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screwinge withe ye olde obnoxiouse coworkere

13»

Posts

  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    or you could just turn on her narrator for windows

    tugga on
    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    mouse, that is just cruel

    i like it

    potatoe on
  • Captain HeavysteinCaptain Heavystein Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Tell her she needs to stop eating so much. Not in a nice way, though, because she won't understand it.

    Suggest that she's fat, or has really bad teeth.

    Captain Heavystein on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    As long as you're doing what mouse said, if you have the time, switch around all the icons and names for the different shortcuts. Meaning, the blue e that says Internet Explorer opens Add/Remove, and the wastebin that says Recycle Bin leads to the porn that is gay.

    Charles Kinbote on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    Bake some brownies with chocolate flavored x-lax.

    Leave on a counter in the lounge.

    See if she partakes.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • tachyontachyon Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Instead of the hiding icons trick, I suggest this:

    Right click the desktop, go to properties, hit the desktop tab, customize desktop, then click the web tab, then new.

    Add a website like http://www.starterupsteve.com/seizurebots/, or http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/youare, or http://www.weebls-stuff.com/flash/badger.swf

    Chances are she will have no clue on how to disable it.


    Also, it sounds like you sit in or near the same cube, but what I do to a coworker a few cubes down is to walk down to his cube entrance and just stand. I'll wait till he acknowledges that I am there, he then asks 'Yes?' or 'What?" , then I'll look up and say 'Oh nothing, nevermind'. Doing this at random intervals really f's with a person.

    tachyon on
  • SarimnadaeiusSarimnadaeius Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Eat a lot of dark leafy greens and meat around her, and speak enthusiastically about donating blood, and how everyone should do it, and you're a terrible person if you don't.

    I bet she's anemic. I'm sorta anemic (more like the average iron deficient idiot who doesn't eat enough spinach) and I chew ice, my jaw pops and I've been known to eat raw pastas and rice from time to time. She might have pica or whatever, anemic people can get that.

    Not that I have officially seen a doctor about this, but it's my stupid self-diagnosis that I don't take very seriously at all.

    If she gets onto the idea of donating blood, they won't accept you if you are anemic, because you run the risk of passing out sooner. I tired once and they turned me back, even though I'm not really anemic at all. I just need more iron.

    Or spray pepper spray in her ice/offer to make her some ice but rinse them in hot peppers.

    Sarimnadaeius on
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    there was one point i had so much iron in my blood that you could smell it if i was bleeding

    not sure if that was a good or bad thing

    tugga on
    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
  • SarimnadaeiusSarimnadaeius Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My blood tastes like iron.

    But I wouldn't be at the brink of passing out when I stood up too fast if I was healthy.

    Sarimnadaeius on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Buy some pungent air freshener. Everytime she start eating, spray an excessive amount around you.

    Everytime she touches something of yours, wipe it off with a sanitary napkin in full view of her.

    Find out where she gets her icecubes from, add some of your own with those fake dead insects.

    Everytime she speaks to you, pretend you're fighting the urge to laugh. Insist she's imagining things.

    When she leaves the room/area, wait for her to come back. Pick up your phone when you hear her coming and start whispering urgently, maybe use her name a few times. Whenever she comes in and can see you, immediately put the phone down. If she asks, you were talking to nobody or say nothing she needs to worry about.

    Falx on


    STEAM
  • GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    touch her forehead with your finger every time she talks to you, then pretend like nothing hapend.

    Grath on
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    For my response I choose to use one of Stale's finest...
    Stale wrote: »
    Over the course of 2 months, each night I broke into my bosses office and sprinkled celery salt on his carpet.

    Each day, the smell got worse and worse. Everytime he walked, it kicked up the smell. Everytime he opened the door, everytime the air vents turned on.

    FOR MONTHS.


    To this day, I'm told he gets ill at the first scent of celery.



    This is what happens when you deny me a long weekend. Learn from your fucking mistakes.
    Stale wrote: »
    The celery salt thing was probably my greatest achievement in life.

    Over 2 months I took a perfectly sane aware confident man, and by the end he was haggard, costantly ill, and smelled celery EVERYWHERE. Even at home.


    "It follows me..... it follows me."


    Of course it did. he was kicking it up onto his pant legs each day. He spent thousands of dollars going to doctors. He was convinced he had a brain tumor.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    If she isn't tech-savvy, unplug her mouse or keyboard. If she leaves to go look for help, quickly plug them back in.

    Falx on


    STEAM
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Give her a little kitten as gift, with a little kitten-explosive in it. When she starts to really love her little kitten, make it explode in front of her eyes

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Tiger Balm

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Observe her for a bit, does she stick pencils in her mouth? Rub chillies on them. Use hand lotion from a dispenser? Unscrew the cap and put garlic extract inside, shake well. Put a small piece of sardine in the mouthpiece of her phone.

    Use lip balm? Unscrew it, dip it in something extremely strong smelling.

    Falx on


    STEAM
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Phonehand should post more.

    The_Scarab on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Falx wrote: »
    Observe her for a bit, does she stick pencils in her mouth? Rub chillies on them. Use hand lotion from a dispenser? Unscrew the cap and put garlic extract inside, shake well. Put a small piece of sardine in the mouthpiece of her phone.

    Use lip balm? Unscrew it, dip it in something extremely strong smelling.
    maybe his butt

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I suppose that could work too... but there's less chance of getting sued for sexual harassment if he doesn't.

    Falx on


    STEAM
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I don't know why you guys keep posting, all the things one fiddy already does are so good.

    #pipe on
    JvTDS.png
    Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
  • RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Volucrisus Aedrius wrote: »
    Tiger Balm


    Ohhhhh, Tiger Bomb.

    RedTide on
    RedTide#1907 on Battle.net
    Come Overwatch with meeeee
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    RedTide wrote: »
    Volucrisus Aedrius wrote: »
    Tiger Balm


    Ohhhhh, Tiger Bomb.

    H5, RedTide

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Volucrisus Aedrius wrote: »
    RedTide wrote: »
    Volucrisus Aedrius wrote: »
    Tiger Balm


    Ohhhhh, Tiger Bomb.

    H5, RedTide

    H5 Volyu the Impaler.

    RedTide on
    RedTide#1907 on Battle.net
    Come Overwatch with meeeee
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Penny Arcade Forums› Social Entropy++