Options

Get it, get it, get it, get it. Get it. Keep the [Chat] rolling, never wait a minute

1356740

Posts

  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    MikeMan wrote: »
    Elki wrote: »
    MikeMan wrote: »
    Elki wrote: »
    Most disturbing Countdown ever. Good God.
    olberman?

    Mini-Me has a sex-tape out. And they were showing a bit of it in the celebrity gossip section.

    oh my god

    *googles*

    nexuscrawler on
  • Options
    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    MikeMan wrote: »
    Elki wrote: »
    MikeMan wrote: »
    Elki wrote: »
    Most disturbing Countdown ever. Good God.
    olberman?

    Mini-Me has a sex-tape out. And they were showing a bit of it in the celebrity gossip section.

    oh my god

    *googles*

    *faps*

    MikeMan on
  • Options
    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    hay anyone want summa dis martian asparagus?

    i'll give you a discount. 20% off. now it's only 250 thousand trillion giga-dollars

    MikeMan on
  • Options
    Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Today, should I kick ASCII and take hostnames or kick ASCII and take nameservers?

    Apothe0sis on
  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I hate you mike

    I keep using unneccessay S's in words like mans

    all your fault

    nexuscrawler on
  • Options
    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I have such a hard-on for football.

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • Options
    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I hate you mike

    I keep using unneccessay S's in words like mans

    all your fault

    IM IN UR DISTRICT

    REPREZENTIN MAH CONSTITUENTZ!

    MikeMan on
  • Options
    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    and "mans" is the greatest word in the english language

    MikeMan on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    To: NYPD
    Re: Police Officer

    Thank you for taking the time to review my application. As you will note from my resume, I do not live in New York City, and I should mention that I have only ever been there once, physically.

    When I was there, I felt overwhelming deja-vu. When I stopped to visit the public library, I could see Ray and Peter and Egon come running down those steps. So, I guess when I say that I've never lived there, I'm lying. I've lived in New York City my whole life, in movies, on television. Yours is the city that invented and destroyed the definition of the police officer. No, of JUSTICE.

    New York City police are who my political friends mean when they say "even a good person is still a bad cop." You, not the LAPD. Even if they don't realize it. Fuck the LAPD. They get the reputation because they've come up in a city obsessed with Hollywood. They're used to smiling for the cameras. You, the cops at NYPD aren't interested in being poster boys. You're interested in a more lasting sort of glory. You have a chance to really be heroes.

    And you become a hero by standing up for something, for justice, for retribution. I grew up watching movies where justice came at the end of a stick, and not through government sponsored therapy for sex criminals. Those movies were you. Those movies were New York City. I have been working out. My father bought me these big thick law books, and I have been using them as weights ever since the attack.

    Edward Gibbon wrote, in The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, that "as long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst for military glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters." He may not have agreed, but he could see it was true. Nobody really believes that some tree hugging "criminals are people too" asshole will save us. Maybe they really will, of course. Maybe it's understanding and compassion that will bring our world together. Logically, it might even be more likely to work than our way. It doesn't matter. Our way is what people FEEL is right.

    When I was swarmed by a group of fifteen year old girls, beaten and taunted sexually, I thought they would kill me. I felt helpless and alone. When they left me there, broken, on the side of the road, I didn't know what to do. The "police" in my hometown took my report and talked about how these girls needed to be found and counseled. When they caught them, I wrote down each and every name, and one year later I began to sneak into their homes at night to pistol whip them in their sleep.

    In the world I grew up in, there would have been no investigation into that. There would have been no crime. The little girl would have come down to the police station and it would be me and her and Clint Eastwood in a room. She would say "I'm just a little girl and he attacked me in my sleep!" and Clint would have squinted his eyes at me and looked at her and said "You looks okay to me, maybe he didn't hit you hard enough?" In the world I want, there's no slap on the wrist. The closest you can get is pistol whipped. I think you understand.

    Yours,

    Joey Comeau

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Church is just creepy enough to be NYPD

    nexuscrawler on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    D'awwww. <3

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    MikeMan wrote: »
    and "mans" is the greatest word in the english language

    I dunno, I'm partial to cock-gobbler.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Okay, so the creator basically gave me a vague penis as the base of a new creation.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • Options
    MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Church wrote: »
    MikeMan wrote: »
    and "mans" is the greatest word in the english language

    I dunno, I'm partial to cock-gobbler.

    ehehehehe

    MikeMan on
  • Options
    Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • Options
    stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I’ve assembled an ‘invisible bicycle’ character.

    Still no penises.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • Options
    TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    That was awesome. It started sane but became so much more.

    TeaSpoon on
  • Options
    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Oh man.

    Talking about furry sex in the 4e thread in Critical Failures.

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • Options
    TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.

    Wait, is that the one who you had been dating forever and ever and then suddenly left you for no good reason?

    You're a better man than I am. I would be so very angry. And depressed and sad. And then angry at myself for being depressed and sad. And then angry at her for making me depressed and sad. Talk about setting me up with Japanese girls would sound, in my ears, manipulative and evil.

    Like I said, you're a better man than I am.

    TeaSpoon on
  • Options
    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Last night I dreamed of suing a senator who was saying GTA had a "rape scene" in it.

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • Options
    DynagripDynagrip Break me a million hearts HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    Church is just creepy enough to be NYPD

    That's from the A Softer World dude.

    Dynagrip on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    TeaSpoon wrote: »
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.

    Wait, is that the one who you had been dating forever and ever and then suddenly left you for no good reason?

    You're a better man than I am. I would be so very angry. And depressed and sad. And then angry at myself for being depressed and sad. And then angry at her for making me depressed and sad. Talk about setting me up with Japanese girls would sound, in my ears, manipulative and evil.

    Like I said, you're a better man than I am.

    I think he did the depressed and sad thing, too. You're both terrible mans.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.
    Wow, that seems really strange. Think you'll go for it?

    Bama on
  • Options
    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'd be really, really mad at your ex, Hippie.

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • Options
    TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Church wrote: »
    TeaSpoon wrote: »
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.

    Wait, is that the one who you had been dating forever and ever and then suddenly left you for no good reason?

    You're a better man than I am. I would be so very angry. And depressed and sad. And then angry at myself for being depressed and sad. And then angry at her for making me depressed and sad. Talk about setting me up with Japanese girls would sound, in my ears, manipulative and evil.

    Like I said, you're a better man than I am.

    I think he did the depressed and sad thing, too. You're both terrible mans.

    Yeah, but apparently, he did it in a matter of days if not hours. I would hold my anger deep in my soul, carefully feeding it with tidbits of information and resentment. I would allow it to grow into hate. And then into rage. I would let it take me over, consume all that I am until the hate defines me. I would lash out at innocent people. I would do horrible things.

    TeaSpoon on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Like I said, you're both terrible mans.

    See, I just lash out at innocent people for no reason. Like, always. So when I get depressed nobody can criticise me for being depressed. Just for being a dick.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    DynagripDynagrip Break me a million hearts HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    Bama wrote: »
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.
    Wow, that seems really strange. Think you'll go for it?

    That's a terrible idea and I'd say some weird shit is up. How long were y'all apart before she broke up with you by phone?

    Dynagrip on
  • Options
    Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    TeaSpoon wrote: »
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.

    Wait, is that the one who you had been dating forever and ever and then suddenly left you for no good reason?

    You're a better man than I am. I would be so very angry. And depressed and sad. And then angry at myself for being depressed and sad. And then angry at her for making me depressed and sad. Talk about setting me up with Japanese girls would sound, in my ears, manipulative and evil.

    Like I said, you're a better man than I am.

    No I'm not. I'm normally angry. Like, anger is my equilibrium. I've been horribly depressed since it happened, and I don't get angry or vengeful when I'm depressed, just sad and pathetic and emo. I almost listened to Swiss Army Romance yesterday, but then I remembered how much I hated Dashboard Confessional and the people that listened to them.

    So instead I'm just confused.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • Options
    japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    OK, it was an appallingly bad idea to watch "Alone in the dark" all over again.

    On the plus side, I am by now fairly drunk.

    japan on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    No I'm not. I'm normally angry. Like, anger is my equilibrium.

    :^:

    Asswipe.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Asswipe.

    Not Asswhipe.

    You foreign tard.

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Whatever, you faggots add unnecessary consonants to fucking everything.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Big day today. Got a haircut like George on the cover of Let It Be, and my now-ex Sarah is trying to hook me up with her cute Japanese friend that's been crushing on me since we started dating.

    So confusing.
    Wow, that seems really strange. Think you'll go for it?

    That's a terrible idea and I'd say some weird shit is up. How long were y'all apart before she broke up with you by phone?

    Less than a month. This was the conversation today.

    "Why don't you take somebody to [your friend's] wedding? What about [cute Japanese girl we've known for years that tried to get me to break up with you so she could have you], why don't I have her call you?"
    "No. No, I don't think I like that idea at all."
    "Why not?"
    "Because you broke up with me a few days ago and I don't really feel like being gregarious or social at all?"
    "But she likes you, and she's an atheist."

    And suddenly a rush of realizations hit me.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • Options
    TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I thought you saying mans instead of men was some obscure reference, inside joke, or just irony.

    It's not, is it?

    TeaSpoon on
  • Options
    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Whatever Church. Your letters even look drunk all the time.

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    And suddenly a rush of realizations hit me.

    Was any of them "I like the cock"?

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Whatever Church. Your letters even look drunk all the time.

    I don't see how being inherently drunk by nature can possibly be a bad thing.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    TeaSpoon wrote: »
    I thought you saying mans instead of men was some obscure reference, inside joke, or just irony.

    It's not, is it?

    As far as I know, it's usually used in the phrase "makin' mans" in reference to anything from an RTS with unit production to building and painting WH and WH40K units.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • Options
    Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I continue waiter training tomorrow

    Soon I will deliver quiche to old people

    Casual Eddy on
  • Options
    TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Church wrote: »
    Whatever, you faggouts add unnecessary consounants to fucking everythinge.

    TL DR on
This discussion has been closed.