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white on white on searing red [ASHES]

245

Posts

  • Shifty FisterShifty Fister Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I might be more interested in cricket if that were the ca- no wait I would still find it dull as shit.

    Shifty Fister on
  • RocketScienceRocketScience Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The queen hides the rules, which were drunkenly written down on a napkin one drizzly england night by a rambling alcoholic, under a fold in her crown.

    That is by no means the only copy of the rules, but it's the only copy that counts.

    Any cricketer may challenge the decision of the umpire and ask for an official consultation of the rules, which actually involves a detachment being sent to the royal palaces to ask the Queen herself for a ruling. However, should the challenge be overruled then the penalty is execution, the nature of which is decided by the Queen.

    The Queen has never ruled on the side of the challenger in the entire history of the game and as such challenges to the umpire's decision have become increasingly rare whilst the nature of the punishment has become increasingly cruel.

    They did bring in the tennis style challenge system a while ago for the sole purpose of making Mark Boucher look like an idiot. Have they still got it?

    RocketScience on
  • RocketScienceRocketScience Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Man, espn vomited all over the old cricinfo site.
    I'm going to go to circinfo.com instead

    RocketScience on
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    hey so wait why wasn't i informed about this

    i can't possibly expect that it'll be any good but a man can dream

    bsjezz on
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  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The queen hides the rules, which were drunkenly written down on a napkin one drizzly england night by a rambling alcoholic, under a fold in her crown.

    That is by no means the only copy of the rules, but it's the only copy that counts.

    Any cricketer may challenge the decision of the umpire and ask for an official consultation of the rules, which actually involves a detachment being sent to the royal palaces to ask the Queen herself for a ruling. However, should the challenge be overruled then the penalty is execution, the nature of which is decided by the Queen.

    The Queen has never ruled on the side of the challenger in the entire history of the game and as such challenges to the umpire's decision have become increasingly rare whilst the nature of the punishment has become increasingly cruel.

    They did bring in the tennis style challenge system a while ago for the sole purpose of making Mark Boucher look like an idiot. Have they still got it?

    no challenges allowed in the ashes

    it's a shit system anyway

    Sunday_Assassin on
  • RocketScienceRocketScience Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The queen hides the rules, which were drunkenly written down on a napkin one drizzly england night by a rambling alcoholic, under a fold in her crown.

    That is by no means the only copy of the rules, but it's the only copy that counts.

    Any cricketer may challenge the decision of the umpire and ask for an official consultation of the rules, which actually involves a detachment being sent to the royal palaces to ask the Queen herself for a ruling. However, should the challenge be overruled then the penalty is execution, the nature of which is decided by the Queen.

    The Queen has never ruled on the side of the challenger in the entire history of the game and as such challenges to the umpire's decision have become increasingly rare whilst the nature of the punishment has become increasingly cruel.

    They did bring in the tennis style challenge system a while ago for the sole purpose of making Mark Boucher look like an idiot. Have they still got it?

    no challenges allowed in the ashes

    it's a shit system anyway

    Good, it was horrible.

    RocketScience on
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The queen hides the rules, which were drunkenly written down on a napkin one drizzly england night by a rambling alcoholic, under a fold in her crown.

    That is by no means the only copy of the rules, but it's the only copy that counts.

    Any cricketer may challenge the decision of the umpire and ask for an official consultation of the rules, which actually involves a detachment being sent to the royal palaces to ask the Queen herself for a ruling. However, should the challenge be overruled then the penalty is execution, the nature of which is decided by the Queen.

    The Queen has never ruled on the side of the challenger in the entire history of the game and as such challenges to the umpire's decision have become increasingly rare whilst the nature of the punishment has become increasingly cruel.

    They did bring in the tennis style challenge system a while ago for the sole purpose of making Mark Boucher look like an idiot. Have they still got it?

    no challenges allowed in the ashes

    it's a shit system anyway

    Good, it was horrible.

    With rules like that, I'm convinced that cricket is an English in-joke.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    two innings per team, each innings with unlimited overs and ten wickets in hand. days are divided into three sessions, with breaks for lunch and tea. often matches a played from a thursday or friday across the weekend, though they don't always last the full five days

    bsjezz on
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  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    bsjezz wrote: »
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    two innings per team, each innings with unlimited overs and ten wickets in hand. days are divided into three sessions, with breaks for lunch and tea. often matches a played from a thursday or friday across the weekend, though they don't always last the full five days

    I have no idea what any of that means.

    Dumb it down for me, doc.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    bsjezz wrote: »
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    two innings per team, each innings with unlimited overs and ten wickets in hand. days are divided into three sessions, with breaks for lunch and tea. often matches a played from a thursday or friday across the weekend, though they don't always last the full five days

    I have no idea what any of that means.

    Dumb it down for me, doc.

    when they end for the day, the score carries over to the next morning, see

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2009
    It's a game of endurance.

    None of the players are allowed to drink during the duration of the game, the last team (or man) standing wins. On average, a human can survive three days without water so matches usually last around five days as they train for dehydration endurance and tend to re-ingest some bodily fluids (sweat, urine etc).

    The hitting balls and running around really has no rules except they must keep throwing, hitting and catching balls and generally running around to minimise fluids conservation.

    This is why they stop for rain, if they let them play in the rain, games could potentially stretch out for weeks as they'd be able to ingest the rain water.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    Think baseball without strikes.

    L|ama on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    Ah I was wondering how there wasn't any discussion on cricket with so many Aussies and Brits here.

    Well here it is.

    Killjoy on
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2009
    One recent challenge, must've been around 1987 as I recall, involved a player hugging one of his team mates. As he did so, the umpire noticed him licking some sweat off the team mate's face. This is clearly in violation of the rules, so the umpire was going to penalise them. The player challenge the decision, the Queen was consulted, she found in favour of the umpire and sentenced the player to death by overconsumption of water.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    bsjezz wrote: »
    bsjezz wrote: »
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    two innings per team, each innings with unlimited overs and ten wickets in hand. days are divided into three sessions, with breaks for lunch and tea. often matches a played from a thursday or friday across the weekend, though they don't always last the full five days

    I have no idea what any of that means.

    Dumb it down for me, doc.

    when they end for the day, the score carries over to the next morning, see

    Is it that they play for a couple hours a day, then just resume play the next day? Meaning, most of the day is spent not playing cricket.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
    mrsatansig.png
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    bsjezz wrote: »
    bsjezz wrote: »
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    two innings per team, each innings with unlimited overs and ten wickets in hand. days are divided into three sessions, with breaks for lunch and tea. often matches a played from a thursday or friday across the weekend, though they don't always last the full five days

    I have no idea what any of that means.

    Dumb it down for me, doc.

    when they end for the day, the score carries over to the next morning, see

    Is it that they play for a couple hours a day, then just resume play the next day? Meaning, most of the day is spent not playing cricket.

    each session is two hours long, so they play for six hours a day

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2009
    Unlike Alanis Morissette, the Queen understands the meaning of the word irony.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    bsjezz wrote: »
    bsjezz wrote: »
    bsjezz wrote: »
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    two innings per team, each innings with unlimited overs and ten wickets in hand. days are divided into three sessions, with breaks for lunch and tea. often matches a played from a thursday or friday across the weekend, though they don't always last the full five days

    I have no idea what any of that means.

    Dumb it down for me, doc.

    when they end for the day, the score carries over to the next morning, see

    Is it that they play for a couple hours a day, then just resume play the next day? Meaning, most of the day is spent not playing cricket.

    each session is two hours long, so they play for six hours a day

    During this six hours, there is no set amount of throws/catches/hits, it's just what ends up fitting in, correct?

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    szech is describing a game that is enormously more interesting than actual cricket here people

    Snowbeat on
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  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I would be all over Cricket if it were like that.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I watched this in 2006 while in Sydney. It was both incredibly boring and completely fascinating.

    Doodmann on
    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    I like to ART
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    That's the impression that I get.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    During this six hours, there is no set amount of throws/catches/hits, it's just what ends up fitting in, correct?

    Yep. Bowling (throwing) is done in sets of six balls (throws), called an over.

    Killjoy on
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Killjoy wrote: »
    During this six hours, there is no set amount of throws/catches/hits, it's just what ends up fitting in, correct?

    Yep. Bowling (throwing) is done in sets of six balls (throws), called an over.

    A one day match is limited to 50 of these for each team, a twenty/20 match is 20 overs each.




    It's similar to baseball in many ways, except the batter stays at home after a run, and there's only two bases, and the pitcher pitches from the second base and does it overarm, and there's 2 batters at a time so you only have to run to the other base and not back.

    L|ama on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    L|ama wrote: »
    Killjoy wrote: »
    During this six hours, there is no set amount of throws/catches/hits, it's just what ends up fitting in, correct?

    Yep. Bowling (throwing) is done in sets of six balls (throws), called an over.

    A one day match is limited to 50 of these for each team, a twenty/20 match is 20 overs each.

    A ball that makes it to the boundary without bouncing is six runs. If it touches the ground on the way, it's four.

    Killjoy on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I like the part where they stole the robot's leg

    Metalbourne on
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Killjoy wrote: »
    L|ama wrote: »
    Killjoy wrote: »
    During this six hours, there is no set amount of throws/catches/hits, it's just what ends up fitting in, correct?

    Yep. Bowling (throwing) is done in sets of six balls (throws), called an over.

    A one day match is limited to 50 of these for each team, a twenty/20 match is 20 overs each.

    A ball that makes it to the boundary without bouncing is six runs. If it touches the ground on the way, it's four.

    Or to make it like baseball again, a home run is a 6 but you still get 4 if it bounces.

    If they catch it and land past the boundary instead of getting the batter out, they get whatever they were going to get anyway.

    L|ama on
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    it's a game that's hard to understand because of the sheer scope of the big fields. when you condense it down to, like, the size of a boxing ring it gets a lot easier to get a hold of:

    all-in cricket

    bsjezz on
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  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    It also combines with rugby pretty well

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zarc4czxHXY

    L|ama on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Explain how a match can last five days.

    because we know people like to watch sport.

    So we made it as long as possible.

    Blake T on
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The more I hear, the more it sounds like Blurnball, or whatever it was from Futurama.

    KrunkMcGrunk on
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  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The more I hear, the more it sounds like Blurnball, or whatever it was from Futurama.

    Cricket is actually awesome to watch. Test Cricket that is. I mean yeah, it lasts a week and goes on for hours and hours. But back when I last saw the ashes which was I dunno 5 years ago or something when it was up at Lords, the tickets for the last few days cost nothing, they just let people in from the street, and you could drink anything in the stands and there were jazz bands and shit. Heck we were sitting next to a group of a dozen aussie blokes who were all in gold clothing and there was no hostility, it was just one big party.

    I'd imagine it was even better at the Cricket World Cup. Some of the grounds fronted onto pristine white sand beaches. Like, some people were hitting sixes out of the park and into the fucking Caribbean sea.

    The_Scarab on
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Can't wait for Saturday to roll around so I can just sit in the pub from morning until evening watching cricket.

    Damn, I love watching some cricket especially the ashes.

    Bad-Beat on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Don't they have a mathematical formula to figure out the outcome of a cricket game at a certain point?

    Metalbourne on
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    well you can estimate the amount of overs reamining and work out the average run rate required from that.

    there's also something called the duckworth/lewis method but that doesn't apply to a five day test match.

    Bad-Beat on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Szech you are a delight.

    Also, I find it hard to watch cricket unless it's summer.

    Nothing like kicking back with a beer and some BBQ whilst the cricket is on.

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    What the hell happened yesterday? When I stopped listening it was England's day.

    Wake up this morning and the Aussies are 249-1 and favourites to take the match.

    Nothing beats cricket commentary on a lazy Friday morning. Two guys chatting about whatever comes to mind. Occasionally they mention cricket.

    "If legal pads are yellow, what colour are illegal pads?"

    Brilliant

    Sunday_Assassin on
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    i always thought tony grieg and richie benaut were enough for a colourful commentary box

    where has michael holding been all these years? making up for those other two drones, i suppose

    bsjezz on
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  • Sunday_AssassinSunday_Assassin Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Freddie + new ball

    yay

    need a wicket

    Sunday_Assassin on
This discussion has been closed.