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Real stories that really happened to you. Really.

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Posts

  • B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Neville you are terrible at this.

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    That was essentially the point, you terrible bee

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
  • B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I am the worst bee.

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aerodynamics and propulsion and propulsion aren't exactly standard metrics.

    Label on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Poorochondriac on
  • CasperCasper __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I'm hatin'

    THUNDERDOME

    Two men enter.

    One man leave.

    Casper on
    CasperSig2.jpg
    Amazon Wish List
  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Hobnail on
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  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    The guy simply had mistaken him for his old high school buddy Jim Faggot and was relieved to finally be able to return the tennis ball he borrowed from him in 10th grade.

    Nads on
    3c5d24e9-b7f2-44ba-bbf2-3b4658af70bd.jpg
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Shit like that happens to me fairly frequently, so I can't really say "randomly."

    But I don't know what about me incited it.

    Poorochondriac on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Nads wrote: »
    The guy simply had mistaken him for his old high school buddy Jim Faggot and was relieved to finally be able to return the tennis ball he borrowed from him in 10th grade.

    Best answer

    Poorochondriac on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Man I was driving down the road the other day. I look out the window and see a bunch of sticks falling towards this kid's head as he is walking out of the grocery store.

    He looked like an intelligent chap, so I yelled out "Faggot!" because I figured he would know the olde english term for sticks. he just looked at me like I insulted him, so I grabbed the closest thing at hand, a tennis ball. luckily, my aim was dead on and I knocked the sticks away from this guys head.

    I probably saved his life, but I'm out a tennis ball.

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Shit like that happens to me fairly frequently, so I can't really say "randomly."

    But I don't know what about me incited it.

    Puzzling. Carry a gun.

    Hobnail on
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  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    I've had a few car related incidents happen whilst driving with friends. None of which were my fault.

    Once while driving around with my friend Will, we were stopped at a stoplight when we saw this big meathead looking fucker stomping up to the crosswalk. He proceeds to punch the crosswalk button like it was his girlfriend's face, so Will hangs out the passenger window and yells, "Asssssssssssshoooooooooole." The light turns green and we proceed through the intersection and into a shopping center. About 5 minutes and a quarter of a mile later, we stop at a stopsign and I look out the driver's side window just in time to see Jocko come running up and punch it (not hard enough to break it, mind you.) He then proceeds to back up for about fifteen feet to the curb while holding his arms out like he was saying, "What now, bitch?" This can only mean that he spent 5 minutes of his day chasing my car just so he could hurt his own hand and then back down from a fight that wasn't happening.

    Another time, I had my friend Donnie in the car. He was eating some Pizza Hut breadsticks, but didn't want the marinara sauce, so the little cup was just sitting on my dash. As we're driving, he sees this group of middle school kids walking down the street just after school let out. He turns to me, goes, "These kids are fucked," and proceeds to hurl the marinara cup at their backs. It nails one of them and explodes and all I can do is stare at him with a combination of shock and amusement and keep driving.

    Nads on
    3c5d24e9-b7f2-44ba-bbf2-3b4658af70bd.jpg
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Nads wrote: »

    Another time, I had my friend Donnie in the car. He was eating some Pizza Hut breadsticks, but didn't want the marinara sauce, so the little cup was just sitting on my dash. As we're driving, he sees this group of middle school kids walking down the street just after school let out. He turns to me, goes, "These kids are fucked," and proceeds to hurl the marinara cup at their backs. It nails one of them and explodes and all I can do is stare at him with a combination of shock and amusement and keep driving.


    wow

    your friend is a piece of shit

    that's a really fucked up thing to do to someone

    Shorty on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Nads wrote: »

    Another time, I had my friend Donnie in the car. He was eating some Pizza Hut breadsticks, but didn't want the marinara sauce, so the little cup was just sitting on my dash. As we're driving, he sees this group of middle school kids walking down the street just after school let out. He turns to me, goes, "These kids are fucked," and proceeds to hurl the marinara cup at their backs. It nails one of them and explodes and all I can do is stare at him with a combination of shock and amusement and keep driving.


    thats a pretty asshole thing to do

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Does your friend Donnie keep a lot of tennis balls in his car

    Poorochondriac on
  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    Hey, I told you I was innocent in these acts.

    Nads on
    3c5d24e9-b7f2-44ba-bbf2-3b4658af70bd.jpg
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    great

    donnie's still a shithead

    Shorty on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    my brother can't stop nutting on stuff

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    i would have stopped the car and apologized for my piece of shit friend

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    my brother can't stop nutting on stuff

    wait what

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    He does have a tendency to throw things from cars though. Another time, we were driving and he saw this college couple making out next to a moving van, so he yelled, "LOVE SUCKS," out the window and hurls a stale Krispy Kreme at them. It smacked into the van right next to the guy's head.

    Nads on
    3c5d24e9-b7f2-44ba-bbf2-3b4658af70bd.jpg
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    my brother can't stop nutting on stuff

    wait what

    my brother can't not tell stories of him fucking his ex without sounding as crass as hell

    i remember him regaling some folks in vent of his tales

    he was all "ONE TIME I FUCKED MY GIRL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND NUTTED ALL OVER HER BUTT. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WIPE IT OFF. SHE GOT BACK IN THE CAR AND WE WENT HOME."

    jesus fucking christ

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Nads wrote: »
    He does have a tendency to throw things from cars though. Another time, we were driving and he saw this college couple making out next to a moving van, so he yelled, "LOVE SUCKS," out the window and hurls a stale Krispy Kreme at them. It smacked into the van right next to the guy's head.

    I would just stop the car

    wait for the inevitable confrontation

    and let nature take its course

    Shorty on
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    my brother can't stop nutting on stuff

    wait what

    my brother can't not tell stories of him fucking his ex without sounding as crass as hell

    i remember him regaling some folks in vent of his tales

    he was all "ONE TIME I FUCKED MY GIRL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND NUTTED ALL OVER HER BUTT. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WIPE IT OFF. SHE GOT BACK IN THE CAR AND WE WENT HOME."

    jesus fucking christ

    wow

    how unbearably uncouth

    Shorty on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    larbear is just real

    real as hell

    he does not care if you are uncomfortable with the prospect of him possibly nutting on your clothes

    you better hide them or he will

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Shorty wrote: »
    Nads wrote: »
    He does have a tendency to throw things from cars though. Another time, we were driving and he saw this college couple making out next to a moving van, so he yelled, "LOVE SUCKS," out the window and hurls a stale Krispy Kreme at them. It smacked into the van right next to the guy's head.

    I would just stop the car

    wait for the inevitable confrontation

    and let nature take its course

    seriously

    let him get his ass beat once or twice and he'll stop doing that stupid shit

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    larbear is just real

    real as hell

    he does not care if you are uncomfortable with the prospect of him possibly nutting on your clothes

    you better hide them or he will

    why is my tie all crusted together?

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    my brother can't stop nutting on stuff

    wait what

    my brother can't not tell stories of him fucking his ex without sounding as crass as hell

    i remember him regaling some folks in vent of his tales

    he was all "ONE TIME I FUCKED MY GIRL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND NUTTED ALL OVER HER BUTT. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WIPE IT OFF. SHE GOT BACK IN THE CAR AND WE WENT HOME."

    jesus fucking christ

    and then the ultimate hustler poked out of the ashtray. "the only nuts you be busting are your granddaddy's all over your chin" and he was like damn.

    Poorochondriac on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    CrackedLens wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    my brother can't stop nutting on stuff

    wait what

    my brother can't not tell stories of him fucking his ex without sounding as crass as hell

    i remember him regaling some folks in vent of his tales

    he was all "ONE TIME I FUCKED MY GIRL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND NUTTED ALL OVER HER BUTT. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WIPE IT OFF. SHE GOT BACK IN THE CAR AND WE WENT HOME."

    jesus fucking christ

    and then the ultimate hustler poked out of the ashtray. "the only nuts you be busting are your granddaddy's all over your chin" and he was like damn.

    now we're reaching

    but alas, i can't disdain proper use

    i approve of this hustling

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    Muse Among Men wrote: »
    Auntie Shibby wrote: »
    Muse Among Men wrote: »
    Auntie Shibby wrote: »
    Muse, it sounds like both you and your mother are bitches.

    The shot thing I can understand, except for the slapping.
    You crying afterwards I understand, except for screming to the other children that 'it hurt'

    No one likes TJ, it is one of the worst places in the world to go as a child. Your mom tricking you is shitty.
    You flat out telling the TJ cops why you don't want to be there, also shitty.

    Nah, she's coo'. I love my momma like I love muffin-tops.

    Not like the crummy bottom part. Ugh.

    Can I have the bottom part of your muffins? I enjoy those more than the top.

    You really like 'em? I always just bit off the fluffy tops and gave the rest to the pet.
    Yes, I like the soft and moist part of the muffin.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Top 'o the muffin to you

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    I see the appeal of the top of the muffin, I just don't understand why people hate the bottoms so much.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • sdrawkcaB emaNsdrawkcaB emaN regular
    edited May 2008
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Shit like that happens to me fairly frequently, so I can't really say "randomly."

    But I don't know what about me incited it.

    don't you live in LA

    To live in that city and still stand out there and really make people go "holy shit that is one gay looking dude"

    i mean you gotta be doing something

    sdrawkcaB emaN on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    sdrawkcaB emaN wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Shit like that happens to me fairly frequently, so I can't really say "randomly."

    But I don't know what about me incited it.

    don't you live in LA

    To live in that city and still stand out there and really make people go "holy shit that is one gay looking dude"

    i mean you gotta be doing something

    All depends on the neighborhood. If I lived in West Hollywood, I wouldn't ever get any shit. I would, however, get hit on even more than usual.

    But where I live, there's apparently a lot of jackasses or something. Every time I've been harassed (Including the time I got mugged), it has been within three blocks of my house.

    Poorochondriac on
  • sdrawkcaB emaNsdrawkcaB emaN regular
    edited May 2008
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    sdrawkcaB emaN wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Shit like that happens to me fairly frequently, so I can't really say "randomly."

    But I don't know what about me incited it.

    don't you live in LA

    To live in that city and still stand out there and really make people go "holy shit that is one gay looking dude"

    i mean you gotta be doing something

    All depends on the neighborhood. If I lived in West Hollywood, I wouldn't ever get any shit. I would, however, get hit on even more than usual.

    But where I live, there's apparently a lot of jackasses or something. Every time I've been harassed (Including the time I got mugged), it has been within three blocks of my house.

    where the hell do you live

    sdrawkcaB emaN on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    sdrawkcaB emaN wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    sdrawkcaB emaN wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    As I was walking to the grocery store yesterday, some jackass leaned out of a car driving by, shouted "Faggot," and threw a tennis ball at my head.

    Joke's on him, because now he's out a tennis ball.

    Randomly, or were you wearing a silly hat or something?

    Shit like that happens to me fairly frequently, so I can't really say "randomly."

    But I don't know what about me incited it.

    don't you live in LA

    To live in that city and still stand out there and really make people go "holy shit that is one gay looking dude"

    i mean you gotta be doing something

    All depends on the neighborhood. If I lived in West Hollywood, I wouldn't ever get any shit. I would, however, get hit on even more than usual.

    But where I live, there's apparently a lot of jackasses or something. Every time I've been harassed (Including the time I got mugged), it has been within three blocks of my house.

    where the hell do you live

    west harlem, LA apparently

    PiptheFair on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The one time I was mugged it was right down the street from my house. Shit, I could see it while I got punched.

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    Man, I never get mugged.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • sdrawkcaB emaNsdrawkcaB emaN regular
    edited May 2008
    Auntie Shibby wrote: »
    Man, I never get mugged.

    i've never been mugged either

    which is weird because I live in LA and weigh 140 lbs

    sdrawkcaB emaN on
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