heya, ive been doing a webcomic for a few months, and though id post a couple of em here since im a fan of penny arcade and your humor might be the same as mine.
Heres 2 of them, usually i do pretty giant comics with 20 or more pages but lately ive been trying out simple one page jokes to do on the side, so tell me what you think and ways you think i could improve, cheers
These are pretty solid! You seem to have a good sense of flow and the jokes work pretty well. I'd work on your lettering; the way things are crammed in makes it difficult to follow the wordier panels. The color also threw me off a bit; since the bacpack/headband weren't red in the first strip it took a second to register they were the same things.
thanks, means a lot man yeah im probably gonna start doing my lettering digitally (i do all the comics but hand and scan them in), also the second one ads the red because a different site is going to start hosting the one page comics so thats gonna be the basic layout from now on. you can read past issues at www.spacebeard.tumblr.com
thanks
No problem. Good idea with a different hosting format; the current interface to view your comics is pretty clunky. I like the red as a single-color accent, but i think you could branch out to doing more with it than just identifying characters. The strips that use it for blood splatter are very effective. I also prefer the strips where the characters have a bit of environment, like the cactus and spaceship, rather than just floating on a white background. It really helps develop the scenario if the reader can see what's going on rather than reading it all in the speech bubbles.
yeah that used to be a big problem, but if you read the recent issues, namely the halloween one (which is still in progress) ive been doing a lot more with the backgrounds
I agree that you could manage space a little better with your lettering but maybe reconsider going digital with it. It meshes so well as is and so often digital lettering is janky and inorganic alongside someone's art.
Anyways, not bad at all. :^: Hope you'll stick around.
yeah i have a BAD habit of just rushing the hell outta my lettering, so its certainly one of my weakest traits at this point haha, also thanks, i hope i stick around too!
I like the art style a lot, especially in the second one. Using one color on black and white gets me every time. Also, you are a champ at making facial expressions, which is something that I feel like a lot of comics lack(I'm guilty of this as well sometimes...). Keep up the good work, I look forward to seeing more of these.
thanks a lot dude! im glad you like the facial expressions, its something i suffered a lot with in the earlier ones, looking back it seems every character had :l faces, one think i plan on doing is getting a mirror on my desk so i can do some more unique facial expressions from my own face haha
also one more thing, i recent comic i did, this one has a little more background detail im experimenting with/an action panel which im not too skilled in yet
I know very little about comics, but I like the humor. Especially on the second one in the OP
As for your action shot, I think you have the right idea, but I think it might've worked better had you left more space around the drawing. Between the guy getting hit and the speech bubble there really isn't much of the accent lines visible. At first glance the message isn't as strong as I think you want it to be. I could be completely off base here though.
e: Thanks EWA, i overlooked the newspaper entirely.
thanks for the advice crab, i think that was actually my first action shot i ever did, since the comic is mostly talking haha. heres another comic i did before i went on holidays, its not spacebeard related and its my first digital comic also
yeah about the hand thing.... it was like 30 something degrees in australia and i get really god damn stressed out so i cracked the shits hahaha, i probably shouldnt do that. also the gradient was an experiment, i tend to experiment a lot. maybe its a learning experience maybe im just too curious who knows.
Well the gradient in the third panel doesn't look terrible because there's also a background to distract a little bit. The rest of the panels that use them seem like a gradient is used as substitute for the background, and it looks lazy. Keep the comics comin'.
I like both of these comics! Nice lines!! The first one still suffers from the "no background" problem. The second one, for example, seems like the characters are grounded and are actually interacting within an environment, because we can see the area that they inhabit.
Try to maximize your punchlines, for example, in the first one, the 3rd panel shows him crying, and then the 4th panel the punchline is pretty much him crying again. Might have had a little more oomph if he had his hands covering his face in the 3rd panel or something. Then the 4th panel could have had a little more powerful reveal.
I still think that the gradient you used is detracting, and that the comic would be more well suited to just a plain, solid mid-tone shading. Also I think the diagonal line shading for that guys hair is kinda weird if nothing else is going to be shaded that way. Maybe it wouldn't look odd to me if the lines were waving in a way that his hair would actually flow.
I like the second comic very much overall, though I don't really get it, but I still can't help but like it!! Also I really don't think that logo belongs on the page with such a finely inked black and white comic. It just doesn't match the aesthetics. And the website listings are too prominent, If people are impressed with the comic, they will find the website at the bottom even if it's written small.
HEY sorry for bumping this thread, but i thought i'd mention that the comic isnt dead yet, in fact its being completely revamped into something stronger, more fleshy, better drawn and better written. it'll be somethin else hopefully. Anyone who wants to contribute to the project is free to message me, even though theres nothing to go on yet, why not take a risk? heres some character concept art, enjoy.
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3DS: 0447-9966-6178
thanks
3DS: 0447-9966-6178
Anyways, not bad at all. :^: Hope you'll stick around.
(even the newspaper made me giggle)
INSTAGRAM
As for your action shot, I think you have the right idea, but I think it might've worked better had you left more space around the drawing. Between the guy getting hit and the speech bubble there really isn't much of the accent lines visible. At first glance the message isn't as strong as I think you want it to be. I could be completely off base here though.
e: Thanks EWA, i overlooked the newspaper entirely.
thanks for the advice crab, i think that was actually my first action shot i ever did, since the comic is mostly talking haha. heres another comic i did before i went on holidays, its not spacebeard related and its my first digital comic also
Your digital stuff looks nice, though the colors could be more subtle and less saturated!! Still funny though.
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http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/dillonwesleyross/16169648756/1/tumblr_ly3njeeqzl1r0uzi7
http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/dillonwesleyross/16169938648/1/tumblr_ly3o3hiJ7d1r0uzi7
edit: sorry that i cant embed the photos, wouldnt work for some reason
They don't have to be complex, but anything that grounds your characters in a world is highly preferred.
Your comics would be very well suited in War for Arcadia. You should check that out.
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Try to maximize your punchlines, for example, in the first one, the 3rd panel shows him crying, and then the 4th panel the punchline is pretty much him crying again. Might have had a little more oomph if he had his hands covering his face in the 3rd panel or something. Then the 4th panel could have had a little more powerful reveal.
I still think that the gradient you used is detracting, and that the comic would be more well suited to just a plain, solid mid-tone shading. Also I think the diagonal line shading for that guys hair is kinda weird if nothing else is going to be shaded that way. Maybe it wouldn't look odd to me if the lines were waving in a way that his hair would actually flow.
I like the second comic very much overall, though I don't really get it, but I still can't help but like it!! Also I really don't think that logo belongs on the page with such a finely inked black and white comic. It just doesn't match the aesthetics. And the website listings are too prominent, If people are impressed with the comic, they will find the website at the bottom even if it's written small.
CHEERS
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