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Proper Beard Advice and Maintenance: Hobos Welcome
Scumdogg
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Okay, i have a pretty manly beard. Let's just get that out in the open right now. The kind of beard that if you saw it, you'd go "Goddamn that is certainly a beard".
I also am married, and don't really have or need a job dealing with the public or an actual employer.
So issues of maintenance and fullness are nonexistent.
What i want to know, and can never seem to get a consistent answer on, is if there's some sort of preset genetic cap on beard length. My high school biology teacher way back when always used to say there was, but he...said a lot of things.
I'm a few months into Beardville at this point, and it's reaching right around the top of my chest, more than enough to obscure my neck. I keep the neck bits shaved and the sides shorter, to accentuate length over general bushiness. But it seems to have kinda slowed down. And while i have a beard to rival Jim Morrison's corpse, enough for even the manliest of men, i want to range into legendary territory. I need like a viking beard that i can pleat and twist bones into before i sack villages.
Is this possible, or am i doomed to have a beard that stops when it stops?
I also am married, and don't really have or need a job dealing with the public or an actual employer.
So issues of maintenance and fullness are nonexistent.
What i want to know, and can never seem to get a consistent answer on, is if there's some sort of preset genetic cap on beard length. My high school biology teacher way back when always used to say there was, but he...said a lot of things.
I'm a few months into Beardville at this point, and it's reaching right around the top of my chest, more than enough to obscure my neck. I keep the neck bits shaved and the sides shorter, to accentuate length over general bushiness. But it seems to have kinda slowed down. And while i have a beard to rival Jim Morrison's corpse, enough for even the manliest of men, i want to range into legendary territory. I need like a viking beard that i can pleat and twist bones into before i sack villages.
Is this possible, or am i doomed to have a beard that stops when it stops?
Scumdogg on
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She'll like what i tell her to like.
Serious answer though, yeah, she's cool with it. Really, when there's no logical reason holding me back from bearding it up, why not just go for it? When things cycle back around and the beard is once again symbolic of all things from presidential to intellectual, i will already have the best beard in town. It's called planning ahead.
Besides, i used to rock the chopstache combo that makes you either look like a Steampunk bartender or a Charles Dickens-esque British banking fatcat. I think she is even more accepting of the beard because it doesn't represent such an anachronistic state.
I agree with this 100%
I read your post and went "Wait, people are still growing long beards ... ?"
I've seen guys with beardly stubble and such, but never a real .. long beard. I don't know whether to clap or shake my head, but either way, I think it's just one of those things that depends on the person. Same way some people have very spotty beards (poor saps), and some people have very thick, lustrous facial hair.
I guess you could always get beard extensions? Why am I encouraging this?
This makes pretty good sense. Perhaps i should investigate some sort of strengthening conditioner if i'm gonna be in this for the long haul.
this is just outright false.
Also, you lucky bastard, I have to shave.
you fail, sir!
Yeah, I don't mean to sound harsh. Its really not my thing, and you may get funny looks, but if you and the person expected to jam her face into yours on a regular basis are ok with it, go for your life :P its certainly worth taking care of that hair as much as you would the scalp. Just don't be afraid of trimming it, even if it takes longer to grow out at least it won't get scatty and wonky.
water spirals the wrong way out the sink
Thats some very poor taste you have there, Cat. You're young so most likely a beard would be unappealing to you so to someone more mature it may have an opposite affect. Men in my family look much better with beards as it just naturally grows better on their face than other folk. Heck, even George Clooney looks pretty good with a beard.
I digest... Scumdogg, beards are like head hair and its just gonna grow.
PSN: Broichan
Lies.
I think LondonBridge meant this beard:
It most definitely has beardy qualities. Also, not everyone looks stupid with long beards. For example, it's widely accepted that if the Archbishop of Canterbury fulfilled the druidic potential of his facial hair, then there would be no more of this schism stuff.
I've also started growing my beard, initially out of laziness, but now I am keeping it as an experiment. I'm starting a new job and I'm going to keep the beard for a week or two while I familarise myself with people such, then I might go back to clean-shaven or a mustache. Do you think it will change people's perception of me? I would hope people are not so shallow that it would, but I don't really know, hence the experiment. Any thoughts?
Somebody PM that guy.
When i had my beard shorter i went for the Zangief look, mohawk and all. Now it's just too long for Zangief. Then as it got longer i trimmed it up a bit and had my King Leonidas period. Now it's longer than that. I've got a long way to go before ZZ Top, so i'm thinking about a layover at Hasidic Jew.
This is another strong argument for beards. Those not blessed with generous amounts of facial hair are doomed to look the same day in and day out, until time ravages their once-youthful looks. Every couple weeks, i'm in completely different territory, looks-wise. I think shaving would be like Rogue wanting to give up her powers in X-Men 3. Sure, it seems like a good idea at first, but then you realize it's foolish to squander one's genetic gifts.
I'm not going to camwhore up this thread with my ugly mug, but for those interested, the picture in my profile is my Leonidas phase. That was like two months ago.
Anyway, i'm glad the beard-supporters have come out of the woodwork, and you'll all be happy to know i've obtained the strengthening conditioner. Fashionable stubble and line-beards, you've made a powerful enemy.
Also, I tend to neurotically trim my beard while using my computer, so I'll probably never know my full beard potential.
Oh, also:
Oculus: TheBigDookie | XBL: Dook | NNID: BigDookie
I may have to initiate some sort of humanitarian effort here. Grinding and then farming out my beard to those less fortunate. Specifically, the less fortunate financially capable of purchasing their manliness.
Also, proper beard thread? I heard proper beard thread somewhere. Consider the thread slightly altered.
Because my face apparently loves to sprout hair because goddamn fuck it grows so fast and I don't want it.
I've been told this is because I have Greek heritage. Fuck Greece.
This is me, too. For those of us incapable of growing manly facial hair anywhere but the chin, what options do we have?
I heard a bit of an urban myth a little while back that if you irritate the skin you can induce follicle growth gradually. But I'm pretty sure that's a myth.
This also has the side effect in that I can't seem to get that 5 o-clock shadow look, which is something I've always wanted to try.
If you dye your hair a reddish tone it will bring all of that color out and probably look good. That is, if red tones look good on you.
I may try that. I've got the same thing as The Wolfman (posting in a beard thred - ha!). head hair is very uniform, but face hair starts going crazy with the colors; I'll get some that are raven black.
Right now I've just got a patchy thing on my chin. Looks OK if I keep it trimmed.
Basically all you can do is to try and have the best goatee possible. Under no circumstances should patchy beards be "tolerated" until they fill in. It just looks desperate. But goatees, if done right, are perfectly acceptable.
And you must have a terribly nasty keyboard as well...
It's pretty annoying. I've been looking for a reliable electrical shaver. I've been going with my old Gilette Mach 3 since it's been introduced to the market. And I've been shaving since I was 15.
Would that be me? Beards rule!
Edit: I really have no choice but to grow a beard. When I was clean shaven, I'd have to shave 2 times a day to keep the shadow away. It's easier to shave my head every coupla days. As I said in another thread, I don't condition it normally. It's soft regardless.
OP, what you're wanting is to keep your beard healthy so it can reach optimal length. Look for special beard care products like these.
I tried the goat for a while after sporting Abe Lincoln sideburns for half a year. If I grow my head hair out I pull off a nice Wolverine, but I don't think I can pull off a Lenoidas. Sporting that much man is a dangerous responsibility I'm not ready to accept.
This brings my girlfriend much confusion and mirth at my expense.
She likes it though.....I think.
Do it...
For Sparta.
A most manly of high fives to you.