Who the Hell Reads Archie?

Hexmage-PA

I was just reading an article about the literary classic "The Punisher Meets Archie" when a thought crossed my mind: who reads Archie?

Archie Comics has other titles like Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Sonic the Hedgehog, titles that assume people would be much more interested in. Archie is also the only comic I've ever seen in digest form sitting on the racks in check-out lines, chilling out with TV Guide and Reader's Digest.

I also can't for the life of me imagine a guy that frequents a comic shop to ask "Has the new Archie come in yet?" If you're that guy, please speak up!

Servo

i don't even think my comic shop sells archie. i mostly see it at grocery stores.

Hexmage-PA

I just checked Wikipedia, and yes, there are tons of Archie-related pages. I still can't imagine what kind of person an Archie nerd would be, though. It just seems so bizarre.

DMAC

I think a ton of kids went through those phases of reading Archie for a year or so (7 or 8?). I used to work at a library and there's an age where kids just devour stuff like Archie, Garfield, the Asterix/Tintin books... Then they realize that they're basically reading the same thing over and over and move on to something else like the Goosebumps books.

I used to like the Harvey comics too at that age. I still want to be Richie Rich.

Servo

goosebumps. now there's something that's not repetitive at all.


p.s. tintin is awesome dmac. why tha hatin

Silvoculous

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

I also can't for the life of me imagine a guy that frequents a comic shop to ask "Has the new Archie come in yet?" If you're that guy, please speak up!

I had one at work a couple months ago, and read through it because 1. I was bored and 2. I hadn't touched one since I was little.

It was alright.

wirehead26

Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog is the only thing I read from them, and that's mainly because of Ian Flynn and Tracy Yardley.

DMAC

Servo wrote: »

goosebumps. now there's something that's not repetitive at all.


p.s. tintin is awesome dmac. why tha hatin

No hate for Tintin, Asterix is fantastic too. They just fell into that category of books that kids would take out in batches and go through in a couple of weeks.

If you want repetitive, one summer I read over a hundred of the Hardy Boys novels. Somewhere near the end of my fixation, my dad asked me if either of the brothers had been knocked out in the one I was reading and I realized they had... and in the one before... and the one before that. He pointed out that they probably had brain damage from being knocked unconscious so often.

Servo

i read my share of hardy boys books. the only plot i remember with any clarity is a more modern one where there's a video game so advanced that it mimics reality and the boys have to solve a mystery in this fantasy rpg dungeon. either joe or frank (i suspect it was joe) had to learn a little fancy swordplay because, y'know, in the fantasy rpg dungeon game, slicing up a motherfucker is totally legal and depending on the motherfucker, enhances their standing as dorky dudley do-rights. anyway, he learns this sword move that's described as being like, remedial sword tricks 101 by the person who teaches joe (or frank), and it will be useless against anyone who has a little sword training, or at least three limbs. it involves making a "W" shape in the air with your sword, thereby disarming your opponent, in some manner. he tries it on some goon and totally whips this idiot's ass, it's great. then, at the end of the book, frank (but probably joe) is fighting the biggest baddest dork in the dungeon, the evil nerd who did all of the murders or whatever. joe tries out his slick-ass sword trick and the guy disarms joe and proceeds to laugh that he tried such an amateur trick on his bepimpled majesty. that's about all i remember, so as far as i know he killed them and that was the last book.

FCD

Seems the Hardy Boys learned the hardest lesson of all: You die in the game, you die for real!

The Joker

Now that you mention it, Archie has his own god damn shelf at my comic store. Not a full one, but a little mini-shelf, with all the Archie brand comics. Although about 2/3's of them are Archie (the character) related, being either the title book, Betty and Veronica, Jughead, or whatever the fuck else there is. And I don't recall seeing anyone ever buy one. I'll ask the guy who works there tomorrow, and see if it's just little kids, or if there are any college age guys like myself who are just fucking hardcore into Archie.

Servo

The Joker wrote: »

Now that you mention it, Archie has his own god damn shelf at my comic store. Not a full one, but a little mini-shelf, with all the Archie brand comics. Although about 2/3's of them are Archie (the character) related, being either the title book, Betty and Veronica, Jughead, or whatever the fuck else there is. And I don't recall seeing anyone ever buy one. I'll ask the guy who works there tomorrow, and see if it's just little kids, or if there are any college age guys like myself who are just fucking hardcore into Archie.

haha when you say it like that suddenly i can imagine exactly where it is in my shop too. that's weird, i was totally blanking on it.

well, they really have only stocked one punisher comic over there before, so i guess i don't browse it much

Whippy

I have a monthly subscription to both archie and betty/veronica digest

I am in no way joking here

The Joker

WhipstitchZombie wrote: »

I have a monthly subscription to both archie and betty/veronica digest

I am in no way joking here

Would you mind telling us all why?

Wildcat

I don't think Archie is exported to the UK, or if it was I don't ever recall seeing it. Saying that, we had the Dandy and the Beano to make up for it.

BigDes

Wildcat wrote: »

I don't think Archie is exported to the UK, or if it was I don't ever recall seeing it. Saying that, we had the Dandy and the Beano to make up for it.

You can get it in WHSmiths, its normally with the fishing magasines.

Wildcat

Ha, we didn't even have a WH Smiths here until about 2005 :P

MC Mystery

I've never read Archie, but a kid I hated who went to gradeschool with me collected Archie comics.

CoJoeTheLawyer

Archie is one of those odd cultural phenomenons that seemingily has zero fan support, but will never die

Forar

I never really read Archie, though I did snag a few as a distraction once when I was a kid and was going through a rough time. It's weird, I never had the slightest inkling of interest in the series/characters, but under stress, I guess something colourful and impressively non-offensive seemed appealing.

That said, I read in droves tons of things mentioned here; garfield, hardy boys, the three investigators, peanuts, etc. The only thing that really stuck with me until this day would be Calvin & Hobbes.

Koopin Krackerz

The only time I ever read an Archie comic was when I was younger and read the Sonic comics. They were pretty good. Haven't picked one up though since the 4th grade. The rest of the Archie comics just didn't look appealing at all.

SageinaRage

I'm guessing that Archie comics are a lot like blue sky games on the wii. People really into games/comics don't really see the appeal, but I bet they sell a lot fucking better than the stuff they do like.

CyberJackal

I think people are just waiting for the issue where Archie finally manages to talk Betty and Veronica into a three-way.

Forar

"From the creators of Punisher Max, get ready for new levels of debauchery and sin from... Archie Max"

Jughead beats someone to death with a cheeseburger.

Archie does a line of coke off the teacher's desk while the whole class watches.

Utterly gratuitous Betty/Veronica shower scene that takes a full trade to finish (unlike most readers, who are probably done by page 4).

Wildcat

Oh, another Archie / Punisher crossover?

emnmnme

Forar wrote: »

"From the creators of Punisher Max, get ready for new levels of debauchery and sin from... Archie Max"

Jughead beats someone to death with a cheeseburger.

Archie does a line of coke off the teacher's desk while the whole class watches.

Utterly gratuitous Betty/Veronica shower scene that takes a full trade to finish (unlike most readers, who are probably done by page 4).

I would buy this for the cheeseburger scene alone.

Jughead and Popeye's Wimpy ... cage match to the death.

psycojester

Utterly gratuitous Betty/Veronica shower scene that takes a full trade to finish (unlike most readers, who are probably done by page 4).

Could be worse, Frank Miller could be writing, and we all know that would end in whores.

sportzboytjw

We pick up an Archie every now and again at the grocery store. They're good poop-reading.

Forar

Wildcat wrote: »

Oh, another Archie / Punisher crossover?

... what?

*wikipedia*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Meets_The_Punisher

jacripe

Forar, fuckin genius!

Who reads Archie? Kids whos moms think most comics are the devil. Seriously, me and my brother fucked upa first printing of Eastman and Laird's TMNT because of the violence and swears... I could fucking kill myself.
I actually owned that crossover as it was my favourite hero in a format acceptable by my mom. I still have the sneaking suspicion my mom threw away my Punisher 2099 #1 because of the violence.

The Joker

Archie Meets The Punisher is hillarious, by the way. That's the one Archie comic I do actually own (other than some old Sonic the Hedgehogs from when I was a kid).

Hexmage-PA

Here's the "review" I read: Riverdale and the NRA?

Jughead meets WOLVERINE

Hexmage-PA

jacripe wrote: »

Forar, fuckin genius!

Who reads Archie? Kids whos moms think most comics are the devil. Seriously, me and my brother fucked upa first printing of Eastman and Laird's TMNT because of the violence and swears... I could fucking kill myself.
I actually owned that crossover as it was my favourite hero in a format acceptable by my mom. I still have the sneaking suspicion my mom threw away my Punisher 2099 #1 because of the violence.

Well, if she has a problem with violence then she might need to throw out her Bible, too. The Old Testament in particular has some pretty grisly (and by grisly I mean awesome) descriptions of murder and assassination.

Servo

sportzboytjw wrote: »

We pick up an Archie every now and again at the grocery store. They're good poop-reading.

i have marvel adventures and jlu comics for that

The Lovely Bastard

but those are good all the time readin

GR_Zombie

sportzboytjw wrote: »

We pick up an Archie every now and again at the grocery store. They're good poop-reading.

Anything is good poop-reading, provided you have a comfy toilet seat. My bathroom is where most of my reading gets done.

sportzboytjw

Yea, but these are like Reader's Digest and just sit on the back of the toilet and crap.

jacripe

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

Well, if she has a problem with violence then she might need to throw out her Bible, too. The Old Testament in particular has some pretty grisly (and by grisly I mean awesome) descriptions of murder and assassination.

Yeah, the immorality of the bible is what drove me away, and I've had religious discussion with my mom since I left the church, but you're not seriously suggesting I try to take my mom's religion away?

EDIT:
Shame that Jughead never came out...

Tamin

I work at a bookstore, and we stock both the comic-book sized Archies, and the digest ones. I've only been party to one person buying them, and he wasn't a small child. Sadly, I can't recall specifically enough to guess whether he was old enough to be buying them for nostalgia, or college aged.

And at least one of my female coworkers has mentioned she either did, or does, read them.

I could get the numbers and compare how many I receive vs. how many I send back.

lionheart_m

Heh, I guess it IS a phase. I do remember back when I was in 6th or 4th grade I picked up a bunch of Archies. They were fun back then but I don't really see me picking up an Archie comic.

I did like Archie Comics' TMNT tho. How did it end? Last issue I picked (after skipping 6 or so), you had a Raphael and Donatello from the future? Fanfic made canon?

dr. ghost

DMAC wrote: »

I think a ton of kids went through those phases of reading Archie for a year or so (7 or 8?). I used to work at a library and there's an age where kids just devour stuff like Archie, Garfield, the Asterix/Tintin books... Then they realize that they're basically reading the same thing over and over and move on to something else like the Goosebumps books.

I used to like the Harvey comics too at that age. I still want to be Richie Rich.

this is damn accurate.
i used to check out a bunch of those comics when i was 8 (circa 93).