ROUND ONE AMALGAM THREAD

Son of Beyonder

TEAM GUY GARDNER (Keith/Fedora)

TEAM THE CAPTAIN (The Lovely Bastard/Mr. Pink)

Photobucket died on me so I'm sorry the last one had to be crappyshack.

CHOOSE

CHOOSE OR PERISH

Zeromus

Keeeith

Fedoraaaa

Vann Diras

Guy Gardner wins my vote because I'm an art whore.

Plus I like the use of "flashback". So there.

The Lovely Bastard

awww, Mr. Pink didn't have time to finish it.


Damnit.

Blankspace

I like both


But Keithdora wins out of art and use of continuity.

Calamity Jane

Keithdora, son. Keithdora.

Hooraydiation

I preferred the art in the former, but enjoyed the use of flashbacks in the latter far more. Dialogue in both was pretty good, but I think the Captain's storyline has the edge in that respect. If Keith only had a day to work on the script, like I think he did, then that's about what you'd expect.

If I'm judging by art, writing, and use of theme, then I guess the Captain wins.

Garlic Bread

this is the script i sent to fedora

Keith wrote:

i made most of this shit up today really quickly and it's probably terrible but whatever. also, the dialogue is pretty bad but it's really just there as a "placeholder" right now. i can change that before it's due

---

The first few (like five) panels are copied straight from Blue Beetle #14. I'm gonna scan it for you, so just ignore them for now

((from BB#14

Guy smacks a woman on her ass as she walks by. He has a conversation with Jaime Reyes, and then a large man approaches Guy))

The Captain stumbles by and bumps into the large man, who turns his attention to The Captain (obviously drunk). Captain then goes to slap the large man on the back and say, "No worries, chum." but when he smacks the man's back, the man's entire skeleton bursts through his skin.

Guy and Jaime jump up from their table: Guy rings on his costume and Jaime starts to ooze out his Blue Beetle suit before Guy says, "No, this isn't team-up week, I've got to do this myself." Jaime says, "It's not bar-fight week, either, so you better get out of here."

Then a panel with a close up of a bottle of Bud Light with a caption box (blue for Jaime) saying "It's not product-placement week either! You're doing this all wrong!"

Guy says to Jaime "We shouldn't even be talking like this! It's not the fourth-wall breaking round!"

The Captain coughs and says, "I do believe this fight is between you and I, good sir."

Then a panel of guy turning, with a scared/surprised look on his face

splash page of The Captain uppercutting Guy, with Guy's skull peeling out of his skin (very bloody and gory)

Next page has Guy and The Captain in the air, with The Captain wrapped tightly in green "metal" restraints. Guy says, "What the hell are you blabbering on about, you nitwit? That's not what happened. That didn't even make sense."

The Captain says, "I don't think it really counts as a flashback, either." Guy says, "Just shut yer trap" and rings a ballgag into Captain's mouth and launches him into the sun

and oh god this is so bad why did you give me this deadline i mean guy wouldn't even launch him into the sun i don't know how to end things where did my punctuation go this is all your fault

good thing you're the talent

The Lovely Bastard

I am jumping on a bandwagon.

The rest of the script:

Panel 22

The Captain has side-stepped Guy’s punch.

Guy: Will you take this seriously?

Panel 23.

The Captain flies towards Guy, in between blasts from his ring.

The Captain: Fine. Dick.

Panel 23

The two fly towards each other. Nose to nose.

Panel 24.

The Captain loops behind guy. Grins like a moron.

Panel 25.

The Captain punches Guy in the back of the head.

Sound Effect: KER-SMACK
Panel 26

The Captain floats down over a dazed Guy.

The Captain: Ha! Did you see that? I totally hit. I fucking hit you good!

Panel 27

The Captain takes an energy blast to the chest.

Panel 28.

Guy Gardner smirks, gets to his feet.

Panel 29

Guy walks over to the Captain, his ring pointed down at him.

Panel 30

The Captain springs to his feet, startling Guy.

Panel 31

The Captain smiles and dusts himself off.

The Captain - That was good. But, oh god, remember when I punched you? That was pretty neat.

Flashback:

Panel 32

The exact same punch panel as before, but with light bloom. Also, The Captain has a halo for some reason.

Panel 33

Guy steps back, speechless.

The Captain - Well, if you aren’t going to take this seriously, fuck you. I’m getting a beer.

FLASH FORWARD

Panel 34

The Captain is pouring a beer down his throat while he punches a random patron in a bar.

CAPTION: 2 Hours Later.

Garlic Bread

way to copy off of me and release the script you lemming

The Lovely Bastard

Look, I am already losing for not copying anything else you did.

Maybe I'll get votes now, okay?

Toji Suzuhara

Re: K/F: Fedora's art is totally rocking. I love the pixelcammo for the pants.

Re: TLB/MP: The "Booyah" made me laugh out loud. Nice metafiction forum reference with the Bunisher, too.

Verdict: SECRET BALLOT.

Vancegeoffmen

The Captain has it won in my book. Although Guy Gardner has the power ring on the middle finger, I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.

mattharvest

I'm facing what appears to be a common dilemma. In the finished comic-form, I like the first, not the least because Fedora's art is in fact great. On the other hand, the second comic has more of the successful story (while Fedora's left a a chunk of that writing out).

I wish I could give a mixed vote....e.g. give Fedora 1.5 points but give Bastard/Pink 0.5 points...but I'm stuck picking one.

So, Keith/Fedora gets my vote, but it was extremely close.

(Hey, Son of Beyonder, is it possible to let us allocate 2 points - one for a particular author, one for a particular artist?)

mattharvest

Anjin-San wrote: »

Keithdora, son. Keithdora.

They only form Keithdora if they use the earrings. When they do the dance incorrectly, they form Fedeith, who is just plain useless.


Ugh, I made a Dragonball joke, I feel so dirty.

Wildcat

I liked both, but TLB & Mr Pink made me chuckle a bit more than Keithdora, plus I thought they used the flashbacks a bit more effectively.

JCM

Keithdora got beautiful art, but Captain´s flashback on why he hates cops had me snorting coffee on my keyboard.

I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.

Fedora, when I grow up, I want to draw like you.

DarkPrimus

I actually understood where the flashbacks were in Captain's comic...

But... but FEDORA'S ART...

This is difficult...

Mr Pink

The other pages are in the mail now, my internet has been off and on all week due to moving.

Fedora

Oh holy shit we're not losing?

edit: Also, even though half of division D are a bunch of slack-ass's, the other half are on thier game.

Pink and bastard, that's a hilarious comic, :^:

The Lovely Bastard

Look at it this way, Fedora.

The next two we don't even have to TRY with.

Because of slackers.

ALSO STOP WINNING ALREADY, GOD.

Garlic Bread

Vancegeoffmen wrote: »

The Captain has it won in my book. Although Guy Gardner has the power ring on the middle finger, I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.

1) it's on his ring finger. fedora drew it on the middle finger in the last panel and this wouldn't have happened if he let me see the art (yes it would have)

2) fuck you his bowlcut is awesome

The Lovely Bastard

While I don't like to consort with the enemy, the bowl cut is indeed awesome.

(it doesn't matter, I am going to lose anyway. damnit fedora, I blame you.)

Charmy

They were both awful and you people should be ashamed of yourselves.

(They were actually pretty good)

whalleywhat

Vancegeoffmen wrote: »

I can never forgive that awful Bowl cut he had back in the 90's.

Such was the brilliance of Guy Gardner, the tough-talkin badass who looked like he went to school on the short bus.
Remember the Armageddon 2001 Annual of JLI where Gardner was really popular in the future and everyone was getting bowl cuts?

Captain gets my vote for funny.

The Lovely Bastard

JCM wrote: »

Keithdora got beautiful art, but Captain´s flashback on why he hates cops had me snorting coffee on my keyboard.

I hope you guys get more time to do a longer script next round, Captain is hilarious. Lovely Bastard´s script makes mine look like crap, and the cartoony art does lend to the silliness of it.

Fedora, when I grow up, I want to draw like you.

wait til you see what I do with Miller Time!

The Muffin Man

I voted for Keitdora because I love the Captain and the art was gorgeous.

Garlic Bread

The Muffin Man wrote: »

I voted for Keitdora because I love the Captain and the art was gorgeous.

something here doesn't add up

The Muffin Man

Keith wrote: »

The Muffin Man wrote: »

I voted for Keitdora because I love the Captain and the art was gorgeous.

something here doesn't add up

Lemme clarify.
I loved how the Captain was written in your comic.

Mr Pink

I really hope Geebs puts up the last half of the comic that I PM'd him.

I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.

The Lovely Bastard

quit talking and get cracking at the next script.

there's no way we can lose with it!

DJ Eebs

Mr Pink wrote: »

I really hope Geebs puts up the last half of the comic that I PM'd him.

I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.

I'll get to it when I get to it.

Mr Pink

The Geebs That Is A Mod wrote: »

Mr Pink wrote: »

I really hope Geebs puts up the last half of the comic that I PM'd him.

I mean, we're going to loose anyway, it looks like, but I want people to see the whole thing.

I'll get to it when I get to it.

I love you Geebs.

You hear me?

Love, dammit.

Mr Pink

The Lovely Bastard wrote: »

quit talking and get cracking at the next script.

there's no way we can lose with it!

Are you going to let me eat something if I do?

Or give me any water?

This room is awfully dark...

Son of Beyonder

Last pages of THE CAPTAIN:

Mr Pink wrote:

Photobucket died on me so I'm sorry the last one had to be crappyshack.

also added to OP

The Lovely Bastard

Mr Pink wrote: »

The Lovely Bastard wrote: »

quit talking and get cracking at the next script.

there's no way we can lose with it!

Are you going to let me eat something if I do?

Or give me any water?

This room is awfully dark...

maybe

DJ Eebs

GUY GARDNER WINS!

Son of Beyonder

TEAM AARON STACK (-SPI-)

TEAM X-O MANOWAR (JCM)

Blankspace

I love SPI's cover.


But holy shit

JCM

that is excellent.

DJ Eebs

DON'T HOOOOOOOOOOOO

The Lovely Bastard

Oh god this one was super hard.

However, Horse Laser wins.