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Meeting a Girl Online: Completely Hopeless?
Zephonate
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Bottom line: I'm in the market for a girlfriend. The only girls I know are taken or not interested. I go to parties whenever my friends clue me in to one that's happening, and I try to get out and meet people as much as possible. But I haven't had anything that might resemble luck.
My question is, for anyone here who might be experienced or simply has information...is meeting a girl online completely hopeless? MySpace, Facebook, other similar sites -is it an idea even worth looking into, or do I have a better chance of becoming pregnant?
And...go.
My question is, for anyone here who might be experienced or simply has information...is meeting a girl online completely hopeless? MySpace, Facebook, other similar sites -is it an idea even worth looking into, or do I have a better chance of becoming pregnant?
And...go.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
Zephonate on
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i would say to try a free site first, because you have nothing to lose, and see if its your thing.
Just don't ignore the girls right in fron of you.
Nope, not hopeless. In fact, I was introduced to my wife by a mutual friend while playing a MUD - we talked constantly for almost two years before actually seeing each other in person.
Like Belruel said, polish your writing skills, find some decent pictures, and don't feel like you have to use a pay service. And obviously, keep in mind that it's still very possible to end up talking to complete nutcases also.
When I was dating, I turned exclusively to vetting people online (this was in 1999), and my rule became that they had to have a picture. This is even more important now since EVERYONE has a digital camera. My rationale was that someone who didn't know how to get a picture online was someone I probably wouldn't be all that into, anyway (and all the women I had dated who didn't have a picture in their profile were not exactly attractive).
And after talking with someone online for a month, only to discover that they're not something I'd want to wake up to in the morning, my next resolution was to push for meet them ASAP. That meant that I only used online to organize the date and meet the person, and then met them online. If it didn't work out, I'd usually just drop it.
Once I resolved to stick to the above, I ended up dating like 4 girls in the course of 2 weeks, including my now-wife. And they were all pretty cute, to boot, which was a pretty nice confidence boost. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but it gets around a lot of the pussyfooting people run into when it comes to online conversation.
Then there's Match.com and eharmony and the like, but they always seemed really pricey to me. Though I guess maybe what get what you pay for.
Girls do get a lot of messages on those sites (with plentyoffish I was getting around 10 a day), so make yours interesting (IE don't say only "Hi how are u?"). Say what you like about her profile, and why you'd like to get to know her better (same stuff in common, etc). It can take a while (my brother used match for several months, went out with several girls, until he found one he decided to start a relationship with). I went into it with the intention of just meeting people and getting out in the area, and it worked well for me.
Then again, I was the one who messaged my now fiancee first. But I met some cool people who ended up being friends as well so it's like it was all win/win.
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
"The odds are pretty good, but the goods are pretty odd"
okcupid, plentyoffish and cupid.com were all good ones. cupid (not okcupid, just cupid) is one where you're technically supposed to pay to contact the person, but everybody just imbeds their emails as far as I can tell (ie "I'm bob at the hot place" near the end of their profile)
It does take a bit of time and hunting around, you gotta separate the wheat from the chaff if you will... some people will lie, some will use pictures from 3 years ago that look nothing like them (though the one dude who did that to me, I still ended up dating for a while, cuz he was still pretty good looking and a nifty dude at the start)
if nothing else, okcupid has some hilarious online tests
I would much rather do this than online dating, but I get the impression that it's hard to find one of these that's not geared towards people in their late 20s, through 30s. I'm either totally out of the age range for the speed dating services near me, or at the very bottom.
The only real way it'd be hopeless is if you don't have a computer and digital camera. There are plenty of fun girls on the internets.
One major piece of advice is to advertise yourself well if you post a online profile. Use nice pictures of yourself, be interesting and don't look or act like a perv.
DUUUUUUUUDDDDDEEEEE!!!!!! Thanks for reminding me! I live near DC and the ratio of women to men on speed dating is awesome, if I become single again I'd give it a try. The ads I saw for speed dating scream for men to join as apparently girls find the public setting much safer and personal than online.
If it helps, I found my wife on okcupid. I think it's a matter of luck and persistence... realize that you may run into a couple (or a few) people who you're utterly disinterested in before you find someone that you connect with.
The key is to meet at a central location where neither of you know where the other lives, in case one of you turns out to be a crazy person.
it's worth noting that females have to put up with the absolute dregs of humanity when on those sites. Not to mention anywhere from 2-50 emails per day.
so 'HI I SAW YOUR PROFILE' is probably a bad opener?
ur hotttt here's a pic of me with no shirt
gettin krunk
I used to think they were weird, but I know other people who met some great matches online, and it's great if you're not much into bars/parties/clubs etc.
She was the 9th person I met in the span of 2 months, I was the first one she'd me through the website.
Or a pic of your penis. That's sure to attract the good ones!
But in all seriousness, sure, you can meet someone online, you don't even have to be desperate! Just go for it.
Congrats to everyone here who's found a spouse or significant other through these methods -actually inspires some hope in all of this for me.
To answer a question that's come up a couple times: Yes, I've asked not only all of my buddies' girlfriends, but also my female friends who are single or dating guys I'm not friends with. Believe it or not, not a one of them knows any girls they could possibly hook me up with. But, then again, I have a few prerequisites before even considering liking a girl.
So, I've been convinced on the worth of giving these sites a try. What I haven't been convinced of (but still holding out hope for) is...what are the chances of me finding a nerdy -but cute- girl who's a hopeless romantic like me, enjoys video games, and possibly anime?
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
It has been my experience that any girl you can pick up off Myspace will be certified nuts. I've hooked up with a few and though they were attractive and generally cool, they were definitely not the best put together. But then again, no one is, so it's more about finding the right kind of crazy for you. One was a depressed ex-Jehovah's Witness that lived with her parents, another was a violent college student with an eating disorder and the third was a nurse that compulsively and without joy slept with doctors because of what I can only assume were daddy issues. It wasn't all bad and was genuinely fun for a while, but it all got old. I'm sure they don't have positive things to say about me either, ha.
Honestly, the best places to pick up girls:
Coffee shops, libraries, book stores, thrift stores and grocery stores. Seriously.
nerdy girls are more likely to be on the internets than in scummy bars. Or at least, we're more open to talking to guys via internets than at the bar. Seriously, give it a shot. If you don't meet someone right, well, you've wasted some time and that's about it (assuming you're smart enough to not bother paying for the pay sites)
People say this, but I'll never understand how the grocery store connection works well, or better than your average stranger meet-up. But book stores and coffee shops definitely are good for allowing you a glimpse into their interests.
Since it sounds like you're going to go through with it (And no reason why not) make sure to post plenty of pictures of yourself(and not just the stereotypical myspace pic) and make your profile interesting and that it stands out.
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
My area hasn't given me any luck, but then I turn to look at Dallas (Where I'll be moving to) and it's filled with cool looking people.
Fixed. At least in the LA area. Then again, we're pretty shallow here.