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The only good bug is a dead bug!(not a starship troopers thread)
So, I go to my bathroom to take a pee, and Im starting my business and I see out of the corner of my eye a big brown spot on my shower curtain. Naturally, I assume this is a spider that is out to kill me so I jump back and in the process I pee everywhere. It's a gods damned cockroach. What are your terrible bug stories SE?
I didn't even know what the fuck and avitar was until about 5 minutes ago.
I absolutely cannot abide insects
my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks
oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out
I absolutely cannot abide insects
my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks
oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out
I absolutely cannot abide insects
my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks
oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out
Do you eat cheese?
There's bugs in your cheese.
You eat these bugs.
Nah, the bacteria and mold eats the bugs, so its cool.
In 2003 I went to Mexico for three weeks to get college credit. Money + immersion = no Spanish 3 and 4! Yay! Anyway, the third and final week is about to begin. We just came back from Acapulco, we're getting anxious about going home, but all is well.
Now at the final meeting before we left, the professor is giving us information and advice, and just offhandedly, she mentions that there are scorpions about down there. Everyone seemed pretty OK with this thought, but I raised my hand. "Scorpions, you say?" "Yes...scorpions." This exchange colored a great deal of my trip.
If you're unfamiliar with arid climates, as I was, you should know that sun = everything. Unlike South Carolina, shade actually works to keep you cool! As such, it would be extremely hot in my bedroom in the early evening, but very cold in the middle of the night. This meant a blanket shoved to the bottom of the bed at first, only to be pulled up later. But each night, before it was, it was checked thoroughly for scorpions.
Anyway, Sunday night, same scenario. 3 AM, I'm chilly, I want the blanket, but it needs an examination first. My roommate was asleep in the bed across the room, and so I didn't want to turn on the lamp. Instead, I turned on the bathroom light when I went to the pisser. Had it not been for that, the following events may have happened differently.
(Host) Mama had told us to keep our shampoo bottle over the sink drain to prevent unwanted visitors, but this had apparently been forgotten. As I walked in, I heard scuttling sounds coming from the sink. I peered in and there before my eyes was a large black scorpion. It was scrambling around the sink while I looking on in horror. Once I shook off my temporary paralysis, I dashed back into the room and headed for the closet. I grabbed one of my shoes, then thought better of it and selected of my roommate's.
When I returned to face the beast, he had stopped running around. I looked at him...he looked at me...a tumbleweed rolled by out in the road. Then I raised my weapon and brought it down upon my foe, knocking off a pincer. I struck again, but missed. I struck a third blow, and crushed my enemies' thorax. Winded, I left his corpse as an example to the others (and also, I didn't want to touch the icky thing) and headed out to the computer. There would be no more sleep that night.
tl;dr: Fuck! A scorpion!
MagnumCT on
0
marty_0001I am a fileand you put documents in meRegistered Userregular
So when Butler was here for PAX, I took him to the zoo with me one day afterwards. We're in the lizard building walking up to each small glass enclosure and leaning in closely, trying to find whatever we were supposed to be looking at. We've gone through about 15 of these or so and we're not even stepping away or anything just moving our faces from glass to glass.
Finally I move to the last one in the row and I'm looking really close and not seeing any lizards and I think to myself, "what the hell am I supposed to be looking for, it just looks like a couple peices of bark?" I glance down at the nameplate on the exhibit quick.
Brazilian cockroaches.
"Brazilian cockroa...I don't see an...OH GOD THAT'S NOT BARK. OH GROSS. OH JESUS THAT'S SO GROSS. FUCK."
I really think the zoo set me up, man.
Jordyn on
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
In college I battled giant Georgia roaches (palmetto bugs) and wolf spiders which bear a striking resemblance to brown recluses (which are seriously poisonous).
Did you know roaches can live for days without their head!? It's true!
i just went to the San Diego Zoo for the first time yesterday.
they've got a childrens' zoo section, and in that section they have an insect house. a good fifth of the house is filled with nothing but cockroach exhibits. giant hissing cockroaches. wood cockroaches. the friend i was with was thoroughly grossed out
they also had a naked mole rat exhibit; basically it was a series of plastic tubes simulating a mole rat tunnel nest underground. the tubes themselves were inside a larger all-enclosed shack, with one large window so you can view inside. the description of the exhibit said that to avoid the mole rats from being alarmed by sudden strange noises (random humans), they constantly pump loud music inside the exhibit so that the rats have a familiar environment and can't hear the outside noises.
i put my ear next to the glass to hear what music they were using. it was Lady Gaga, on full blast.
Bloods EndBlade of TyshallePunch dimensionRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
I was at a store in India where I thought I saw a cockroach run across the floor. I told the store guy, and he smiled and said "You want to see a cockroach room?" He takes me and my uncle to the back and opens a door. It's almost pitch black, but it looks like the wall and the floor are moving. The store guy turns on the light.
Floor, walls, ceiling, covered in giant cockroaches. Millions of them.
Bloods End on
0
FandyienBut Otto, what about us? Registered Userregular
i just went to the San Diego Zoo for the first time yesterday.
they've got a childrens' zoo section, and in that section they have an insect house. a good fifth of the house is filled with nothing but cockroach exhibits. giant hissing cockroaches. wood cockroaches. the friend i was with was thoroughly grossed out
they also had a naked mole rat exhibit; basically it was a series of plastic tubes simulating a mole rat tunnel nest underground. the tubes themselves were inside a larger all-enclosed shack, with one large window so you can view inside. the description of the exhibit said that to avoid the mole rats from being alarmed by sudden strange noises (random humans), they constantly pump loud music inside the exhibit so that the rats have a familiar environment and can't hear the outside noises.
i put my ear next to the glass to hear what music they were using. it was Lady Gaga, on full blast.
Molerats have a damn good pokerface
Constant expression of ARGH I'M ALL PINK AND HORRIBLE
I am not bugphobic but I dislike being attacked by moths or finding a spider in an unexpected place in much the same way that I adore bunnies but I would take offense if one was to drop off the ceiling and cling to my face
One time I was kayaking with a friend of mine and I noticed something swimming around in the river. I grabbed my camera and had my friend scoop it up with their paddle. This is what is was (spoilered for big bug)
Once one of those big motherfuckers flew into me outside. Landed on my shoulder like some kind of insect-parrot.
once when I was like fourteen I took a nap in the woods around my house (I had spent weeks building a little shelter out of saplings and moss and dry twigs and old gasoline cans)
anyways, I wake up and I move around a little, and look down at myself
"How did it snow on me in the middle of july" was my first thought. But it wasn't snow.
It was spider web.
"POOR EYESIGHT," I shouted - in my head, just now - and got up. As I begin to brush myself off - "Gee I sure am itchy" and I start scratching. "This itch is weird," I think.
I lift up my shirt.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TINY TINY SPIDERS, WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE
Bearstranaut on
You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Posts
ladies
I cleaned myself up! And I killed that son of a bitch roach. With power armor.
my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks
oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out
Do you eat cheese?
There's bugs in your cheese.
You eat these bugs.
Nah, the bacteria and mold eats the bugs, so its cool.
I do
Now at the final meeting before we left, the professor is giving us information and advice, and just offhandedly, she mentions that there are scorpions about down there. Everyone seemed pretty OK with this thought, but I raised my hand. "Scorpions, you say?" "Yes...scorpions." This exchange colored a great deal of my trip.
If you're unfamiliar with arid climates, as I was, you should know that sun = everything. Unlike South Carolina, shade actually works to keep you cool! As such, it would be extremely hot in my bedroom in the early evening, but very cold in the middle of the night. This meant a blanket shoved to the bottom of the bed at first, only to be pulled up later. But each night, before it was, it was checked thoroughly for scorpions.
Anyway, Sunday night, same scenario. 3 AM, I'm chilly, I want the blanket, but it needs an examination first. My roommate was asleep in the bed across the room, and so I didn't want to turn on the lamp. Instead, I turned on the bathroom light when I went to the pisser. Had it not been for that, the following events may have happened differently.
(Host) Mama had told us to keep our shampoo bottle over the sink drain to prevent unwanted visitors, but this had apparently been forgotten. As I walked in, I heard scuttling sounds coming from the sink. I peered in and there before my eyes was a large black scorpion. It was scrambling around the sink while I looking on in horror. Once I shook off my temporary paralysis, I dashed back into the room and headed for the closet. I grabbed one of my shoes, then thought better of it and selected of my roommate's.
When I returned to face the beast, he had stopped running around. I looked at him...he looked at me...a tumbleweed rolled by out in the road. Then I raised my weapon and brought it down upon my foe, knocking off a pincer. I struck again, but missed. I struck a third blow, and crushed my enemies' thorax. Winded, I left his corpse as an example to the others (and also, I didn't want to touch the icky thing) and headed out to the computer. There would be no more sleep that night.
tl;dr: Fuck! A scorpion!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CL2hetqpfg
They just want to make sure it isn't something like a rat or a spider that touches the giant monolith around Jupiter first.
also preventing the possibility of returning with giant mutant super spiders that would destroy civilization as we know it
No man should have that kind of power.(Twitter)
no wonder all those dogs, monkeys, rats, fruit flies, earthworms, and croatians we send up for science experiments always come back dead.
No man should have that kind of power.(Twitter)
Finally I move to the last one in the row and I'm looking really close and not seeing any lizards and I think to myself, "what the hell am I supposed to be looking for, it just looks like a couple peices of bark?" I glance down at the nameplate on the exhibit quick.
Brazilian cockroaches.
"Brazilian cockroa...I don't see an...OH GOD THAT'S NOT BARK. OH GROSS. OH JESUS THAT'S SO GROSS. FUCK."
I really think the zoo set me up, man.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
Did you know roaches can live for days without their head!? It's true!
they've got a childrens' zoo section, and in that section they have an insect house. a good fifth of the house is filled with nothing but cockroach exhibits. giant hissing cockroaches. wood cockroaches. the friend i was with was thoroughly grossed out
they also had a naked mole rat exhibit; basically it was a series of plastic tubes simulating a mole rat tunnel nest underground. the tubes themselves were inside a larger all-enclosed shack, with one large window so you can view inside. the description of the exhibit said that to avoid the mole rats from being alarmed by sudden strange noises (random humans), they constantly pump loud music inside the exhibit so that the rats have a familiar environment and can't hear the outside noises.
i put my ear next to the glass to hear what music they were using. it was Lady Gaga, on full blast.
steam | Dokkan: 868846562
Floor, walls, ceiling, covered in giant cockroaches. Millions of them.
Molerats have a damn good pokerface
Constant expression of ARGH I'M ALL PINK AND HORRIBLE
I am not bugphobic but I dislike being attacked by moths or finding a spider in an unexpected place in much the same way that I adore bunnies but I would take offense if one was to drop off the ceiling and cling to my face
Once one of those big motherfuckers flew into me outside. Landed on my shoulder like some kind of insect-parrot.
(I know spiders aren't technically bugs, but it's close enough).
anyways, I wake up and I move around a little, and look down at myself
"How did it snow on me in the middle of july" was my first thought. But it wasn't snow.
It was spider web.
"POOR EYESIGHT," I shouted - in my head, just now - and got up. As I begin to brush myself off - "Gee I sure am itchy" and I start scratching. "This itch is weird," I think.
I lift up my shirt.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TINY TINY SPIDERS, WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
whoops.jpg
can I get a second?
Critical Failures - Havenhold Campaign • August St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
GRAR GRAR ADAPTATION DECAY GRAR
on a different kayaking trip, we found this awesome little hidden offshoot with all kinds of trees overhead.
They looked like this
Why is that so strange? See all those branches and leaves clumped together?
They were enormous communal spiderwebs
nooooooooooooooooooo
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]