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Hear ye hear ye, 12 year old father is now 13 year old cuckold

ButlerButler 89 episodes or bustRegistered User regular
edited April 2009 in Social Entropy++
Hooooooolyyyyyy shit
In a story that has read like something straight from Maury Povich or a bad soap opera, a DNA test has proved that Alfie Patten was not a father at 12-years-old, as was initially reported. The now 13-year-old Alfie is devastated, after taking the test and learning he is not the father of 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman's daughter Maisie, who he "adored."

...

Just days after the birth of Maisie, other potential fathers started stepping forward claiming they might be the father of the little girl, much to young Alfie's chagrin; "Other stupid boys are lying, saying bad things, like they have slept with Chantelle too. But I am the only boyfriend she has had and we've been together for two years, so I must be the dad. When she found out she was having a baby, I asked her 'Am I the dad?' and she went 'Yeah' so I believe her."


Should we feel... sorry for him? Happy for him? I don't even know.

Butler on
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Posts

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I feel sorry FOR YOU

    NotASenator on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Because I mean, come on, a guy as sexy as Butler? How does he even leave his house?

    NotASenator on
  • RobchamRobcham The Rabbit King of your pantsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    old news

    Robcham on
    her.gif
    Tumblr blargh
  • Auntie ShibbyAuntie Shibby Horrible Visalia, CARegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    Man, this boy is just weird. He has no idea what he's doing.

    Auntie Shibby on
    clowninthewoods.png
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Because I mean, come on, a guy as sexy as Butler? How does he even leave his house?

    Want to see my double-edged sword? :winky:

    Butler on
  • BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    In five years that kid is gonna be like

    "God damn dodged a bullet there - shit got real..."

    Bearstranaut on
    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
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  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    revolving door vagina

    Abracadaniel on
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm just confused that so many people wanted to sleep with that thing

    Grey Ghost on
    Bluesky|Cohost
  • MonstyMonsty Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Early puberty is a fun fun time.

    Jelly, pieces of meat, stuffed animals, a knothole in a tree... it doesn't matter. It all gets the job done.

    Monsty on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    look we've all had to fuck something we weren't proud of

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    This kid is going to grow up into a well adjusted young man.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    yo i heard you like children so we put a child in yo child so you can rear while you rear.

    Abracadaniel on
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    yo i heard you like children so we put a child in yo child so you can rear while you rear.

    Boooooooooooooooo!

    KrunkMcGrunk on
    mrsatansig.png
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    damn.. momma be ugly.

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    thread needs picture of parent and former parent, for reference

    Lockout on
    f24GSaF.jpg
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Wait, he's 13 and she's 15 and they've been together 2 years? Apparently he's not the only boyfriend she's had.

    This poor kid is fucking delusional. He has dodged a mighty ugly bullet and his parents need to remove the ogre beast with the revolving door vagina from his life permanently.

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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  • Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    A 13 year old with delusions? Preposterous.

    Sara Lynn on
  • AstraphobiaAstraphobia Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Root! Sleep! Death!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    look we've all had to fuck something we weren't proud of

    Are we including Fleshlights here?

    Astraphobia on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    where the hell are this kid's parents?

    Centipede Damascus on
    bluesky/tumblr
    eZB497F.jpg
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Centipede Damascus wrote: »
    where the hell are this kid's parents?

    Which parents? The parents of the 12 year old boy who gets to spend nights with his 15 year old girlfriend or the parents of the 15 year old Shrek look-a-like who has multiple boys staying over in her room at night.

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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  • AstraphobiaAstraphobia Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Root! Sleep! Death!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm surprised YouAreNotTheFather.gif from Maury hasn't made the rounds yet.

    Astraphobia on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Astraphobia wrote: »
    I'm surprised YouAreNotTheFather.gif from Maury hasn't made the rounds yet.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpYTOBHMKKg

    Butters on
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  • AstraphobiaAstraphobia Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Root! Sleep! Death!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Butters wrote: »
    Astraphobia wrote: »
    I'm surprised YouAreNotTheFather.gif from Maury hasn't made the rounds yet.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpYTOBHMKKg

    Oh that induced many stares from people in my lab.

    One of the louder guffaws I have produced while browsing SE++.

    Astraphobia on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    ps817lr9.gif

    #pipe on
    JvTDS.png
    Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Centipede Damascus wrote: »
    where the hell are this kid's parents?

    Which parents? The parents of the 12 year old boy who gets to spend nights with his 15 year old girlfriend or the parents of the 15 year old Shrek look-a-like who has multiple boys staying over in her room at night.

    I was mainly thinking of the former, but the latter is also valid

    Centipede Damascus on
    bluesky/tumblr
    eZB497F.jpg
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    But she was 5000% sure he was the father, so the DNA test is probably wrong.

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    That kid is lucky. Now he can use his pocket money for sweets instead of diapers and baby clothes.

    TankHammer on
    atlantaghostbusters.com
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    he can get back to all the playstationing he's been missing

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I can't wait till he has to take Sex-Ed in high school.

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    I can't wait till he has to take Sex-Ed in high school.

    And gets a B-

    Abracadaniel on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Seriously, this picture should be used to promote safe sex and/or abstinence

    alfie.jpg

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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  • RobchamRobcham The Rabbit King of your pantsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Robcham on
    her.gif
    Tumblr blargh
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Kid lucked out.

    He might not realize it, but he waayyy lucked out.

    MrMonroe on
    STEAM ID
  • SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    "Whats financially?"

    Solid.

    Sticks on
    STEAM
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    man my high school didn't have sex ed

    that's not a certainty he'll even get it, unfortunately

    Sara Lynn on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    I can't wait till he has to take Sex-Ed in high school.

    He'd be all like

    "No, that's not right! That's not how you make a baby! My girlfriend and I had a baby and it didn't involve any of that white stuff, we just slept in the same bed and sometimes she'd make me take my clothes off. This shite is bollocks!"

    TankHammer on
    atlantaghostbusters.com
  • JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    #pipe it is such a shame that got botp'd

    JohnHam on
    signature.png

  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So if the trend keeps going, the ugly chick's baby girl will be pregnant by nine yearls old, right?

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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  • SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    So if the trend keeps going, the ugly chick's baby girl will be pregnant by nine yearls old, right?

    With triplets.

    But don't worry. It will turn out the father of the ugly chick's girl's babies will be this kid and they can all go on Maury and live happily ever after.

    Sticks on
    STEAM
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Wait sex ed isn't in the 6th grade anymore?

    Butters on
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