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Major potentionally-life-crushing problem [UPDATE 5]
And we've talked about doing the long-distance thing, but we've both heard those stories where one of the two partners stay faithful but then when they call up their SO they hear Chuck the football captain asking if she wants another joint in the background.
So we're not sure about going long-distance.
But this has gone sort of off-topic.
Don't go long distance. It's doable, it's just no fun.
honestly mate don't worry too much about it. It'll work out one way or the other.
I bloody hope so. He's so gorgeous he makes my teeth hurt.
You got that from My Family! But never mind that.
I'd say your best option is just to outright tell him. But if you're not quite up to that I have another solution. Tell him you and the girlfriend are over, and if he likes you he'll probably be the one to hint and suggest something. Then when he does just recipricate and you'll be in.
honestly mate don't worry too much about it. It'll work out one way or the other.
I bloody hope so. He's so gorgeous he makes my teeth hurt.
You got that from My Family! But never mind that.
I'd say your best option is just to outright tell him. But if you're not quite up to that I have another solution. Tell him you and the girlfriend are over, and if he likes you he'll probably be the one to hint and suggest something. Then when he does just recipricate and you'll be in.
Might just be me but that sounds just a ltitle bit underhanded
Okay I'm due to hang out with the guy today, so I'm gonna tell him. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.
Best of luck dude. And just relax, it'll all be fine.
Btw what's this guy's name? sorry I just get very nosey about this sort of stuff.
Thanks for the luck guys. And I did it.
And his names' Kai
Cool name.
So you did it then? How'd it go (give all the :winky: details)
Yup, I did it.
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
Haha, awesome. Glad everything is working out well!
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
Haha, awesome. Glad everything is working out well!
That it is :winky::winky:
Might put up another update in a while if people are still interested.
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
Haha, awesome. Glad everything is working out well!
That it is :winky::winky:
Might put up another update in a while if people are still interested.
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
Haha, awesome. Glad everything is working out well!
That it is :winky::winky:
Might put up another update in a while if people are still interested.
Oh we would indeed.
So I will. And you'd be proud of me. I took it slow. If it was up to him I'd have been staying at his place for breakfast.
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
Haha, awesome. Glad everything is working out well!
That it is :winky::winky:
Might put up another update in a while if people are still interested.
Oh we would indeed.
So I will. And you'd be proud of me. I took it slow. If it was up to him I'd have been staying at his place for breakfast.
Either that is a liberal gf, or not so much.
Anyway
Just wanted to say congrats, be careful, and keep the updates rolling in ^_^
Right-o. Update time, and things have taken a turn for the worst.
Carly (the ex girlfriend) has, sort of, had a late-delay reaction to the breakup and turned into an industrial-strength ultra-bitch about the whole thing. She's apparently been going around telling a whole mess of people, both girls and the big macho anti-gay guys that I'm a "banana crammer" to spite me or some shit, and told people I'm fooling around with Kai.
Now he's out and open about his sexuality so he's got no problem with it, but me meanwhile? I've only really been thinking that I'm bi for a few weeks, and only been sure of it for, like, one week. So while I'm not exactly ashamed of it I'm not really that comfortable with being out about it. But I guess thanks to Carly I won't have to worry about coming out anymore. Fucking terrific...
Oh, and there's the possibility of getting the living shit beaten out of me by the aforementioned macho guys that hate gay people. So that's a constant underlying threat now.
So, in a word: fuck!
Reservoir Angel on
0
EshTending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles.Portland, ORRegistered Userregular
Right-o. Update time, and things have taken a turn for the worst.
Carly (the ex girlfriend) has, sort of, had a late-delay reaction to the breakup and turned into an industrial-strength ultra-bitch about the whole thing. She's apparently been going around telling a whole mess of people, both girls and the big macho anti-gay guys that I'm a "banana crammer" to spite me or some shit, and told people I'm fooling around with Kai.
Now he's out and open about his sexuality so he's got no problem with it, but me meanwhile? I've only really been thinking that I'm bi for a few weeks, and only been sure of it for, like, one week. So while I'm not exactly ashamed of it I'm not really that comfortable with being out about it. But I guess thanks to Carly I won't have to worry about coming out anymore. Fucking terrific...
Oh, and there's the possibility of getting the living shit beaten out of me by the aforementioned macho guys that hate gay people. So that's a constant underlying threat now.
So, in a word: fuck!
Hell hath no fury...
If you wanted to keep it on the down low, you probably shouldn't have discussed it with anyone.
ADDITION TO UPDATE 2: I forgot to mention it. Yesterday I got an e-mail from Carly. I won't post the entire thing but instead I'll just put the gist of it.
Basically it said: "if you take me back I'll tell everyone I was joking. if you don't I'll tell the homophobes where you live."
ArtreusI'm a wizardAnd that looks fucked upRegistered Userregular
edited August 2009
Maybe you should explain to her what exactly goes into a relationship. You can absolutely not be with a person who says "If you take me back everything will go back to normal but if not I will make sure you get hurt" and thinks it is alright.
I don't really think you did the best thing by straight up dumping your girlfriend so you could make out with some guy (I wasn't following too quickly so I am not sure if this is the situation). But your ex is handling this really badly. You do need to talk to her and figure the situation out though.
I had no intention of taking her back. Well, I have none. I did feel a bit bad about breaking it off with her, but then when she started this shit I stopped feeling sorry for her.
Reservoir Angel on
0
ArtreusI'm a wizardAnd that looks fucked upRegistered Userregular
edited August 2009
I still think you need to be as open and honest about this situation as possible though. She is probably just hurt and lashing out in a very bad way.
EshTending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles.Portland, ORRegistered Userregular
edited August 2009
I honestly don't think you're going to have a goon squad knocking on your door. Just in case though, save all the emails she sends. Do you really think these guys are going to corner you in a dark alley and beat the shit out of you for being gay? Where do you live exactly? Is this a common occurence?
I still think you need to be as open and honest about this situation as possible though. She is probably just hurt and lashing out in a very bad way.
I was completely honest with her about my reasons when I broke up with her and she seemed to be fine with it. I was worried she'd take it badly but she promised me she was fine.
But now she's done a total U-turn and sped at Mach 5 into Crazytown.
I honestly don't think you're going to have a goon squad knocking on your door. Just in case though, save all the emails she sends. Do you really think these guys are going to corner you in a dark alley and beat the shit out of you for being gay? Where do you live exactly? Is this a common occurence?
It's never happened, but I'm just panicking and naturally assuming it'll happen to me.
Reservoir Angel on
0
Deebaseron my way to work in a suit and a tieAhhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered Userregular
ADDITION TO UPDATE 2: I forgot to mention it. Yesterday I got an e-mail from Carly. I won't post the entire thing but instead I'll just put the gist of it.
Basically it said: "if you take me back I'll tell everyone I was joking. if you don't I'll tell the homophobes where you live."
So: extra fuck!
Give a copy of the e-mail to a friend. Call her up (no email) and let her know that if any shit goes down, that e-mail is going to the police. I'm not sure what sort of legal complications would be involved, but that has to be fucking criminal somehow.
ADDITION TO UPDATE 2: I forgot to mention it. Yesterday I got an e-mail from Carly. I won't post the entire thing but instead I'll just put the gist of it.
Basically it said: "if you take me back I'll tell everyone I was joking. if you don't I'll tell the homophobes where you live."
So: extra fuck!
Give a copy of the e-mail to a friend. Call her up (no email) and let her know that if any shit goes down, that e-mail is going to the police. I'm not sure what sort of legal complications would be involved, but that has to be fucking criminal somehow.
Whoooa. Well, on the bright side now you have something for the "Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend" thread in D&D.
You're in high school, right? What would happen if you showed the e-mail to the counselors or principal? Would they suspend her? Personally, if I get disciplinary action recorded on her official transcript I would do it, and would laugh my ass off if her college then chose to rescind its offer of admission. But then I am a bitch like that. On the other hand, would that make more trouble for you socially at school/jeopardize your safety more? The answers to these questions will vary based on what your school is like. Whatever you do, definitely SAVE THE E-MAIL and exercise as much caution as you think is warranted.
Go and have a cup of coffee with her. Calm it down. Explain that you are still very fond of her, and that you are sorry if she is upset by your decisions/behaviour. You are trying to make some big personal decisions, discover more about your sexuality, decide if you are straight or bi. This is not a time you can really manage a relationship, it would be unfair to her. Perhaps when your head is straight again, if she is still interested, you could give it another go. You would love to still spend time together, but understand if she would rather have some distance.
In other words, soothe her wounded pride/ego. Dissimilate. Make peace. Take blame. Apologise.
Yes you could call the police, involve schools, fuck everything up. In my experience, that will only keep things messy and uncomfortable, especially with mutual friends. See if a peace can be brokered. Try that before going the destructive route.
Make sense?
Teslan26 on
0
ArtreusI'm a wizardAnd that looks fucked upRegistered Userregular
Go and have a cup of coffee with her. Calm it down. Explain that you are still very fond of her, and that you are sorry if she is upset by your decisions/behaviour. You are trying to make some big personal decisions, discover more about your sexuality, decide if you are straight or bi. This is not a time you can really manage a relationship, it would be unfair to her. Perhaps when your head is straight again, if she is still interested, you could give it another go. You would love to still spend time together, but understand if she would rather have some distance.
In other words, soothe her wounded pride/ego. Dissimilate. Make peace. Take blame. Apologise.
Yes you could call the police, involve schools, fuck everything up. In my experience, that will only keep things messy and uncomfortable, especially with mutual friends. See if a peace can be brokered. Try that before going the destructive route.
Make sense?
I'd say this is more or less the correct advice kind of. I mean, you did leave her. And she reacted very badly.. but yeah. If she still acts like a crazy bitch, if you are still in school I would definitely forward her letter and actions to the school. But I think you are just about to go off to college ?
Don't take her back, whatever you do. She's a fucking bitch.
.... and maybe invest in some self defense classes.
nothing says "I'm sorry you feel that way about my sexuality like a rocket punch to the sternum...
if it were me I'd probably keep a bat by the door for unwanted guests, but that is because I am also ultra paranoid. Anyone sane would just say that these are empty threats and hate crimes would land these guys in jail real quick
Posts
Don't go long distance. It's doable, it's just no fun.
I was hanging out with the guy this morning, and was so damn close to telling him, but I just totally chickened out!
I'd say your best option is just to outright tell him. But if you're not quite up to that I have another solution. Tell him you and the girlfriend are over, and if he likes you he'll probably be the one to hint and suggest something. Then when he does just recipricate and you'll be in.
Just be cool.
No need to be worried. Just be chill.
You'll be fine.
Btw what's this guy's name? sorry I just get very nosey about this sort of stuff.
And his names' Kai
So you did it then? How'd it go (give all the :winky: details)
And he took it very, very, very well indeed. Long story short, we made out. I'd expected it to be awkward, kissing a guy, but oh my god! He's, like, the best kisser in the whole world
Haha, awesome. Glad everything is working out well!
Might put up another update in a while if people are still interested.
Oh we would indeed.
Anyway
Just wanted to say congrats, be careful, and keep the updates rolling in ^_^
It is a refreshing change to see people take the advice here
Congrats!
And thanks
Carly (the ex girlfriend) has, sort of, had a late-delay reaction to the breakup and turned into an industrial-strength ultra-bitch about the whole thing. She's apparently been going around telling a whole mess of people, both girls and the big macho anti-gay guys that I'm a "banana crammer" to spite me or some shit, and told people I'm fooling around with Kai.
Now he's out and open about his sexuality so he's got no problem with it, but me meanwhile? I've only really been thinking that I'm bi for a few weeks, and only been sure of it for, like, one week. So while I'm not exactly ashamed of it I'm not really that comfortable with being out about it. But I guess thanks to Carly I won't have to worry about coming out anymore. Fucking terrific...
Oh, and there's the possibility of getting the living shit beaten out of me by the aforementioned macho guys that hate gay people. So that's a constant underlying threat now.
So, in a word: fuck!
Hell hath no fury...
If you wanted to keep it on the down low, you probably shouldn't have discussed it with anyone.
Good luck and hopefully this Kai of yours will keep you safe
Basically it said: "if you take me back I'll tell everyone I was joking. if you don't I'll tell the homophobes where you live."
So: extra fuck!
Also, I would call the police and put a restraining order on this crazy bitch
edit: Not sure if this is applicable, but go ahead and threaten her with this
.... and maybe invest in some self defense classes.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
I don't really think you did the best thing by straight up dumping your girlfriend so you could make out with some guy (I wasn't following too quickly so I am not sure if this is the situation). But your ex is handling this really badly. You do need to talk to her and figure the situation out though.
But now she's done a total U-turn and sped at Mach 5 into Crazytown.
Give a copy of the e-mail to a friend. Call her up (no email) and let her know that if any shit goes down, that e-mail is going to the police. I'm not sure what sort of legal complications would be involved, but that has to be fucking criminal somehow.
You're in high school, right? What would happen if you showed the e-mail to the counselors or principal? Would they suspend her? Personally, if I get disciplinary action recorded on her official transcript I would do it, and would laugh my ass off if her college then chose to rescind its offer of admission. But then I am a bitch like that. On the other hand, would that make more trouble for you socially at school/jeopardize your safety more? The answers to these questions will vary based on what your school is like. Whatever you do, definitely SAVE THE E-MAIL and exercise as much caution as you think is warranted.
In other words, soothe her wounded pride/ego. Dissimilate. Make peace. Take blame. Apologise.
Yes you could call the police, involve schools, fuck everything up. In my experience, that will only keep things messy and uncomfortable, especially with mutual friends. See if a peace can be brokered. Try that before going the destructive route.
Make sense?
I'd say this is more or less the correct advice kind of. I mean, you did leave her. And she reacted very badly.. but yeah. If she still acts like a crazy bitch, if you are still in school I would definitely forward her letter and actions to the school. But I think you are just about to go off to college ?
if it were me I'd probably keep a bat by the door for unwanted guests, but that is because I am also ultra paranoid. Anyone sane would just say that these are empty threats and hate crimes would land these guys in jail real quick