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Online dating sites. Useful tool to meet someone or just creepy?
Usually I just say "hey, would you like to kiss me?"
if they say yes, we go. if they say maybe, "lets find out" and we go.
if they say no, "I didn't say you could. you just looked like you were thinking about something"
Yeah, I've never been a fan of just asking random strangers for intimate lip cuddles. It sounds good in theory but you just end up looking mildly autistic. Unless you do it while wearing aviators in which case you end up looking like you deserve a smack.
I met my current girlfriend on FaceParty - while it might not be a site specifically for hooking up, it's why I was there on the advice of a friend. I think that as the Internet becomes more mainstream, it will be easier to find non-creepy people on the dating sites.
I wasn't gonna go into a "zomg, do you know how stupid it is to blah blah blah?" tirade while I am picking my girlfriend up work.
I didn't mean to imply that you should have done something different. Maybe given her advice on where to hide small knives and untying knots. But otherwise. You know.
I met my current girlfriend on FaceParty - while it might not be a site specifically for hooking up, it's why I was there on the advice of a friend. I think that as the Internet becomes more mainstream, it will be easier to find non-creepy people on the dating sites.
FaceParty sounds like the name of a foreign porno.
As a eHarmony user I just wanted to clear up that interracial thing. The site will match you with people outside your racial/ethnic group, but one of the compatibility questions it asks you is if its okay for it to match you with people of other races/ethnic groups/religions etc.
So essentially if you told it you dont want any non-white/black/asian etc, then those matches wont show up in your profile. The site is about providing you matches you want, not expanding your horizons.
I think I must be one of the creeps, and I mostly just get matches for the desperate or crazy. All of my matches are single moms, larger ladies, or the almost 30 gotta start popping out kids crowd.
I've never done eHarmony or anything, but I did meet my ex-boyfriend after he saw my craigslist ad. We had an excellent 10 month relationship, broke up because of external factors, and are now good friends. Personally, I prefer craigslist because there's no forms to fill out; you have to write your own ad, put down whatever information you want, and see who it appeals to, but I've found that quirky, interesting ads lead to interesting people most of the time! Plus, there's no annoying "wink" system, and people actually have to take the time to write you an email that isn't "ur cute look at my profile."
I've never done eHarmony or anything, but I did meet my ex-boyfriend after he saw my craigslist ad. We had an excellent 10 month relationship, broke up because of external factors, and are now good friends. Personally, I prefer craigslist because there's no forms to fill out; you have to write your own ad, put down whatever information you want, and see who it appeals to, but I've found that quirky, interesting ads lead to interesting people most of the time! Plus, there's no annoying "wink" system, and people actually have to take the time to write you an email that isn't "ur cute look at my profile."
I'd never thought of trying that before people actually started mentioning it. Mostly I'd heard the "lol, craigslist whore ad" stories.
I've looked on there a few times for my area just to see what type of people are around here using it....
Most of the time the entire listing is spammed with the same 3-4 ads + variants for several pages. Interspersed with these are several pages of ads that have next to no information, no pictures, no nothing. Then I've seen a couple which look to be pretty normal people.
That's the one thing I do like about most of the "date" sites I've seen/heard about so far, at least they make an attempt to weed out the bots/crawlers/spam. Every time I log into myspace (not all that often) I have 2-3 pages worth of spam friend invites that are from deleted profiles or ones that still exist and are nothing but ads for some webcam page, band, or some other type of ad/promotion.
EclecticGroove on
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
So, I know someone who went to meet their E-Harmony match in Wyoming.
The guy locked her in his house for 4 days and wouldn't feed her.
Whenever she went to sleep on the couch, she would wake up to find him staring at her...laying on the floor in front of the couch.
On day 4 she hit the guy over the head with a lamp and stole his cellphone to call the cops.
What did I say to her before she left to go meet the guy? "Hope you don't get murdered."
And looking on the situation, that was good advice. Thanks to your inspiring wordvomit, she didn't.
of course, on first dates with online people, you tell a few people where you are going, and when to expect you home. Someone should have called the police and reported her missing on day 1.5
Zonkytonkman on
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
I love craigslist, it's a great site. So long as I'm looking for furniture or something.
Or if I want someone to pee on me
Or if you want someone to pee on your furniture..... O_o
Seriously though, I'm not a fan of online dating sites, and I never have been. I think the best way to meet people is face to face, throw a little bit of random fate in there maybe, but at least for the most part you know what you're getting into. Yeah, meeting someone in a bar is no different than meeting them online in terms of what their real intentions are, but at least you're not looking at a two year old picture, or one that's been heavily photoshopped. You know for a fact at least ONE specific thing about them is true, the way they look.
I have lots of trouble with casual conversation. Like I'm awful at banal introductions and making a good first impression. I find my interactions with new people are much easier when know a thing or two about them to talk about before I meet them.
Seriously though, I'm not a fan of online dating sites, and I never have been. I think the best way to meet people is face to face, throw a little bit of random fate in there maybe, but at least for the most part you know what you're getting into. Yeah, meeting someone in a bar is no different than meeting them online in terms of what their real intentions are, but at least you're not looking at a two year old picture, or one that's been heavily photoshopped. You know for a fact at least ONE specific thing about them is true, the way they look.
While this is true, it's far less of a concern for me at least.
You want to post up a pic you scraped out of some random hole in the wall softcore porn site and say it is you? Fine and dandy, that's gonna come up and get discovered REAL quick.
It's all the personality issues that I can't stand, and it's one of the reasons most of the local "in your face" pick up places drive me crazy. I find that is really no different from most of the "date" sites as well.
I really don't care if you put on 20lbs since the last pic you put up, but I do care that the reason for your last breakup was an obsessive stalking of your partner or that he filed a restraining order due to assault or something. These are things that just don't come up in "normal" conversation.
*shrug* It's tough sometimes no matter which way you go about it, I just feel it's just as valid as any other method to look for a date, but you shouldn't settle on it as "the" method, just one of them.
EclecticGroove on
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
I have lots of trouble with casual conversation. Like I'm awful at banal introductions and making a good first impression. I find my interactions with new people are much easier when know a thing or two about them to talk about before I meet them.
I've heard a lot of people say that problem, and I guess I see what you're saying. It just seems to me though that in meeting someone online, where they can read all about you before you ever even send an e-mail, makes it just as forced or fake as it could be meeting in person.
Seriously though, I'm not a fan of online dating sites, and I never have been. I think the best way to meet people is face to face, throw a little bit of random fate in there maybe, but at least for the most part you know what you're getting into. Yeah, meeting someone in a bar is no different than meeting them online in terms of what their real intentions are, but at least you're not looking at a two year old picture, or one that's been heavily photoshopped. You know for a fact at least ONE specific thing about them is true, the way they look.
While this is true, it's far less of a concern for me at least.
You want to post up a pic you scraped out of some random hole in the wall softcore porn site and say it is you? Fine and dandy, that's gonna come up and get discovered REAL quick.
It's all the personality issues that I can't stand, and it's one of the reasons most of the local "in your face" pick up places drive me crazy. I find that is really no different from most of the "date" sites as well.
I really don't care if you put on 20lbs since the last pic you put up, but I do care that the reason for your last breakup was an obsessive stalking of your partner or that he filed a restraining order due to assault or something. These are things that just don't come up in "normal" conversation.
*shrug* It's tough sometimes no matter which way you go about it, I just feel it's just as valid as any other method to look for a date, but you shouldn't settle on it as "the" method, just one of them.
I have no scientific evidence to back this up... AT ALL, but having said that, I think the psycho stalker to normal ratio is a little worse online than it is in the bar scene or club scene. Once again, just my opinion.
I have done the online dating scene in its full entirety: Paid sites, free sites etc.
The main goal I had in mind when doing this is to have the online dating scene provide "extra woman income". Basically it was an additional field of views to find other women to date. I have been successful with both the free as well as the paid sites. Current girlfriend I met through eHarmony. I wanted to experiment with their personality test and to see if it really does match you with someone compatible. After a few dates here and there, I met my girlfriend. We pretty much have similar interests, tastes etc, but with a hint of difference and variety.
Now the main thought about online dating is the hambeasts that dwell in the online world. This is certainly true and I have had my share of "this picture is recent.................5 years and 100 lbs ago". Though I feel it is a right of passage to date the photoshop ladies, liars and what not, before you can truly find the person you are looking for.
My reviews of sites:
OKCupid: Not a bad site, dated someone from it for 9 months, however, severely lacking members of the female variety. I.e. Sausagefest
Plentyoffish: Dated a few women off of here. Good free site, though with any free site, alot of women are there for just the attention they are not getting from their boyfriends/husbands at home. I recommend this site starting off. Good amount of people.
Match.com: I would say this is the worst paid site. My experience is half of the profiles are fake and or were created by members because it was "free". Match doesn't actively remove this profiles thus you getting false results. Open to lesbians/gays.
eHarmony: Good personality test. THEY pick the people for you, you don't. They match you up according to your test results. This could be good or bad depending on how you look at it. You have to go through "phases" before you actually get to have a conversation with another(or you can skip to open convo). A recommend this ONLY if you have a deal (I paid $40 bucks total and got 3 months, instead of $60 for 1 month). Not a dating site for lesbians/gays.
If you want to know any particular information, advice, "how-to", questions, I would be happy to field em.
As a eHarmony user I just wanted to clear up that interracial thing. The site will match you with people outside your racial/ethnic group, but one of the compatibility questions it asks you is if its okay for it to match you with people of other races/ethnic groups/religions etc.
So essentially if you told it you dont want any non-white/black/asian etc, then those matches wont show up in your profile. The site is about providing you matches you want, not expanding your horizons.
I think I must be one of the creeps, and I mostly just get matches for the desperate or crazy. All of my matches are single moms, larger ladies, or the almost 30 gotta start popping out kids crowd.
I had the single mom matches, but to be honest, I had no fatties at all.
I have no scientific evidence to back this up... AT ALL, but having said that, I think the psycho stalker to normal ratio is a little worse online than it is in the bar scene or club scene. Once again, just my opinion.
It would fit in well with John Gabriel's Anonymous Internet Fuckwit Theory.
Personally, I have trouble seducing my way out of a wet paper bag.
I don't care if it makes sense or not, it's true. Thus, having more information than "attractive female" immediately on hand, and the ability to take my time with my opening intro and responses seemed appealing. So I tried a few dating sites (it was years ago... one of them was for the college age crew, back when I was in college), met a few people and wouldn't say that it was a waste of time, but none of the meetings really went anywhere for longer than a week or two. It led to a few dates, but in hindsight I'm not sure it'd be anything I'd bother with again, were I to find myself single.
Of course, this was also over half a decade ago, so perhaps the online scene is better than I give it credit for.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
I don't disagree with that. But it's easier to dodge a lot of psycho stalkers online. Meet one at a bar they can follow you home or to your apt/dorm/whatever.
Not to say things like the one guys friend getting stuck in some freaks house for a few days can't happen, but hell... it can happen anywhere if you aren't careful.
I agree with nexus in that it is a bit easier to open up a conversation online than a random in person meeting. It's a lot like meeting someone at an event that has to do with your interests/hobbies, you already have something you can open up and talk about.
Yeah but these misrepresentation issues can come up in face-to-face real life stuff too.
I used Lavalife for quite a while, and I tended to insist to girls I chatted with that I had no problem getting to know them online, but I do want to have a face-to-face meeting sooner rather than later.
And yeah, I also want to send out a big WTF to women (and I presume some men must do this as well) who post a long and strangely specific laundry-list of "requirements" for people to contact them.
I mean, I understand some people have standards, but how stuck up do you have to be to specify that you only want to talk to german polyglut writers who live on a ranch make no less than six figures? (I'm not making that up, and I'm sure it wasn't sarcastic either)
Romantic Undead on
3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited September 2007
Also, I can find out if they really like Ayn Rand or Donnie Darko before I waste time and/or money on them.
I tend to meet people pretty quick from dating sites instead of going through an extended online courtship. I think it prevents false expectations/perceptions from building up.
And yeah, I also want to send out a big WTF to women (and I presume some men must do this as well) who post a long and strangely specific laundry-list of "requirements" for people to contact them.
No shit. I mean, don't get me wrong. If your ideal match is a Greek god who has quantum mathematics as a light side hobby as he does stand up comedy, designs and builds his own house, runs his own fortune 500 company, and donates to charity while giving blood every month.... that's fine and dandy. But to list that as a requirement before they will grace you with the divine benevolence of a reply.... that's a bit much.
There have been women who, if I simply just looked at them, I would have had little or no interest in at all. And had I just looked at them from an objective like/dislike/hobby list, I would see little to no reason ever to talk with them. But after actually talking with them? I found them to be incredibly cool, and sometimes, yes, even quite sexy in a way that I wouldn't have "gotten" without knowing them.
On a bet I signed up for e-harmony, the site that advertises that it matches based on an elaborate compatability system that doesn't fail.
After going through the process and answering all the questions...well...
It told me it wasn't confident it could match me with anyone and wouldn't allow me to join.
It did that to me too. Some other site has TV ads based on eHarmony rejecting people. I find the one where a really great sounding guy mentions he's gay and gets rejected to be particularly funny. Way to go, dick bags.
On my personal experience with dating sites, I had been with okcupid for nearly a year. It's where I met my current girlfriend and we're very much in love at this point. I found the match system to be fairly accurate too. However, before meeting my current girlfriend I met a girl who hid the fact that she weighed 260 lbs with camera angles I hadn't learn to spot as trouble and another who applied large amounts of makeup to hide the fact that she'd suffered severe burns as a child that went so far as to damage her vocal cords. That shit wasn't appreciated.
Protip: To distinguish if the picture in question (most likely a face shot) may be false and the woman may be larger then she appears, look at her picture and then look at her neck fat. That is a dead give away. Larger it is, larger she is.
precisionk on
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited September 2007
Yeah, the camera angle thing is pretty easy to spot. Basically only from the neck up and usually from a bit above.
Well sadly you fuckers weren't there at the time to give me such sage fucking advice.
The internet's been around a while now. If you don't know already know about internet disease and things like that, it's your responsibility to educate yourself.
Absurdist on
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
0
amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
i use facebook to look at chicks in skimpy clothing
is this wrong, y/n
only if you try to add them to your friends list to be the guy that's like "dude, look how many hot chicks are my friends... they all totally want me too...! I'm like the mac daddy of facebook..."
Protip: To distinguish if the picture in question (most likely a face shot) may be false and the woman may be larger then she appears, look at her picture and then look at her neck fat. That is a dead give away. Larger it is, larger she is.
This is the truth.
I refer to it as a case of 'the angles'. If someone's profile pictures only include face shots at different angles then they are hiding something (their massive body). Seriously stop hiding that shit. How am I (or anyone else) supposed to figure out if I wanna get nasty (eventually) with you besides meeting you in person and finding out I can fit two of me inside you? So now if I can't get a decent idea of how someone looks from their profile and they don't include some kind of exercise activity then I lose interest. Sure they could be in super shape, but probably not.
Sorry for the tangent.
I tried eHarmony and didn't like it. Namely there weren't alot of womens I matched. And the ones I was mateched with weren't interesting at all. AND I don't like their phases interface. I've gotten some positive response out of okCupid. My area has a fair amount of members for.
I had a pretty negative opinion ten years ago of meeting people online. Things changed when I got out of college and all my friends started getting married.
Posts
Yeah, I've never been a fan of just asking random strangers for intimate lip cuddles. It sounds good in theory but you just end up looking mildly autistic. Unless you do it while wearing aviators in which case you end up looking like you deserve a smack.
The guy locked her in his house for 4 days and wouldn't feed her.
Whenever she went to sleep on the couch, she would wake up to find him staring at her...laying on the floor in front of the couch.
On day 4 she hit the guy over the head with a lamp and stole his cellphone to call the cops.
What did I say to her before she left to go meet the guy? "Hope you don't get murdered."
It was my girlfriend's boss.
I wasn't gonna go into a "zomg, do you know how stupid it is to blah blah blah?" tirade while I am picking my girlfriend up work.
I saw that movie. Sam Jackson was scary.
So essentially if you told it you dont want any non-white/black/asian etc, then those matches wont show up in your profile. The site is about providing you matches you want, not expanding your horizons.
I think I must be one of the creeps, and I mostly just get matches for the desperate or crazy. All of my matches are single moms, larger ladies, or the almost 30 gotta start popping out kids crowd.
MWO: Adamski
I'd never thought of trying that before people actually started mentioning it. Mostly I'd heard the "lol, craigslist whore ad" stories.
I've looked on there a few times for my area just to see what type of people are around here using it....
Most of the time the entire listing is spammed with the same 3-4 ads + variants for several pages. Interspersed with these are several pages of ads that have next to no information, no pictures, no nothing. Then I've seen a couple which look to be pretty normal people.
That's the one thing I do like about most of the "date" sites I've seen/heard about so far, at least they make an attempt to weed out the bots/crawlers/spam. Every time I log into myspace (not all that often) I have 2-3 pages worth of spam friend invites that are from deleted profiles or ones that still exist and are nothing but ads for some webcam page, band, or some other type of ad/promotion.
I love craigslist, it's a great site. So long as I'm looking for furniture or something.
Or if I want someone to pee on me
of course, on first dates with online people, you tell a few people where you are going, and when to expect you home. Someone should have called the police and reported her missing on day 1.5
Or if you want someone to pee on your furniture..... O_o
Seriously though, I'm not a fan of online dating sites, and I never have been. I think the best way to meet people is face to face, throw a little bit of random fate in there maybe, but at least for the most part you know what you're getting into. Yeah, meeting someone in a bar is no different than meeting them online in terms of what their real intentions are, but at least you're not looking at a two year old picture, or one that's been heavily photoshopped. You know for a fact at least ONE specific thing about them is true, the way they look.
While this is true, it's far less of a concern for me at least.
You want to post up a pic you scraped out of some random hole in the wall softcore porn site and say it is you? Fine and dandy, that's gonna come up and get discovered REAL quick.
It's all the personality issues that I can't stand, and it's one of the reasons most of the local "in your face" pick up places drive me crazy. I find that is really no different from most of the "date" sites as well.
I really don't care if you put on 20lbs since the last pic you put up, but I do care that the reason for your last breakup was an obsessive stalking of your partner or that he filed a restraining order due to assault or something. These are things that just don't come up in "normal" conversation.
*shrug* It's tough sometimes no matter which way you go about it, I just feel it's just as valid as any other method to look for a date, but you shouldn't settle on it as "the" method, just one of them.
I've heard a lot of people say that problem, and I guess I see what you're saying. It just seems to me though that in meeting someone online, where they can read all about you before you ever even send an e-mail, makes it just as forced or fake as it could be meeting in person.
I have no scientific evidence to back this up... AT ALL, but having said that, I think the psycho stalker to normal ratio is a little worse online than it is in the bar scene or club scene. Once again, just my opinion.
The main goal I had in mind when doing this is to have the online dating scene provide "extra woman income". Basically it was an additional field of views to find other women to date. I have been successful with both the free as well as the paid sites. Current girlfriend I met through eHarmony. I wanted to experiment with their personality test and to see if it really does match you with someone compatible. After a few dates here and there, I met my girlfriend. We pretty much have similar interests, tastes etc, but with a hint of difference and variety.
Now the main thought about online dating is the hambeasts that dwell in the online world. This is certainly true and I have had my share of "this picture is recent.................5 years and 100 lbs ago". Though I feel it is a right of passage to date the photoshop ladies, liars and what not, before you can truly find the person you are looking for.
My reviews of sites:
OKCupid: Not a bad site, dated someone from it for 9 months, however, severely lacking members of the female variety. I.e. Sausagefest
Plentyoffish: Dated a few women off of here. Good free site, though with any free site, alot of women are there for just the attention they are not getting from their boyfriends/husbands at home. I recommend this site starting off. Good amount of people.
Match.com: I would say this is the worst paid site. My experience is half of the profiles are fake and or were created by members because it was "free". Match doesn't actively remove this profiles thus you getting false results. Open to lesbians/gays.
eHarmony: Good personality test. THEY pick the people for you, you don't. They match you up according to your test results. This could be good or bad depending on how you look at it. You have to go through "phases" before you actually get to have a conversation with another(or you can skip to open convo). A recommend this ONLY if you have a deal (I paid $40 bucks total and got 3 months, instead of $60 for 1 month). Not a dating site for lesbians/gays.
If you want to know any particular information, advice, "how-to", questions, I would be happy to field em.
I had the single mom matches, but to be honest, I had no fatties at all.
It would fit in well with John Gabriel's Anonymous Internet Fuckwit Theory.
Personally, I have trouble seducing my way out of a wet paper bag.
I don't care if it makes sense or not, it's true. Thus, having more information than "attractive female" immediately on hand, and the ability to take my time with my opening intro and responses seemed appealing. So I tried a few dating sites (it was years ago... one of them was for the college age crew, back when I was in college), met a few people and wouldn't say that it was a waste of time, but none of the meetings really went anywhere for longer than a week or two. It led to a few dates, but in hindsight I'm not sure it'd be anything I'd bother with again, were I to find myself single.
Of course, this was also over half a decade ago, so perhaps the online scene is better than I give it credit for.
Not to say things like the one guys friend getting stuck in some freaks house for a few days can't happen, but hell... it can happen anywhere if you aren't careful.
I agree with nexus in that it is a bit easier to open up a conversation online than a random in person meeting. It's a lot like meeting someone at an event that has to do with your interests/hobbies, you already have something you can open up and talk about.
I used Lavalife for quite a while, and I tended to insist to girls I chatted with that I had no problem getting to know them online, but I do want to have a face-to-face meeting sooner rather than later.
And yeah, I also want to send out a big WTF to women (and I presume some men must do this as well) who post a long and strangely specific laundry-list of "requirements" for people to contact them.
I mean, I understand some people have standards, but how stuck up do you have to be to specify that you only want to talk to german polyglut writers who live on a ranch make no less than six figures? (I'm not making that up, and I'm sure it wasn't sarcastic either)
I tend to meet people pretty quick from dating sites instead of going through an extended online courtship. I think it prevents false expectations/perceptions from building up.
No shit. I mean, don't get me wrong. If your ideal match is a Greek god who has quantum mathematics as a light side hobby as he does stand up comedy, designs and builds his own house, runs his own fortune 500 company, and donates to charity while giving blood every month.... that's fine and dandy. But to list that as a requirement before they will grace you with the divine benevolence of a reply.... that's a bit much.
There have been women who, if I simply just looked at them, I would have had little or no interest in at all. And had I just looked at them from an objective like/dislike/hobby list, I would see little to no reason ever to talk with them. But after actually talking with them? I found them to be incredibly cool, and sometimes, yes, even quite sexy in a way that I wouldn't have "gotten" without knowing them.
On my personal experience with dating sites, I had been with okcupid for nearly a year. It's where I met my current girlfriend and we're very much in love at this point. I found the match system to be fairly accurate too. However, before meeting my current girlfriend I met a girl who hid the fact that she weighed 260 lbs with camera angles I hadn't learn to spot as trouble and another who applied large amounts of makeup to hide the fact that she'd suffered severe burns as a child that went so far as to damage her vocal cords. That shit wasn't appreciated.
is this wrong, y/n
The internet's been around a while now. If you don't know already know about internet disease and things like that, it's your responsibility to educate yourself.
only if you try to add them to your friends list to be the guy that's like "dude, look how many hot chicks are my friends... they all totally want me too...! I'm like the mac daddy of facebook..."
This is the truth.
I refer to it as a case of 'the angles'. If someone's profile pictures only include face shots at different angles then they are hiding something (their massive body). Seriously stop hiding that shit. How am I (or anyone else) supposed to figure out if I wanna get nasty (eventually) with you besides meeting you in person and finding out I can fit two of me inside you? So now if I can't get a decent idea of how someone looks from their profile and they don't include some kind of exercise activity then I lose interest. Sure they could be in super shape, but probably not.
Sorry for the tangent.
I tried eHarmony and didn't like it. Namely there weren't alot of womens I matched. And the ones I was mateched with weren't interesting at all. AND I don't like their phases interface. I've gotten some positive response out of okCupid. My area has a fair amount of members for.
I had a pretty negative opinion ten years ago of meeting people online. Things changed when I got out of college and all my friends started getting married.
It is ok friend, we have all made THAT mistake.