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Breaking News: Man pummels 'vampire' peacock

LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunchesModerator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
edited July 2007 in Social Entropy++
NEW YORK (AP) -- A peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a Burger King in New York City was beaten by a man who insisted it was a vampire.

Animal control officials in Staten Island say the bird was beaten so fiercely that most of its tail feathers fell out and it had to be euthanized.

The seven-year-old male peacock wandered into the restaurant parking lot and perched on a car hood last week. Charmed employees had been feeding it bread when the man appeared.

A restaurant worker says the man grabbed the bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground and started stomping it. She says when he was asked what he was doing, he responded, "'I'm killing a vampire!"'

Employees called police, but the man ran when he saw them.

This made my day. New York is the best place ever.

http://www.kpho.com/news/13602306/detail.html

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Larlar on
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Posts

  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Fucking vampires. They can change shapes you know.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • QuetziQuetzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2007
    CriticalCondition wrote: »
    Fucking vampires. They can change shapes you know.

    Yeah but peacocks hardly strike me as Satan's consorts.

    Quetzi on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    CriticalCondition wrote: »
    Fucking vampires. They can change shapes you know.

    Yeah but peacocks hardly strike me as Satan's consorts.

    better safe than sorry

    The Lovely Bastard on
    7656367.jpg
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    CriticalCondition wrote: »
    Fucking vampires. They can change shapes you know.

    Yeah but peacocks hardly strike me as Satan's consorts.

    Exactly. They're all "Ooooh, look at my plumage. Oops! Fangs in your neck!"

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Man, what the fuck

    do police even chase people anymore?

    Javen on
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    so i had a sex dream last night sort of

    except i never have sex dreams

    i was just giving myself a blowjob and then i bit me

    what does this mean about my sexuality

    Kovak on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    CriticalCondition wrote: »
    Quetzi wrote: »
    CriticalCondition wrote: »
    Fucking vampires. They can change shapes you know.

    Yeah but peacocks hardly strike me as Satan's consorts.

    Exactly. They're all "Ooooh, look at my plumage. Oops! Fangs in your neck!"

    This post should be read with John Cleese's voice.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • futilityfutility Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    When they say they euthanized it, did they euthanize it or did they stake it?

    futility on
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    TheKovakistani wrote: »
    so i had a sex dream last night sort of

    except i never have sex dreams

    i was just giving myself a blowjob and then i bit me

    what does this mean about my sexuality

    Wait wait wait.

    You bit your own pumphandle?

    I... I got nothing.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    TheKovakistani wrote: »
    so i had a sex dream last night sort of

    except i never have sex dreams

    i was just giving myself a blowjob and then i bit me

    what does this mean about my sexuality

    Obviously you wish you were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

    The Lovely Bastard on
    7656367.jpg
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    CriticalCondition wrote: »
    TheKovakistani wrote: »
    so i had a sex dream last night sort of

    except i never have sex dreams

    i was just giving myself a blowjob and then i bit me

    what does this mean about my sexuality

    Wait wait wait.

    You bit your own pumphandle?

    I... I got nothing.

    yea i uhh

    Kovak on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2007
    TheKovakistani wrote: »
    so i had a sex dream last night sort of

    except i never have sex dreams

    i was just giving myself a blowjob and then i bit me

    what does this mean about my sexuality

    When you say you were giving yourself a blow job, do you mean that you were leaning over or that a duplicate of yourself was performing on you?

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    Javen wrote: »
    Man, what the fuck

    do police even chase people anymore?

    Too fat from all the donuts.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    The Geek wrote: »
    TheKovakistani wrote: »
    so i had a sex dream last night sort of

    except i never have sex dreams

    i was just giving myself a blowjob and then i bit me

    what does this mean about my sexuality

    When you say you were giving yourself a blow job, do you mean that you were leaning over or that a duplicate of yourself was performing on you?

    leaning over

    like talon style

    Kovak on
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited July 2007
    this guy's vampire killing methods are suspect at best

    DJ Eebs on
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    srsly.

    Staleghoti on
    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    The Geebs That Is A Mod wrote: »
    this guy's vampire killing methods are suspect at best

    I'm not an advocate of animal cruelty. At all.

    But if this guy cut off the peacock's head, staked it, and then set it on fire... excellent.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Someone's gotta kill those fucking vampires

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    what the hell

    dont all you guys have guns

    why didnt someone shoot him for being a fuck

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    not to kill him or anything serious like that

    just blow out a kidney or something

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • 2and2is52and2is5 Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Story would be funny if the guy was dressed as the Burger King.

    2and2is5 on
  • webberwebber Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Air wrote: »
    not to kill him or anything serious like that

    just blow out a kidney or something

    It's rude to bring loaded weapons to the dinner table. Most people just leave them in their cars when they're dining out.

    webber on
    This lucky penny is bullshit.
    Hearthstone - Webber #1330
    3DS: 0920-3235-4071
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited July 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    HAHA, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

    Get it?

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2007
    What is it with you and your puns today?

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited July 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    they're a riot

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • ZoolanderZoolander Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    vampire cock

    Zoolander on
  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    always flaccid

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    You know the dinosaurs died out due to vampirism, right?

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    No way!

    do tell

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Drez wrote: »
    You know the dinosaurs died out due to vampirism, right?

    Bullshit. They all died from SuperAIDS.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • ZoolanderZoolander Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    aids is a lot like vampirism

    Zoolander on
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Little RockRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    I wonder if the guy was just an average joe type. I'm mean, did he look like a hobo? or was he dressed in black with a full length trench coat? Was he out LOOKING for vampires or was he just passing by and saw the vampire peacock perched on the hood of a car in the burger king parking lot and felt it was his duty to destroy the evil?

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    All the dinosaurs kept eating each other and shit and the carnivores that preyed on herbivores - like the ones that ate brontosauruses often turned them into vampires instead of killing them. Then they infected the plants. Then the sun came up and they all burned to death, but some of the plants survived - like venus fly-traps and Audrey II - and give the disease to mosquitos and people who see Broadway plays which is fine because those fucking socialites deserve vampirism. I mean 80 dollars a seat? Fuck that.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Drez wrote: »
    All the dinosaurs kept eating each other and shit and the carnivores that preyed on herbivores - like the ones that ate brontosauruses often turned them into vampires instead of killing them. Then they infected the plants. Then the sun came up and they all burned to death, but some of the plants survived - like venus fly-traps and Audrey II - and give the disease to mosquitos and people who see Broadway plays which is fine because those fucking socialites deserve vampirism. I mean 80 dollars a seat? Fuck that.

    :^:

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Little RockRegistered User regular
    edited July 2007
    Can't argue with that last bit.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • QuetziQuetzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2007
    Drez wrote: »
    You know the dinosaurs died out due to vampirism, right?

    Nah, Longinus was the first vampire.

    Quetzi on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited July 2007
    2and2is5 wrote: »
    Story would be funny if the guy was dressed as the Burger King.

    can't

    stop

    laughing

    mental

    image

    priceless

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited July 2007
    Just stomping the shit out of a peacock in some parking lot

    someone yells, "HEY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?"

    King freezes

    sloooooowly turns

    face frozen in his eternal wicked grin, spattered with the fresh blood of his prey

    "I... am killing... a vampire."

    Slowly turns back and resumes stomping the everliving fuck out of some poor bird.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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