someone post peanuts, it was seriously incredible
but as i recall, peanuts was actually real, like someone wrote it with the intent of turning people on.
okay, K said I could so none of you other mods ban me for this:
NSFW Erotic ALF slash fiction:
It was a quiet, relatively uneventful day in the Tanner household. Willie Tanner was still at his office,
Lynn was at cheerleading practice and Brian was at his boyfriend’s house. Kate was curled up on the couch,
indulging in some white chocolate and reading the most recent issue Red Book magazine when a commotion in the kitchen interrupted the silence.
She rushed into the kitchen to find ALF sprawled on the ground, an empty bottle of Jim Beam in one hand and a tuft of what appeared to be cat hair in the other.
“Fuck that fuckin’ cat…†he slurred.
“ALF!†cried Kate “ALF, are you… are you okay?â€
he leered up at her from the floor. His eyes drifting in and out of focus as they slid over her well-toned calves, up to her soft round breasts, obscured by the trendy 1980’s cropped-top varsity sweatshirt she was sporting.
“Kate, have I ever…have I ever told you that you’ve got really awesome tits?â€
“ALF!†screamed Kate, trying to sound mortified. She swallowed hard. She never knew ALF felt that way about her. It took her by surprise.
Lord knows she thought about him all the time. His short, hairy body, his strangely arousing, phallic snout. That mole.
“Smarten up ALF, you’re drunk aren’t you? Go upstairs†she tried to sound authoritative but her voice came out as a squeak
“why don’t you come with me baby?†He had gotten up from the floor and was stumbling towards her.
He fell forward clumsily and clutched at her breasts. She gasped. She felt a wrench of pleasure in her loins. She grabbed his shoulders, and tried to push him back, but he lunged forcibly against her,
they tumbled to the floor of the kitchen in a heap
“oh… oh ALF, no… no I can’t, what will will and the kids think?â€
“Fuck will and fuck the kids. And fuck me kate. I want to fuckâ€
Kate’s thighs twitched in anticipation as ALF pulled off her 80’s style stone-wash tapered denim jeans and promptly began giving her oral pleasure. She moaned, grabbing at the coarse, reddish brown hair on the top of his head
“yes! Yes! Eat me you crazy little alien! Eat me! Yes!â€
he grabbed her and flipped her over, put her into position and started nailing her from behind while she screamed, and tossed her hair like a wild mare taking it from some really fucking hot stallion or something.
“I’M GOING TO CUM!†she screeched.
“SWEET MELMAC, SO AM I!!†bellowed ALF.
Their bodies shuddered as they climaxed in unison.
Both of them fell to the ground, heaving with passionate exertion.
Suddenly ALF started choking as if he was going to vomit. He coughed up a giant ball of pubic hair. “looks like I finally managed to eat the cat after allâ€
you... you thought you'd get banned for erotic alf fanfiction?
hopefully it fits my needs size-wise (laptop and a book and folder or two without too much empty space left over). if it doesn't zappos has a free return shipping and refund policy.
My friends having a pajama party for her 22nd, so I'm thinking about getting a giant onsie.
Does this sound like a good idea? Or am I just gonna start feelings weird walking around drunk and high while wearing a onsie?
Also, how am I gonna deal with the whole peeing thing?
do you mean one of those things with the butt flap, or something else
Yes, one piece pajama with feet.
And I have a lot of hot female friends, but they're also probably not gonna be strutting around in lingerie because I hang out with nice girls, and not sluts like my mom wanted me to.
My dad will occasionally tell me that I should try to date more sluts because they can be fun and because there's nothing wrong with dropping my standards occasionally
one time he says this and a few seconds go by and my mom yells from two rooms away: "yeah dear, that was what your father did all through high school and he seemed to enjoy it"
and dad just looked offended and I laughed my ass off
Posts
but I am also kind of glad that it did
so how about them skinny jeans?
Good grief
but as i recall, peanuts was actually real, like someone wrote it with the intent of turning people on.
damn
GW2: Hurindar
oh god that was seriously the best vent day ever
i laughed so hard that night, my stomach was killing me
it's not the same as the real thing but you get the idea
you... you thought you'd get banned for erotic alf fanfiction?
oh, what has become of us, SE?
hopefully it fits my needs size-wise (laptop and a book and folder or two without too much empty space left over). if it doesn't zappos has a free return shipping and refund policy.
that's what they're for
Does this sound like a good idea? Or am I just gonna start feelings weird walking around drunk and high while wearing a onsie?
Also, how am I gonna deal with the whole peeing thing?
this number is directly proportional to how awesome that party will be
do you mean one of those things with the butt flap, or something else
Yes, one piece pajama with feet.
And I have a lot of hot female friends, but they're also probably not gonna be strutting around in lingerie because I hang out with nice girls, and not sluts like my mom wanted me to.
At the tender age of two she introduced me to my first slut. A feisty Spaniard named Rosita.
Through the years she would introduce me to more and more sluts, till I had accumulated a shoebox full of zima bottle caps and hair scrunchies.
I some how got crabs in 4th grade. I don't know how either.
Driving Miss Daisy specifically.
one time he says this and a few seconds go by and my mom yells from two rooms away: "yeah dear, that was what your father did all through high school and he seemed to enjoy it"
and dad just looked offended and I laughed my ass off
maybe you had to be there
now it's a question of being able to afford getting it made
I like how you had to say this joke twice.
Custom tailoring a design?
nah genuine's too expensive
going with a bit of the faux imitation stuff
BUT LOOK HOW PRETTY