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Star Trek Wedding [chat] (BIG PICTURES IN OP; NSFData)
Jacobkosh
Gamble a stamp.I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
Gamble a stamp.I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
I spent this last weekend attending the wedding of my best friend Shawn to his awesome bride Brandy. For fifteen years, Shawn has told all his girlfriends that he would only marry if the ceremony could be held on the bridge of the Enterprise. He finally found a girl willing to call that bluff (she had in fact tried to talk her previous husband into it, but he preferred a chapel in Vegas, because, you know, that's more serious). The only hard part was finding an actual Enterprise bridge to have the ceremony on, but the Star Trek Experience (formerly in Las Vegas, now relocated to the Mall of America) supplied the answer, although there were no seats for the helmsmen and Spock's console was on the wrong side, if you can believe that bullshit.
I traveled from KC to Minneapolis by road. I can't drive myself anymore because of my eyes, but my dear friend Theresa was not only willing but eager to be my chauffeur and date to the event. The road trip was one of the best I've ever been on; the six hours flew by and the iPod loaded with music and audiobooks turned out to be completely superfluous. I may not know much, guys, but holy shit I can tell you this: if you find someone you can never run out of stuff to talk about with, do your best to keep them around.
Guests were asked to attend in "sci-fi costume" in lieu of gifts (good luck trying to explain the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars/etc to rural Missourians) and this was later amended to "just wear a costume." A couple sad sacks refused, but only a couple out of a few dozen attendees. I was really impressed by both how game everyone was, and how quickly the crowd loosened up. You could see the self-consciousness draining away, and I was treated to sights like a seventy-year-old white woman and a twenty-five year old black dude, both in Next Gen outfits, cackling like hens together. That, to me, is a result.
Shawn asked me to officiate, so here is the sermon I wrote along with the ceremony we cooked up together after watching every wedding in every Star Trek episode or movie that featured one (there were only five, actually) and looking up some Klingon on the Internet.
I'm pleased to say it went beautifully, even though technical difficulties led to my blind ass having to read the text off a smartphone rather than the large (and Trek-appropriate) tablet I had brought.
On the way out of the ceremony and to the reception, which ended right as the Mall of America was actually opening to the public, we got stopped several times by tourists asking for pictures with us. I've never done cosplay or anything like that, so it was an interesting experience. In a crowd of twenty people dressed in uniforms, though, you feel almost normal.
The reception was held in a conference room on a different floor of the mall. Mimosas and coffee were provided, along with food, and the tables were scattered with packets of astronaut ice cream and little Geordi visors for everyone. There was none of the usual reception rigmarole; just an emcee (the inimitable Al Burnes, KC actor and dancer, look him up and hire him pls) and a procession of friends taking turns at the microphone telling stories about the couple. It was simple and touching. My date, who is a very rational person in that quietly skeptical upper-Midwestern Frances McDormand-in-Fargo kind of way and tends to not have a lot of time for the whole idea of weddings and babies and the patriarchy in general, was beaming. Er, in the smile way, not in the matter-transmission way.
Then she and I left the Mlps region to visit Wisconsin and stay in her aunt and uncle's log cabin for a couple of nights and eat cheese curds and drink Wisconsin beer in the middle of an AT&T coverage hole that was, like, a hundred miles across so that is why I have not really posted until today.
I promised pictures when I got back, so here they are.
Bride, groom, and her/their children:
Father and stepmother of the groom:
Our friend Tim was the DJ. As a comics dude, he came as Tim 2099:
Our friend AJ, a filmmaker in California, did the filming duties as Peter Parker:
My date having trouble with Tribbles:
The sign at the hotel. WHOOP, WHOOP.
I traveled from KC to Minneapolis by road. I can't drive myself anymore because of my eyes, but my dear friend Theresa was not only willing but eager to be my chauffeur and date to the event. The road trip was one of the best I've ever been on; the six hours flew by and the iPod loaded with music and audiobooks turned out to be completely superfluous. I may not know much, guys, but holy shit I can tell you this: if you find someone you can never run out of stuff to talk about with, do your best to keep them around.
Guests were asked to attend in "sci-fi costume" in lieu of gifts (good luck trying to explain the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars/etc to rural Missourians) and this was later amended to "just wear a costume." A couple sad sacks refused, but only a couple out of a few dozen attendees. I was really impressed by both how game everyone was, and how quickly the crowd loosened up. You could see the self-consciousness draining away, and I was treated to sights like a seventy-year-old white woman and a twenty-five year old black dude, both in Next Gen outfits, cackling like hens together. That, to me, is a result.
Shawn asked me to officiate, so here is the sermon I wrote along with the ceremony we cooked up together after watching every wedding in every Star Trek episode or movie that featured one (there were only five, actually) and looking up some Klingon on the Internet.
Ladies and gentlemen, non-gendered species, and synthetic lifeforms, as captain of this vessel, I welcome you on behalf of the United Federation of Planets.
Since the days of the first sailing ships, all captains have enjoyed the happy privilege of joining together two people in the bonds of matrimony. And it is such a purpose that brings us together today, as we join you, Brandy, and you, Shawn, together to be wed.
IDIC. Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination. Together with logic, it forms the foundation of Vulcan philosophy: a celebration of our infinitely vast, infinitely varied cosmos. and how we are bettered when that diversity is harnessed. On one unremarkable Class M planet, six billion human beings live and die and work and love, and no two of them are exactly alike.
The universe is unimaginably vast, and yet no other entity in the universe has your exact perspective, your exact experiences, your exact skills. All of us have something to teach All of us have something to learn. If there is a continuing mission in life, it lies in finding out what those are, and finding someone to share them with.
The two people before you have found theirs.
Gift Exchange
(Jake) And now, Shawn and Brandy would like to present gifts they have selected for one another
(Jake) Shawn, please present your gift to Brandy.
(Shawn gives gift to Brandy)
(Jake) Repeat after me: Brandy, I give you this medical tricorder as my gift to you. As our home's medical officer, enjoy it and know how much I love you.
(Shawn repeats)
(Jake) Brandy, please present your gift to Shawn
(Brandy gives gift to Shawn)
(Jake) Repeat after me: Shawn, I give you this bat'leth as my gift to you. As our home's security officer, enjoy it and know how much I love you.
(Brandy repeats)
May we please have the rings?
(Rings are presented)
Vows/Ring Exchange:
(Jake) Shawn, does your heart beat only for this woman?
(Shawn) Yes
(Jake) And will you swear to join with her and stand with her against all who oppose you?
(Shawn) I swear
(Jake) Shawn repeat after me: Imzadi, I give you this ring as a sign of our union.
(Shawn repeats)
(Jake) Brandy, does your heart beat only for this man?
(Brandy) Yes
(Jake) And do you swear to join with him and stand with him against all who would oppose you?
(Brandy) I swear
(Jake) Brandy repeat after me: Imzadi, I give you this ring as a sign of our union.
(Brandy repeats)
(Jake) And now, Shawn and Brandy will complete the Klingon Oath of Union
(Brandy) jIH dok ("My Blood")
(Shawn) maj dok ("Our Blood")
(Shawn and Brandy) Tlinghan jIH ("I am Klingon")
(Jake)Then let all present here today know that this man and this woman are married. You may kiss the bride...make it so!
(Smooch)
(Jake)Ladies and gentleman, I present you Shawn and Brandy Lastname. May this couple live long and prosper. [Vulcan salute]
Since the days of the first sailing ships, all captains have enjoyed the happy privilege of joining together two people in the bonds of matrimony. And it is such a purpose that brings us together today, as we join you, Brandy, and you, Shawn, together to be wed.
IDIC. Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination. Together with logic, it forms the foundation of Vulcan philosophy: a celebration of our infinitely vast, infinitely varied cosmos. and how we are bettered when that diversity is harnessed. On one unremarkable Class M planet, six billion human beings live and die and work and love, and no two of them are exactly alike.
The universe is unimaginably vast, and yet no other entity in the universe has your exact perspective, your exact experiences, your exact skills. All of us have something to teach All of us have something to learn. If there is a continuing mission in life, it lies in finding out what those are, and finding someone to share them with.
The two people before you have found theirs.
Gift Exchange
(Jake) And now, Shawn and Brandy would like to present gifts they have selected for one another
(Jake) Shawn, please present your gift to Brandy.
(Shawn gives gift to Brandy)
(Jake) Repeat after me: Brandy, I give you this medical tricorder as my gift to you. As our home's medical officer, enjoy it and know how much I love you.
(Shawn repeats)
(Jake) Brandy, please present your gift to Shawn
(Brandy gives gift to Shawn)
(Jake) Repeat after me: Shawn, I give you this bat'leth as my gift to you. As our home's security officer, enjoy it and know how much I love you.
(Brandy repeats)
May we please have the rings?
(Rings are presented)
Vows/Ring Exchange:
(Jake) Shawn, does your heart beat only for this woman?
(Shawn) Yes
(Jake) And will you swear to join with her and stand with her against all who oppose you?
(Shawn) I swear
(Jake) Shawn repeat after me: Imzadi, I give you this ring as a sign of our union.
(Shawn repeats)
(Jake) Brandy, does your heart beat only for this man?
(Brandy) Yes
(Jake) And do you swear to join with him and stand with him against all who would oppose you?
(Brandy) I swear
(Jake) Brandy repeat after me: Imzadi, I give you this ring as a sign of our union.
(Brandy repeats)
(Jake) And now, Shawn and Brandy will complete the Klingon Oath of Union
(Brandy) jIH dok ("My Blood")
(Shawn) maj dok ("Our Blood")
(Shawn and Brandy) Tlinghan jIH ("I am Klingon")
(Jake)Then let all present here today know that this man and this woman are married. You may kiss the bride...make it so!
(Smooch)
(Jake)Ladies and gentleman, I present you Shawn and Brandy Lastname. May this couple live long and prosper. [Vulcan salute]
I'm pleased to say it went beautifully, even though technical difficulties led to my blind ass having to read the text off a smartphone rather than the large (and Trek-appropriate) tablet I had brought.
On the way out of the ceremony and to the reception, which ended right as the Mall of America was actually opening to the public, we got stopped several times by tourists asking for pictures with us. I've never done cosplay or anything like that, so it was an interesting experience. In a crowd of twenty people dressed in uniforms, though, you feel almost normal.
The reception was held in a conference room on a different floor of the mall. Mimosas and coffee were provided, along with food, and the tables were scattered with packets of astronaut ice cream and little Geordi visors for everyone. There was none of the usual reception rigmarole; just an emcee (the inimitable Al Burnes, KC actor and dancer, look him up and hire him pls) and a procession of friends taking turns at the microphone telling stories about the couple. It was simple and touching. My date, who is a very rational person in that quietly skeptical upper-Midwestern Frances McDormand-in-Fargo kind of way and tends to not have a lot of time for the whole idea of weddings and babies and the patriarchy in general, was beaming. Er, in the smile way, not in the matter-transmission way.
Then she and I left the Mlps region to visit Wisconsin and stay in her aunt and uncle's log cabin for a couple of nights and eat cheese curds and drink Wisconsin beer in the middle of an AT&T coverage hole that was, like, a hundred miles across so that is why I have not really posted until today.
I promised pictures when I got back, so here they are.
Bride, groom, and her/their children:
Father and stepmother of the groom:
Our friend Tim was the DJ. As a comics dude, he came as Tim 2099:
Our friend AJ, a filmmaker in California, did the filming duties as Peter Parker:
My date having trouble with Tribbles:
The sign at the hotel. WHOOP, WHOOP.
+79
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
YOU ARE DRUNK WITH POWER JAKE
just like when Hank ruined the Venture Halloween
I am jelly
http://www.fastcodesign.com/3036911/fast-feed/inside-the-design-of-norways-beautiful-new-banknotes
Grounds for annullment imo
fact
He's walking with a cane at the moment. So the Martial Arts training perhaps didn't go as well as planned.
The Vegas one was.
God I hope my work laptop is in today when I go in for a meeting.
Then I can do some actual work.
Yes he is! He played the big bull dude with the shield, if you remember that. And our friend Ryan (the spock ears) was the one in our group with the most level 50s.
F# Maj?
How boring.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
um no
this is the chord that apple computers play when you turn them on
hence, the best
f hashtag
You should see the other ninehundred guys.
Life is harder than it's ever been, friend
Yeah, it's parody.
But it might as well not be.
your fortunes have turned for the better!
I do recall him, he was a nice guy.
it was in vegas, but they actually threw that bridge out. Like, out into the trash! Then they built a new smaller OG bridge in the smaller Mall of America venue.
Some dude picked the Next Gen one up and had a big Kickstarter to restore and raised a fuckton of money and apparently it looks pretty great now, with beeping, flashing consoles and stuff, but due to Kickstarter mission creep he is trying to turn it into some kind of big sci-fi museum and it won't be ready for like another couple of years. Brandy was emailing him a lot to try and see if he would just let people use the bridge for the wedding and he was like NO NO IT HAS TO BE PERFECT so the couple said fuck it.
I mean, its a soothing, "cool stuff is about to happen sound" as the "bong" noise.
But there are better chords musically.
Even "Plain Jane" Em has more soul.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
and ratling and insect races
hnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
backup cameras are about to be standard on every car... federal regulations are requiring them starting in 2018 iirc
nerds, man
was jork
all my favorite chords tend to be minor or diminished
hnnnnnnnnngggggggghhhhhhhhhh
you are like sarah
only the very latest model year is attractive everything else is trash car for garbage people
if I were you I'd go a few years older with higher trim, maybe? you seem to enjoy the little gadgets and upgrades and shit
I just can't deal with everyday stress.
I'll keep coming... I need to, I can't run away...
Ugh... I wanna give up so bad.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
so when I opened the door, the mirrors moved to my preference and the driver seat went back, and when sarah opened the door the seat moved up and the mirrors adjusted
I really miss that : (
I grew a tomato in my sink once.
Then I decided I needed to do the dishes more often.
somehow i am not surprised
@Gooey petite and slate gray (like I like my women)