Timid about playing online.

MisterGrok

So, I used to play Quake and Counter-strike online a lot. I wasn't all that bad either. I'm not sure what happened, but around the time that Call of Duty and Battlefield came out, I didn't buy either game or play online much anymore. I think the last game I played online with any real interest was Rise of Nations.

Now, I have many games available that have online modes - Team Fortress 2, Gears of War, Uno, LittleBigPlanet - that I just can't bear to hit the "Play Online" button for. I play World of Warcraft with my fiance and she has roped me into being on an Arena team with her, the only time I really PvP, and I find myself sweating at the palms and physically shaking whenever we start a match.

I guess it's also interaction online too, since I don't find myself really worrying about Xbox Live's 100 friend limit (I recently brought my friends list up to about 30 thanks to the Fable 2 thread, I don't even really talk to any of those people either) and my friends list in WoW is mostly a couple people I've known for a long time and their many alts.

While making friends is one of my many problems, though, my purpose for this thread is this; I have games with multiplayer components, I pay for services that allow me to play online, and I do not use them. I know they can be fun but I just can't seem to be able to find the fun in them. Help me H/A, help me find the fun in multiplayer gaming again.

bowen

Seems you're too worried about being good enough or losing. I'm not sure you can get over the last part, losing in any game or sport is really a mind blow that you have to be willing to go "yeah he's better than me, maybe I can get better." The first one is just a mental cockblock you have to also be willing to get over. The only one judging yourself is you. If the person you're playing with or against does it, just don't play with them, or find a style of game that fits your playstyle.

In RTS games I absolutely hate doing deathmatch style and I just love team play. I always play a game as team play. Working together with my best friend to conquer shit is good fun. Working together and losing is not as fun, but still pretty cool because at least you were working together and shit.

Doing deathmatch style things and just getting your ass handed to you in and out builds the type of response I see from you. And that's the main reason I don't play them, I used to be exactly like that too. Worrying if I was good enough to just let loose and play a game or destroy shit with my friends.

Just my 3 cents.

Monolithic_Dome

If you've never played TF2 Multiplayer you really need to try. This is totally subjective, but I find that the crowd for that game skews towards "having fun" and away from "being a douche" more than, say Gears of War. And it's so much goddamned fun. probably the most fun I've ever had in a multiplayer game.

I'd highly recommend either the PA servers or My clan's server. Both are very laid back and noob friendly. I mean you'll lose a lot, but nobody will call you a cuntbucket unless provoked.

Casually Hardcore

What exactly is the problem? The sweating palms and shaking is just an adrenaline rush, sometimes I get like that when I'm facing a tough challenge.

As for interacting with others on an online game, you'll be surprise that most people just want to play the game. Unless you're with a group of friends, or playing a game that requires vocal communication, you'll find out that for the most part people have nothing to say.

MrMonroe

What confuses me is how you're playing tuftoo single player. O_o

It's a very laid-back game. I recommend it much more highly on PC, though, sounds like you might be a console only person.

milehigh

Did anything happen that set this off? I ask because I went for almost a year avoiding multiplayer games after one particularly bad Counter Strike match, where I not only got shit talked by the other team, but also maliciously sworn at by my team. I decided it wasn't fun at that point, and had a hard time going back to any multiplayer game after that because I'd get nervous. Then I picked up TF2 and got totally into it. Since then I've played with others just fine.

In any case just remember it's for fun, that's the point. Sure, winning is more fun, and in a multiplayer environment there's more.....pressure to do well, but don't let it turn into stress, because stress...well that's what the real world is for, and unless there's actual money on the game (REAL WORLD MONEY PEOPLE, GOLD PIECES OR SOULS OF XENU DO NOT COUNT) there's no reason to get worked up.

SammyF

So... I just want to throw this out there: not everyone in the world is supposed to like competitive online games. I work in a very competitive industry, and I refuse to play even simple card games with people I like because it's bred a blood-thirsty streak in me. But I'm a pretty social person and the industry I work in revolves around developing relationships with other people (um, in a blood-thirsty way?) so I tend to focus on cooperative games instead. Horde in Gears 2 was the best thing ever (in my opinion) before I found Left 4 Dead, which is like Horde but with something resembling a story and direction behind it. And while I do actually enjoy tactical shooters like Rainbow Six, most of my online time in Vegas 2 was spent doing cooperative terrorist hunts or playing through the campaign cooperatively. I would probably have never finished a single Halo title had it not been for coop; I actually would never have purchased an XBox had it not been for Halo coop.

Which is okay, right? We're all gamers here, I might just get something different out of games than some other folks. And the people who prefer deathmatch or team deathmatch games have their own tastes, and those are valid, too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe not enjoying PvP isn't really a problem?

subedii

Like others have said, it sounds like mainly that you don't want to play online because you're worried it'll be frustrating and disheartening getting killed repeatedly and loosing, usually to people who are just freaking jerks to begin with. It's not really the way you want to spend your free time when you're supposed to be having "fun".

I honestly used to be largely the same way. Why bother playing online with whiny, high pitched 12 year old swearmongers and just get frustrated with everything?

A few things helped change my attitude though.

First, and the best advice I can give you, is try to get online with a group or community of people that aren't complete prats. This is probably the biggest benefit of being at PA, because the multiplayer community here is generally really solid, and care a lot more about having fun and don't care how good you are or aren't. No community is perfect, but in general the PA community has one of the lowest idiot ratio's I've seen, and I can't stress how important that is. Multiplayer gaming is MADE by who you're playing with after all. If you're worried just make it known at the start of the game that you're new and will be picking things up as you go along, people will generally go out of their way to help.

Next thing I would suggest is to start off playing team oriented or co-op games at first. Team Fortress 2 is genuinely one of the best games to get you into multiplayer gaming. I wasn't really interested in multiplayer myself until I tried the beta with the rest of the PA crew. It's designed around being easy to pick up, and the classes are designed in such as way that as long as you're doing what your class is good at, you're being useful to the team. I used to have fun with it even when my team was losing, and there's few games I could really say that about. Just hit up the TF2 thread and join in the servers listed, it's a tonne of fun. I'd recomend starting off as a medic, since teams ALWAYS need a medic, and it'll give you a good chance to observe the overall flow of the game and the layout of the maps. But really, most classes are good to start with (I'd avoid playing Spy until you're comfortable with the game, it's a slightly more complex class to use).

Other good game would probably be Left 4 Dead, since that's completely based around co-op. Again, just make sure to mention at the start that you're new, and everyone will usually be happy to show you the ropes. Information on how to get a game going with us is in the Left 4 Dead thread.

I don't own a 360 so I'm not sure on this, but I'm pretty certain you ought to be able to hit up people in the Gears 2 thread for a co-op or competitive game, and probably add in people to your friends list.

I guess what I'm saying is that multiplayer is all about the people you play with. Once you get a few decent people around, it becomes FAR more fun and easygoing than playing public games with random dudes.

truck-a-sauras

milehigh wrote: »

Did anything happen that set this off? I ask because I went for almost a year avoiding multiplayer games after one particularly bad Counter Strike match, where I not only got shit talked by the other team, but also maliciously sworn at by my team. I decided it wasn't fun at that point, and had a hard time going back to any multiplayer game after that because I'd get nervous. Then I picked up TF2 and got totally into it. Since then I've played with others just fine.

In any case just remember it's for fun, that's the point. Sure, winning is more fun, and in a multiplayer environment there's more.....pressure to do well, but don't let it turn into stress, because stress...well that's what the real world is for, and unless there's actual money on the game (REAL WORLD MONEY PEOPLE, GOLD PIECES OR SOULS OF XENU DO NOT COUNT) there's no reason to get worked up.

bad matches of Halo 2/3 online have made me want to quit many times and given that nervous shaky sensation. The best solution is playing only with friends or against mutes.

Forums like here in PA or 2old2play where you can meet up with players who aren't tools count as quality people to game with. And if you must delve into gaming against random foes it is always best to MUTE everyone. Halo 3 makes this very easy. Sure you may get destroyed and virtually tea-bagged, but you don't have to listen to assholes scream obscenities/racial slurs/smack talk.

NHL09 is perfect as you can't ever hear the other team. Sure there is some annoying play habits to contend with, but not hearing your opponent goes a very long way for me.

I enjoy some fun smack talk with friends as they have boundaries and won't go into the realm of annoying. It can add some extra fun into the match, but my experience is that if you are not gaming with friends the voice chat is the quickest way to start hating to play that game.

Echo

Might I recommend some Left 4 Dead with PA people? In campaign mode you're playing with people, not against them.

Kris_xK

Echo wrote: »

Might I recommend some Left 4 Dead with PA people? In campaign mode you're playing with people, not against them.

Good call there.

Echo's got the right idea, just ease into it. It really, REALLY helps to play with people you know, even if it is just through the forums. Not only is a PA team likely to be better than a random PUG team, there's more team support, better (friendlier) conversations, and no matter what you can always say "Man I suck right now" and a PA player will chime in with a story about the time they went 0-50 or something. It makes a difference.

Or if you want to avoid that altogether, try Coop. Tons of games have coop now (like L4D as Echo suggested, which I very much recommend). Maybe pick up Gears, maybe some CoD:WaW, even some Halo3.

We've got good communities here, especially for the 360 and PC so you should take advantage of that.

jefe414

GoW 2 has a neat 5 player co-op Horde mode. Tons of fun.

Einhander

To the guys who talk about getting shakey and not wanting to play online after a bad match/the OP:

Dudes, who cares? The worst thing someone on the internet can do is call you a bad name. If you have a bad match, quit the server and find another. Don't let some idiot twelve year old from Ohio who goes by the handle |)347|-|8r1|\|g3r 420 ruin your online experience.

You paid cash money for your games, don't let some idiot you don't even know and will probably never see again stop you from getting your full money's worth.

Also, playing with PA dudes is usually a much better idea than playing with random people. You mentioned Team Fortress 2, Gears of War (Diet/Picante, these are Gears 2 threads but you can easily round up a GoW game there), Uno, and LittleBigPlanet, and all of those (except for Uno, but make a game on for it and you'll get a bunch of people in no time) have threads here at PA with people who play it online who aren't assholes.

I've never had an issue playing an online game with forumers, and was never called anything worse than a Mexican Jew Lizard.

Asiina

It depends on why you are nervous playing. If it's cause you don't want to be called names and deal with internet douchebags, then Left 4 Dead campaigns are fun. You are playing with 3 other people against the computer characters. It's pure co-op.

If you're nervous because you think you'll let your team down or you'll be bad, then TF2 is definitely where it's at. Even someone who's just picked up the game can get lucky kills. Soldier, Sniper, and Pyro are really good to pick up and get some confidence building kills while you're getting used to the game. Plus in TF2 everyone dies all the time and it's not a big deal. Pretty much everything you can do related to your class helps your team in some way.

Also we are cool dudes so come play with us.

Ganluan

I've found turning off the voice chat removes any "anxiety" if I'm starting to get annoyed by people playing online. I too tend to want to stop playing online when I run into some swearing or malicious jackass, but turning off the microphone lets me still have fun.

If you're worried whether you're "good" or not, stop worrying. In a year (or even a couple days) no one, including yourself, will give a shit if you lost a match in Halo or Gears.

Digito

I'm also gonna suggest Left 4 Dead, I don't often play games online with people outside of MMO's but I've absolutely LOVED playing Left 4 Dead with the PA guys, campaign mode in paticular. Good, zombie shooting times for everybody.

George Fornby Grill

I used to hate playing ANY FPS just because I'd die a lot, it'd piss me off. Then I just buckled down and played through all of HL2+ both episodes, not even caring if I died, and I had fun. Definitely go into an online game like you don't give a shit about your kill/death ratio, just go in and shoot shit until you die, then do it again.

Like others have said, definitely try L4D, it's still fun even if you lose horribly, I think everyone dying is the funniest part of the game. People running around screaming in voice chat, watching your teammates drop one by one, then limping as fast as you can to a closet to revive your fallen comrades, only to be pounced by a hunter right by the door. L4D is good times.

zilo

If you really want to get into this kind of thing then there's nothing to be done but to jump in. My first experience with PvP in a new game is always a white-knuckle, heart-pounding affair; after a few rounds it settles down, especially after I lose a bunch and discover that nobody's coming to my house to kill me for playing poorly.

TF2 with the PA people is great fun. I'm not much into online shooters these days but I had a Saturday morning open so I fired it up to see what's what and ended up having a really good time even though I'm pretty bad. You could definitely do a lot worse than that bunch, although be aware that a lot of 'em have been playing together for a long time and will engage in some smack-talk. It's all in good fun.

edit: and yeah, when playing with strangers, figure out how to mute people and don't give them second chances.

kaliyama

Asiina wrote: »

It depends on why you are nervous playing. If it's cause you don't want to be called names and deal with internet douchebags, then Left 4 Dead campaigns are fun. You are playing with 3 other people against the computer characters. It's pure co-op.

If you're nervous because you think you'll let your team down or you'll be bad, then TF2 is definitely where it's at. Even someone who's just picked up the game can get lucky kills. Soldier, Sniper, and Pyro are really good to pick up and get some confidence building kills while you're getting used to the game. Plus in TF2 everyone dies all the time and it's not a big deal. Pretty much everything you can do related to your class helps your team in some way.

Also we are cool dudes so come play with us.

I let my team down every game (no matter how many times i uber flippy, it has yet to produce a win), and I LOVE PLAYING TF2 ON THE PA SERVERS. The trick is play a fun game with nice people. Your OP was a little bit vague. Do you have similar problems in real life? Because you're framing this as a social anxiety issue, which could be, but if you don't have problems with friends in RL, it does make it more likely that you're just taking things a bit too seriously or are playing with jerks.

capnrico

Play co-op modes. Play without a headset. Play with GOOD friends, people you trust, and can laugh with, no matter what the result of the round. Learn to laugh at yourself. Try different "flavors" of stuff. I know I don't like playing 5v5 in Gears of War 2 against friends as much as I like playing with a group of 4 friends against the world. Actually, the same goes for pretty much every game I've played. I much prefer grouping up and stomping or being stomped by strangers than friends. Also try things that aren't just vanilla deathmatch, try some capture point gametypes, or capture the flag, or whatever.

All else fails, competitive multiplayer isn't for everyone.

George Fornby Grill

It's been said that the XBox headset is the stupidest thing you can put next to your head this side of a shotgun. Definitely play 360 shooters without the headset, unless you're with friends.

RubberAC

This has probably been said already. But whatever
i feel the main reason I avoided playing online in games was that there's already been established ways of playing. It's worse when jumping into an MMO, but even a game like TF2, there's certain tactics and ways of playing that everyone seems to know, that make you feel awful at the game. This is why I play on the PA servers. Everyone is super helpful, you'll only get made fun of if you're a dick. It's very low pressure and fun. Seconding Asiina's mention of Left4Dead. Co-Op games are super easy to get into. Try out Horde mode on Gears 2 as well; Just watch for someone who seems to know what theyre doing, and try to emulate them. Figure out why they do what they do, etc.
Personally, I hate vs mode in Gears, because it's so formulaic. Teams rush each other, shotgun battles ensue, game ends. It's hard to really get into something like that. That's why I love Horde mode.

FunnyFreak

Monolithic_Dome wrote: »

If you've never played TF2 Multiplayer you really need to try. This is totally subjective, but I find that the crowd for that game skews towards "having fun" and away from "being a douche" more than, say Gears of War. And it's so much goddamned fun. probably the most fun I've ever had in a multiplayer game.

I'd highly recommend either the PA servers or My clan's server. Both are very laid back and noob friendly. I mean you'll lose a lot, but nobody will call you a cuntbucket unless provoked.

I agree with this. I used to play TF2 so much online and it has probably the best community I have ever played with.