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[PA Comic] Monday, December 8, 2014 - Part-Time

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited December 2014 in The Penny Arcade Hub
Unknown User on
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Posts

  • dmautzdmautz Registered User regular
    I see a sharknado coming to my next game.

  • FandeathisFandeathis Registered User regular
    These are some of my favorite conversations to have when a new edition comes along.

    You fuck wit' Die Antwoord, you fuck wit' da army.
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    edited December 2014
    "How many fish would you expect to command with that?"
    "Well I... I should hope all fish."
    "Here's a description of how often you can command an amount of fish I am not specifying."

    Enlong on
    ceresAndy JoeRingo
  • GabrielGabriel Registered User, ClubPA, Penny Arcade Staff, PAX Staff staff
    wow great point. I forgot to mention that each charge is only good for one fish! Sometimes stuff gets lost in the writing process.

    zerzhulPsykomaTurambarRingoJusticeforPlutoAegeriDark Raven XKageraNightslyrZilla360MichaelLCComradebotGoose!Stranger DangerKamar
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Enlong wrote: »
    "How many fish would you expect to command with that?"
    "Well I... I should hope all fish."
    "Here's a description of how often you can command an amount of fish I am not specifying."

    "Here is the answer to a different question from the one we are talking about."

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Is it specifically fish, or does other marine life count?

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Gabriel wrote: »
    wow great point. I forgot to mention that each charge is only good for one fish! Sometimes stuff gets lost in the writing process.

    Wow, really? Just one fish? Yeah, that is hilariously limited.

    Andy JoeTurambarQuidAegeriRisenPhoenixNightslyrdarleysamEndaroLorahaloGoose!
  • Viktor WaltersViktor Walters Registered User regular
    edited December 2014
    Well, it is a trident. Three uses per day seems appropriate. What you're asking for is an Omnident of Fish Command.

    Viktor Walters on
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Well, it is a trident. Three uses per day seems appropriate. What you're asking for is an Omnident of Fish Command.

    The other mistake was assuming that "fish" was plural in this case.

  • exup35exup35 Registered User regular
    which fish by the way?? I seem to remember hearing that there was "no such thing as a fish"

  • FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    So its power depends entirely on the actual dangerousness of fish in general. If your world is populated by Fiendish-acidbreathing sharks or Krakens or something...

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Now is the time to take a real close look at the definition of fish.

    Being able to control a goldfish might have humorous application. Being able to control a shark might have some combat application.

    But being able to control the Leviathan of the Deeps... that has world changing application.

  • TurambarTurambar Independent Registered User regular
    krakens are obviously molluscs, and not pisces

    Steam: turamb | Origin: Turamb | 3DS: 3411-1109-4537 | NNID: Turambar | Warframe(PC): Turamb
  • Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    edited December 2014
    To be fair, in 4E the Trident of Fish Command would probably either have only one use every 24 hours or one use after every 5 minute rest.

    I miss 4E. That is, well-designed 4E.

    Hexmage-PA on
  • theResetButtontheResetButton Registered User regular
    Hexmage-PA wrote: »
    I miss 4E. That is, well-designed 4E.

    Me too. I played a Warden whose whole schtick was pushing/pulling/moving enemies around the battlefield. Memories are a little fuzzy at this point, but I think my At-Will attack was able to push creatures several sizes larger than me 6+ squares. My encounter powers were pushing them closer to 15 squares.

    Keep honking: I'm also honking.
  • AegeriAegeri Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    I mentioned this in the cf DnD thread, but as my campaign is based on piracy and most of it is underwater, this item is actually exceptionally good for it. I am literally the edge case that makes this item useful lol.

    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Friend of mine pointed out that this is entirely dependent on who's got the trident.

    When it's a pissed-off merman trying to sink your party's ship, you'll be glad he can only RELEASE THE KRAKEN three times a day.

    steam_sig.png
    Steam, Warframe: Megajoule
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Of course, a pissed-off kraken coming off of mind control isn't likely to discriminate with its rampage.

  • AegeriAegeri Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    I actually don't think the spell it casts, Dominate Animals, can even affect a Kraken at all.

    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • LLCLLC Registered User new member
    Summon Bigger Fish.

    Albino BunnyPLACommander Zoom
  • MarcinMNMarcinMN Registered User regular
    I have the power to command sea creatures.

    *yells off-screen*

    "Hey Zoidberg! Get in here!"

    "It's just as I've always said. We are being digested by an amoral universe."

    -Tycho Brahe
  • SomeWarlockSomeWarlock Registered User regular
    Aegeri wrote: »
    I actually don't think the spell it casts, Dominate Animals, can even affect a Kraken at all.

    I don't have the 5e books, but at least in 3e and 4e I'm pretty sure that's the case. Animal is specific catagory/class of monsters, and are defined as not intelligent. Notably, the Kraken is intelligent(3e for sure[21 Int, smarter than a person] and in 4e IIRC) which excludes it from being a true animal.

    Best you get is a large squid or shark, which are fairly low level, and I'm going to guess by the time you'd get the trident in game, they're probably not impressive.

  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    MarcinMN wrote: »
    I have the power to command sea creatures.

    *yells off-screen*

    "Hey Zoidberg! Get in here!"

    "Screw you!"

    MarcinMN
  • Anon von ZilchAnon von Zilch Registered User regular
    While the kraken is not a beast and thus not commandable by the trident, there are still some great options. The killer whale, while not technically a fish, is one. Giant shark is another favorite. And last, but not least, the dread giant seahorse.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    The thread in Critical Failures mentioned that it works on any beast with an innate Swim speed.

    That opens up the possibilities to Cephalopoda, Cetacea and pinnipeds.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • PLAPLA The process.Registered User regular
    It's a pretty good fishing-rod.

    Green
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    That's a good point. A fisherman could make a really good living if they could just command three huge fish a day to jump on their boat.

  • darleysamdarleysam UKRegistered User regular
    Friend of mine pointed out that this is entirely dependent on who's got the trident.

    When it's a pissed-off merman trying to sink your party's ship, you'll be glad he can only RELEASE THE KRAKEN three times a day.

    His doctor may be concerned, however.

    forumsig.png
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    That's a good point. A fisherman could make a really good living if they could just command three huge fish a day to jump on their boat.

    I don't know, the last guy who controlled fish they stoned to death.

  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Tube wrote: »
    That's a good point. A fisherman could make a really good living if they could just command three huge fish a day to jump on their boat.

    I don't know, the last guy who controlled fish they stoned to death.

    to be fair, that happens to Aquaman like every other day.

    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
    MichaelLC
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Tube wrote: »
    That's a good point. A fisherman could make a really good living if they could just command three huge fish a day to jump on their boat.

    I don't know, the last guy who controlled fish they stoned to death.

    to be fair, that happens to Aquaman like every other day.

    Superman can be a real dick.

  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Tube wrote: »
    That's a good point. A fisherman could make a really good living if they could just command three huge fish a day to jump on their boat.

    I don't know, the last guy who controlled fish they stoned to death.
    <insert pot joke>

    steam_sig.png
  • tofeitofei Registered User regular
    Was that Thomas Kemper? I haven't seen him for a long time.

  • trident042trident042 Registered User regular
    I feel like this strip is calling me out, perhaps.

    This signature now left intentionally blank.
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