I preferred the art in the former, but enjoyed the use of flashbacks in the latter far more. Dialogue in both was pretty good, but I think the Captain's storyline has the edge in that respect. If Keith only had a day to work on the script, like I think he did, then that's about what you'd expect.
If I'm judging by art, writing, and use of theme, then I guess the Captain wins.
Hooraydiation on
0
Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
i made most of this shit up today really quickly and it's probably terrible but whatever. also, the dialogue is pretty bad but it's really just there as a "placeholder" right now. i can change that before it's due
The first few (like five) panels are copied straight from Blue Beetle #14. I'm gonna scan it for you, so just ignore them for now
((from BB#14
Guy smacks a woman on her ass as she walks by. He has a conversation with Jaime Reyes, and then a large man approaches Guy))
The Captain stumbles by and bumps into the large man, who turns his attention to The Captain (obviously drunk). Captain then goes to slap the large man on the back and say, "No worries, chum." but when he smacks the man's back, the man's entire skeleton bursts through his skin.
Guy and Jaime jump up from their table: Guy rings on his costume and Jaime starts to ooze out his Blue Beetle suit before Guy says, "No, this isn't team-up week, I've got to do this myself." Jaime says, "It's not bar-fight week, either, so you better get out of here."
Then a panel with a close up of a bottle of Bud Light with a caption box (blue for Jaime) saying "It's not product-placement week either! You're doing this all wrong!"
Guy says to Jaime "We shouldn't even be talking like this! It's not the fourth-wall breaking round!"
The Captain coughs and says, "I do believe this fight is between you and I, good sir."
Then a panel of guy turning, with a scared/surprised look on his face
splash page of The Captain uppercutting Guy, with Guy's skull peeling out of his skin (very bloody and gory)
Next page has Guy and The Captain in the air, with The Captain wrapped tightly in green "metal" restraints. Guy says, "What the hell are you blabbering on about, you nitwit? That's not what happened. That didn't even make sense."
The Captain says, "I don't think it really counts as a flashback, either." Guy says, "Just shut yer trap" and rings a ballgag into Captain's mouth and launches him into the sun
and oh god this is so bad why did you give me this deadline i mean guy wouldn't even launch him into the sun i don't know how to end things where did my punctuation go this is all your fault
The Captain has it won in my book. Although Guy Gardner has the power ring on the middle finger, I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.
Vancegeoffmen on
So Step Back, Step Back, or I'll Eat my fuckin' finger!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I'm facing what appears to be a common dilemma. In the finished comic-form, I like the first, not the least because Fedora's art is in fact great. On the other hand, the second comic has more of the successful story (while Fedora's left a a chunk of that writing out).
I wish I could give a mixed vote....e.g. give Fedora 1.5 points but give Bastard/Pink 0.5 points...but I'm stuck picking one.
So, Keith/Fedora gets my vote, but it was extremely close.
(Hey, Son of Beyonder, is it possible to let us allocate 2 points - one for a particular author, one for a particular artist?)
Keithdora got beautiful art, but Captain´s flashback on why he hates cops had me snorting coffee on my keyboard.
I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.
The Captain has it won in my book. Although Guy Gardner has the power ring on the middle finger, I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.
1) it's on his ring finger. fedora drew it on the middle finger in the last panel and this wouldn't have happened if he let me see the art (yes it would have)
I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.
Such was the brilliance of Guy Gardner, the tough-talkin badass who looked like he went to school on the short bus.
Remember the Armageddon 2001 Annual of JLI where Gardner was really popular in the future and everyone was getting bowl cuts?
Keithdora got beautiful art, but Captain´s flashback on why he hates cops had me snorting coffee on my keyboard.
I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.
Posts
Fedoraaaa
Plus I like the use of "flashback". So there.
Damnit.
But Keithdora wins out of art and use of continuity.
If I'm judging by art, writing, and use of theme, then I guess the Captain wins.
The rest of the script:
Panel 22
The Captain has side-stepped Guy’s punch.
Guy: Will you take this seriously?
Panel 23.
The Captain flies towards Guy, in between blasts from his ring.
The Captain: Fine. Dick.
Panel 23
The two fly towards each other. Nose to nose.
Panel 24.
The Captain loops behind guy. Grins like a moron.
Panel 25.
The Captain punches Guy in the back of the head.
Sound Effect: KER-SMACK
Panel 26
The Captain floats down over a dazed Guy.
The Captain: Ha! Did you see that? I totally hit. I fucking hit you good!
Panel 27
The Captain takes an energy blast to the chest.
Panel 28.
Guy Gardner smirks, gets to his feet.
Panel 29
Guy walks over to the Captain, his ring pointed down at him.
Panel 30
The Captain springs to his feet, startling Guy.
Panel 31
The Captain smiles and dusts himself off.
The Captain - That was good. But, oh god, remember when I punched you? That was pretty neat.
Flashback:
Panel 32
The exact same punch panel as before, but with light bloom. Also, The Captain has a halo for some reason.
Panel 33
Guy steps back, speechless.
The Captain - Well, if you aren’t going to take this seriously, fuck you. I’m getting a beer.
FLASH FORWARD
Panel 34
The Captain is pouring a beer down his throat while he punches a random patron in a bar.
CAPTION: 2 Hours Later.
Maybe I'll get votes now, okay?
Re: TLB/MP: The "Booyah" made me laugh out loud. Nice metafiction forum reference with the Bunisher, too.
Verdict: SECRET BALLOT.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I wish I could give a mixed vote....e.g. give Fedora 1.5 points but give Bastard/Pink 0.5 points...but I'm stuck picking one.
So, Keith/Fedora gets my vote, but it was extremely close.
(Hey, Son of Beyonder, is it possible to let us allocate 2 points - one for a particular author, one for a particular artist?)
They only form Keithdora if they use the earrings. When they do the dance incorrectly, they form Fedeith, who is just plain useless.
Ugh, I made a Dragonball joke, I feel so dirty.
I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.
Fedora, when I grow up, I want to draw like you.
My digital art! http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=8168
My pen and paper art! http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=7462
But... but FEDORA'S ART...
This is difficult...
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
edit: Also, even though half of division D are a bunch of slack-ass's, the other half are on thier game.
Pink and bastard, that's a hilarious comic, :^:
The next two we don't even have to TRY with.
Because of slackers.
ALSO STOP WINNING ALREADY, GOD.
1) it's on his ring finger. fedora drew it on the middle finger in the last panel and this wouldn't have happened if he let me see the art (yes it would have)
2) fuck you his bowlcut is awesome
(it doesn't matter, I am going to lose anyway. damnit fedora, I blame you.)
(They were actually pretty good)
Such was the brilliance of Guy Gardner, the tough-talkin badass who looked like he went to school on the short bus.
Remember the Armageddon 2001 Annual of JLI where Gardner was really popular in the future and everyone was getting bowl cuts?
Captain gets my vote for funny.
wait til you see what I do with Miller Time!
something here doesn't add up
Lemme clarify.
I loved how the Captain was written in your comic.
I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.
there's no way we can lose with it!
I'll get to it when I get to it.
I love you Geebs.
You hear me?
Love, dammit.
Are you going to let me eat something if I do?
Or give me any water?
This room is awfully dark...
also added to OP
maybe
TEAM X-O MANOWAR (JCM)
But holy shit
JCM
that is excellent.
However, Horse Laser wins.