She got up slowly and swayed towards me in a tight black dress that didn't reflect any light. She had long thighs and she walked with a certain something I hadn't often seen in bookstores. She was an ash blonde with greenish eyes, beaded lashes, hair waved smoothly back from ears in which large jet buttons glittered. Her fingernails were silvered. In spite of her get-up she looked as if she would have a hall bedroom accent.
She approached me with enough sex appeal to stampede a businessmen's lunch and titled her head to finger a stray, but not very stray, tendril of softly glowing hair. Her smile was tenative, but could be persuaded to be nice.
A phone rings.
"Cut-cut!" Yelled the director. Nancy pulls off her wig in a single angry yank "you mean I have to do that scene again?!", she scowled as she pulls a lit cigarrette from in between her chest.
Nancy was never keen on smarts... or female charm... and was seemingly incapable of sitting crossed leg, an ability that seemed to work in her favor in the shallow world of Hamburger Ads. "this is the most unprofessional shoot of my entire career" she says as she takes a drag from her cigarette.
A man in a hamburger costume walks in, "is it time for my scene yet?"
oh great - I'm not sure how much more criticism I can take :P
From a technical perspective, they covered the points in that thread pretty completely. I'm not sure that I can add anything.
But I'll try anyways.
Basically, it just feels awkward, like you are getting someplace with a girl for the first time. You kind of know what you want to do, but have no clue how to get there.
Just keep practicing, and you'll find what works.
EDIT: And consider yourself lucky. I posted a poem in there and got basically no responses.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited May 2009
Haha, thanks. Granted, if they're anything like us, the worst and the best get the most comments. Its the ones in the middle where they don't know what to say other than "you're on your way" that don't get too many. Not sure why that is though...
I have to admit, I've been wonder how awkward my poems would be if I sent audio versions of me reading them. With a number of the poets I've had to read this semester I didn't really "get" them or even like them until they were read aloud by someone who already knew how they were "supposed" to read. I guess its difficult to get the poem on the page in such a way that the reader gets exactly what you're trying to do without forcing that upon them.
Haha, thanks. Granted, if they're anything like us, the worst and the best get the most comments. Its the ones in the middle where they don't know what to say other than "you're on your way" that don't get too many. Not sure why that is though...
I have to admit, I've been wonder how awkward my poems would be if I sent audio versions of me reading them. With a number of the poets I've had to read this semester I didn't really "get" them or even like them until they were read aloud by someone who already knew how they were "supposed" to read. I guess its difficult to get the poem on the page in such a way that the reader gets exactly what you're trying to do without forcing that upon them.
That's part of the craft. Figuring out how to structure the stanzas so that they are naturally read in the best way. Of course, some things are just better out loud, like hearing Neruda in the original Spanish read by a poet with a deep, sultry voice.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited May 2009
Yeah... true. I guess if it was easy to get that on the page everyone would do it...
also nap, i like reading your posts more with your new avatar. I think to myself "what's that kid venture brothers saying to me," and not "what's that coffee cup lady saying"
I just read this but I wanted to let you know it made me laugh very hard.
I wish I had one. If I did I would wear it alllll day today. There is nothing like programming in a sombrero.
My brother once left a sombrero in my car for some reason... then we gave this girl a ride and told her that everyone that gets in the car for the first time has to wear the sombrero. She wore it and we had a great big laugh at her expense.
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
edited May 2009
Magictoaster if I came to your house would you make out with me?
i just did 13 different design sketches for a logo for a baking company.. ..only after was i told that they didnt want to it to be too girly/cute. look, when im told two girls are making cupcakes and cakes in a company that starts with the word 'sweet'...
man they should've called themselves '2 girls 1 cup(cake)'
i just did 13 different design sketches for a logo for a baking company.. ..only after was i told that they didnt want to it to be too girly/cute. look, when im told two girls are making cupcakes and cakes in a company that starts with the word 'sweet'...
man they should've called themselves '2 girls 1 cup(cake)'
i just did 13 different design sketches for a logo for a baking company.. ..only after was i told that they didnt want to it to be too girly/cute. look, when im told two girls are making cupcakes and cakes in a company that starts with the word 'sweet'...
man they should've called themselves '2 girls 1 cup(cake)'
yeah they probably should have told you that beforehand
also, how's the assignment coming? or did you decide not to do it?
I mean, my art isn't that great, but among them is like "holy shit man!"...its getting annoying, I was trying to help them be better artist. To improve their art, but now...they are writing scripts...fuck, and they come to me and talk about writing...They aren't saying whats on their minds, but I know exactly what they are implying...They think writing would be much easier than drawing. IT ISN'T! Any art form is just as hard as the next.
i just did 13 different design sketches for a logo for a baking company.. ..only after was i told that they didnt want to it to be too girly/cute. look, when im told two girls are making cupcakes and cakes in a company that starts with the word 'sweet'...
man they should've called themselves '2 girls 1 cup(cake)'
yeah they probably should have told you that beforehand
also, how's the assignment coming? or did you decide not to do it?
i have to wait until commissions are all done with
at this rate, i am busy for at least another 3 weeks
but once i get a clear-spot.. that assignment will occur. OH YES. it will.
also ... i find writing easy, personally. unless it's an essay. man, screw essays. i've won writing contests before. i started doing art after i stopped writing. art is a lot more fulfilling, i find.
mully on
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
I've started to understand what has caused me to become so apathetic about work lately.
Spoilered for length and its minimal relevance to most people who don't associate with tiny islands in Alaska.
I work at a small weekly newspaper. I'm the only reporter and I'm responsible for all the content, including stories and photos. There is one woman I work with who runs the office stuff (register, subscriptions, office supplies, classified ads) and there is another one who does layout. Now, I end up wasting a good portion of my week after working the usual 9-5 at meetings and at other events taking pictures and gathering stuff for the paper. Normally these are things I don't want to do in the first place. But, hey, it's an opportunity to do good work and, you know, build a portfolio for future work.
The problem is, the woman that does layout is terrible. Terrible at most everything. For instance, I had to shoot the High School Prom last weekend. She put in four good photos, which is great, but she chose the title, "From Grand March to Limbo, this year's prom was Beach-y." And I shudder when I type that. So, now that she's committed that abomination to print I'll never actually be able to use those photos as clippings in the future. So, basically, I wasted a good portion of my Saturday night, doing something I really didn't want to do, and now have something incredibly terrible and ridiculous to show for it.
She's been bothering me to put in a story for the last two weeks about Close Up, which is a program through the High School that gets some kids together to study the democratic process, and later take a trip to Washington DC. Her logic for that is that it will make the parents of those kids happy to see it in the paper. She's right there. However, she's willing to put that in the paper for those 5 students who were involved, but she's not willing to put in the photos I took of the Little League season opener, something the parents of those 100 kids would probably be interested in seeing. She does these things because her kids are involved in Close Up. And now all the time I spent photographing there has been wasted.
What's worse is that she's not even my boss, she stymies most attempts I make to improve this newspaper through her ham-handed layout job, she encourages people to ask me to do a story about an event they have coming up, instead of encouraging them to buy advertising, and she's generally very passive aggressive about getting her way. She actually wrote to my boss to get him to tell me to do the Close Up article, and because my boss is on another island I've yet to be able to make my case regarding her goofy priorities.
Basically, it makes me not care about my work, because she either shits it up, or tries to put other shit in its place. I don't really care about science fairs in the first place, but if I'm going to cover it it better not get a terrible title and become completely unusable and mildly embarrassing.
I've started to understand what has caused me to become so apathetic about work lately.
Spoilered for length and its minimal relevance to most people who don't associate with tiny islands in Alaska.
I work at a small weekly newspaper. I'm the only reporter and I'm responsible for all the content, including stories and photos. There is one woman I work with who runs the office stuff (register, subscriptions, office supplies, classified ads) and there is another one who does layout. Now, I end up wasting a good portion of my week after working the usual 9-5 at meetings and at other events taking pictures and gathering stuff for the paper. Normally these are things I don't want to do in the first place. But, hey, it's an opportunity to do good work and, you know, build a portfolio for future work.
The problem is, the woman that does layout is terrible. Terrible at most everything. For instance, I had to shoot the High School Prom last weekend. She put in four good photos, which is great, but she chose the title, "From Grand March to Limbo, this year's prom was Beach-y." And I shudder when I type that. So, now that she's committed that abomination to print I'll never actually be able to use those photos as clippings in the future. So, basically, I wasted a good portion of my Saturday night, doing something I really didn't want to do, and now have something incredibly terrible and ridiculous to show for it.
She's been bothering me to put in a story for the last two weeks about Close Up, which is a program through the High School that gets some kids together to study the democratic process, and later take a trip to Washington DC. Her logic for that is that it will make the parents of those kids happy to see it in the paper. She's right there. However, she's willing to put that in the paper for those 5 students who were involved, but she's not willing to put in the photos I took of the Little League season opener, something the parents of those 100 kids would probably be interested in seeing. She does these things because her kids are involved in Close Up. And now all the time I spent photographing there has been wasted.
What's worse is that she's not even my boss, she stymies most attempts I make to improve this newspaper through her ham-handed layout job, she encourages people to ask me to do a story about an event they have coming up, instead of encouraging them to buy advertising, and she's generally very passive aggressive about getting her way. She actually wrote to my boss to get him to tell me to do the Close Up article, and because my boss is on another island I've yet to be able to make my case regarding her goofy priorities.
Basically, it makes me not care about my work, because she either shits it up, or tries to put other shit in its place. I don't really care about science fairs in the first place, but if I'm going to cover it it better not get a terrible title and become completely unusable and mildly embarrassing.
Anyway, I'm whining abloo abloo.
Its worth whining about. You could always cover her car (or her) in honey or some other substance bears like and just see what happens.
You could also do an onion-esque story with photos about how she is trying to ruin your career. Then give that to her to do the layout for it.
CommunistCow on
No, I am not really communist. Yes, it is weird that I use this name.
That's one of my lifetime wishes, you know; to be in the middle of a really intense thunderstorm. It seems every time there's ever been a storm, it's been moving away, and it's never been closer than 5 miles away (based on the mile/second thing).
i just did 13 different design sketches for a logo for a baking company.. ..only after was i told that they didnt want to it to be too girly/cute. look, when im told two girls are making cupcakes and cakes in a company that starts with the word 'sweet'...
man they should've called themselves '2 girls 1 cup(cake)'
You know personally- speaking as a man- I can say that I don't particularly look for a manly image while making my cupcake purchasing decisions.
That's one of my lifetime wishes, you know; to be in the middle of a really intense thunderstorm. It seems every time there's ever been a storm, it's been moving away, and it's never been closer than 5 miles away (based on the mile/second thing).
Huge thunderstorms are awesome when you are in a house and you can sit there reading a book next to the window. They, however, are not so cool when camping at 9,000+ feet and a bolt of lightning strikes a tree 60 feet from you.
CommunistCow on
No, I am not really communist. Yes, it is weird that I use this name.
That's one of my lifetime wishes, you know; to be in the middle of a really intense thunderstorm. It seems every time there's ever been a storm, it's been moving away, and it's never been closer than 5 miles away (based on the mile/second thing).
Are you talking about the lightning, and the delay between the flash and the sound of thunder?
And also...you haven't been in the middle of an intense thunderstorm? WHAT? How is that even possible? Have you lived in a desert most of your life?
Maybe your definition of "intense" and my definition are different, or something. Or maybe you're just...sheltered.
[tiny]...from awesome storms, that is. olol![/tiny]
Yeah, I mean that the delay between flash and thunder has never been closer than about 5 seconds. And that was counting real slow-like.
Also, western Washington just doesn't get very intense thunderstorms*. That, and I think I may repel them somehow. I have yet to formally test this theory†, though. And I haven't had much better luck here in Spain, despite the fact that I've been told their thunderstorms are usually pretty intense.
* My definition is lightning strikes closer than 5 seconds away, and more frequent than one every seven seconds or so. Possibly "and/or"
[tiny]†Presumably by going to Kansas or some other storm-heavy state with a tin-foil hat, holding a ten-foot metal pole in the air.[/tiny]
I've started to understand what has caused me to become so apathetic about work lately.
Spoilered for length and its minimal relevance to most people who don't associate with tiny islands in Alaska.
I work at a small weekly newspaper. I'm the only reporter and I'm responsible for all the content, including stories and photos. There is one woman I work with who runs the office stuff (register, subscriptions, office supplies, classified ads) and there is another one who does layout. Now, I end up wasting a good portion of my week after working the usual 9-5 at meetings and at other events taking pictures and gathering stuff for the paper. Normally these are things I don't want to do in the first place. But, hey, it's an opportunity to do good work and, you know, build a portfolio for future work.
The problem is, the woman that does layout is terrible. Terrible at most everything. For instance, I had to shoot the High School Prom last weekend. She put in four good photos, which is great, but she chose the title, "From Grand March to Limbo, this year's prom was Beach-y." And I shudder when I type that. So, now that she's committed that abomination to print I'll never actually be able to use those photos as clippings in the future. So, basically, I wasted a good portion of my Saturday night, doing something I really didn't want to do, and now have something incredibly terrible and ridiculous to show for it.
She's been bothering me to put in a story for the last two weeks about Close Up, which is a program through the High School that gets some kids together to study the democratic process, and later take a trip to Washington DC. Her logic for that is that it will make the parents of those kids happy to see it in the paper. She's right there. However, she's willing to put that in the paper for those 5 students who were involved, but she's not willing to put in the photos I took of the Little League season opener, something the parents of those 100 kids would probably be interested in seeing. She does these things because her kids are involved in Close Up. And now all the time I spent photographing there has been wasted.
What's worse is that she's not even my boss, she stymies most attempts I make to improve this newspaper through her ham-handed layout job, she encourages people to ask me to do a story about an event they have coming up, instead of encouraging them to buy advertising, and she's generally very passive aggressive about getting her way. She actually wrote to my boss to get him to tell me to do the Close Up article, and because my boss is on another island I've yet to be able to make my case regarding her goofy priorities.
Basically, it makes me not care about my work, because she either shits it up, or tries to put other shit in its place. I don't really care about science fairs in the first place, but if I'm going to cover it it better not get a terrible title and become completely unusable and mildly embarrassing.
Anyway, I'm whining abloo abloo.
Just tell her the truth. I mean, tell her that she just keeps wasting your time, that all those photo's are being wasted, and your about to let 100 parents down, that her title for the newspaper was beach-y. If she's ballzy enough to fuck shit up, you got to ballzy enough to fuck back yo.
Posts
Hmmm.
A phone rings.
"Cut-cut!" Yelled the director. Nancy pulls off her wig in a single angry yank "you mean I have to do that scene again?!", she scowled as she pulls a lit cigarrette from in between her chest.
Nancy was never keen on smarts... or female charm... and was seemingly incapable of sitting crossed leg, an ability that seemed to work in her favor in the shallow world of Hamburger Ads. "this is the most unprofessional shoot of my entire career" she says as she takes a drag from her cigarette.
A man in a hamburger costume walks in, "is it time for my scene yet?"
From a technical perspective, they covered the points in that thread pretty completely. I'm not sure that I can add anything.
But I'll try anyways.
Basically, it just feels awkward, like you are getting someplace with a girl for the first time. You kind of know what you want to do, but have no clue how to get there.
Just keep practicing, and you'll find what works.
EDIT: And consider yourself lucky. I posted a poem in there and got basically no responses.
EDIT 2: Ah yes, http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=72705
I have to admit, I've been wonder how awkward my poems would be if I sent audio versions of me reading them. With a number of the poets I've had to read this semester I didn't really "get" them or even like them until they were read aloud by someone who already knew how they were "supposed" to read. I guess its difficult to get the poem on the page in such a way that the reader gets exactly what you're trying to do without forcing that upon them.
That's part of the craft. Figuring out how to structure the stanzas so that they are naturally read in the best way. Of course, some things are just better out loud, like hearing Neruda in the original Spanish read by a poet with a deep, sultry voice.
(not that it stops people from trying...)
I just read this but I wanted to let you know it made me laugh very hard.
I wish I had one. If I did I would wear it alllll day today. There is nothing like programming in a sombrero.
My brother once left a sombrero in my car for some reason... then we gave this girl a ride and told her that everyone that gets in the car for the first time has to wear the sombrero. She wore it and we had a great big laugh at her expense.
man they should've called themselves '2 girls 1 cup(cake)'
Your goldfish got krunk off tequila and then ate them.
I'd eat there.
yeah they probably should have told you that beforehand
also, how's the assignment coming? or did you decide not to do it?
I mean, my art isn't that great, but among them is like "holy shit man!"...its getting annoying, I was trying to help them be better artist. To improve their art, but now...they are writing scripts...fuck, and they come to me and talk about writing...They aren't saying whats on their minds, but I know exactly what they are implying...They think writing would be much easier than drawing. IT ISN'T! Any art form is just as hard as the next.
i have to wait until commissions are all done with
at this rate, i am busy for at least another 3 weeks
but once i get a clear-spot.. that assignment will occur. OH YES. it will.
also ... i find writing easy, personally. unless it's an essay. man, screw essays. i've won writing contests before. i started doing art after i stopped writing. art is a lot more fulfilling, i find.
I've got a sombrero built for two
Spoilered for length and its minimal relevance to most people who don't associate with tiny islands in Alaska.
The problem is, the woman that does layout is terrible. Terrible at most everything. For instance, I had to shoot the High School Prom last weekend. She put in four good photos, which is great, but she chose the title, "From Grand March to Limbo, this year's prom was Beach-y." And I shudder when I type that. So, now that she's committed that abomination to print I'll never actually be able to use those photos as clippings in the future. So, basically, I wasted a good portion of my Saturday night, doing something I really didn't want to do, and now have something incredibly terrible and ridiculous to show for it.
She's been bothering me to put in a story for the last two weeks about Close Up, which is a program through the High School that gets some kids together to study the democratic process, and later take a trip to Washington DC. Her logic for that is that it will make the parents of those kids happy to see it in the paper. She's right there. However, she's willing to put that in the paper for those 5 students who were involved, but she's not willing to put in the photos I took of the Little League season opener, something the parents of those 100 kids would probably be interested in seeing. She does these things because her kids are involved in Close Up. And now all the time I spent photographing there has been wasted.
What's worse is that she's not even my boss, she stymies most attempts I make to improve this newspaper through her ham-handed layout job, she encourages people to ask me to do a story about an event they have coming up, instead of encouraging them to buy advertising, and she's generally very passive aggressive about getting her way. She actually wrote to my boss to get him to tell me to do the Close Up article, and because my boss is on another island I've yet to be able to make my case regarding her goofy priorities.
Basically, it makes me not care about my work, because she either shits it up, or tries to put other shit in its place. I don't really care about science fairs in the first place, but if I'm going to cover it it better not get a terrible title and become completely unusable and mildly embarrassing.
Anyway, I'm whining abloo abloo.
Ryan M Long Photography
Buy my Prints!
Its worth whining about. You could always cover her car (or her) in honey or some other substance bears like and just see what happens.
You could also do an onion-esque story with photos about how she is trying to ruin your career. Then give that to her to do the layout for it.
You know personally- speaking as a man- I can say that I don't particularly look for a manly image while making my cupcake purchasing decisions.
Twitter
Huge thunderstorms are awesome when you are in a house and you can sit there reading a book next to the window. They, however, are not so cool when camping at 9,000+ feet and a bolt of lightning strikes a tree 60 feet from you.
Are you talking about the lightning, and the delay between the flash and the sound of thunder?
And also...you haven't been in the middle of an intense thunderstorm? WHAT? How is that even possible? Have you lived in a desert most of your life?
Maybe your definition of "intense" and my definition are different, or something. Or maybe you're just...sheltered.
[tiny]...from awesome storms, that is. olol![/tiny]
See Mully: solid marketing data. Tell those squares they don't know shit about what sells cupcakes.
Twitter
There needs to be FUCKING GUNS and grenades sticking out of those cupcakes. Also a nascar.
Also, western Washington just doesn't get very intense thunderstorms*. That, and I think I may repel them somehow. I have yet to formally test this theory†, though. And I haven't had much better luck here in Spain, despite the fact that I've been told their thunderstorms are usually pretty intense.
* My definition is lightning strikes closer than 5 seconds away, and more frequent than one every seven seconds or so. Possibly "and/or"
[tiny]†Presumably by going to Kansas or some other storm-heavy state with a tin-foil hat, holding a ten-foot metal pole in the air.[/tiny]
Just tell her the truth. I mean, tell her that she just keeps wasting your time, that all those photo's are being wasted, and your about to let 100 parents down, that her title for the newspaper was beach-y. If she's ballzy enough to fuck shit up, you got to ballzy enough to fuck back yo.
Through her front window.