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Roommate + GFs Parents + My Apartment = Right Now

2456

Posts

  • WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

    Wiley on
    steam_sig.png
  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    simo wrote: »
    i wouldn't invite my roommate to a dinner with my girlfriend and parents either

    Would you at least give your roommate a heads up about it?

    Buddy Lee on
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  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Wiley wrote: »
    Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

    right up until he makes you a delicious steak dinner to make up for it.

    and after you finish you suddenly realize the error of your ways.

    vsove on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Look every person at the table right in the eyes and then spit on their food and salute them in clockwise order

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    Buddy let me ask you:
    Do you have, or can you get, the following?
    *Balloons
    *Urine
    *A rabid mongoose
    *Hot sauce

    Me Too! on
    Druhim wrote: »
    wiggin's right
    Twitter last.fm music blog (dead?) ficly
  • WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    vsove wrote: »
    Wiley wrote: »
    Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

    right up until he makes you a delicious steak dinner to make up for it.

    and after you finish you suddenly realize the error of your ways.

    Just use plenty of steak sauce.

    Wiley on
    steam_sig.png
  • A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Tell a story about your tour in Vietnam.

    A Dabble Of Thelonius on
  • simosimo Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Buddy Lee wrote: »
    simo wrote: »
    i wouldn't invite my roommate to a dinner with my girlfriend and parents either

    Would you at least give your roommate a heads up about it?

    yea probably

    simo on
    bugss2.jpg
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Lol! wrote: »
    Buddy let me ask you:
    Do you have, or can you get, the following?
    *Balloons
    *Urine
    *A rabid mongoose
    *Hot sauce

    Sometimes your joke premises are too elaborate.

    The_Scarab on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Talonious_monk wrote: »
    Wait for a lull in the conversation and look over at your roomate and his girlfriend and ask "So are you guys going to tell them tonight?" Afterwards ask flustered and try to awkwardly take it back. All the while apologizing to the parents.

    I like this one the best.

    Alternatively just wander out of the room smile and go, so have you told them the big news yet?

    Blake T on
    nzDA7PA.png

    Satans..... hints.....
  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Wiley wrote: »
    Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

    I don't need to do this in order for his meat to get spoiled. He left some ground beef in the fridge for two weeks after its sell-by date. He forgot about it. When he found it again, he boiled it.

    Buddy Lee on
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  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Heres what you do.

    Do you have a cordless phone? Good.

    Grab it, walk out to where they can see and hear you and start having a conversation with yourself. You don't need to be vulgar or anything, but you can throw in some corny jokes and fake laughs. Maybe pretend to be on an important business call, 'peterson account, old man johnson, report on his desk by tomorrow, yadda yadda yadda'.

    Then in your pocket, have your cell phone ready to dial your apartment phone. Let your conversation turn a little heated, start pretending to be stressed, and pause where they can definitely see and hear you. Just as you're really getting into it, call the phone you're currently talking.

    While it's still ringing, look at them like you've just been found out and run back to your room, slam the door, and crank up the spice girls sound track you know you have.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Lol! wrote: »
    Buddy let me ask you:
    Do you have, or can you get, the following?
    *Balloons
    *Urine
    *A rabid mongoose
    *Hot sauce

    Sometimes your joke premises are too elaborate.

    Really you just need three of the four
    The mongoose is like a bonus item

    Me Too! on
    Druhim wrote: »
    wiggin's right
    Twitter last.fm music blog (dead?) ficly
  • WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Buddy Lee wrote: »
    Wiley wrote: »
    Making food and not inviting your room-mate to share in it is rudeness of the highest order. If he has meat in the freezer take it out and allow it to spoil before re-freezing it. Rudeness solved.

    I don't need to do this in order for his meat to get spoiled. He left some ground beef in the fridge for two weeks after its sell-by date. He forgot about it. When he found it again, he boiled it.

    Aw hell. I wouldn't eat anything that dude cooked.

    Wiley on
    steam_sig.png
  • J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Filler's suggestion is fantastic

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Just start blasting this. Like really loud.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OzWIFX8M-Y


    REALLY LOUD!

    Lucky Cynic on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Lol! wrote: »
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Lol! wrote: »
    Buddy let me ask you:
    Do you have, or can you get, the following?
    *Balloons
    *Urine
    *A rabid mongoose
    *Hot sauce

    Sometimes your joke premises are too elaborate.

    Really you just need three of the four
    The mongoose is like a bonus item

    The moist maker, if you will.

    The_Scarab on
  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Blaket wrote: »
    Talonious_monk wrote: »
    Wait for a lull in the conversation and look over at your roomate and his girlfriend and ask "So are you guys going to tell them tonight?" Afterwards ask flustered and try to awkwardly take it back. All the while apologizing to the parents.

    I like this one the best.

    Alternatively just wander out of the room smile and go, so have you told them the big news yet?

    These are both excellent.

    Buddy Lee on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    Heres what you do.

    Do you have a cordless phone? Good.

    Grab it, walk out to where they can see and hear you and start having a conversation with yourself. You don't need to be vulgar or anything, but you can throw in some corny jokes and fake laughs. Maybe pretend to be on an important business call, 'peterson account, old man johnson, report on his desk by tomorrow, yadda yadda yadda'.

    Then in your pocket, have your cell phone ready to dial your apartment phone. Let your conversation turn a little heated, start pretending to be stressed, and pause where they can definitely see and hear you. Just as you're really getting into it, call the phone you're currently talking.

    While it's still ringing, look at them like you've just been found out and run back to your room, slam the door, and crank up the spice girls sound track you know you have.

    YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED BOB

    FOURTY. MILLION. FUCKING EUROS, BOB! CLEAN OUT YOUR LOCKER AT THE CLUB.

    Metzger Meister on
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I would use the phone idea, but keep interrupting dinner by yelling to your room-mate that there is a girl calling for him

    worst case scenario : your room-mate gets mad at YOU and loses his temper in front of the parents

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    Heres what you do.

    Do you have a cordless phone? Good.

    Grab it, walk out to where they can see and hear you and start having a conversation with yourself. You don't need to be vulgar or anything, but you can throw in some corny jokes and fake laughs. Maybe pretend to be on an important business call, 'peterson account, old man johnson, report on his desk by tomorrow, yadda yadda yadda'.

    Then in your pocket, have your cell phone ready to dial your apartment phone. Let your conversation turn a little heated, start pretending to be stressed, and pause where they can definitely see and hear you. Just as you're really getting into it, call the phone you're currently talking.

    While it's still ringing, look at them like you've just been found out and run back to your room, slam the door, and crank up the spice girls sound track you know you have.

    I'd use this idea, but replace the running back to your room with running to the bathroom, turning on the shower and sobbing loudly to yourself, Tobias Funke style.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Buddy Lee wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    Talonious_monk wrote: »
    Wait for a lull in the conversation and look over at your roomate and his girlfriend and ask "So are you guys going to tell them tonight?" Afterwards ask flustered and try to awkwardly take it back. All the while apologizing to the parents.

    I like this one the best.

    Alternatively just wander out of the room smile and go, so have you told them the big news yet?

    These are both excellent.

    Do it. Go! Report back so that we may thrill at your hijinks.

    A Dabble Of Thelonius on
  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Vorus wrote: »
    I would use the phone idea, but keep interrupting dinner by yelling to your room-mate that there is a girl calling for him

    worst case scenario : your room-mate gets mad at YOU and loses his temper in front of the parents

    Sup ashley?

    Oh, bob? No, you know who's parents are over for dinner.

    Huh? Oooh ha haha you naughty girl you!

    Alright I'll tell him you called.

    Filler Inc. on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    How about you stay in your room and play video games, quietly, always hoping the meal goes well for your roommate who you are friends with and don't want to ruin his life over something.

    Or, if he deserves it, just walk around in a bath robe puffing on an invisible pipe in your hand, and say nothing but 'what ho!' whenever they look at you.

    The_Scarab on
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Damn, you guys are good at this.


    Still, I like my idea best.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    Vorus wrote: »
    I would use the phone idea, but keep interrupting dinner by yelling to your room-mate that there is a girl calling for him

    worst case scenario : your room-mate gets mad at YOU and loses his temper in front of the parents

    Sup ashley?

    Oh, bob? No, you know who's parents are over for dinner.

    Huh? Oooh ha haha you naughty girl you!

    Alright I'll tell him you called.

    "HEY! WHATSHERFACE FROM LAST NIGHT CALLED. DO YOU STILL HAVE HER BATHING SUIT BOTTOM?"

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Walk out, covered in feces, with your hands tied together.
    "THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, HE'S BEEN KEEPING ME HERE, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN NAME PLEASE GOD KILL ME"

    Metzger Meister on
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    you can be really simple about this

    walk into the kitchen to get a drink, or wherever, and just look at them all eating and try and stifle a chuckle and shake your head and go back to your room

    her parents will wrack their brains

    Sara Lynn on
  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Talonious_monk wrote: »
    Buddy Lee wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    Talonious_monk wrote: »
    Wait for a lull in the conversation and look over at your roomate and his girlfriend and ask "So are you guys going to tell them tonight?" Afterwards ask flustered and try to awkwardly take it back. All the while apologizing to the parents.

    I like this one the best.

    Alternatively just wander out of the room smile and go, so have you told them the big news yet?

    These are both excellent.

    Do it. Go! Report back so that we may thrill at your hijinks.

    I'm seriously considering it. He fucking deserves it. And it would be hilarious. They would go CRAZY and they wouldn't believe him when he kept saying "Nonono, seriously, there's nothing to tell!"

    And I could be there saying stuff like "Okay, okay, not yet, I see how it is. Just waiting for the right time, sorry I said anything."

    Buddy Lee on
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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Metzger, I hate every post of yours even more now. That av is simply perfect.

    Butters on
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  • Buddy LeeBuddy Lee Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    you can be really simple about this

    walk into the kitchen to get a drink, or wherever, and just look at them all eating and try and stifle a chuckle and shake your head and go back to your room

    her parents will wrack their brains

    Perfect.

    Buddy Lee on
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  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I've got an idea, just call the house phone, and when it is answered, play Rick Roll from the computer.

    If you have her cell phone, do it to her too.

    Lucky Cynic on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    you can be really simple about this

    walk into the kitchen to get a drink, or wherever, and just look at them all eating and try and stifle a chuckle and shake your head and go back to your room

    her parents will wrack their brains

    actually instead of a chuckle look at the parents and do the D: face then scamped back to your room and slam the door.

    The_Scarab on
  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Vorus wrote: »
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    Vorus wrote: »
    I would use the phone idea, but keep interrupting dinner by yelling to your room-mate that there is a girl calling for him

    worst case scenario : your room-mate gets mad at YOU and loses his temper in front of the parents

    Sup ashley?

    Oh, bob? No, you know who's parents are over for dinner.

    Huh? Oooh ha haha you naughty girl you!

    Alright I'll tell him you called.

    "HEY! WHATSHERFACE FROM LAST NIGHT CALLED. DO YOU STILL HAVE HER BATHING SUIT BOTTOM?"

    Hey, vance called! He wants to know if you're still down to go to the glory hole on saturday?

    Should I tell him you are?!

    Bob?

    Did you hear me? The glory hole, vance wants to know if you want to go to the glory hole again this saturday?

    Filler Inc. on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Spark up a huge fucking fatty right there in the kitchen

    Metzger Meister on
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    Walk out while they're eating and ask your roommate to shut the door when he's jerking it from now on

    Me Too! on
    Druhim wrote: »
    wiggin's right
    Twitter last.fm music blog (dead?) ficly
  • zimfanzimfan Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    you can be really simple about this

    walk into the kitchen to get a drink, or wherever, and just look at them all eating and try and stifle a chuckle and shake your head and go back to your room

    her parents will wrack their brains

    actually instead of a chuckle look at the parents and do the D: face then scamped back to your room and slam the door.

    ahhaha, you guys make the best suggestions

    I want to know what he's going to pick

    zimfan on
    PasscodeSig.png
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    you can be really simple about this

    walk into the kitchen to get a drink, or wherever, and just look at them all eating and try and stifle a chuckle and shake your head and go back to your room

    her parents will wrack their brains

    actually instead of a chuckle look at the parents and do the D: face then scamped back to your room and slam the door.
    actually you should just shake your head in a solemn manner

    like you pity them so much

    Clint Eastwood on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    THE OOOOOOLD GLORY HOLE!

    Metzger Meister on
  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Lol! wrote: »
    Buddy let me ask you:
    Do you have, or can you get, the following?
    *Balloons
    *Urine
    *A rabid mongoose
    *Hot sauce

    Sometimes your joke premises are too elaborate.

    also not funny

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
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