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Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Stories

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Posts

  • JeanJean Papa bear Gatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My own story is not really crazy... I think ''fucking lame'' would be a better way to describe it.

    Anyways here goes :

    I started dating this girl in late June this year. For the first 2 or so weeks, everything is wonderful but then she starts avoiding me, never returning my calls and typical high school junk like that even tough we're speaking of a 22 years old girl here.

    She keeps making excuses as to why she can't spend time with me, but I quickly realise it's all a bunch of bullshit and I call her on that and she at least had the decency to admit it was, indeed, bullshit.

    We plan a meeting 5 days in advance so we can try to work things out. She email me 30 minutes before the scheduled time to inform me she's not coming, for once again what are completely BS reasons. They're was no way I could possibly had read this email in time, as I was already on my way to the rendez-vous point when it was sent. It's not like she doesn't know my cell phone number, but she never called.

    Needless to say, I'm fucking furious at that point. I call and call because I want to know what the fuck is going on, but I never reach her or anyone for the matter. I finally somehow manage to reach her father and he spend 30 minutes speaking with me, telling me the whole truth which can basically be summed up as: She's not that into you anymore.

    I then exchange a few emails with her later that day, telling her about the convo I had with her father and all.. she say she's sorry about what happened but I call BS. At that point I don't care about the relationship anymore, I just want the misery to end. I broke up with her by email. Fucking lame I know, but after being stood up like that I didn't feel like being courteous to her. The day afterwards, we speak on MSN. She tries to get back with me but I very bluntly rejected her. We haven't spoken since.

    The end.

    Jean on
    "You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
  • DynagripDynagrip destroy everything you touch Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2009
    Uh, I think you're the crazy one in that equation.

    Dynagrip on
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  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Uh, I think you're the crazy one in that equation.

    PeregrineFalcon on
    Looking for a DX:HR OnLive code for my kid brother.
    Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Yeah Jean, as lame as it may have been on her part, you failed to take the hint, and then you went all crazy stalker blowing up a phone for (hours? Anything more than twice is creepy.)

    Ludious on
  • JeanJean Papa bear Gatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Wait what.. you calling me crazy because I wanted an explanation of why I got stood up?

    Please note it's not like I was calling every 5 minutes.. more like every 3 hours or so.

    Jean on
    "You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Oh yea- got another one...tame in comparison to some of the others, but if you treat "crazy" as a word meaning "cruel for no reason and generally an obstinate bitch" I have another story!

    Well after I got dumped for a guy my girlfriend met on WoW that lived several states away, I felt pretty bad. But an old flame (who I had been on-again off-again with for a while, we will call her Pepper) gave me a call and said she was passing through my way to visit some family.

    Well I was excited about this and immediately invited her over to hang out on campus and catch up.
    Some more backstory- I had known this girl and had a thing for her since they day I met her ten years ago. Her parents and mine were close friends, and so the way we hung out everyone assumed that eventually we would just end up together.

    However, she was very pretty, and let it get to her head. What I mean is- she KNEW I was infatuated with her all throughout my adolescent life, and she played me bad several times. A lot of it was forgive in retrospect because we were not much more than children, but she did things that hurt a lot (like telling me she would "think about" going to a dance with me, then taking someone I didn't like, only to ditch him during the dance, kiss me once, and then leave) and I still followed her around like a puppy for most of my teenage years.

    I was young and "in love" so eh. I grew up a lot at University, enough to see through her bullshit. And she seemed like she had given up her ways and wanted to at least bury the romantic hatchet so to speak. So we are hanging out at my University when she comes up there, and we eventually bring up the sticky subject of our past relationships. She tells me that she is essentially over me, and that we are not ever going to work out as a couple. As I had grown enough to be able to handle this news, I was relieved to have closure. As an aside, she offers a friendly hand to hook me up with her roomate (who I had known and messed around with a bit before, but nothing too serious, referred to as <3). She claims that we will make a good pair.

    So I think this is rad, agree to come down and go on a date. Long story short, <3 and I really really hit it off again (I am now actually engaged to her, yay!). However, it turns out that Pepper really had no intention of letting me go, and this whole set up was an excuse for her to get back at her <3 for something (I don't know what still) and to make a couple other guys she knew jealous. Meaning that a few months after our first date when <3 and I are hanging out at her house, Pepper continuously tries to insert herself into my pants. In front of the girl I am now dating. I mean, I woke up one morning and was eating cereal on the couch, and Pepper comes up, moves the cereal bowl, sits on my lap and just starts cuddling. My girlfriend was asleep in the other room. Now I am not a man to cheat, so I kindly told her to get off. Then I informed her that I was exclusively seeing <3 now, and she should get used to it. And besides, hadn't she wanted to "bury the relationship hatchet"?

    This is when things break down- She gets really upset that she can't manipulate me, and gets even madder that I am not following her around like a lovesick teenager (as I was neither lovesick nor a teenager anymore). She proceeds to chat very openly on the phone and to our mutual friends via myspace and facebook about how annoying <3 and I are. Best point- <3 and I got in a very bad automobile accident and <3's lung was punctured. Doctors warned that after healing it may re-collapse at any time, and to be ready to drive her to the emergency room. Well it DID re-collapse one night and Pepper refused to drive her to the hospital. (I lived a few hours away) My girlfriend had to call someone to come drive her to the hospital on a motorcycle because her roomate was too mad about <3 "Stealing me from her".

    Add into this drama that the girl who left me for "WoW-boy" kept giving me shit all year (we lived in a co-ed dorm, so she was right down the hall) for "moving on so quickly" and my Junior year was a barrel of fun.

    Arch on
  • KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Do we actually have to have dated them? I was lucky enough to cut it off before I actually started dating the crazy guys I was interested in.

    The closest I have is that my longest relationship before I met my husband started when I was 10. And lasted four years.

    And Jean, yeah, you are the crazy one. Everyone here knew why you were blown off long before you got to the end of the story. She broke up with you (effectively) when she started giving you bullshit excuses.

    EDIT: yeah, I completely missed the two week thing. That just makes you look even crazier.

    Kistra on
    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
  • TheMarshalTheMarshal Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My normally quite sane fiance one time called me 27 times in the span of an hour because I didn't answer (because my cell phone was dead).

    I've got actual crazy stories, but there was no relationship involved, since everything was occurring online and/or over the phone.

    TheMarshal on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    syndalis wrote: »
    My story is pretty fucked up... haven't seen one that beats this level of crazy yet...

    I started looking at all manners of religion in my late teens and early 20s, having completely discarded Catholocism. I checked out Buddhism, Islam, Shinto, other flavors of Christianity, Voodoo.... you name it, I went there. I even read LaVey's writings (Satanic Bible) out of curiosity, since I had basically thrown everything out the window.

    It was a few years after my initial looking around that I ran into a girl at a V:tM LARP (yeah yeah, laugh at me all you want) I was playing at the time. We will call her D. D was very new-agey, open to all kinds of things (which definitely piqued my current interests at the time)... and we hit it off immediately. Thus, through her, i ran into Tantra, Reiki, Crystal bullshit, Alien/UFO nutjobs, and native american spirituality. It was (what felt like) a fun, monogamous, and deep relationship. I had thanksgiving with her out of state family, for the love of god...

    On our two year anniversary, I learned something pretty significant.

    She was with somebody else.

    Not just *with* somebody else, but she was a servant to that somebody else. As in Master/Slave, for the whole time I had been in the relationship. Not just a *slave* to somebody else, but a full-out submissive sex slave (something that didn't match her bedroom antics AT ALL). And the final bing cherry on this sundae of bullshit? She was convinced that particular someone else was an alien from another planet.

    So, you see this is the deal. this guy (Ken was his name... though he had another name like gleepdoglurp or something to that effect), managed to buffalo a group of women, aged 18-35, into believing he was an alien who possesed the body of poor ken, and was using him as a vessel to impart mysteries of the universe to them. these women were all given a choice. Many years of hard study, meditation, and prayer to reach a level at which they could ascend from the planet.... or a few years of good deep dicking. they apparently all chose the latter. This sex cult of his ALSO mowed his lawn, cleaned his house, and paid his bills, as he "didn't understand the world that he has been placed on." So, they would rotate shifts of time with him... go to his house for an after noon or an evening... sometimes the whole group would show up, smoke pot, and have an orgy. I knew none of this because it fell in line with all of her other new-age activities that she would go to one of the friends' houses and do their thing. But needless to say, that dude is the worlds greatest scam artist, and he has been riding my now ex-girlfriend for all it was worth. The relationship ended on the spot.

    That same weekend, I drove my truck into a ditch, fucked it up, and lost my job. [/country song]. Bad week.

    Did this Ken guy also go by Mr. Manson?

    I think this wins so far for craziest story, because it involves real crazy beyond emotional issues.

    And yes, Jean, you overreacted in that situation. Even if she didn't break up with you in a very mature way, your response was on equal footing with her behavior.

    Nocturne on
  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I was going more for the angle of it was two weeks, you're barely considered "dating" at that point and surely aren't exclusive.

    PeregrineFalcon on
    Looking for a DX:HR OnLive code for my kid brother.
    Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.

    Ludious on
  • GammarahGammarah Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Arch wrote: »
    Oh yea- got another one...tame in comparison to some of the others, but if you treat "crazy" as a word meaning "cruel for no reason and generally an obstinate bitch" I have another story!

    Well after I got dumped for a guy my girlfriend met on WoW that lived several states away, I felt pretty bad. But an old flame (who I had been on-again off-again with for a while, we will call her Pepper) gave me a call and said she was passing through my way to visit some family.

    Well I was excited about this and immediately invited her over to hang out on campus and catch up.
    Some more backstory- I had known this girl and had a thing for her since they day I met her ten years ago. Her parents and mine were close friends, and so the way we hung out everyone assumed that eventually we would just end up together.

    However, she was very pretty, and let it get to her head. What I mean is- she KNEW I was infatuated with her all throughout my adolescent life, and she played me bad several times. A lot of it was forgive in retrospect because we were not much more than children, but she did things that hurt a lot (like telling me she would "think about" going to a dance with me, then taking someone I didn't like, only to ditch him during the dance, kiss me once, and then leave) and I still followed her around like a puppy for most of my teenage years.

    I was young and "in love" so eh. I grew up a lot at University, enough to see through her bullshit. And she seemed like she had given up her ways and wanted to at least bury the romantic hatchet so to speak. So we are hanging out at my University when she comes up there, and we eventually bring up the sticky subject of our past relationships. She tells me that she is essentially over me, and that we are not ever going to work out as a couple. As I had grown enough to be able to handle this news, I was relieved to have closure. As an aside, she offers a friendly hand to hook me up with her roomate (who I had known and messed around with a bit before, but nothing too serious, referred to as <3). She claims that we will make a good pair.

    So I think this is rad, agree to come down and go on a date. Long story short, <3 and I really really hit it off again (I am now actually engaged to her, yay!). However, it turns out that Pepper really had no intention of letting me go, and this whole set up was an excuse for her to get back at her <3 for something (I don't know what still) and to make a couple other guys she knew jealous. Meaning that a few months after our first date when <3 and I are hanging out at her house, Pepper continuously tries to insert herself into my pants. In front of the girl I am now dating. I mean, I woke up one morning and was eating cereal on the couch, and Pepper comes up, moves the cereal bowl, sits on my lap and just starts cuddling. My girlfriend was asleep in the other room. Now I am not a man to cheat, so I kindly told her to get off. Then I informed her that I was exclusively seeing <3 now, and she should get used to it. And besides, hadn't she wanted to "bury the relationship hatchet"?

    This is when things break down- She gets really upset that she can't manipulate me, and gets even madder that I am not following her around like a lovesick teenager (as I was neither lovesick nor a teenager anymore). She proceeds to chat very openly on the phone and to our mutual friends via myspace and facebook about how annoying <3 and I are. Best point- <3 and I got in a very bad automobile accident and <3's lung was punctured. Doctors warned that after healing it may re-collapse at any time, and to be ready to drive her to the emergency room. Well it DID re-collapse one night and Pepper refused to drive her to the hospital. (I lived a few hours away) My girlfriend had to call someone to come drive her to the hospital on a motorcycle because her roomate was too mad about <3 "Stealing me from her".

    Add into this drama that the girl who left me for "WoW-boy" kept giving me shit all year (we lived in a co-ed dorm, so she was right down the hall) for "moving on so quickly" and my Junior year was a barrel of fun.

    That's... quite crazy. Probably would have won this thread if it wasn't for the alien sex cult thing.

    Gammarah on
  • JeanJean Papa bear Gatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I was going more for the angle of it was two weeks, you're barely considered "dating" at that point and surely aren't exclusive.

    I should had mentionned that, but yes we were exclusive by mutual agreement.

    Jean on
    "You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
  • SteevLSteevL What can I do for you? Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    That Alien Cult Guy story is hilarious/sad.

    Fortunately I don't really have any ex- stories to share. I did have a really close friend who I was obsessed with even though I knew she would not be good for me, but this is more her story. I met her when she was engaged just out of high school about 14 years ago, then she cheated on her fiance, then she jumped from one different group to another. I remember her hanging out with some kind of creepy pagan guy for a while and she told me he performed a "cleansing" on her; I didn't ask what that entailed. She also ended up being a submissive to some guy in an S&M community.

    Despite all this and many other questionable things, I ended up admitting to her that I had a crush on her over AIM. I got rejected, thankfully, but we didn't hang out much for a while. A year or so later, she started dating another guy and I started dating my first girlfriend (now my fiancee). She ended up getting married to him and everything seemed well. My girlfriend and I would go over and visit them every now and then. It was bizarre for me to see her in an apparently stable relationship.

    This ended about a year ago when she found an ex on myspace whom she never really got over. They started talking to each other, and at some point she got a divorce. It took about a year for that mess to get sorted out, and she now lives with the guy she reconnected with on myspace. She seems pretty happy, and I hope everything works out for her now.

    SteevL on
  • HalfmexHalfmex I mock your value system You also appear foolish in the eyes of othersRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    Halfmex on
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    Ludious on
  • NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ludious wrote: »
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    Eh, I agree it's not crazy as much as it was immature.

    Nocturne on
  • GammarahGammarah Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    My sisters ex-boyfriend started doing that for a while. About every month or few months for a year or two he would stop by her house heartbroken and wanting to get back together. This was even after she started dating again, and when she married the person she started dating. What would end up happening is that my 6'5 stepdad who was over 260 pounds of muscle would get called at like 11:00 pm to go over there and convince the guy to leave, cause she felt too bad to call the cops.

    I mean, I know my sister is nice and all, but I didn't think that she could ruin people.

    Gammarah on
  • JeanJean Papa bear Gatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ludious wrote: »
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    Her father did most of the talking actually. I'd say I was listening for 27 of those 30 minutes.

    And if you guys think I was crazy or immature for wanting an explanation, so be it!

    I know I was far from perfect, but I dont think I deserved such a treatment. Anyways, it's all in the past now and I learnt important lessons from this short lived relationship so it's not like it was a complete waste.

    Jean on
    "You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
  • mrflippymrflippy Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Ludious wrote: »
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    You're right, I guess wanting women to stop the hinting and BS and just be honest about what's going on is pretty crazy.

    mrflippy on
  • WillethWilleth Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Okay, so. My first girlfriend - let's call her Kate - was when we were both at the end of high school - I was 16 or so. We went out for I think two years, maybe a little less. After a year or so we went to a barbeque at my best friend's house from primary school - he's Bob - and she was a little weird the whole time. When were were going back home, she said that she recognised my friend's mother.

    A couple of days later, me, my girlfriend, and her mum were all talking and it came up. It turns out that my oldest and best friend's mum was the sister of my then-girlfriend's mum, and they'd fallen out of touch. Maybe half-sister, I can't quite remember. They shared a parent, at least.

    So, great! I'd managed to reunite two sides of a family. They started going out for lunch and things as families do, and Kate and Bob got to know each other very well, their mothers caught up, and everything was great.

    At the end of my relationship with Kate, we'd been on-again-off-again for a couple of months. Looking back on it now, I was getting very distant from her, and it just slowly ended, like it would do. I don't really see anything crazy with how it ended.

    As soon as we called it quits officially, though, she started seeing Bob. Far too soon, even if he wasn't, you know, her cousin. I might be reaching, but I don't think too far - it's fairly clear to me that she was at least fooling around with him while we were still going out.

    Afterward, they were together for a few years. He moved down south with her when she got a job there, and I'm not sure he ever found proper employment. He's written to me on Facebook - after they broke up, he moved back home and sent me a wormy little message asking to go for a drink at some point. The other week, she started following me on Twitter. She's never posted an update.

    So, not necessarily crazy, more aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

    Willeth on
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  • PhistiPhisti Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    So, this isn’t my crazy girlfriend, in fact my wife (then girlfriend) is the most awesome and un-crazy woman I know… this was however my firsthand experience of my housemate’s girlfriend… ah college.

    Where to start.

    Christine was at first a wonderful girl, she was hot, she was funny, and she was polite… albeit not the brightest girl. We all thought Mitch had done a bang-up job finding this girl and damn, if he didn’t take her to his parents he was an idiot.

    About a month after she moved in with us things started to go awry. Insane, and I mean INSANE fits of rage. The stereo-typical dish throwing occurred so much that she ended up destroying my entire set of dishes, as well as the fruit bowl from the table, plus most of their dishes. We were eating out of frying pans and pots by January since we had no dishes left.

    Then the Super-bowl happened… we were all laying around the living room watching the game when Christine flew into one of her now-patented rages… this time since Mitch commented on the Go-Daddy.com girl’s outfit. The argument moved to their downstairs room (under the living room) and quickly turned into throwing of text books, yelling, then the grunts of wild monkey sex. After a few minutes of discomfort for us Christine was heard shouting out “not in me, I forgot my pill – shoot it in my face, SHOOT IT IN MY FACE”. Yeah, that was sorta hot, but sorta uncomfortable for us all upstairs.

    Then came a spring camping trip. Mitch and Christine came separately as they were on one of their breaks. Not 25 minutes after Christine arrived and she was making moves on an acquaintance, Justin. 10 minutes later, they retreated to a tent – tent TV ensues, see phrase from above – in a tent, in the middle of a packed campsite of strangers.

    Mitch arrives about 5 minutes after Justin and Christine finish… she throws herself at him, they retreat to the tent and carry on, and repeat the above scene.

    The girl was all over, schizo one might say (and she may well be)… between the incredibly violent mood swings, loud, unflattering sex antics, to the many many many pregnancies scares that my car was used to find abortion clinics / pharmacies I can say I’m glad to be out of that crazy house.

    Not crazy sex-alien or incest cheating, but damn, I never did get my dishes replaced. And I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is to be hanging out with some friends of mixed company when those antics are going on.

    Phisti on
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    So some more stories in which hopefully you learn from my errors. As in my previous post, I wish to emphasis that I'm fairly stupid and I find crazy to be very sexy. It's not a good combination.

    Story one: In which our hero learns girls in the drama club may like drama.

    So I was a senior in high school and I was dating a very beautiful lass. Five foot nothing, red hair, green eyes and a body that was more convincing of the existence of a higher power then any three religious works. She longed to be an actress and tried on more personalities then I cared to count, but at her core was a bit of insecurity. Which isn't abnormal in a teenage girl. What was somewhat abnormal was her method of dealing with it. She loved to get me into fights. The idea of two men fighting over her beauty seemed to be a balm to her insecurities. The lass didn't take into account that I really would rather not fight. And most of the time I was able to talk my way out of it, usually leading to a pouting session from her.

    Unfortunately my luck with my mouth ran out at a teen night at a local dance club. She goaded a guy into taking a swing at me. I would love to be able to say that I beat him senseless but that's not quite the truth. In the end both of us had a bunch of bruises, he had a broken nose and some missing teeth, and I had a cracked rib. The lass attempted to reward me with a night of vigorous sex, but the broken rib made that extremely unpleasant. We broke up the next day.

    Story two: In which our hero learns the rich really are different.

    This one isn't about a crazy girlfriend. In fact the girlfriend here is really a sweet nice girl. Shockingly enough not everyone I dated was crazy. But her father...was a little bit touched. He had made his money building a software company and had retired fairly wealthy. We had been dating for a little while when he decided to have "the talk" with me. Most of the guys here have been through it, it's the moment in which a father/brother/uncle informs you that if you hurt his little girl, he's going to kill you/maim you. And every guy does it a little bit differently.

    This gentleman informed me that if I did anything to his daughter, he personally wouldn't harm me. He would very simply hire someone to do that for him. And his voice lacked any trace of the false toughness, bravado or fake wraith that usually accompanies such threats. His voice was calm, even and level as if I wasn't worth the spending of emotion on. At this point in my life I had been in a couple of situation in which I was fairly certain I wasn't going to walk out of. And I had been scared in every one of them, but this guy terrified me. I was truly convinced that I was dealing with a sociopath who would end me as casually as I might kill an ant.

    Story three: In which we learn our hero really is an idiot.

    So back to the ex-wife. One day I have decided that I have had enough abuse, enough crap and it's time to end the relationship. The smartest thing I had ever done. Alas, I wasn't really bright enough to think through my approach. If I had been really smart, I would have moved out first and told her via phone. From another state. Nope, I chose to tell her in person. As you can guess from my previous stories, she didn't take this well. Nope. Not well at all. Her response to me announcing I'm leaving? She pulled a sword on me.

    Yes, a replica Katana. She's taken it from a table, drawn it and is advancing on me. And in that sudden moment, I've come to an important realization. Death wouldn't be quite so bad at this point. She raises the blade and brings it downward and I have a second sudden realization. Breathing is good! So I did something that qualifies me for the Olympics of stupid. I attempted to catch the blade between my hands. Why I chose that particular action I have no idea. For those wondering it didn't work as well as it does in bad movies. I stopped the blade, but it sliced open one of my fingers.

    At this point the idea that she was about to kill me has finally sunk into the ex-wife's mind. She apologies profusely. I pretended as if I had forgiven her, went to the ER and when I got some time alone, left. Even I can learn after a while.

    Thomamelas on
  • WillethWilleth Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    I attempted to catch the blade between my hands. Why I chose that particular action I have no idea. For those wondering it didn't work as well as it does in bad movies.

    To be fair, if you'd pulled it off it would have been awesome as hell.

    "That's right, bitch. I'm a ninja."

    Willeth on
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  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    mrflippy wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    You're right, I guess wanting women to stop the hinting and BS and just be honest about what's going on is pretty crazy.

    Don't you get it? Clear communication might make somebody mad at you. But if you just practice silent avoidance, you can deflect any criticism with "he should have taken the hint!" That way, you get to be infallible while your ex comes across looking like the bad guy. It's a win-win!

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Willeth wrote: »
    As soon as we called it quits officially, though, she started seeing Bob. Far too soon, even if he wasn't, you know, her cousin. I might be reaching, but I don't think too far - it's fairly clear to me that she was at least fooling around with him while we were still going out.

    Eh, first time I ever kissed my now-husband was the day after I broke up with my ex. Just because things happen quickly doesn't mean there was stuff going on before the breakup (though my ex, like you doesn't believe me).

    The first couple of months of our relationship definitely bordered on crazy. My ex and I had bought a house together but I was afraid to sleep there after we broke up. So my now-husband and I spent the first two weeks of our relationship sleeping together on a friend's* pull-out couch. And I told him, basically daily, that I was still in love with my ex and didn't deserve him (my now-husband). We also interacted with my ex twice a week at floor hockey club and an additional night a week playing capture the flag. And I had my now-husband break into my/my exes house so that I could get some of my stuff back without talking to my ex.

    *my best friend lived there. Unfortunately so did my ex's best friend whom he had met through me and whom I had dated briefly years earlier.

    Taking the cake for crazy awkward nights was the night where I was sitting in a room with me, now-husband, ex, ex's best friend, my best friend and another guy. Lots of alcohol was involved but somehow my best friend convinced me to compare the various sexual skills of the three guys in the room I had done stuff with. In front of them. Out loud. She then took my ex and lost her virginity to him in the room next to us.

    Kistra on
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  • TalkaTalka Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    My ex did a quarter abroad in Argentina. For three months we would spend about two hours a day talking. I even flew down and visited her for a week. It's not until the day after I get back from the 6,000 mile visit that she decides it's best to reveal she's been sleeping with four different guys and wants to break up with me.

    Really, you couldn't have chosen any other time? Also, cheating on me with not one, but four guys? Over a period of three months?

    Owned.

    Talka on
  • LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    TheMarshal wrote: »
    My normally quite sane fiance one time called me 27 times in the span of an hour because I didn't answer (because my cell phone was dead).

    I've got actual crazy stories, but there was no relationship involved, since everything was occurring online and/or over the phone.

    I had this, and to make it worse it was at like seven in the morning, and non urgent. Except she then turned out to be clingy as hell, and racist.

    Leitner on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Alright, so, I had a pretty pathetic dating life through most of high school with a series of crazy girls. You know, this girl.

    One of them started dating another guy the same day I was going to ask her out. She was kind of running her game on both of us, he just asked first, because apparently back then I thought if you liked someone and they liked you, that meant they wouldn't want to date anyone else. Their relationship was terrible and they just fought all the time. Que self loathing, wondering why I must suck so bad because she didn't dump him for me, all with her stringing me along a bit. I even tried the pathetic letter writing confessing my love. She tried to set him on fire once. They broke up and I realized she was crazy drama magnet and didn't ask her out. Later me and her ex would hi5 and I would thank him for taking one for the team. It was a blessing in disguise that he asked first.

    Another girl was severely bipolar plus probably a number of other things. She would go from crazy, lets run around like we are on meth and steal things and have a wild good time mode to, later that month, oh my god I'm going to never stop crying mode. Literally she looked like she was crying constantly. At least eyes watering. She lived with her aunt and uncle because she stabbed her dad in the face with a spoon. Then she threatened to kill herself and stab her uncle (this time with a knife). And I never saw her again after that. Good thing because she had another boyfriend in her old school anyway, who I looked bizarrely like.

    JebusUD on
    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • mrflippymrflippy Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I don't know whether this counts as crazy or not, but my best friend in college broke up with his girl very shortly after they signed an apartment lease. They then stayed in the same room (separate beds IIRC) the rest of the semester.

    mrflippy on
  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    mrflippy wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    You're right, I guess wanting women to stop the hinting and BS and just be honest about what's going on is pretty crazy.

    2zhi1du.jpg
    Cnut the Great, the 10th-century Viking king, in the famous "commanded the tide to not come in" scene. What you ask is no less a feat.

    PeregrineFalcon on
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  • LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    'cism.

    p.s. don't explain the reference.

    Leitner on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Oh, and my friends ex. I lived with the guy for a year. He was avoiding her and had not told her where he lived or given her his new number. Except she still managed to call us and show up uninvited to our appt. She bad talked him to all his friends and told them they shouldn't hang out with him because he was a terrible person. They worked together, and he was her supervisor (very unfortunately). She was in his office one day and wouldn't leave, though she was standing right by the door. He gently pushes her out the door. Emphasis on gently, this wasn't him going all MMA assault style on her or anything, just "leave my office" because she wasn't talking about anything work related anyway, just trying to harass him. She bites him in the arm! anyway, the police haul her off and he gets a restraining order put on her.

    Then she still messages me two years later bad talking him to me, when I haven't seen or talked to her in that time.

    JebusUD on
    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    This isn't 'crazy', just typical "angry breakup" discourse that I thought you guys might find entertaining.

    Months back I was messing around with (I think 'dating' would be generous and slightly inaccurate) a girl who worked alongside me. I have my own issues, but this girl was demonstrably more 'injured' than me, psychologically. She had some pretty jarring hang ups, and would often talk about her dysfunctional family as pillow talk. This quickly went south and after a few spats, it was totally broken off. We spoke on the phone a few times that day (the last day we'd ever interact out of work), and each conversation grew progressively more hostile. I tried to keep my calm, but far be me from perfect, and I'm sure I said some offensive things. We both did. On the fourth call, I think, I thought we'd achieved a mild degree of closure. We were both still fuming, but from the phrasing as we hung up, it seemed like a 'final conversation'.

    Not so.

    She calls back two or three minutes later, and I answer. Before I get to say hello, she screams (and this becomes our last social conversation)

    "YOU HAVE A TINY DICK, YOU FAGGOT"

    and hangs up.

    It was awesome.

    Organichu on
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  • PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Leitner wrote: »
    'cism.

    p.s. don't explain the reference.

    If I don't explain the reference I score a two-pointer for "image meme spam" even though it's perfectly relevant, ergo I explain it in-spoiler.

    Plus, I use TinyPic which mangles the filename, so I can't even leave the breadcrumb trail of the filename as cnutthegreat.jpg to hint at it for the more astute readers.

    tl;dr i have enough points but thanks

    PeregrineFalcon on
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  • TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Jean wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Halfmex wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Lets just all agree that Jean is a living example of a crazy boyfriend.
    Nah, that's not so much crazy as it is just an issue of being more invested in the relationship than the other party. Happens pretty often. Crazy would be if he were still showing up at her door months after they'd broken up demanding that they be together.

    The crazy part is where he didn't get the hint and then called her over and over again and then talked to her daddy for 30 minutes.

    Her father did most of the talking actually. I'd say I was listening for 27 of those 30 minutes.

    And if you guys think I was crazy or immature for wanting an explanation, so be it!

    I know I was far from perfect, but I dont think I deserved such a treatment. Anyways, it's all in the past now and I learnt important lessons from this short lived relationship so it's not like it was a complete waste.

    I'm with Jean.

    This girl starts brushing him off (instead of being upfront about wanting to break up) and that's supposed to be adult behavior? If it's lame to break up by email, it's worse to just wait for the guy to go away. Sure, the correct thing to do would be to just accept it and move on, but what Jean did was far less immature than what she did. And certainly not crazy.

    Was he really that bad for wanting some closure or certainty? Or wanting to make her actually commit to breaking up by way of a serious conversation. It's not like he stalked her. A few phone calls, was all.

    TeaSpoon on
  • MblackwellMblackwell Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Organichu wrote: »
    This isn't 'crazy', just typical "angry breakup" discourse that I thought you guys might find entertaining.

    Months back I was messing around with (I think 'dating' would be generous and slightly inaccurate) a girl who worked alongside me. I have my own issues, but this girl was demonstrably more 'injured' than me, psychologically. She had some pretty jarring hang ups, and would often talk about her dysfunctional family as pillow talk. This quickly went south and after a few spats, it was totally broken off. We spoke on the phone a few times that day (the last day we'd ever interact out of work), and each conversation grew progressively more hostile. I tried to keep my calm, but far be me from perfect, and I'm sure I said some offensive things. We both did. On the fourth call, I think, I thought we'd achieved a mild degree of closure. We were both still fuming, but from the phrasing as we hung up, it seemed like a 'final conversation'.

    Not so.

    She calls back two or three minutes later, and I answer. Before I get to say hello, she screams (and this becomes our last social conversation)

    "YOU HAVE A TINY DICK, YOU FAGGOT"

    and hangs up.

    It was awesome.

    This post made me think of this:
    She Had A Huge Vagina

    Mblackwell on
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  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Willeth wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    I attempted to catch the blade between my hands. Why I chose that particular action I have no idea. For those wondering it didn't work as well as it does in bad movies.

    To be fair, if you'd pulled it off it would have been awesome as hell.

    "That's right, bitch. I'm a ninja."

    I suspect it's fairly impossible to do without actually hurting yourself. If the blade is turned just a little then you get the effect that happened to me. You get a flap of skin shaved off a finger. It was cleaned up and stitched up but it didn't heal correctly between the scar tissue and an infection. The infection seemed to love the nerves in my hand and I've lost a degree of fine motor control in the hand.

    Thomamelas on
  • HalfmexHalfmex I mock your value system You also appear foolish in the eyes of othersRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I've been fortunate enough to dodge many of the crazy girl bullets I have encountered throughout my life, though I did date this one girl very early on that was, well, she was interesting.

    She was my first kiss, my first makeout session and would have been my first orgy.

    Let me back up.

    I was sixteen and had only started dating a year prior. High school dating, you know? A week here, a month there, these relationships weren't exactly "meant to be", despite how often those words were inscribed on innumerable notes passed to me at various times by these girls.

    So I'm hanging out with my friend and he introduces me to this girl who works at a video store near his house. Red-haired, green-eyed, extremely flirtatious and, as I would come to find out, incomprehensibly horny girl. So we chatted a bit, exchanged numbers and I call her later. Turns out she's eighteen, but I figure it's only a two year age gap, and maybe she'll last longer than the fourteen and fifteen year olds I had dated prior. After a few phone convos and a meet-up, we decide to start dating officially.

    Flash forward a week, I'd been to her house a few times, we'd kissed and made out (and I didn't do too badly for a dude who had never had any experience with that stuff prior, at least according to her). So she calls me up one day and asks me to come over. I hopped on the bike (didn't have a car, sadly) and headed over to her apartment. I am greeted at the door by a strikingly attractive blonde girl who asks "is this him?", and then, when responded to in the affirmative, pretty much yanks me through the door.

    Shortly thereafter a guy shows up, himself nineteen, and starts chatting with both of the girls. I figure that he's the other girl's boyfriend. Great. I thought I'd get my hands on some boobies, instead we have another couple here being boring. Well whatever, I sit down and my girlfriend puts a tape in the VCR and says to the other girl "I couldn't get the other movie, this is the best I could do". What follows on the screen is some kind of....animated "birds and the bees" type of sexual disclosure video. "Here's what mommy and daddy were doing when they made you" sort of thing. Very, very strange. But me being the naive sixteen year old that I was, I just chalked it up to something we were watching to get a kick out of. And we did; everyone was laughing at it and having a good time.

    About fifteen minutes of this tape goes by before she cuts it off and says "Okay, this isn't going to work", and then turns on some music. The song? "Do me" by Bell Biv DeVoe. The other girl and guy start dancing to it. And not "hey, we're having a good time" dancing, more like "I'd like to get you horizontal very quickly" type of dancing. Still I think nothing of it. It was a popular song at the time and despite her 'come hither' glances and gestures, my girlfriend didn't really give me any indication that anything special was going on.

    Ten more minutes of that go on before my girlfriend says "well, I'm going to go get changed" and I'm immediately goaded by the other girl and guy to "go get her, dude!" So I head in there, and in an act of "gentlemanly conduct" that I mildly regret to this day, I turn my back while she's getting dressed, despite her admission that she would be "okay with me looking".

    Nope, still nothing weird about that. So I head back out to the living room where the other guy and girl are now making out and they stop abruptly to tell me how boneheaded I am for passing up that opportunity. I ask how long they've been dating. They both laugh uproariously. Apparently this dude was just some guy this girl met the weekend prior and he was on leave from the military for the weekend, so he decided to come down and get laid. "Hm, well good for him" I figure.

    My girlfriend emerges, dressed differently, and tells me that she has to cut our time short, the three of them are going to a friend's house. So I hop on my bike and pedal home.

    We date for about a week after that, then I go on a vacation to Florida and find out that, while I'm on that vacation, she cheated on me with and subsequently left me for a fifteen year old. It would only become clear to me, two years later when I became sexually active myself, what she was trying to get set up there. It still blows my mind to this day.

    tl;dr: At sixteen, my eighteen year old girlfriend tried to set up a four-way between me, her, her female friend and some random dude, but I was oblivious to it the entire time and as such it never took place.

    Halfmex on
  • GammarahGammarah Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    mrflippy wrote: »
    I don't know whether this counts as crazy or not, but my best friend in college broke up with his girl very shortly after they signed an apartment lease. They then stayed in the same room (separate beds IIRC) the rest of the semester.

    Thats just hilarious.

    Gammarah on
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