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The Ethics of Porn in Relationships
Posts
She's talking about lesbianism?
So women will reject other women who fail to get off on or don't want to participate in porn-popularized sex acts?
I think it is exactly the opposite. Women who have the ability or willingness to do those things aren't regarded very highly by other women.
edit: i don't think she is talking about women, because i dont think she is stupid
I just come here and read most of the time
The Cat made a comment about women who either don't get off on or don't want to do certain sex acts that are popularized by porn. This apparently leads to rejection by men. That's how I read it anyway.
Which I find kinda odd, considering I've never known a guy who would completely reject anything they could get if they couldn't get exactly what they wanted. (ie - no guy ever said "What? You won't do anal? Fuck that, I'm not having sex with you then" or "No sex? No, I refuse to settle for just a blowjob. Good day to you, madam.")
Yeah, it's actually kind of depressing how much better a job of it they've done than the non-porn sectors of the entertainment industry.
Porn is an unstoppable juggernaut. It will consume us all one day.
Why would you expect the non-porn sectors of the entertainment industry to co-opt amateur porn?
The Cat is saying that men are leaving women who won't do the things the guys see in pornography.
That probably happens, but as Ege said, plenty of guys will take whatever they can get. Also, depending on how you look at it, a guy who gains a bunch of fantasies from porn that he can't find someone to help fulfill is also pretty sad. Though how this thread has turned into a competition over which genders suffered more at the terrible hands of porn is much sadder.
We need to call Steve McQueen to lure it into a power station and electrocute it.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I don't think it's that uncommon for a girl to be portrayed as a prude for not being willing to do 'x' (whatever that may be). It's really just an extension of the whole virgin/whore thing. Women are derided for having sex too often (slut/whore), but are expected to be great and adventurous in the sack.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
It would be caught on camera and released as a snuff film. And the cycle would go on.
Co-opting the technologies, strategies and whatnot by which amateur porn can exist on a geographically large scale. Not the porn itself.
I could see that. I guess the ones people would consider you a prude for not doing, I don't see as coming from porn. Oral is kind of a given these days as far as I've seen, with or without the influence of porn. I guess a case could be made for anal, among certain groups. I've personally never met anyone who would consider it prudish to not be into that. Beyond that I can't think of anything right now that's mainstream enough that most people would consider it prudish not to do.
That's not porns fault.
That's partly due to their mothers telling them that if you have sex with anyone before you're married, you're a whore.
And partly due to their boyfriend pressuring them for sex. Giving them a complex that if they do it, they're a whore. Otherwise they're a prude.
It depends on the extent of the homeliness, but it is much easier for women to get laid than for men to get laid. An average-looking woman can go to a bar with the intention of getting laid and she will have plenty of willing guys all over her within minutes and she'll be free to pick and choose.
For a guy? Not so easy. After all, we live in a world where women hold the key in terms of access to sex.
The guys who can pick and choose are by far the minority, and a very small one. And they aren't necessarily the most desirable to sleep with, either.
But it has. Remember lonelygirl15? There have been other advertising campaigns using youtube viral videos, too. And Blair Witch did the camcorder thing ten years ago.
He didn't say "all". He said "party".
Seriously, stop it Cat.
To be fair, he didn't say "party" either.
Did you miss the part where I said "And the boyfriend pressuring her"?
Because I'm pretty sure I said it's a joint effort where one side says "DO IT AND YOU'RE A WHORE" and the other side says "DO IT OR YOU'RE A PRUDE!"
On top of that, are you actually DENYING that the mother is partially to blame? Even a little?
Porn has nothing to do with it.
Porn is because men like sex and titties. Porn offers us both.
He seemed to imply that mothers held a mentionable portion of the blame, which is bullshit.
Edit: Also, there are so many different people one could blame for a woman's sexual confusion. It's society, not just their mother or boyfriend. Pretty certain not every girl grows up with a mother that fits your description, and not every guy is going to pressure their girlfriend.
No, what he did was divide the blame equally between one's mother and one's sexual partner as if the whole rest of society didn't exist. That's what I was snarking about. And there's another layer of stupid to it since not all mothers are Evil Prudes Out To Deny The Boyfriend A Good Time.
And not all boyfriends are sexual monsters who only want your goods.
Seriously. At least TRY and be evenhanded.
It really is not.
You should read My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday. She talks a lot about this subject, and one of the things she mentions is how much mothers are responsible for girls' feelings of guilt and confusion when it comes to sex. Those same girls grow up to be sexually-confused and troubled women.
except she didn't insist on heterosexuality like you did
I neither said nor implied that, you incredible idiot. You certainly did, however.
Perhaps Ms. Friday's relationship with her mother led her to be sexually-confused, but most of the girls I've known have been raised by mothers who taught them the risks of sex without making it out to be some terrible act that only bad, evil girls indulge in. I think you're making a very bold generalization based on the life experience of one older woman.
"Partly" does not imply 50/50.
If it's 90/10, it's still "partly".
I didn't bring up the fact that the media makes sex look like the most important thing, as well as religion telling you it's wrong till you're married, and music telling you it's awesome, etc etc.
There's millions of factors.
Significant other and mom are the two main reasons because they are people whose opinion generally matters to EVERYONE.
Can we please not sink to the level of personal attacks? You're a mod, for god sake, and I'm assuming we're both adults.
I did not say or imply anything.
You should go to Amazon and read the book's synopsis.
Then come back and reconsider your premature evaluation.
WOOO!!! Who's up for some keg-stands?!
Yeah, if women abandon any and all standards including those pertaining to health, safety and well-being, they can get laid really easily. It works the same way for men, you're just unwilling to acknowledge a universe in which men might have to part with standards, or more accurately in which you might have to part with your standards. But that whole mess is hilarious because you're the only one asserting that anyone should have part with any standards in the first place. Just because you have standards doesn't mean women hate sex. For fuck's sake.