My wife had her 15th week ultrasound today. Tomorrow she'll be undergoing AFT because some very heavy indicators of Downs/Edwards/Turners were established. Pretty bummed out about all that, the missus is in shambles and i'm left wondering where to go from here.
I always considered abortion a valid option when dealing with these kind of situations. Funny how that's not such an easy decision to make when it's you making it. Not that there's a lot of doubt as to what we'll do, but it's not a clean getaway for my conscience, you know?
Tell me your thoughts and help me put some perspective on this. Or post some puppies because i am sadfacing pretty hard right here.
Oh and if you've had a particularly rough day yourself, i guess here is a good a place as any to let it all out.
Viscount Islands[INSERT SoKo HERE]...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered Userregular
edited May 2010
And yeah, I don't really want to give you my thoughts because this is one of those things where I know my opinion is utterly useless and completely lacking in perspective.
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What spring does with the cherry trees.
But, it seems nobody is willing to touch this with a thirty foot pole. Have i found SE's weakspot? Don't make me go to H&A this is sad enough as it is.
(just kidding this is such a shitty topic i know it's just holy interbnal conflict batman)
But, it seems nobody is willing to touch this with a thirty foot pole. Have i found SE's weakspot? Don't make me go to H&A this is sad enough as it is.
(just kidding this is such a shitty topic i know it's just holy interbnal conflict batman)
My heart goes out to you man.
But if you want senseless brutality, I could always post a pic of a great big coathanger.
On the real, though, thats a shit situation.
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HunterChemist with a heart of AuRegistered Userregular
Man, I can't even imagine being in your situation. It's such an extremely personal decision, I wouldn't pretend to think I'd know what I would do in your shoes.
Well obviously, children with downs syndrome can lead happy and healthy lives. The flip-side, of course, is that it takes a tremendous amount of work on behalf of the parents, to the point where some of their goals might be a bit sidelined.
And like you said, ideally you have a thought in your head about what you would do in a situation, but it's completely different when you're in that situation.
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Magus`The fun has been DOUBLED!Registered Userregular
edited May 2010
Well, if you wanna go about it logically, you should think about it like this -
A child with Down's will not necessarily be mentally retarded (even if it is common). This means there is a chance he or she can lead a relatively normal life.
The other two issues seem to be more severe (physically).
The question I pose to you is are you willing to deal with the worse case scenario? I'm not saying this as a judgment call or to say that you SHOULD BE, merely how you feel about it. There is a good chance that if your child suffers from any of these syndromes you will be required to do a lot of extra work (on top of what is already a difficult thing to do, in most cases) that can put a strain on many things - including your relationship.
If it was up to me, and the chance was high, I think abortion is a logical answer. Of course, logic is not something that is easily used in a case like this where emotions run high and attachments may already exist. One thing is for certain though is the longer you wait the harder it is.
Sadly, there is no 100% right answer here, but I will say you shouldn't feel bad for any decision you make.
Well obviously, children with downs syndrome can lead happy and healthy lives. The flip-side, of course, is that it takes a tremendous amount of work on behalf of the parents, to the point where some of their goals might be a bit sidelined.
And like you said, ideally you have a thought in your head about what you would do in a situation, but it's completely different when you're in that situation.
Most people are used to seeing people with Downs Syndrome that are highly functional. On TV shows and stuff it looks like no big deal.
People with Downs who are very low functioning are difficult to witness. Very sad.
I can't say I have any experience in this kind of thing, its a really difficult and personal decision. As hard as its going to be on you remember that it will probably be twice as difficult on your wife.
oh i forgot, heavy mongoloid is pretty much best-case scenario at this point. like 80 % of the 50% chance that it' s indeed a deficiency. 20% it's like some really unfortunate creature.
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that is tough as hell, though
What spring does with the cherry trees.
hope everything works out though, and sorry ya'll gotta go through a situation like that
I'm really sorry to hear about your hardship, bwanie. That's fucked as hell, man.
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What spring does with the cherry trees.
It's just that i'd never expected this need to rationalize it.
It's weird man.
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But, it seems nobody is willing to touch this with a thirty foot pole. Have i found SE's weakspot? Don't make me go to H&A this is sad enough as it is.
(just kidding this is such a shitty topic i know it's just holy interbnal conflict batman)
Brograbs to you
all you can really do is what your heart tells you.
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
My heart goes out to you man.
But if you want senseless brutality, I could always post a pic of a great big coathanger.
On the real, though, thats a shit situation.
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What spring does with the cherry trees.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6lY8UmMIUY
The dinosaurs didn't exist?
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And like you said, ideally you have a thought in your head about what you would do in a situation, but it's completely different when you're in that situation.
A child with Down's will not necessarily be mentally retarded (even if it is common). This means there is a chance he or she can lead a relatively normal life.
The other two issues seem to be more severe (physically).
The question I pose to you is are you willing to deal with the worse case scenario? I'm not saying this as a judgment call or to say that you SHOULD BE, merely how you feel about it. There is a good chance that if your child suffers from any of these syndromes you will be required to do a lot of extra work (on top of what is already a difficult thing to do, in most cases) that can put a strain on many things - including your relationship.
If it was up to me, and the chance was high, I think abortion is a logical answer. Of course, logic is not something that is easily used in a case like this where emotions run high and attachments may already exist. One thing is for certain though is the longer you wait the harder it is.
Sadly, there is no 100% right answer here, but I will say you shouldn't feel bad for any decision you make.
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Or Degrassi, or something.
I don't know how the observability of north-east Asia from your domicile has any impact on the current predicament.
Most people are used to seeing people with Downs Syndrome that are highly functional. On TV shows and stuff it looks like no big deal.
People with Downs who are very low functioning are difficult to witness. Very sad.
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Keep your head up man.
kill that baby or don't but i guess you gotta have you a serious talk
nice hyperbole
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I'm not sure but I don't think that's the case with Autism.
Just, normal normal normal, kid hits 3, BAM-RETARDBABY!
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
Cause I think that's a big factor when raising a kid in that sort of situation
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
healthcare takes care of a lot. poor people can do it. i'm moderately well off myself.
it's the other price that can be to steep. which i think it is for us.
Welp good luck in whatever decision you make!
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Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
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It's the vaccines, and being exposed to Jenny McCarthy.
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alright teefs you got me. that guy agrees with you
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.