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Arsehole Neighbours

AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
edited October 2007 in Social Entropy++
We have all encountered them at some point. They are arseholes. They are our arsehole neighbours.

Right by examining this little picture below we have a very basic idea of my driveway and car location.

key.jpg

With this in mind, I have received several complaints from "a tenant in your street" via the local council; apparently, my car is on the sidewalk. Noticably, the picture I have presented is FUCKING SIDEWALK-LESS, this is because THERE IS NO FUCKING SIDEWALK.

There is, however, a sidewalk on the adjacent side of the road.

What does matter you ask? Well, my car is frequently, theoretically, parked over what would be public property and so prevents the ease of use of the "sidewalk" (which, mind, my driveway is sitting on). Now, I know the law states that beyond my fence is public property but I have always assumed that people would walk around the car, or even across the road on the adjacent sidewalk. Most people do, waving politely to me as I garden of a Sunday morning (no actual gardening is done, it is more like beer drinking and it is mostly done in front of the TV and/or barbecue with friends).

So, the stage is set.

I washed my car on the weekend, usual business, has to be done. Go inside when the job is finished and return, only five minutes later with a chamois to dry the car off. There before me is this:

saab-keyed.jpg

This has happened to my partner's car, my next door neighbour's cars (for the same reason; their driveway sits on council land) and now, my car. Now, it's personal...

My next door neighbour is heavily suspicious of an old, fat man that lives four doors up, but we have no proof and the police (who we did ring) refuse to assist without a witness. This leaves only the good fellows of SE++


Do I go doorknocking SE? Do I "key" this fellow to death in an irony befitting only such an act? Do I yield and never park my car in my driveway as the Good Lord did so intend? Do I form a neighbourhood watch and secretly inspect every member's keys in a cunning attempt to find a match and thusly, brutally exact revenge? Do I set up cameras in cleverly concealed areas in my front yard to catch the bastard? Do I set up lasers in my front yard to slice and dice this bastard?

tl;dr: my car got keyed, who do I fuck up?

Ambassador on
«13

Posts

  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited October 2007
    council?

    arsehole?
    i have a solution

    stop being english

    Knob on
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    you need to sit in your car in a balaclava, and wait

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    It kills you that we drive on the left, doesn't it?

    Ambassador on
  • snapsnap Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    partner?

    you mean like for crime fighting, right?

    snap on
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    you've just spent a long time drawing a crude ms paint rendition of what appears to be every front yard in the world

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I wanted it to reflect the council versus my property thing more or less.

    Maybe I just know where you all live and have a memory like a fox.

    Ambassador on
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    snap wrote: »
    partner?

    you mean like for crime fighting, right?

    Yes, exactly like how Batman and Robin sleep in the same bed too.

    Ambassador on
  • snapsnap Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    that is a mixed metaphor.

    snap on
  • snapsnap Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Ambassador wrote: »
    snap wrote: »
    partner?

    you mean like for crime fighting, right?

    Yes, exactly like how Batman and Robin sleep in the same bed too.

    awesome.

    in that case, you two should just go across the street and beat the shit out of them

    snap on
  • ApolloTreatingYouApolloTreatingYou __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Knob is the only reason I read this forum. That's why.

    ApolloTreatingYou on
    no you cannot have a sig that size. especially with compression that crappy.
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Ah, here is your problem.

    You drive a Saab.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I like to draw the longbow now and then.

    Ambassador on
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    doubt it was the old man, was probably just some teenager faggot.

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    also your car needs some speed holes

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • ApolloTreatingYouApolloTreatingYou __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Do what every other Englishman does: bitch about is in a whiny pessimistic fashion like a small girl. Then get drunk and take the anger out on your girlfriend and/or mom.

    ApolloTreatingYou on
    no you cannot have a sig that size. especially with compression that crappy.
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    It has nothing to do with the Saab thing. My neighbour drives a Mitsubish-

    HEY.

    COME ON MAN.

    SAAB IS A NICE CAR TO DRIVE MAN.

    COME ON.


    I AM NOT A DENTIST I ASSURE YOU.

    Ambassador on
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    why dont you move your car forward 2 metres and no one will care

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    move it forward 2 metres

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    no one will care if you move it forward 2 metres

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    We're having some work done on the house and that means the driveway is unusuable. All will go back to normal hopefully by Christmas, but until then, I have to defend my goddamn car.

    Ambassador on
  • ApolloTreatingYouApolloTreatingYou __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Ambassador wrote: »
    We're having some work done on the house and that means the driveway is unusuable. All will go back to normal hopefully by Christmas, but until then, I have to defend my goddamn car.

    Put a sign out front that says. "Fuck you bitch"

    ApolloTreatingYou on
    no you cannot have a sig that size. especially with compression that crappy.
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Holy cow it's Ambassador

    Sheri on
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    Holy cow it's Sheri! <3

    Ambassador on
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Ambassador wrote: »
    We're having some work done on the house and that means the driveway is unusuable. All will go back to normal hopefully by Christmas, but until then, I have to defend my goddamn car.

    Put a sign out front that says. "Fuck you bitch"

    My brother wants to put wireless interweb cams everywhere and be all Bond-toy about it.

    Ambassador on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited October 2007
    have you tried eating a crumpet and not owning a gun

    you limey fuck

    Knob on
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    hey crumpets are good

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
  • OdenOden Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Park the car on the street then you fucking goober.

    Oden on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I would put up Claymore mines and set up a sniper lane to protect my car.

    Hunter on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited October 2007
    bsjezz wrote: »
    hey crumpets are good

    well it was either a crumpet joke or a bad teeth joke

    Knob on
  • OdenOden Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    can't make fun of americans

    they will shoot you

    Oden on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited October 2007
    or sit on you with our giant fast food girth

    Knob on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    key a big smiley into your own car

    just to piss them off

    potatoe on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    travolta01.jpg

    They should be fucking killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.

    Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it just so I could've caught him doing it.

    What a fucker!

    What's more chickenshit than fucking with a man's automobile? I mean, don't fuck with another man's vehicle.

    You don't do it.

    It's just against the rules.

    #pipe on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Ambassador wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Holy cow it's Sheri! <3

    Long time no see, dude.

    Also, careful with those hearts, your partner might see it. :P

    Sheri on
  • OdenOden Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    #pipe wrote: »
    travolta01.jpg

    Mind if I shoot up here?

    Oden on
  • AmbassadorAmbassador Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    Ambassador wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Holy cow it's Sheri! <3

    Long time no see, dude.

    Also, careful with those hearts, your partner might see it. :P

    It has been established that our relationship is one of crime fighting only (plus living together and paying bills).

    Ambassador on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Ambassador wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Ambassador wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Holy cow it's Sheri! <3

    Long time no see, dude.

    Also, careful with those hearts, your partner might see it. :P

    It has been established that our relationship is one of crime fighting only (plus living together and paying bills).

    And sex.

    Sheri on
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    i live in this crappy housing community kinda place and the parking spots say 'visitors only' i think and at the end of my narrow street theres a turning area which has space for 3 cars and has 'no parking' signs posted up even though its short and not a big deal to reverse out of

    i remember a few years ago the crappy community council fucks tried to crack down on it by putting big stickers on the side windows of cars telling people not to park in those places
    and they had some crappy adhesive which made them hard to take off and left a lot of that glue residue shit

    but i wasnt driving back then so it was just a problem for my brother to deal with and i guess they stopped caring about it after that or maybe they got a bunch of shit for it because it hasnt happened since

    now if i come home a bit late im lucky if there is an empty space in my street and unlucky if the other closest parking with twice as many spaces is filled up
    i just had a look outside and even though my street is very narrow there are 3 extra cars just parked on the side of the road and one of them is behind my car like it was this morning and i had to reverse maneuver around it

    it may not be ideal but with the limited space everyone does it which means no one is going to have a big problem if its a bit hard for them to get in or out of their garage and any attempts at intervention by the crappy community council people will be collectively ignored


    i dont know why i made such a long post about this
    i guess the moral is you should get a place with decent sized land so you dont have to worry about crowding or spilling over into shared space
    like this friend of mine who uses his drug money to buy ricer cars and just has like 5 of them parked in his garden

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • GlorfindelGlorfindel Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Oden wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    travolta01.jpg

    Mind if I shoot up here?

    Me casa, su casa.

    Glorfindel on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited October 2007
    why don't you buy your own property and park wherever the fuck you like on it

    Knob on
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