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Why don't Americans use bidets?

TossrockTossrock too weird to livetoo rare to dieRegistered User regular
edited July 2012 in Social Entropy++
I mean let's face it, we're all walking around with a little poop on our buttholes. Why do we do this. Answer me, SE++

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Tossrock on
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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    Water on my butt would be cold

    JtgVX0H.png
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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    I don't even like when I'm pooping and it's a big one and it splashes back up on my butt

    JtgVX0H.png
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    Bidets are great I have been shown the light by @DHS Odium

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Darmak wrote: »
    I don't even like when I'm pooping and it's a big one and it splashes back up on my butt

    yerppp

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I don't want wet balls.

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    Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    because they're not around except in the hoitiest of toity establishments

    as far as I know


    if I run in to a bidet at a gas station I'll

    well


    I'll probably just assume it's something for making meth and fuck the hell off

    Seriously on
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    Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Darmak wrote: »
    I don't even like when I'm pooping and it's a big one and it splashes back up on my butt

    yerppp

    I feel like this is a pretty different experience from using a bidet (wow I never knew it was spelled like that)

    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
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    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Solution: wet wipes

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    I haven't taken the plunge so to speak and bought one but I have flushable wipes for those that want them so they can keep their buttholes tidy.

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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Do you not have/use hot water?

    JtgVX0H.png
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Sweeney Tom has the dirtiest asshole on the forums.

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Butters wrote: »
    Solution: Wet wipes

    ding ding

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    ButtlordButtlord Fornicus Lord of Bondage and PainRegistered User regular
    if i had access to a bidet i would use it ALL THE TIME

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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    I air dry

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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Darmak wrote: »
    I don't even like when I'm pooping and it's a big one and it splashes back up on my butt

    yerppp

    splashback is the first-world's biggest and oldest problem

    if I ever ran for any kind of elected political position, promising to solve this would be the foundation of my entire campaign

    iwantanswers3.png
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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Viscount Islands wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Darmak wrote: »
    I don't even like when I'm pooping and it's a big one and it splashes back up on my butt

    yerppp

    I feel like this is a pretty different experience from using a bidet (wow I never knew it was spelled like that)

    It's almost like I knew that and was making a joke
    Larlar wrote: »
    splashback is the first-world's biggest and oldest problem

    if I ever ran for any kind of elected political position, promising to solve this would be the foundation of my entire campaign

    Larlar for president!

    Darmak on
    JtgVX0H.png
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    ButtlordButtlord Fornicus Lord of Bondage and PainRegistered User regular
    i have some really gnarly poops and it's just a mess and i sometimes end up rinsing in the shower (after wiping obviously)

    bidets would solve this problem

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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    so like

    how do they even work


    is it just for rinsing or do you gotta gargle

    butt gargle

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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    Larlar wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Darmak wrote: »
    I don't even like when I'm pooping and it's a big one and it splashes back up on my butt

    yerppp

    splashback is the first-world's biggest and oldest problem

    if I ever ran for any kind of elected political position, promising to solve this would be the foundation of my entire campaign

    really deep toilets

    sig.png
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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    yeah I imagine most people building houses and apartment buildings look at that initial cost and hear

    "OK here's the plan for the bathroom, but for $10,000 extra you could get your butthole kinda wet."

    Twitter
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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    you poop, and then listen


    ten seconds later, an echoing sploosh

    sig.png
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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    vote Larlar

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    Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Darmak wrote: »
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Do you not have/use hot water?

    I do and I use it all the time.

    But my water is fucked up in the sense that when the shower starts, it takes no less than 3 minutes for the hot water to kick in, so the water's cold for the first 2 minutes and 59 seconds.

    By that point I'm pretty much done with the shower because it doesn't take long for me to get clean.
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Sweeney Tom has the dirtiest asshole on the forums.

    Shut up I have a cute butt >:C

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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    Kal there is no way bidets cost 10 large

    don't try to play that with me

    sig.png
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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    i take offense to such a generalization

    you don't know how much poop is on my butt

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    Darmak wrote: »
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Do you not have/use hot water?

    I do and I use it all the time.

    But my water is fucked up in the sense that when the shower starts, it takes no less than 3 minutes for the hot water to kick in, so the water's cold for the first 2 minutes and 59 seconds.

    By that point I'm pretty much done with the shower because it doesn't take long for me to get clean.
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Sweeney Tom has the dirtiest asshole on the forums.

    Shut up I have a cute butt >:C

    Might be a cute butt but it's an absolutely filthy anus.

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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    i want one of those robot toilets from japan that will do all the work for me

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    KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    the apartment im in right now has one of these


    931.jpg


    it is the fucking worst

    IpKoV.pngtumblr
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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    I'm not clear on how a bidet works

    like

    are they above the actual drain part

    what happens if the poo lands on the bidet

    Eidolon PLaytest! Teenagers With Attitude! Audio Entropy! My Twitter!
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    the fucking shit shelf

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    DHS OdiumDHS Odium Registered User regular
    yo i have a bidet. it was a little $40 attachment. be careful on full power, that thing will blast your asshole right off. i frequently bring butt cleanliness up to every person i know, im the life of any party just ask @smart hero

    Wii U: DHS-Odium // Live: DHS Odium // PSN: DHSOdium // Steam: dhsykes // 3DS: 0318-6615-5294
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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    Darmak wrote: »
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Do you not have/use hot water?

    I do and I use it all the time.

    But my water is fucked up in the sense that when the shower starts, it takes no less than 3 minutes for the hot water to kick in, so the water's cold for the first 2 minutes and 59 seconds.

    By that point I'm pretty much done with the shower because it doesn't take long for me to get clean.
    Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »
    Sweeney Tom wrote: »
    I don't like cold stuff on my bum.

    I don't even like turning my back when taking a shower, just because holy christ cold water clench clench clench

    Sweeney Tom has the dirtiest asshole on the forums.

    Shut up I have a cute butt >:C

    a cute butt which hides a dark secret

    a dark, stinky secret

    sig.png
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote: »
    the apartment im in right now has one of these


    931.jpg


    it is the fucking worst

    oh my god a poopshelf

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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    how ubiquitous are these things

    do all the first world countries use them


    does everybody else use them

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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    I use baby wipes every chance I get

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
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    KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    everytime i get near the toilet room i swear at it
    letting it know how much I fucking hate it

    IpKoV.pngtumblr
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    something about the water makes it seem like you're not in a room with a shit you just took. Those ones make it very clear

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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    what the hell is even the point of that set up

    it looks like it was made by someone who doesn't know what toilets are

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    Chicago JoeChicago Joe jeezy petes! (not actually in Chicago anymore)Registered User regular
    a bidet is only as mean as the guy using it

This discussion has been closed.
Penny Arcade Forums› Social Entropy++