FramlingFaceHeadGeebs has bad ideas.Registered Userregular
edited May 2011
I liked it, but there was some rough-around-the-edges-ness. Specifically, the Red Faction TV movie bit felt more op-ed than news-anchor-y (lots of hand movements and more conversational vocal tone).
Also, if the goal is news-show-verisimilitude, the graphics could be more shiny-looking, and less flat, solid colors.
Definitely enjoyed it, though. More, plz.
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
This was pretty good, though I agree the sound felt a bit off and I'm glad they're doing something with it. Haven't watched much Loading Ready Run but I'm still a big fan of I Have Three PS3's.
Needs better lighting and set decoration to sell the experience.
I'll agree with this. Needs to look more like a news show than the intro to a Sonic the Hedgehog level.
The timing on the jokes was sketchy as well. The third party Wii game joke felt like an eternity and there really only needed to be one joke about looking at something that wasn't in fact a PS3.
In the end there are worse ways to spend four and a half minutes and I think it'll get better when they have a little more experience doing these kinds of shows.
"This sounds bad. I can tell from some of the waves and from having heard a lot of sounds in my time."
I agree with the advice to get a little buzz going before recording, though. I mean, don't get drunk, obviously, but it's really distracting when the nervousness of the presenters makes you feel nervous for them by proxy.
However, I like this WAY better than the Mega64 stuff, so I'll support it by watching 'em and continuing to buy delicious Sierra Mist and blazing T-Mobile 4G!
I think some people got kind of technical on why they thought it sounded off, but it isn't some crazy nit picking problem. There's something wrong with the sound. It doesn't sound like it's being done in a studio, it sounds like the people are far away from the mic or something - it sounds unprofessional. Not in the sense that it's bad, it just doesn't sound like, for instance, the PATV documentary series.
I read the first page of this thread before watching. Maybe I was brainwashed. But the sound bothered me so much that I could barely understand what was being said by the first male. The female and the second male were a bit more understandable. So I don't really know what's going on.
Because of this I could really only comment on the PSN scene. It was decent. Lower than Ledo and Ix, but higher than Mega64 and more importantly higher than "do I want to keep watching these?" Keep up the good work guys I look forward to more of your stuff.
People were probably expecting something more similar to The Soup, or The Daily Show, or The Onion.
Your show had a very cheery and outright silly vibe, straight through it. It's a bit different, not necessarily bad.
He was probably expecting a more deadpan style news delivery, followed with a faux serious discussion- with the discussion unexpectedly providing humor or a parody of the situation discussed.
Sony was already mined for jokes prior to this airing, so the show lost some freshness. A lot of it doesn't necessarily have to be real info, but a humorous original perspective.
You might consider covering people like developers with large reputations or professional gaming celebrities, just to catch fresher content.
All of that said, I figure that folks don't yet know what they want to expect.
For me, this episode had enough magic to keep me interested in watching the next few episodes.
Virgil_Leads_You on
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
edited May 2011
To be fair the is your ps3 safe thing was funny.
It just tried to pull one too many joke out of it.
I enjoyed it, but I have also enjoyed the many other videos LRR has done previously. ENN is fun to watch, and this reminds me of that. The "look for your PS3" bit was funny, and I think it going long is part of the joke. The egg bit was good too.
I agree the sound seemed muffled, and after reading some of the technical discussion on it, I think it'll be fine for the next episode. Don't know why people are so cynical about the show (or any of the side shows PATV has brought in), but seems like if it's not PATV or Blams, they aren't good enough.
I thought it was worth the four minutes or however long it was. The jokes were funny, if not hilarious, they just need to drag some of them out a bit less. I think these are going to improve rapidly.
I agree with some of the above comments, I feel these shows work better when presented completely straight, it needs to feel like a real news show, not a comedy news show. Giving the different newscasters distinct personalities could be good too, and you could get a lot of funny out of the banter between them. I'm interested to see where this goes either way though, so I'll definitely keep watching.
I'll watch the next episode. Seems like it might be good.
I haven't found any of the PS3 humor floating around to be funny. So, not finding that funny is probably just me.
I agree with Framling on the hand movement. The whole time during that bit, I was just looking at her hands and wondering why she was doing that. "News people don't do that. Why is she doing that." It was distracting.
The 'how safe is your PS3' skit was pretty good(I chuckled) but I wasn't blown away by the rest of the show. Something about the delivery bothered me, I can only quantify it as the actors seemed like they wrote there own lines and they were overly proud of the material they had produced so it gave of a bit of a ass slapping vibe through out the show. If the delivery was stone cold serious but what they were saying was pure insanity(i.e. Brass Eye) I think the show would be stronger.
I enjoyed it regardless and I think it's strongest 3rd party show so far, keep it up guys.
faitsa panda eating cakeseattleRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
I like most of mega64's stuff (I've even bought some of their DVDs at pax in the past) but none of the stuff they put up on patv really did it for me.
This, conversely, seems better that LRR's stuff from the escapist (which I had never seen before someone linked to it in this thread.) Didn't really care for what I saw of ENN, but checkpoint seems like it will be pretty good.
I'm not really the comedy expert, but after watching every ENN (and liking it), I have a few things I want to add. I know you are stone skinned on this so here is my ¢2.076628 cents on the matter (Converted to Canadian currency, of course, as our dollar is just a hair stronger than yours)
The Good:
ENN and Checkpoint seems to evolved out of Phailhaüs.
Only now am I discovering that Phailhaüs is a mix of "Phallus" and "hail" along with a diacritic that went along for the ride. That aside, Phailhaüs was one of the most amusing little bits you have ever done. What made it so good was you kept the news very tight. Most of them had you sitting on a desk chair with an uncombed cowlick, but your announcer-like delivery was (and still is) very professional and well timed. It's a joy to watch and listen to. The short snaps of bizarre observation is what sold me on Phailhaüs, ENN, and even Checkpoint. At least, when it came to your side of the table.
The Bad:
a) Going way past the point of no return
I would invite you to take some time to watch some 4th panels for a little bit. Notice how Jerry and Mike try and cram "the funny" into very little space. Now, I understand that this is a medium that is different than yours, but as a writer there are lessons to take away from it. Another web comic, Ctrl-Alt-Del, goes past the point of no return in almost every comic. You can consistently drop whole panels and dialog from that comic and it turns out consistently better. Going past the point of no return It takes a funny concept and runs it into the ground. We like short and punchy. If you have to explain, or feel like you didn't get the point across, drop it. Your writing will thank you for it. ****** Example : "Are you safe" would have been better with a PS3, an Atari 2600, and a toaster ("You have a Atari 2600, which has very little internet connectivity")
b) Kathleen
I love Kathleen... I really really do, but she really needs to turn it down a notch, and not in a cute one finger pointy kind of way. She is a very attractive nerd girl, which is a massive plus. However, she is seriously chewing the scenery, and it's suffering because of it. She. Is. Trying. Too. Damn. Hard. The mugging, the wild flailing of arms or wagging of fingers. It needs to stop. ****** How to fix : Have her sit down with a local news show and parrot back the monologue. Have her notice that there is a reason women newscasters sound the same. Observe some Tina Fay Weekend Update, see how she takes that "voice" when behind the desk. The Onion does a pretty good job of this too. For fun, compare and contrast Fox news if you can get it. Keep in mind Fox is punditry, which is different. On that same note, stay away from Daily Show. Sam Bee is a doing pundit satire, which requires a different kind of voice. Kathleen will need to do some homework on this one. I really want her to succeed!
c) Paul
He's trying to the Onion's technology guy "Jeff Tate". This isn't a bad thing, but Paul has a real hard time talking crisply and clearly. That's just how he is. Playing the silent "everydude" in ENN was a good gag for him. He also tends to chew the scenery too. His movements are not natural and seem hammy. ****** How to fix: He could probably go better with a hand microphone. Maybe placing him in absurd environments behind the green screen might work. A beard maybe? (a full one, not the goatee he was sporting forever)
d) Man in the street
I'm being a little unfair here. I know that Jeremy wasn't in this one, but if Checkpoint is a re-tooled ENN, he's going to be the man in the street. Here is where you need to look at Daily Show and at Jason Jones. Also, there is a brilliant British satire video on how to make a "man on the street" segment. Even though it's meant for satire, you can take away a lot of good stuff from it. Once again, look at the mechanics of a real human interest segment from real newscasts. Where is the camera pointing. What kind of wipes are being used, when do absurd graphs pop up?
I want you to take away this... The Daily Show is often confused for a real news show. The reason why is because because it's built exactly the same as one. Everything from the input of information, to the writing distillation, to the final presentation is mechanically the same. They just package the end result different. They have to be tooled like that because that’s how those kind of shows digest information.
I didn't mean to make this long, I just wanted to give real, honest input. I'll be watching... and judging. I want this to work as much as you do.
tl;dr this can go places if you point in the right direction.
Firstly, huge thanks for the constructive feedback.
You make some good points and there are some things I'm sure we'll take into further consideration. So, thank you.
However (and not to discredit your points), I'd like to respond with:
The show you are suggesting we strive for, is not the show we are trying to make.
We love ONN, The Daily Show, Weekend Update, Brass Eye etc. Those are all huge inspirations to us, unquestionably.
But we're not trying to be a "fake news show" in the same way. We aren't concerned with making things seem "like a news show would do". That why our music and graphics don't look like a real news show, unlike what we did with ENN. It's why I'm not wearing a tie anymore.
If you look at very early ENN on the Escapist, it's very dry. Very dry, and serious, and no winking to camera.
We love that, it's fun and it's something we enjoy doing. But it didn't really click with a majority of people, so we decided to switch it up to a different style of delivery that (while different) we also enjoy.
When we were talking to PA about the show, we asked for their feedback on what "era" of ENN they felt would best click with the PATV audience. We felt this was the best direction to go, and they agreed.
So, I'm not going to claim that we're "striking new ground" or some bollocks, but we're not trying to be the "ONN for gaming" or "The Brass Eye for gaming", we're just trying to make our own jokes, in our own way. Kathleen isn't trying to be "a Tina Fey", she's really just being herself (albeit it an amplified "herself", which is what we all do). She ain't fakin', that's how she rolls.
Conclusion: We don't want to be confused for a "real" news show, we're just making jokes about the stuff.
Posts
Also, if the goal is news-show-verisimilitude, the graphics could be more shiny-looking, and less flat, solid colors.
Definitely enjoyed it, though. More, plz.
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
some of the lines were great, but some fell flat
so it was like a bell curve of comedy
Some of the jokes were funny. The ones that were really "the truth", rather than posturing.
I'll keep one of my eyes open.
I'm mixed on its humor potential
I'll agree with this. Needs to look more like a news show than the intro to a Sonic the Hedgehog level.
The timing on the jokes was sketchy as well. The third party Wii game joke felt like an eternity and there really only needed to be one joke about looking at something that wasn't in fact a PS3.
In the end there are worse ways to spend four and a half minutes and I think it'll get better when they have a little more experience doing these kinds of shows.
Steam | Live
Because they pronounce it aboot.
Satans..... hints.....
More than a year? http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/escapist-news-network
Not outrageously funny but enough to justify watching it for four minutes
http://www.audioentropy.com/
And yea, the sound was junk. Mud would be a good way to describe it.
As for the rest? Some of it was funny, most of it had a feel of "we put together a news broadcast in college's senior level TV production class".
Likely just going to pass on this.
"This sounds bad. I can tell from some of the waves and from having heard a lot of sounds in my time."
I agree with the advice to get a little buzz going before recording, though. I mean, don't get drunk, obviously, but it's really distracting when the nervousness of the presenters makes you feel nervous for them by proxy.
However, I like this WAY better than the Mega64 stuff, so I'll support it by watching 'em and continuing to buy delicious Sierra Mist and blazing T-Mobile 4G!
Steam BoardGameGeek Twitter
Hollow? I don't know I'm not a film guy.
Steam BoardGameGeek Twitter
Well then nevermind. My hopes for this just sank like the titanic.
Steam | Live
Anyway, I found it funny enough that I'd watch again
Because of this I could really only comment on the PSN scene. It was decent. Lower than Ledo and Ix, but higher than Mega64 and more importantly higher than "do I want to keep watching these?" Keep up the good work guys I look forward to more of your stuff.
We are addressing whatever sound issue you're encountering. Thank you.
Please check back next week!
We love (love!) constructive feedback.
Your show had a very cheery and outright silly vibe, straight through it. It's a bit different, not necessarily bad.
He was probably expecting a more deadpan style news delivery, followed with a faux serious discussion- with the discussion unexpectedly providing humor or a parody of the situation discussed.
Sony was already mined for jokes prior to this airing, so the show lost some freshness. A lot of it doesn't necessarily have to be real info, but a humorous original perspective.
You might consider covering people like developers with large reputations or professional gaming celebrities, just to catch fresher content.
All of that said, I figure that folks don't yet know what they want to expect.
For me, this episode had enough magic to keep me interested in watching the next few episodes.
It just tried to pull one too many joke out of it.
Satans..... hints.....
Tumblr/Artblog | DevArt
Girl: *double-guns-camera-mug*
Guy: Eh, bring it down a little...
Girl: *single-gun-camera-mug*
Guy: Yeah, that's good.
Heh.
Steam BoardGameGeek Twitter
I agree the sound seemed muffled, and after reading some of the technical discussion on it, I think it'll be fine for the next episode. Don't know why people are so cynical about the show (or any of the side shows PATV has brought in), but seems like if it's not PATV or Blams, they aren't good enough.
I haven't found any of the PS3 humor floating around to be funny. So, not finding that funny is probably just me.
I agree with Framling on the hand movement. The whole time during that bit, I was just looking at her hands and wondering why she was doing that. "News people don't do that. Why is she doing that." It was distracting.
I enjoyed it regardless and I think it's strongest 3rd party show so far, keep it up guys.
What if my PS3 is black, furry and wont stop sleeping on my part of the sofa?
Then your PS3 is a cat, and is safe, except if you accidentally sit on it and then it will claw your butt, so it's not entirely safe.
Chalk me up on the "couldn't tell the sound was odd" crowd.
STEAM
This, conversely, seems better that LRR's stuff from the escapist (which I had never seen before someone linked to it in this thread.) Didn't really care for what I saw of ENN, but checkpoint seems like it will be pretty good.
http://www.audioentropy.com/
Good to hear we're not going crazy.
Regardless, it's all been fixed for Monday.
I'm not really the comedy expert, but after watching every ENN (and liking it), I have a few things I want to add. I know you are stone skinned on this so here is my ¢2.076628 cents on the matter (Converted to Canadian currency, of course, as our dollar is just a hair stronger than yours)
The Good:
ENN and Checkpoint seems to evolved out of Phailhaüs.
Only now am I discovering that Phailhaüs is a mix of "Phallus" and "hail" along with a diacritic that went along for the ride. That aside, Phailhaüs was one of the most amusing little bits you have ever done. What made it so good was you kept the news very tight. Most of them had you sitting on a desk chair with an uncombed cowlick, but your announcer-like delivery was (and still is) very professional and well timed. It's a joy to watch and listen to. The short snaps of bizarre observation is what sold me on Phailhaüs, ENN, and even Checkpoint. At least, when it came to your side of the table.
The Bad:
a) Going way past the point of no return
I would invite you to take some time to watch some 4th panels for a little bit. Notice how Jerry and Mike try and cram "the funny" into very little space. Now, I understand that this is a medium that is different than yours, but as a writer there are lessons to take away from it. Another web comic, Ctrl-Alt-Del, goes past the point of no return in almost every comic. You can consistently drop whole panels and dialog from that comic and it turns out consistently better. Going past the point of no return It takes a funny concept and runs it into the ground. We like short and punchy. If you have to explain, or feel like you didn't get the point across, drop it. Your writing will thank you for it.
****** Example : "Are you safe" would have been better with a PS3, an Atari 2600, and a toaster ("You have a Atari 2600, which has very little internet connectivity")
b) Kathleen
I love Kathleen... I really really do, but she really needs to turn it down a notch, and not in a cute one finger pointy kind of way. She is a very attractive nerd girl, which is a massive plus. However, she is seriously chewing the scenery, and it's suffering because of it. She. Is. Trying. Too. Damn. Hard. The mugging, the wild flailing of arms or wagging of fingers. It needs to stop.
****** How to fix : Have her sit down with a local news show and parrot back the monologue. Have her notice that there is a reason women newscasters sound the same. Observe some Tina Fay Weekend Update, see how she takes that "voice" when behind the desk. The Onion does a pretty good job of this too. For fun, compare and contrast Fox news if you can get it. Keep in mind Fox is punditry, which is different. On that same note, stay away from Daily Show. Sam Bee is a doing pundit satire, which requires a different kind of voice. Kathleen will need to do some homework on this one. I really want her to succeed!
c) Paul
He's trying to the Onion's technology guy "Jeff Tate". This isn't a bad thing, but Paul has a real hard time talking crisply and clearly. That's just how he is. Playing the silent "everydude" in ENN was a good gag for him. He also tends to chew the scenery too. His movements are not natural and seem hammy.
****** How to fix: He could probably go better with a hand microphone. Maybe placing him in absurd environments behind the green screen might work. A beard maybe? (a full one, not the goatee he was sporting forever)
d) Man in the street
I'm being a little unfair here. I know that Jeremy wasn't in this one, but if Checkpoint is a re-tooled ENN, he's going to be the man in the street. Here is where you need to look at Daily Show and at Jason Jones. Also, there is a brilliant British satire video on how to make a "man on the street" segment. Even though it's meant for satire, you can take away a lot of good stuff from it. Once again, look at the mechanics of a real human interest segment from real newscasts. Where is the camera pointing. What kind of wipes are being used, when do absurd graphs pop up?
I want you to take away this... The Daily Show is often confused for a real news show. The reason why is because because it's built exactly the same as one. Everything from the input of information, to the writing distillation, to the final presentation is mechanically the same. They just package the end result different. They have to be tooled like that because that’s how those kind of shows digest information.
I didn't mean to make this long, I just wanted to give real, honest input. I'll be watching... and judging. I want this to work as much as you do.
tl;dr this can go places if you point in the right direction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHun58mz3vI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ
You make some good points and there are some things I'm sure we'll take into further consideration. So, thank you.
However (and not to discredit your points), I'd like to respond with:
We love ONN, The Daily Show, Weekend Update, Brass Eye etc. Those are all huge inspirations to us, unquestionably.
But we're not trying to be a "fake news show" in the same way. We aren't concerned with making things seem "like a news show would do". That why our music and graphics don't look like a real news show, unlike what we did with ENN. It's why I'm not wearing a tie anymore.
If you look at very early ENN on the Escapist, it's very dry. Very dry, and serious, and no winking to camera.
We love that, it's fun and it's something we enjoy doing. But it didn't really click with a majority of people, so we decided to switch it up to a different style of delivery that (while different) we also enjoy.
When we were talking to PA about the show, we asked for their feedback on what "era" of ENN they felt would best click with the PATV audience. We felt this was the best direction to go, and they agreed.
So, I'm not going to claim that we're "striking new ground" or some bollocks, but we're not trying to be the "ONN for gaming" or "The Brass Eye for gaming", we're just trying to make our own jokes, in our own way. Kathleen isn't trying to be "a Tina Fey", she's really just being herself (albeit it an amplified "herself", which is what we all do). She ain't fakin', that's how she rolls.
Conclusion: We don't want to be confused for a "real" news show, we're just making jokes about the stuff.