Fucking with your coworkers

Callius

So, last night a coworker of mine didn't lock his computer or log off when he went home. And we all know what that means... time to fuck with him!

I screen shotted his desktop, hid his task bar, hid all of his icons, put the screen shot as the wallpaper and reversed his two mouse buttons. Lo and behold, he couldn't do shit.

Well, I got in to work this morning and he was fucking livid, all bein' aggressive and saying that if I did it again he'd beat me. Shit like that. Turns out he couldn't figure out a way to fix it so he completely reformatted his computer.


yes... he reformatted his computer instead of spending five minutes to "fix" it.

He is supposed to be tech support.


Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

and go.

Arcibi

Callius wrote: »

Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

:winky:

Butters

I used to fuck with my coworkers all the time when I am in the office.

Now we have worms armageddon to settle scores.

Zonugal

Butters wrote: »

I used to fuck with my coworkers all the time when I am in the office.

Now we have worms armageddon to settle scores.

You must work in a marvelous place

Abracadaniel

That was a mean thing to do to Weaver, Cal.

Monkeybomb

bahahaha

tech support

more like


I don't know, something dumb.

Lord Dave

One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

Aslan

I love you, Cal.

Butters

Zonugal wrote: »

Butters wrote: »

I used to fuck with my coworkers all the time when I am in the office.

Now we have worms armageddon to settle scores.

You must work in a marvelous place

Not really but due to the business' small size we can get away with it over lunch and occasionally at the end of the day. Those of us that do it each have a laptop.

Callius

Dumb Hero wrote: »

That was a mean thing to do to Weaver, Cal.

Weaver is actually, in the immortal words of our supervisor, a rockstar.

If I did this to him he'd have it resolved in about two minutes and then somehow make my computer explode in a puff of razor blades coated in ebola.

Monkeybomb

Lord Dave wrote: »

One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

I put various items from my one coworker's desk in Jello.

Then when I changed offices, I started sending him faxes as himself from the future.

Katchem_ash

Lord Dave wrote: »

One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

Yeah, isn't that from The Office?

lostwords

One time, I banged Pam Beasley

Lord Dave

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Lord Dave wrote: »

One time I took my coworker's phone and threw it up inside the ceiling. Then I called him a bunch of times. He got soooooo mad.

I put various items from my one coworker's desk in Jello.

Then when I changed offices, I started sending him faxes as himself from the future.

One time I moved my coworker's desk into the bathroom.

It didn't seem to bother him that much, though. Maybe he's a pervert.

Stale

Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

FOR MONTHS.


To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.

Preacher

I met my wife to be at work so I fuck my coworker all the time.

Skull Man

I wrote JESSICA SHERMAN WAS HERE SLUTS inside the elevator with a Sharpie

guess what it worked

Callius

Stale wrote: »

Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

FOR MONTHS.


To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.

Stale, you're just fucking evil sometimes.

Let's make love.

Larlar

I can't remember if I got the idea from here or from someone else, but I once taped an airhorn underneath my boss' hydraulic chair so that when he sat down it would go off.

So basically what all my other coworkers in all the cubicles on the floor heard was a relatively quiet work morning followed by a loud blast followed by a loud scream and a crash and then a lot of loud laughing from another part of the floor. I almost passed out, I was laughing so hard.

He bought me donuts for that one.

Lord Dave

I started calling my coworker Big Tuna because he ate a tuna sandwich on his first day, and now I'm really hungry and wish I had a tuna sandwich.

CrackedLens

I signed a coworker up for the Army a couple of months ago...

Also, anytime somebody leaves their computer open, it is an automatic invitation to post the most fucked up picture (SFW) you can find.

Meiz

I fingerbanged an admin assistant in the elevator once.

Aslan

I have a story about how I fucked this girl on the fourth floor landing right above the ice machine and some guy heard us and they thought it was some of the inmates we have around here doing trustee duty and they locked that door from then on, and I got another job in a completely different part of the building and someone mentioned that incident on my first day. I am legend.

Larlar

Aslan wrote: »

I have a story about how I fucked this girl on the fourth floor landing right above the ice machine and some guy heard us and they thought it was some of the inmates we have around here doing trustee duty and they locked that door from then on, and I got another job in a completely different part of the building and someone mentioned that incident on my first day. I am legend.

That's awesome.

Tonkka

Larlar wrote: »

I can't remember if I got the idea from here or from someone else, but I once taped an airhorn underneath my boss' hydraulic chair so that when he sat down it would go off.

So basically what all my other coworkers in all the cubicles on the floor heard was a relatively quiet work morning followed by a loud blast followed by a loud scream and a crash and then a lot of loud laughing from another part of the floor. I almost passed out, I was laughing so hard.

He bought me donuts for that one.

That's brilliant.

Skull Man

I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

she got paid more for a week, then fired

that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

Butters

I've only had sex at the workplace with my girlfriend after hours so it really doesn't count.

potatoe

the trick is to do that whole screenshot and hiding icons thing, but do it on 2 neighboring monitors
place each wallpaper on the opposite computer, and switch the cables

snap

i used to refer to one of my coworkers as a plebian. He didn't know what it meant and thought it was a "pretty cool nickname."

CrackedLens

snap wrote: »

i used to refer to one of my coworkers as a plebian. He didn't know what it meant and thought it was a "pretty cool nickname."

haha

Kuribo's Shoe

Skull Man wrote: »

I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

she got paid more for a week, then fired

that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

harsh

Rage

- Officemate went on vacation for two weeks, so I brought in a Costco-sized roll of plastic wrap. Even our director was in his cube, wrapping everything that wasn't attached to his desk. Once that job was completed, we walled in and roofed the cube with the remaining plastic wrap, afterwhich I cut a rectangular window out, taped a cardboard "door" labeled "Recycling".

For the next two weeks, our entire building of 200+ devs, QA and tech support staff filled Josh's cube up with empty pop cans and cardboard. His cube never smelled quite right ever again after that.


- My first gig at MS years ago. One of the PMs went on maternity leave for a month after his daughter was born. Our old building had a massive freight elevator around the back side of the regular elevator area, and one of the other managers decided it would make an absolutely perfect office for Terry, since Terry was an incredible dick about people fucking with his stuff.

So, we had Facilities close down the elevator for 2 days - took reference photos of Terry's office, and 10 of us proceeded to systematically take apart and re-build his entire office IN the freight elevator; desk, computers, haggard-ass futon couch thing...everything was removed and relocated into his new "office" and our boss's boss had MSIT change his office location in the GAL to "B25-Freight01" to make it official.

He was actually a really good sport about it when he came back, and even worked out of the elevator for a couple of days to keep the joke rolling.

Jordyn

I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

Larlar

Jordyn wrote: »

I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

Then really it's your boss who's messing with everyone by hiring you.

Callius

CrackedLens wrote: »

I signed a coworker up for the Army a couple of months ago...

Also, anytime somebody leaves their computer open, it is an automatic invitation to post the most fucked up picture (SFW) you can find.

It's a known fact that leaving one's computer unlocked is an open invite.

Hunter

I put black marker on the eye piece of the microscopes all the time.

Or put hazard labels on DI water that warn of cancer or blood born pathogens.

Jordyn

Larlar wrote: »

Jordyn wrote: »

I mess with my new coworkers simply by being here.

Then really it's your boss who's messing with everyone by hiring you.

It's my mom that's messing with them for not just paying for all my stuff.

Stale

The celery salt thing was probably my greatest achievement in life.

Over 2 months I took a perfectly sane aware confident man, and by the end he was haggard, costantly ill, and smelled celery EVERYWHERE. Even at home.


"It follows me..... it follows me."


Of course it did. he was kicking it up onto his pant legs each day. He spent thousands of dollars going to doctors. He was convinced he had a brain tumor.

Skull Man

Kuribo's Shoe wrote: »

Skull Man wrote: »

I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

she got paid more for a week, then fired

that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

harsh

yeah well

I was hungry and had six hours before I got off

I just got more and more pissed

plus she was fat and seemed to really relish her food

so it was extra infuriating

and she used to sing radio edits of shit songs; that is, she would sing the songs loudly and go "hmm" over any swears

Dajian

Whenever someone does not lock thier system at my work we "pony" them.

We compose an email to the entire office saying how much they love ponies and usually include several "my little pony" images then send it from thier outlook.

Jordyn

Hunter wrote: »

I put black marker on the eye piece of the microscopes all the time.

Or put hazard labels on DI water that warn of cancer or blood born pathogens.

I read that as microphones first, and I was trying to figure out what kind of microphone has an eye piece.