Disappointed Panels *Updated with new art*

multimoog

The thing is, your friends probably think these strips are great, because that's who they're aimed at, as these characters are clearly supposed to represent you and the person you're doing the strip with. Since I don't know you as a person, I don't see a lot of humor here. I don't get the 'in' jokes.

Take some of the advice that's been given here and develop these two as characters by making them do something real, not just act out a surreal visual punchline. And please, don't keep drawing them with their eyes unfocused in every panel. It's not working.

brokecracker

This is actually really good.., not the comic (The comic is okay, your style is good for the content, work on art and content because everyone should...) but people are actually discussing things and not flogging each other with big rubber dildos like normal...that, my friend is a successful thread. kudos.

Dangerous

Has anyone mentioned yet that Gabe's style is actually pretty similar to Stephen Silvers'? So if anyone here is being ripped off here it's obviously him :P

Anyway like everyone else said, good line work now work on posing and facial expressions. I'm convinced that the reason comics like PA and VGcats stay popular despite sometimes painfully unfunny jokes is their hilarious facial expressions. Since you're obviously going for random over witty I think some over the top gestures and cartoony facial expressions would do a lot to enhance your comic.

MKR

brokecracker wrote: »

This is actually really good.., not the comic (The comic is okay, your style is good for the content, work on art and content because everyone should...) but people are actually discussing things and not flogging each other with big rubber dildos like normal...that, my friend is a successful thread. kudos.

This is pretty much status quo. It normally starts out harsh, and the way the thread goes depends on how you handle the critique. :P

hijinksensue

@rfilyaw

Holy f-ing shits. That's my kind of funny.

Lly

The jackets joke is hilarious!

hijinksensue

This is my art. This is my soul. Don't judge me.

HugmasterGeneral

I'm achieving an erection just from that. Well done! Hehehe.

Either way, get back on subject, dammit! I want Rob to post more images, even if they aren't part of the strip.

Enef

Dangerous wrote: »

Has anyone mentioned yet that Gabe's style is actually pretty similar to Stephen Silvers'? So if anyone here is being ripped off here it's obviously him :P

Welcome to two years ago.

RobWSales

Here's the newest strip I did. I tried to use some of the advice you guys gave me such as using goofy expressions and poses, as well as telling a more traditional joke. I hope that perhaps one out of ten of you will enjoy these strips.



I'll post up some of my other artwork when I get around to doing more of that, I've been too busy with work and these strips to do much else.

MKR

It's...identical to the previous ones. There are minor changes to setting and pose, but it's the same formulaic grade-school humor.

Awk

i like it, i liked your previous ones too... but i can tell there is some improvement as each comes. I have a feeling youre getting more familiar with your characters. Try changing setting next time. And yes, what are their names??

multimoog

Although to be honest, the joke's a little funnier.

jpeg

I find most of these funny and I am not ashamed to admit it. This last one's joke actually has a punchline that makes sense unlike the other totally random ones, and I actually laughed out loud at this last one.

MKR

I'll admit the formula has a few more variables.

:P

Grifter

heheh Actually, I like this newest one.

Creambun 007

These are great! Make more.

Kewop Decam

much better, but why is the dude in panel two have his back toward the viewer and basically looking at no one?

CyberMonkeytron3000

I think its because hes stupid or something.

That random green shadow is still a little distracting- at least draw a corner of a house there so it makes sense.

They could probably cast some shadows on the ground as well to better place them in the environment.