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You're not the father!

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Posts

  • DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    COME ON CHARLIE, THOSE KIDS DICKS ARE BIGGER THAN THOSE SAUSAGES!

    Dislexic on
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  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    that was such an awful movie

    Skull Man on
  • RanxRanx Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    how could he honestly not know

    that one cracks me up every time

    Ranx on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    he might've just been really dense

    or he could have been in denial

    like a serious delusion

    TheySlashThem on
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    "Oh no he's not black, he just has a skin discoloration"

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    surprise

    Qorzm on
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    "he's just a really big Al Jolson fan"

    Wallhitter on
  • NadsNads Bob Ducca Asleep in a cul-de-sac.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    Look at the guy and then see if you still wonder how he could be that dense. He looks like he's the result of three generations of inbreeding.

    Nads on
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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    His parents couldn't afford a fridge, so they just coated all of their food in lead to keep it from rotting.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • RhymnocerousRhymnocerous Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    My favorite is all the people laughing at his breakdown in the audience.
    Seriously, in everyday life, that kind of situation would fucking suck. But the fact that they air it all on national television just makes it absolutely ridiculous.
    I feel no sympathy for his pain. Because the place where my heart should be is nothing more than a deep, dark hole.

    Rhymnocerous on
    "Do," Great, I get to disturb this guy!
    "Not," SHIT! I need to read -FASTER-!
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  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Framling wrote: »
    Mad Iron wrote: »
    Dislexic wrote: »
    Mad Iron wrote: »
    Okay, well let me put it this way. If the father thinks he's the 2+ year old child's natural father, and divorces the mother because he finds out she's a cheating whore, then he finds out the child isn't actually his, he still has to pay child support to the mother. The California courts still consider him the child's father.

    Trust me.

    I'm pretty sure there's an option to petition for a paternity test to clear you of any obligation. It's a matter of being lured into marriage fraudulently

    I'm not certain in the situation you described, but after the child hits 2 years the "father" basically loses all his rights to be clear of monetary obligations if the mother wishes for child support.

    I know that if you had been married for years prior and this happens, what I said is true.

    This is a really fun conversation now by the way. And here I was just trying to add some helpful information. I guess I learned MY lesson. Hehehe.

    Calm down, Susie Snowflake. You just didn't explain very well the first time, fuck.

    Anyway, the flaw with this is that more often than not on these shows, nobody's married to anybody.

    Or everyone is married to everyone.

    Bloods End on
  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    has maury ever had a show where the man was all innocent and the woman was a complete ass yet

    tsplitter on
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  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You know what?

    I am the father. what you wanna fight about it?

    Bloods End on
  • tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bloods End wrote: »
    You know what?

    I am the father. what you wanna fight about it?

    next week on american gladiators

    tsplitter on
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  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Studies show that at least 75% of women have hearing problems.

    This alarming statistic proves that most of the time, talking to them will not be effective.

    That's when you gotta hit a bitch.

    Graves on
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Statistics show that 50% of the time, it works every time.

    Bloods End on
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    couldn't even quote it properly.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    How about I fuck you up right proper? Would that be properly enough for you?

    Bloods End on
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    bet you couldn't even do that.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Has not hitting the bitch been working?

    I mean, scientifically speaking, has not hitting the bitch been producing the desired effect?

    Graves on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    tsplitter wrote: »
    has maury ever had a show where the man was all innocent and the woman was a complete ass yet

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=z3rskbp3zao

    Butters on
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  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    aahahahahhaa

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    that ending was so satisfying

    Kovak on
  • the Professorthe Professor PONY ROMNEY DOES NOT CARE PONY ROMNEY WILL CUT YOUR FUNDINGRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Butters wrote: »
    tsplitter wrote: »
    has maury ever had a show where the man was all innocent and the woman was a complete ass yet

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=z3rskbp3zao


    it's an old video but still every bit as intensely awesome as when i first saw it

    bitch got owned

    the Professor on
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    I think it'd be great if it somehow turned out that the little girl wasn't even hers.

    Auntie Shibby on
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  • jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    next week on Maury

    woman: "that chille aint mine!!"
    Maury: "but Shaniqua, your name is on the birth certificate, and here's a photo of you 8 months pregnant"
    woman: "what evvvaaaaaaa!!"

    jwalk on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    oh man

    that really was satisfying

    I feel so bad for the girl though

    she's already four years old and her mom is appearantly a maury regular

    TheySlashThem on
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    yeah I caught that

    right above the bottom caption it said something like 14th Appearance on Maury!

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    appearantly that dude was number eleven

    I think the record for paternity tests by the same woman on a talk show (Maury, natch) was nineteen

    TheySlashThem on
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    TDoT we can break that record

    only if you want to try

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2008
    I think it'd be great if it somehow turned out that the little girl wasn't even hers.

    Turns out she sat on some girl at McDonalds who got wedged in her ass for a day and a half. Bitch almost flushed.

    Larlar on
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  • EtchEtch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    She ran like a bat out of hell too.

    Etch on
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    Larlar wrote: »
    I think it'd be great if it somehow turned out that the little girl wasn't even hers.

    Turns out she sat on some girl at McDonalds who got wedged in her ass for a day and a half. Bitch almost flushed.
    Nah, she's just some crazy ass bitch who kidnapped a child while having sex with tons of men just get 15 minutes of fame.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Yum. Good old fashioned lead and mayonnaise sandwich.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    TDoT we can break that record

    only if you want to try

    winky etc

    TheySlashThem on
  • OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    alright be over there in a minute

    OmegaTofuNinja on
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  • jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    the sad part is that kid, he's gonna grow up and someone is gonna show him the YouTube...

    "hey Jim check it out, here's a video of your mom all happy that she "busted" this dude, like she caught him robbing her house or something... and the dude acting like he won the lottery when he found out he ain't your daddy.."

    jwalk on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    that has to suck when there is documented video evidence of nineteen dudes your mom thought might be your father but weren't

    TheySlashThem on
  • EtchEtch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    And it's not like she's even attractive or anything

    Etch on
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