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The only good bug is a dead bug!(not a starship troopers thread)

honkymcgoohonkymcgoo Registered User regular
edited March 2009 in Social Entropy++
So, I go to my bathroom to take a pee, and Im starting my business and I see out of the corner of my eye a big brown spot on my shower curtain. Naturally, I assume this is a spider that is out to kill me so I jump back and in the process I pee everywhere. It's a gods damned cockroach. What are your terrible bug stories SE?

I didn't even know what the fuck and avitar was until about 5 minutes ago.
honkymcgoo on
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Posts

  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I used to use AVG, but I think I prefer Avast!

    Randall_Flagg on
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    well if its not a ST thread who gives a flying fuck

    Zombiemambo on
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  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    We dont talk to people who smell of pee and roaches.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • DavoidDavoid Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So your apartment is full of roaches and pee


    ladies

    Davoid on
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  • honkymcgoohonkymcgoo Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    We dont talk to people who smell of pee and roaches.

    I cleaned myself up! And I killed that son of a bitch roach. With power armor.

    honkymcgoo on
    I didn't even know what the fuck and avitar was until about 5 minutes ago.
  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Another reason Florida sucks

    Pharezon on
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  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    if you have one roach, you likely have a million more

    Killjoy on
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I absolutely cannot abide insects
    my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
    thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks

    oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out

    Dichotomy on
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  • DavoidDavoid Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    blah blah spiders everywhere blah blah

    Davoid on
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  • Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    I absolutely cannot abide insects
    my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
    thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks

    oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out

    Do you eat cheese?

    There's bugs in your cheese.

    You eat these bugs.

    Spectre-x on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Spectre-x wrote: »
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    I absolutely cannot abide insects
    my brain shuts down and I become a quivering mess until I am absolutely certain that every insect within the area I call "home" is obliterated
    thanks to paranoia and nerves, this process can sometimes take weeks

    oh and I know that there are like a million bugs living inside your walls and shit where you can't find them so don't bother pointing that out

    Do you eat cheese?

    There's bugs in your cheese.

    You eat these bugs.

    Nah, the bacteria and mold eats the bugs, so its cool.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I would consider living on a space station just to avoid bugs

    Lockout on
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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hahahaha, do you honestly think the cold vacuum of space is going to stop them from getting to you?

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    yeah

    I do

    Lockout on
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  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yeah, I'm pretty sure the cold vacuum of space is a pretty good deterrent.

    sarukun on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Don't you know anything? The cold vacuum of space will only make them stronger.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • HarrierHarrier The Star Spangled Man Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Space bugs are by far the worst kinds of bugs

    Harrier on
    I don't wanna kill anybody. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from.
  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    cue link to the bear-bug

    Houk on
  • MagnumCTMagnumCT Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    In 2003 I went to Mexico for three weeks to get college credit. Money + immersion = no Spanish 3 and 4! Yay! Anyway, the third and final week is about to begin. We just came back from Acapulco, we're getting anxious about going home, but all is well.

    Now at the final meeting before we left, the professor is giving us information and advice, and just offhandedly, she mentions that there are scorpions about down there. Everyone seemed pretty OK with this thought, but I raised my hand. "Scorpions, you say?" "Yes...scorpions." This exchange colored a great deal of my trip.

    If you're unfamiliar with arid climates, as I was, you should know that sun = everything. Unlike South Carolina, shade actually works to keep you cool! As such, it would be extremely hot in my bedroom in the early evening, but very cold in the middle of the night. This meant a blanket shoved to the bottom of the bed at first, only to be pulled up later. But each night, before it was, it was checked thoroughly for scorpions.

    Anyway, Sunday night, same scenario. 3 AM, I'm chilly, I want the blanket, but it needs an examination first. My roommate was asleep in the bed across the room, and so I didn't want to turn on the lamp. Instead, I turned on the bathroom light when I went to the pisser. Had it not been for that, the following events may have happened differently.

    (Host) Mama had told us to keep our shampoo bottle over the sink drain to prevent unwanted visitors, but this had apparently been forgotten. As I walked in, I heard scuttling sounds coming from the sink. I peered in and there before my eyes was a large black scorpion. It was scrambling around the sink while I looking on in horror. Once I shook off my temporary paralysis, I dashed back into the room and headed for the closet. I grabbed one of my shoes, then thought better of it and selected of my roommate's.

    When I returned to face the beast, he had stopped running around. I looked at him...he looked at me...a tumbleweed rolled by out in the road. Then I raised my weapon and brought it down upon my foe, knocking off a pincer. I struck again, but missed. I struck a third blow, and crushed my enemies' thorax. Winded, I left his corpse as an example to the others (and also, I didn't want to touch the icky thing) and headed out to the computer. There would be no more sleep that night.

    tl;dr: Fuck! A scorpion!

    MagnumCT on
  • marty_0001marty_0001 I am a file and you put documents in meRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    marty_0001 on
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    they actually make sure to obliterate any non human lifeforms on a spacecraft before it goes anywhere so as to prevent false findings of life in space

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    they actually make sure to obliterate any non human lifeforms on a spacecraft before it goes anywhere so as to prevent false findings of life in space

    They just want to make sure it isn't something like a rat or a spider that touches the giant monolith around Jupiter first.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    BYToady wrote: »
    they actually make sure to obliterate any non human lifeforms on a spacecraft before it goes anywhere so as to prevent false findings of life in space

    They just want to make sure it isn't something like a rat or a spider that touches the giant monolith around Jupiter first.

    also preventing the possibility of returning with giant mutant super spiders that would destroy civilization as we know it

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • StaxeonStaxeon Buffalo, NYRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    in space, no one can hear you scream for the orkin man

    Staxeon on
    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • StaxeonStaxeon Buffalo, NYRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    they actually make sure to obliterate any non human lifeforms on a spacecraft before it goes anywhere so as to prevent false findings of life in space

    no wonder all those dogs, monkeys, rats, fruit flies, earthworms, and croatians we send up for science experiments always come back dead.

    Staxeon on
    Invisible nap is the best nap of all time!
    No man should have that kind of power.
    (Twitter)
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So when Butler was here for PAX, I took him to the zoo with me one day afterwards. We're in the lizard building walking up to each small glass enclosure and leaning in closely, trying to find whatever we were supposed to be looking at. We've gone through about 15 of these or so and we're not even stepping away or anything just moving our faces from glass to glass.

    Finally I move to the last one in the row and I'm looking really close and not seeing any lizards and I think to myself, "what the hell am I supposed to be looking for, it just looks like a couple peices of bark?" I glance down at the nameplate on the exhibit quick.

    Brazilian cockroaches.

    "Brazilian cockroa...I don't see an...OH GOD THAT'S NOT BARK. OH GROSS. OH JESUS THAT'S SO GROSS. FUCK."

    I really think the zoo set me up, man.

    Jordyn on
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    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    In college I battled giant Georgia roaches (palmetto bugs) and wolf spiders which bear a striking resemblance to brown recluses (which are seriously poisonous).

    Did you know roaches can live for days without their head!? It's true!

    TankHammer on
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i just went to the San Diego Zoo for the first time yesterday.

    they've got a childrens' zoo section, and in that section they have an insect house. a good fifth of the house is filled with nothing but cockroach exhibits. giant hissing cockroaches. wood cockroaches. the friend i was with was thoroughly grossed out :D

    they also had a naked mole rat exhibit; basically it was a series of plastic tubes simulating a mole rat tunnel nest underground. the tubes themselves were inside a larger all-enclosed shack, with one large window so you can view inside. the description of the exhibit said that to avoid the mole rats from being alarmed by sudden strange noises (random humans), they constantly pump loud music inside the exhibit so that the rats have a familiar environment and can't hear the outside noises.

    i put my ear next to the glass to hear what music they were using. it was Lady Gaga, on full blast.

    fightinfilipino on
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    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I was at a store in India where I thought I saw a cockroach run across the floor. I told the store guy, and he smiled and said "You want to see a cockroach room?" He takes me and my uncle to the back and opens a door. It's almost pitch black, but it looks like the wall and the floor are moving. The store guy turns on the light.

    Floor, walls, ceiling, covered in giant cockroaches. Millions of them.

    Bloods End on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Whatshernames tits are so nice

    Fandyien on
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  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i just went to the San Diego Zoo for the first time yesterday.

    they've got a childrens' zoo section, and in that section they have an insect house. a good fifth of the house is filled with nothing but cockroach exhibits. giant hissing cockroaches. wood cockroaches. the friend i was with was thoroughly grossed out :D

    they also had a naked mole rat exhibit; basically it was a series of plastic tubes simulating a mole rat tunnel nest underground. the tubes themselves were inside a larger all-enclosed shack, with one large window so you can view inside. the description of the exhibit said that to avoid the mole rats from being alarmed by sudden strange noises (random humans), they constantly pump loud music inside the exhibit so that the rats have a familiar environment and can't hear the outside noises.

    i put my ear next to the glass to hear what music they were using. it was Lady Gaga, on full blast.

    Molerats have a damn good pokerface

    Constant expression of ARGH I'M ALL PINK AND HORRIBLE


    I am not bugphobic but I dislike being attacked by moths or finding a spider in an unexpected place in much the same way that I adore bunnies but I would take offense if one was to drop off the ceiling and cling to my face

    Edcrab on
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  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    One time I was kayaking with a friend of mine and I noticed something swimming around in the river. I grabbed my camera and had my friend scoop it up with their paddle. This is what is was (spoilered for big bug)
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    Once one of those big motherfuckers flew into me outside. Landed on my shoulder like some kind of insect-parrot.

    Abracadaniel on
  • JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    You may think space is safe from creepy crawlers, but NASA lost a spider on the International Space Station!

    (I know spiders aren't technically bugs, but it's close enough).

    JoeUser on
  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    once when I was like fourteen I took a nap in the woods around my house (I had spent weeks building a little shelter out of saplings and moss and dry twigs and old gasoline cans)


    anyways, I wake up and I move around a little, and look down at myself

    "How did it snow on me in the middle of july" was my first thought. But it wasn't snow.




    It was spider web.


    "POOR EYESIGHT," I shouted - in my head, just now - and got up. As I begin to brush myself off - "Gee I sure am itchy" and I start scratching. "This itch is weird," I think.

    I lift up my shirt.



    WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TINY TINY SPIDERS, WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE

    Bearstranaut on
    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    haha, you probably fell asleep on a soon-to-hatch egg.

    whoops.jpg

    Abracadaniel on
  • MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I put forth the motion to indeed make this a Starship Trooper thread.

    can I get a second?

    MagicPrime on
    BNet • magicprime#1430 | PSN/Steam • MagicPrime | Origin • FireSideWizard
    Critical Failures - Havenhold CampaignAugust St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    For the book perhaps, not the goddamned film

    GRAR GRAR ADAPTATION DECAY GRAR

    Edcrab on
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  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    nah, bugs are cool

    on a different kayaking trip, we found this awesome little hidden offshoot with all kinds of trees overhead.

    They looked like this
    2682146293_6566efb74f_b.jpg

    Why is that so strange? See all those branches and leaves clumped together?

    They were enormous communal spiderwebs
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    Abracadaniel on
  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    noooooooooooooooooooooooooo


    nooooooooooooooooooo





    nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Bearstranaut on
    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    We had to keep ducking our heads and checking to make sure we didn't have any stowaways.
    We did D:

    Abracadaniel on
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