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Hear ye hear ye, 12 year old father is now 13 year old cuckold

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Posts

  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    If Lincoln was two-faced why would he use that one?

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
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  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    BusterK wrote: »
    If Lincoln was two-faced why would he use that one?

    Because the back of his head looks like General Robert E Lee.

    The_Scarab on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    yo i heard you like children so we put a child in yo child so you can rear while you rear.

    smart hero have i told you

    lately

    that i love you

    Pony on
  • TamTam Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    BusterK wrote: »
    If Lincoln was two-faced why would he use that one?

    yes that's something he said

    Tam on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Oh God. How much more British could that poor mother look? She looks like a steamshovel fucked a bulldog and nine months later she fell out.

    aaaaahahahaha

    TheySlashThem on
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Did any of you guys have to watch a video of a woman giving birth? We watched it in seventh grade, and that shit will put you off of sex for a WHILE, let me tell you.

    Oh God ... repressed memories ...

    See, when I took sex ed, which was really just a dedicated quarter out of normal health class, even though this was 2005 we still only had a VHS for probably this same video. Well, our teacher was awesome nuts. A year later, when my gf went through the same class, she accidentally dropped a bottle of lube on a desk, some of it squirted on my gf (!), and the teacher made some kind of joke along the lines of "Sorry, I'm new to the pornography business" or whathaveyou. She was also hot, so this made things awkward when she's demonstrating things such as the condom-on-a-banana trick *ta-da!*. Anyways, when the tape was done, instead of just turning off the TV, she rewinds it! Oh God it's like a Baby-eating Hoover! And then she fast-forwarded ... and rewound it ... and fast-forwarded again ... it was hilariously sickening. Don't get me wrong, I understand the whole "yeah it's kind of bloody yet miraculous" thing and yeah I'll definitely be in the room when my future-wife has a kid, but I do NOT want to see it go back in. Ever.

    MetroidZoid on
    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Catholic School.

    Apparently masturbating will send you straight to hell.

    Up until the 17th century so would having a wet dream.

    Wrench N Rockets on
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  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Catholic School.

    Apparently masturbating will send you straight to hell.

    Up until the 17th century so would having a wet dream.

    Is there a place worse then hell? I would be there

    Dixon on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Oh God it's like a Baby-eating Hoover!

    SHLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLORP

    TheySlashThem on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Dixon wrote: »
    Catholic School.

    Apparently masturbating will send you straight to hell.

    Up until the 17th century so would having a wet dream.

    Is there a place worse then hell? I would be there

    Illinois

    The_Scarab on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Aww, that kid is so cute and sad in his interviews. I kind of feel bad for him that he was not the illegitimate father of a child conceived while he was only 12 years old

    He and I are the same in that way.

    Fiz on
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  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I was five-years-old when my stepfather explained, in graphic detail, what sex was.

    Apparently I asked.

    I was self taught at five.

    My sister who was older asked so my parents bought some of those books where did you come from and all that. I, being a nosey five year old wanted to know what was going on but was told it didn't concern me.

    I then found where those books were stashed and read them myself.

    They must have been pretty good as I don't think I had any major misconceptions about where babies came from and never needed to ask.

    Blake T on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    I was five-years-old when my stepfather explained, in graphic detail, what sex was.

    Apparently I asked.

    I was self taught at five.

    My sister who was older asked so my parents bought some of those books where did you come from and all that. I, being a nosey five year old wanted to know what was going on but was told it didn't concern me.

    I then found where those books were stashed and read them myself.

    They must have been pretty good as I don't think I had any major misconceptions about where babies came from and never needed to ask.

    yeah i had this

    The Black Hunter on
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Were they those "Where did I come from?" books? I remember the illustrations of how sex worked used this fat middle-aged couple, and the whole time they were doing it they had these calm, pleasant smiles like someone had just handed them a nice cup of tea.

    Butler on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Somehow your sig imposed itself on my reading ability and so I read that post while imaging that the fat, happy middle-aged couple were going at it while one of them suddenly yelled FEEL THE POWER OF TIAMAT IN YOUR RECTUM

    Edcrab on
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  • ObsObs __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    haha holy shit

    Obs on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    you know what was good to stumble upon at 9 years of age?

    The Joy of Sex

    Mysst on
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  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I found my mom's book on babies and pregnancy and my dad's porn stash within a few months of each other when I was 12.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I bet at least one of those was strategically placed so you'd find it.

    Fandyien on
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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    you know what was good to stumble upon at 9 years of age?

    The Joy of Sex With extremely hairy man edition


    That book is still werid even though Ihave done some of the stuff in it that was really werid

    Brainleech on
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I never got the talk.

    I'm still waiting for it.

    MikeRyu on
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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I had sex ed when I was in 4 or 5th grade and again when I moved to Cheyenne in 9th grade which was far more akward the second time around

    It was werid to have the STD class in gym when I was a senior

    The Std class in the Marines is funny and somewhat horrifying

    Brainleech on
  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Can someone give me the 'birds and the bees' talk?

    Like, does a parent tell you about birds and bees fucking?

    I don't understand how that talk would make things less confusing

    Bedigunz on
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    Coran Attack!
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    No the birds and bees do it with the stalk who is the surrogate mother.

    MikeRyu on
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  • ObsObs __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    I don't understand where the concept of "birds" and "bees" originated from.

    Obs on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    No the birds and bees do it with the stalk who is the surrogate mother.

    That is the world's bestest mispelling

    I refuse to believe it is not intentional because I am laughing my ass off at the idea of an ancient primordial being who is the stalker and also part of the breeding conspiracy

    The Stalk

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • VicVic Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Obs wrote: »
    I don't understand where the concept of "birds" and "bees" originated from.

    Yeah, it makes no sense.

    "Like, imagine the men are like the trees, ok? And you want to get the honey from them. Let's imagine the honey is money. So you want to get the money, but to get it you have to get splashed by their sperm first, ok? But you still don't have enough money so you need to get the women's money too, and to do that you need to climb into her vagina. And when you do, some of the sperm on your legs is rubbed off, and she becomes pregnant. Also, the women have dicks."

    Vic on
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    I never got the talk.

    I'm still waiting for it.

    In the meantime are you just paralysed with fear thinking about peepees and seabiscuits and not knowing what to do with them?

    SporkAndrew on
    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Edcrab wrote: »
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    No the birds and bees do it with the stalk who is the surrogate mother.

    That is the world's bestest mispelling

    I refuse to believe it is not intentional because I am laughing my ass off at the idea of an ancient primordial being who is the stalker and also part of the breeding conspiracy

    The Stalk

    Ah, I'm funny only when I make an ass of myself. I know which direction my future in comedy is going to lead.

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    I never got the talk.

    I'm still waiting for it.

    In the meantime are you just paralysed with fear thinking about peepees and seabiscuits and not knowing what to do with them?

    To be honest this whole sex thing is just absolutely terrifying.

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Obs wrote: »
    I don't understand where the concept of "birds" and "bees" originated from.

    birds do it, bees do it
    Even educated fleas do it
    Let's do it, let's fall in love!

    Centipede Damascus on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Birds have crazy long penises

    Fandyien on
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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Insects have crazy long penises

    Brainleech on
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    I never got the talk.

    I'm still waiting for it.

    In the meantime are you just paralysed with fear thinking about peepees and seabiscuits and not knowing what to do with them?

    To be honest this whole sex thing is just absolutely terrifying.

    Especially when for the longest time you think baby making happens during open-mouthed kissing because of Look Who's Talking.

    Thinking about the logistics of that still makes me queasy.

    SporkAndrew on
    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    I never got the talk.

    I'm still waiting for it.

    In the meantime are you just paralysed with fear thinking about peepees and seabiscuits and not knowing what to do with them?

    To be honest this whole sex thing is just absolutely terrifying.

    Especially when for the longest time you think baby making happens during open-mouthed kissing because of Look Who's Talking.

    Thinking about the logistics of that still makes me queasy.

    Gah! That movie is so confusing!!

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    MikeRyu wrote: »
    Gah! That movie is so confusing!!

    For so long I thought it was like throwing up into someone's mouth except with sperm.

    SporkAndrew on
    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Indians have crazy long penises

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Trips-on-Foreskin, the great apache warrior

    Fandyien on
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  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Trips-on-Foreskin, the great apache warrior

    Wrong indians.

    Red dots, not woo woos.

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
  • eric.eric. __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Trips-on-Foreskin, the great apache warrior

    Wrong indians.

    Red dots, not woo woos.


    so

    racist

    eric. on
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