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lostwords
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey dudes,
okay, this saturday, my roommates are getting married. I'm the best man, and the problem is that I have no clue what I should say in my best man speech during the reception.
Should I keep it short and sweet? Should I make a powerpoint presentation with pictures and animated gifs? Should I make dirty jokes? Insult family members? talk about her badonadonk?
every other wedding, i usually tune out when people are talking, so i really have no clue what to say, other than crap i see in movies, which probably isn't the best basis of this. I don't want to accidentally insult the bride somehow, because she can totally kick my ass. and I don't wanna get too sappy either, thats lame. so yeah, help a brother out here.
also, its an afternoon wedding with open bar, so wooooo weddings
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naknaknaknaknak
the sound board ass one in particular would be bad
When one of my oldest friends got married a year and a half ago, the speech I gave got left in the hotel room (along with my ID, which meant that I got to toast with sparkling cider, and what the fuck is that about). I off-the-cuffed something, but seriously, pen something honest about why it's really awesome that these two particular people are getting married. You live with them both, so you should know them well enough. Use a funny story about them together as an example for their strengths as a couple. Presto, speech.
I'm officiating a friend's ceremony in September and have fuck all of a clue what to say, so I feel your pain here.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
I'm going to rock the mic like you wouldn't fucking believe.
Nobody gives a shit. Nobody.
Be sober when you speak. Have something written down, talk about the couple, be funny, be sweet and then step the hell away from the mic.
There were high fives afterward. His wife was in tears (the good kind), he was laughing and yep...woo.
Don't tell old stories about shit you did when you were kids because no one cares.
Don't drink to much because you'll sound like an asshole.
Don't talk to long because, again, no one cares.
Keep it short and sweet, say something nice about the couple, toast to their future, and hand the mic off to the maid of honor.
That way when she drones on and on about when she met the bride and how crazy their hair was in junior high everyone in the room will say, "At least the best man gave a good toast."
dang, ok, i'll probably stick with this template. good job, munkus.
and yeah, brevity seems to be the order of the day. yadda yadda something about the caps, yadda yadda our cats kick ass yadda yadda i love y'alls
i'm just trying to avoid blurting somethign like "woooo, i thought you'd never get married, brah. thank goodness you found someone to settle with you" which would insult both of them in one go.
Best man
Maid of honor
Me
Best man gave a speech of about 20 seconds that referenced the groom being gassy and smelling bad, that he loved them both and handed over the mic.
The Maid of Honor took all the letter's in the bride's first name and associated a word that described the bride with each.
I didn't suck.
This is true. Everyone wants to get back to drinking and not hearing how you thought he'd never settle down with all the partying in college man we were so young man awesome dude broseph
B.net: Kusanku
Hah. No.
The Reverend wasn't around back then.
Also say something nice about the brides mother. You'll be doing her in the bathroom later.
Basically, do something that fits the guests that'll be there. If they're an audience who will laugh at a few jokes and funny pictures, by all means do that. If they'd be better with something a bit more 'heartwarming' and the like, don't go for dick jokes.
edit: but yeah, no Princess Bride thread? What gives?
People who don't like the Princess Bride are either liars or terrible people OR BOTH.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
"I've got a boner" - McLovin, Superbad
B.net: Kusanku
My mom doesn't wanna watch it because it looks like "a stupid adventury boy movie."
Ironic.
What no I can't let that slide. I'm hilarious and people care about me, drool, you've got it all wrong!
Golly drool you sure messed up this time.
On the black screen
yeah, same here! My mom thinks i'm hilarious
I don't think so.
and as for reception speeches, short and sweet with a little bit of humor is the way to go
tell her she's commited one of the classic blunders
Alternatively
I WOULD NOT SAY SUCH THINGS IF I WERE YOOOOU. :x
now come to bed and massage my corns
I will have my mother personally write a recommendation of the movie for your mother. Put the pressure on and all.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN