ROUND ONE AMALGAM THREAD

Son of BeyonderSon of Beyonder From BeyondBeyondRegistered User regular
edited August 2007 in Graphic Violence
TEAM GUY GARDNER (Keith/Fedora)
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TEAM THE CAPTAIN (The Lovely Bastard/Mr. Pink)
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Photobucket died on me so I'm sorry the last one had to be crappyshack.

CHOOSE

CHOOSE OR PERISH

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Son of Beyonder on
«1345

Posts

  • ZeromusZeromus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Keeeith

    Fedoraaaa

    Zeromus on
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  • Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Guy Gardner wins my vote because I'm an art whore.

    Plus I like the use of "flashback". So there.

    Vann Diras on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    awww, Mr. Pink didn't have time to finish it.


    Damnit.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • BlankspaceBlankspace __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    I like both


    But Keithdora wins out of art and use of continuity.

    Blankspace on
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  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Keithdora, son. Keithdora.

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • HooraydiationHooraydiation Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I preferred the art in the former, but enjoyed the use of flashbacks in the latter far more. Dialogue in both was pretty good, but I think the Captain's storyline has the edge in that respect. If Keith only had a day to work on the script, like I think he did, then that's about what you'd expect.

    If I'm judging by art, writing, and use of theme, then I guess the Captain wins.

    Hooraydiation on
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  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited August 2007
    this is the script i sent to fedora
    Keith wrote:
    i made most of this shit up today really quickly and it's probably terrible but whatever. also, the dialogue is pretty bad but it's really just there as a "placeholder" right now. i can change that before it's due
    The first few (like five) panels are copied straight from Blue Beetle #14. I'm gonna scan it for you, so just ignore them for now

    ((from BB#14

    Guy smacks a woman on her ass as she walks by. He has a conversation with Jaime Reyes, and then a large man approaches Guy))

    The Captain stumbles by and bumps into the large man, who turns his attention to The Captain (obviously drunk). Captain then goes to slap the large man on the back and say, "No worries, chum." but when he smacks the man's back, the man's entire skeleton bursts through his skin.

    Guy and Jaime jump up from their table: Guy rings on his costume and Jaime starts to ooze out his Blue Beetle suit before Guy says, "No, this isn't team-up week, I've got to do this myself." Jaime says, "It's not bar-fight week, either, so you better get out of here."

    Then a panel with a close up of a bottle of Bud Light with a caption box (blue for Jaime) saying "It's not product-placement week either! You're doing this all wrong!"

    Guy says to Jaime "We shouldn't even be talking like this! It's not the fourth-wall breaking round!"

    The Captain coughs and says, "I do believe this fight is between you and I, good sir."

    Then a panel of guy turning, with a scared/surprised look on his face

    splash page of The Captain uppercutting Guy, with Guy's skull peeling out of his skin (very bloody and gory)

    Next page has Guy and The Captain in the air, with The Captain wrapped tightly in green "metal" restraints. Guy says, "What the hell are you blabbering on about, you nitwit? That's not what happened. That didn't even make sense."

    The Captain says, "I don't think it really counts as a flashback, either." Guy says, "Just shut yer trap" and rings a ballgag into Captain's mouth and launches him into the sun

    and oh god this is so bad why did you give me this deadline i mean guy wouldn't even launch him into the sun i don't know how to end things where did my punctuation go this is all your fault

    good thing you're the talent

    Garlic Bread on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I am jumping on a bandwagon.

    The rest of the script:

    Panel 22

    The Captain has side-stepped Guy’s punch.

    Guy: Will you take this seriously?

    Panel 23.

    The Captain flies towards Guy, in between blasts from his ring.

    The Captain: Fine. Dick.

    Panel 23

    The two fly towards each other. Nose to nose.

    Panel 24.

    The Captain loops behind guy. Grins like a moron.

    Panel 25.

    The Captain punches Guy in the back of the head.

    Sound Effect: KER-SMACK
    Panel 26

    The Captain floats down over a dazed Guy.

    The Captain: Ha! Did you see that? I totally hit. I fucking hit you good!

    Panel 27

    The Captain takes an energy blast to the chest.

    Panel 28.

    Guy Gardner smirks, gets to his feet.

    Panel 29

    Guy walks over to the Captain, his ring pointed down at him.

    Panel 30

    The Captain springs to his feet, startling Guy.

    Panel 31

    The Captain smiles and dusts himself off.

    The Captain - That was good. But, oh god, remember when I punched you? That was pretty neat.

    Flashback:

    Panel 32

    The exact same punch panel as before, but with light bloom. Also, The Captain has a halo for some reason.

    Panel 33

    Guy steps back, speechless.

    The Captain - Well, if you aren’t going to take this seriously, fuck you. I’m getting a beer.

    FLASH FORWARD

    Panel 34

    The Captain is pouring a beer down his throat while he punches a random patron in a bar.

    CAPTION: 2 Hours Later.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited August 2007
    way to copy off of me and release the script you lemming

    Garlic Bread on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Look, I am already losing for not copying anything else you did.

    Maybe I'll get votes now, okay?

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • Toji SuzuharaToji Suzuhara Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Re: K/F: Fedora's art is totally rocking. I love the pixelcammo for the pants.

    Re: TLB/MP: The "Booyah" made me laugh out loud. Nice metafiction forum reference with the Bunisher, too.

    Verdict: SECRET BALLOT.

    Toji Suzuhara on
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  • VancegeoffmenVancegeoffmen Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The Captain has it won in my book. Although Guy Gardner has the power ring on the middle finger, I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.

    Vancegeoffmen on
    So Step Back, Step Back, or I'll Eat my fuckin' finger!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • mattharvestmattharvest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I'm facing what appears to be a common dilemma. In the finished comic-form, I like the first, not the least because Fedora's art is in fact great. On the other hand, the second comic has more of the successful story (while Fedora's left a a chunk of that writing out).

    I wish I could give a mixed vote....e.g. give Fedora 1.5 points but give Bastard/Pink 0.5 points...but I'm stuck picking one.

    So, Keith/Fedora gets my vote, but it was extremely close.

    (Hey, Son of Beyonder, is it possible to let us allocate 2 points - one for a particular author, one for a particular artist?)

    mattharvest on
  • mattharvestmattharvest Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    Keithdora, son. Keithdora.

    They only form Keithdora if they use the earrings. When they do the dance incorrectly, they form Fedeith, who is just plain useless.


    Ugh, I made a Dragonball joke, I feel so dirty.

    mattharvest on
  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I liked both, but TLB & Mr Pink made me chuckle a bit more than Keithdora, plus I thought they used the flashbacks a bit more effectively.

    Wildcat on
  • JCMJCM Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Keithdora got beautiful art, but Captain´s flashback on why he hates cops had me snorting coffee on my keyboard.

    I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.

    Fedora, when I grow up, I want to draw like you.

    JCM on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I actually understood where the flashbacks were in Captain's comic...

    But... but FEDORA'S ART...

    This is difficult...

    DarkPrimus on
  • Mr PinkMr Pink I got cats for youRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The other pages are in the mail now, my internet has been off and on all week due to moving.

    Mr Pink on
  • FedoraFedora Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh holy shit we're not losing?

    edit: Also, even though half of division D are a bunch of slack-ass's, the other half are on thier game.

    Pink and bastard, that's a hilarious comic, :^:

    Fedora on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Look at it this way, Fedora.

    The next two we don't even have to TRY with.

    Because of slackers.

    ALSO STOP WINNING ALREADY, GOD.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited August 2007
    The Captain has it won in my book. Although Guy Gardner has the power ring on the middle finger, I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.

    1) it's on his ring finger. fedora drew it on the middle finger in the last panel and this wouldn't have happened if he let me see the art (yes it would have)

    2) fuck you his bowlcut is awesome

    Garlic Bread on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    While I don't like to consort with the enemy, the bowl cut is indeed awesome.

    (it doesn't matter, I am going to lose anyway. damnit fedora, I blame you.)

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • CharmyCharmy Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    They were both awful and you people should be ashamed of yourselves.

    (They were actually pretty good)

    Charmy on
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  • whalleywhatwhalleywhat Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.

    Such was the brilliance of Guy Gardner, the tough-talkin badass who looked like he went to school on the short bus.
    Remember the Armageddon 2001 Annual of JLI where Gardner was really popular in the future and everyone was getting bowl cuts?

    Captain gets my vote for funny.

    whalleywhat on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    JCM wrote: »
    Keithdora got beautiful art, but Captain´s flashback on why he hates cops had me snorting coffee on my keyboard.

    I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.

    Fedora, when I grow up, I want to draw like you.

    wait til you see what I do with Miller Time!

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I voted for Keitdora because I love the Captain and the art was gorgeous.

    The Muffin Man on
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited August 2007
    I voted for Keitdora because I love the Captain and the art was gorgeous.

    something here doesn't add up

    Garlic Bread on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Keith wrote: »
    I voted for Keitdora because I love the Captain and the art was gorgeous.

    something here doesn't add up

    Lemme clarify.
    I loved how the Captain was written in your comic.

    The Muffin Man on
  • Mr PinkMr Pink I got cats for youRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I really hope Geebs puts up the last half of the comic that I PM'd him.

    I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.

    Mr Pink on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    quit talking and get cracking at the next script.

    there's no way we can lose with it!

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited August 2007
    Mr Pink wrote: »
    I really hope Geebs puts up the last half of the comic that I PM'd him.

    I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.

    I'll get to it when I get to it.

    DJ Eebs on
  • Mr PinkMr Pink I got cats for youRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Mr Pink wrote: »
    I really hope Geebs puts up the last half of the comic that I PM'd him.

    I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.

    I'll get to it when I get to it.

    I love you Geebs.

    You hear me?

    Love, dammit.

    Mr Pink on
  • Mr PinkMr Pink I got cats for youRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    quit talking and get cracking at the next script.

    there's no way we can lose with it!

    Are you going to let me eat something if I do?

    Or give me any water?

    This room is awfully dark...

    Mr Pink on
  • Son of BeyonderSon of Beyonder From Beyond BeyondRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Last pages of THE CAPTAIN:
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    Mr Pink wrote:
    Photobucket died on me so I'm sorry the last one had to be crappyshack.

    also added to OP

    Son of Beyonder on
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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Mr Pink wrote: »
    quit talking and get cracking at the next script.

    there's no way we can lose with it!

    Are you going to let me eat something if I do?

    Or give me any water?

    This room is awfully dark...

    maybe

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited August 2007
    GUY GARDNER WINS!

    DJ Eebs on
  • Son of BeyonderSon of Beyonder From Beyond BeyondRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    TEAM AARON STACK (-SPI-)
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    TEAM X-O MANOWAR (JCM)
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    Son of Beyonder on
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  • BlankspaceBlankspace __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    I love SPI's cover.


    But holy shit

    JCM

    that is excellent.

    Blankspace on
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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited August 2007
    DON'T HOOOOOOOOOOOO

    DJ Eebs on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh god this one was super hard.

    However, Horse Laser wins.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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This discussion has been closed.