Recently, I've had two delivered packages stolen before I could get them - and from what I can tell, they were stolen while inside my condo complex (by who seems to be a little fuck son of a neighbor). I can't prove it was him sadly, but according to other neighbors that have been there for a while, it seems highly likely. There are two issues I have that I need help with:
1) What do I need to do about these lost packages? One was delivered via UPS, the other by the USPS and both have been visually varified by neighbors as having been delivered/arrived to my complex. Neither were all that expensive. Do I need to file a report with the police? UPS? USPS? Hell, one of my neighbors suggested I contact the president of the condo association.
2) If this is the person who I'm thinking of, I was thinking of setting a trap package in an attempt to photographing him in the act, then calling the cops. This doesn't feel like it's completely on the up-and-up though - are there legality issues in doing something like this?
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https://postalinspectors.uspis.gov/contactUs/filecomplaint.aspx
OR:
1. Obtain a box that looks valuable (Newegg, Amazon, etc.)
2. Poop in said box.
3. Add a note stating "Stop stealing my shit" to the inside.
4. Leave box where it will be stolen.
Bonus points for adding a spring release mechanism.
2) No idea about legality. Might depend where you live.
Is the thread title a Superchunk reference or a coincidence? :P
Get something like a key locator that makes a loud ass noise, preferably when you push a button. So you can put it in a box and send it to yourself. Then when it arives and is gone, knock on their door, push the button, and if you hear the noise inside tell them to stop stealing your shit.
lol - it's coincidence, but I googled it after you brought it up. Doesn't sound bad
Ooooohhhh... very, very clever. I'll have to do some research on that.
Deer urine would work better with a spring loaded mechanism.
Currently painting: Slowly [flickr]
Do the kid's parents know?
The "kid" is apparently at least 18 and while she claims she doesn't know about it, the issues with this kid and his mom are varied - she's kicked him out a couple times, but somehow manages to get back in. Not only this, I've seen this kid sleeping in the hallway a couple times (not for a year now) and another neighbor says this kid has definitely broken into another condo before it was sold (known - no charges filed for some stupid reason) and another that is currently vacant (implied only).
As for my planning strats - I've found a couple battery powered smoke detectors with a remote for testing. While the key finder is an interesting idea, my fear is that it'll not be loud enough. A smoke detector on the other hand...
Put on a skimask and mudstomp the "kid" next time you see him sleeping in the hallway.
How bout a dye pack that will pop in the kids face. (wouldnt know where to get those)
I heard of someone who pulled this gag on someone else... the victim was so freaked he tried to shoot the spider (went to jail for weapons charges so the story goes). Just make sure it's big enough it can't get under anyone's door.
You'll probably face some charges yourself if you try it, but goddamn... that's how you get revenge.
Alternately: I believe Microsoft Streets comes with a little GPS locator thing to stick on your car. Could mail yourself the gps locator and follow it, though I'd advise you to hide it inside a product that they would want to keep otherwise they'll just throw out the box. Also dont forget to make sure the box has some weight to it.
Hmmm, the old version of streets just had a chip you could stick to your car (no idea how it is powered or if it'd actually work), the new one seems to have a usb stick you'd need to attach to a laptop. Scratch that my idea probably won't work.
At my old work, we used to sell these sort of sonic alert things. Basically it was a small grenade shaped object with a pin. When you removed the pin, it emitted an extremely high pitched alarm sound that doesn't shut off until the pin is replaced. I believe they were originally intended as rape whistles or something.
Anyways, I had some stupid fucking old man stealing my packages. I knew it was him because I saw him toss out the box for my package once, and when I called him on it he raised hell with the strata council saying I was harassing a senior. I was well liked in the building so the charge didn't stick, but I couldn't get the old fuck either. So revenge it was.
I got one of the sonic emitters (or as I started calling them, Sonic Grenades), and deliberately broke the pin so that it couldn't be replaced (except by me of course), put it in a box and rigged it so when the package was opened, the pin would be pulled out and wouldn't be able to be replaced. Stuck all the traditional packaging on it and put it in the mailroom where packages usually get left.
Later I come home to find a bunch of angry residents yelling at the Land lord and the beautiful sound of high pitched alarm bells filling the building. Apparently the ringing had been going on for hours and people were getting really pissed (why no one just took apart the stupid thing is beyond me, but whatever). The old guy was just standing there looking guilty, but he did flash a glare at me long enough for me to smirk back.
I guess he didn't like that as he starts yelling about how it was my package and how I'm mailing bombs and I'm a terrorist who hates old people, to which I calmly responded: "If it was my package, why were you opening it?" before laughing in his face and casually moving on.
He got evicted and charged, he tried to get the cops to arrest me for mailing bombs or whatever but the cops just hit me with a mischief misdemeanor and then dropped that later.
The best thing about it is that none of the other residents think I had anything to do with it, they all believe that "nasty old man" was just trying to get out of trouble by blaming me.
Basically, just picture a regular frag grenade. Once you pull the pin, its active. Only instead of fire and shrapnel, the sonic grenade emits a high pitched alarm sound.
Mailboxes are federal, three years max. I know this because a friend of mine back in high school attempted mailbox baseball.
Oh, I'm not saying taking something isn't illegal. I'm saying that if you get a piece of mail put in your hands by the post office, you can open it. I didn't mean to imply you get to keep whatever goodies you find.
The day I get a piece of misdirected mail worth opening instead of tearing up in a fit of bank spam hating rage, I'll post about it.
There's no reason why this guy should have to do anything just because some stupid kid keeps stealing his mail. I like the poop in a box idea, and I like the loud noise emitter.
I think that the key ingredient that you need for this project is something that can be triggered remotely, while still remaining small enough that it can be concealed. That, or a skunk.
Actually, to think of it, I like the skunk idea.
1) Punk picks up box, probably shakes it a bit
2) Said punk takes the box into his room
3) Box gets opened, skunk is angry and proceeds to spray all over his room.
Also, you don't need to worry about the skunk firing at you (well, you do, but once it gets in the box you're safe). So now all you need is a skunk. And a box.
This doesn't work with spam. Commercial bulk rate mail is (to the advantage of the postal service and to the sender) generally one way only (first class can be returned, cheaper rates usually can't be), they won't take it back, and if you try to make them take it back more often then not you'll see it again tomorrow.
Which is why it's best to open it, check if there's a prepaid envelop, and if there is, tear up everything else, put it in the prepaid envelope, and send it. They'll get the message plain enough.
Man, I laugh at just the thought of that.
TITLE 18--CRIMES AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE
PART I--CRIMES
CHAPTER 83--POSTAL SERVICE
Sec. 1702. Obstruction of correspondence
Whoever takes any letter, postal card, or package out of any post
office or any authorized depository for mail matter, or from any letter
or mail carrier, or which has been in any post office or authorized
depository, or in the custody of any letter or mail carrier, before it
has been delivered to the person to whom it was directed, with design to
obstruct the correspondence, or to pry into the business or secrets of
another, or opens, secretes, embezzles, or destroys the same, shall be
fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
Note the bolded. If you find a piece of mail that's been delivered and the person in question leaves it hanging around, you can open it. I guess the definition of "delivered" is the question here.
You beat me to it but what GothicLargo said was incorrect.
So... my address, not my name, old occupant. You're saying it needs to be returned.
I am saying I have had this fight with my postmaster. I bring in a pile of junk mail to my address but not my name and say "return this frak, your driver isn't taking it out of the box even though I've told him to face to face". Postmaster says to just pitch it. I say to the postmaster, "no, return it so they'll stop sending it." Postmaster says "it's bulk rate, you'll have to pay for a first class stamp to return it. Just throw it out."
Explain please?
(This is not a small problem, I get about a shoebox worth of trash mail a month intended for old occupants.)
What I coded in red above is what is incorrect. If the postmaster said to junk it then junk it. In general you write return to sender and put it in your mailbox. There's not much you can do about junkmail but that's a separate matter.
AH. Ok...
"Delivered parcels are theft."
Context: Oh hey, look a box on the neighbor's porch. And a newspaper too, cool. Yonk.
Theft.
I don't really want to argue this with you but you wrote, "if you get a piece of mail put in your hands by the post office, you can open it". That is not the same as taking something from a neighbor's porch.
Besides, yes it IS Theft, whether it is a FEDERAL OFFENSE is what was being argued.
Edit: OP talk to your association about it. They hate that kind of stuff and they will definitely help you out. Maybe other people have reported the same problem as well.
The US code I quoted doesn't specifically say that.
Gothic didn't write that - Iceman did.