I fucking hate dumping messages on people in the hopes of getting a response
It reminds me of fuckin job hunting, which is one of the most soul crushing activities I know of
Except somehow even worse because you're asking them to appraise who you are as a human being
"Hi my name is speed racer here's a funny joke can you please read these few paragraphs I wrote about myself and decide if you might conceivably be capable of loving me okay bye"
It's like every fucking part of the process is designed to agitate your anxieties
I fuckkng hate dumping messages on people in the hopes if getting a response
It reminds me if fuckin job hunting, which is one of the most soul crushing activities I know of
Except somehow even worse because you're asking them to appraise who you are as a human being
"Hi my name is speed racer here's a funny joke can you please read these few paragraphs I wrote about myself and decide if you might conceivably be capable of loving me okay bye"
It's like every fucking part of the process is designed to agitate your anxieties
Anyway sorry I'm done dumping
This is why I can't do tinder, It's the same deal with less information, and garuanteed proximity.
[...] achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds.
Man, the job-hunting thing is a great analogy. Like, the number one thing I get anxious about in social situations is striking up conversations with people I don't know. The one time I volunteered to assist in a fundraising cold-call I nearly had a panic attack. Hell, I lurked here for a long time before I started posting because I was freaked out about just saying "hey" to a bunch of strangers. I've had an OK Cupid account for a while and have yet to actually message anyone because I am scared to death of it.
Small-talk really is a skill, some people are great at it. I think I'm okay at it? Working in retail helped a lot for me to be okay at talking to strangers. But yeah, its tricky!
[...] achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds.
The weird thing is, I'm fine if it's in a professional setting. Cashier at the store asks me how things are going? I can comfortably chat about whatever while they're ringing me up. I've had long casual conversations with people I just met at work while waiting for something to load or run. But as soon as I'm outside of that comfort zone, I'm an absolute mess.
I've pretty well gotten over the anxiety of messaging people
Now it's just frustration as I see my list of sent messages grow and grow and grow while my list of received messages doesn't nude an inch
Which is what I meant when I said it feels like job hunting
Where you just keep posting your resumes places and hear fuckin nothing back and it starts to feel like you may as well just be shoveling them into a furnace
That much passive rejection starts to get to you at some point
I've pretty well gotten over the anxiety of messaging people
Now it's just frustration as I see my list of sent messages grow and grow and grow while my list of received messages doesn't nude an inch
Which is what I meant when I said it feels like job hunting
Where you just keep posting your resumes places and hear fuckin nothing back and it starts to feel like you may as well just be shoveling them into a furnace
That much passive rejection starts to get to you at some point
I hope it's not rude to point out that Freudian slip, because I am giggling about it. Also don't worry about the rejection. I imagine most of the girls you're messaging get a lot of messages and might have trouble separating the worthwhile ones from the junk. I'm sure it's less an indictment of you as worth messaging and more an indictment of men as a gender because too many of us out there are being awful.
I fuckkng hate dumping messages on people in the hopes if getting a response
It reminds me if fuckin job hunting, which is one of the most soul crushing activities I know of
Except somehow even worse because you're asking them to appraise who you are as a human being
"Hi my name is speed racer here's a funny joke can you please read these few paragraphs I wrote about myself and decide if you might conceivably be capable of loving me okay bye"
It's like every fucking part of the process is designed to agitate your anxieties
Anyway sorry I'm done dumping
This is why I can't do tinder, It's the same deal with less information, and garuanteed proximity.
See for me tinder made that a bit easier, because
A- there's much less room for information so instead of agonizing over an essay about yourself you have no choice but to stick to a quick description and maybe a couple jokes
B- literally every person you can message has looked at your profile and your pictures and thought "yes this is a person I'd be interested in at least chatting with"
But that's true, sorry, Platypus. Can you teach us your secrets?
Uh, I guess my advice would be not to write generic messages! And not to comment on the profile picture unless you comment on something which is not immediately obvious.
I've mostly tried to establish some sort of common ground by commenting on things they mentioned in their profile and sharing my experiences with them. But I don't know how much my advice is really worth since none of these conversations went on for very long (I should mention that I also didn't have the feeling that anyone I with whom I had a conversation was a particularly good match).
When I had a profile, instead of following the proper format I filled up all those silly forms with charming laugh riot stories about how I am social inept!
I bet there's a whole host of people to whom the faceless nature of internet forums such as these is a huge turn-off
I see your face right there. You're a sad dark haired person laying on their hands maybe? Chico is a blue animal thing. I'm flapjack. And Jay Kaos is godzilla. It's way more exciting than real life.
and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
but they're listening to every word I say
Small-talk really is a skill, some people are great at it. I think I'm okay at it? Working in retail helped a lot for me to be okay at talking to strangers. But yeah, its tricky!
After so many years in ye old service industry, small talk is like breathing, it's pretty much a reflexive action. Opening up, however, is another matter.
So I un-deleted my okcupid and filled it out in spite of myself.
If I wait until I feel like I'm ready to write positive things about myself or whatever I'm never even going to try so I figured I might as well try. Better to try 3 bajillion times and fail worse each time than to sit here and stew over it I guess.
Posts
I fucking hate dumping messages on people in the hopes of getting a response
It reminds me of fuckin job hunting, which is one of the most soul crushing activities I know of
Except somehow even worse because you're asking them to appraise who you are as a human being
"Hi my name is speed racer here's a funny joke can you please read these few paragraphs I wrote about myself and decide if you might conceivably be capable of loving me okay bye"
It's like every fucking part of the process is designed to agitate your anxieties
Anyway sorry I'm done dumping
http://www.audioentropy.com/
They write in their profile that they love watching other people play video games and that they're dead serious about it
Sounds like a potentially good match
This is why I can't do tinder, It's the same deal with less information, and garuanteed proximity.
Now it's just frustration as I see my list of sent messages grow and grow and grow while my list of received messages doesn't nude an inch
Which is what I meant when I said it feels like job hunting
Where you just keep posting your resumes places and hear fuckin nothing back and it starts to feel like you may as well just be shoveling them into a furnace
That much passive rejection starts to get to you at some point
http://www.audioentropy.com/
But I also don't send out many
I hope it's not rude to point out that Freudian slip, because I am giggling about it. Also don't worry about the rejection. I imagine most of the girls you're messaging get a lot of messages and might have trouble separating the worthwhile ones from the junk. I'm sure it's less an indictment of you as worth messaging and more an indictment of men as a gender because too many of us out there are being awful.
http://www.audioentropy.com/
Boy this sure helps the ol' anxiety.
He's just as entitled to talk about his experiences as you or me
This ain't the "cheer speed racer up" thread
http://www.audioentropy.com/
And that none of these conversations were particularly successful!
But that's true, sorry, Platypus. Can you teach us your secrets?
See for me tinder made that a bit easier, because
A- there's much less room for information so instead of agonizing over an essay about yourself you have no choice but to stick to a quick description and maybe a couple jokes
B- literally every person you can message has looked at your profile and your pictures and thought "yes this is a person I'd be interested in at least chatting with"
Uh, I guess my advice would be not to write generic messages! And not to comment on the profile picture unless you comment on something which is not immediately obvious.
I've mostly tried to establish some sort of common ground by commenting on things they mentioned in their profile and sharing my experiences with them. But I don't know how much my advice is really worth since none of these conversations went on for very long (I should mention that I also didn't have the feeling that anyone I with whom I had a conversation was a particularly good match).
I've found and heard that there are indeed many people on the platform who are only there to have conversations
Ridiculous! Pft! What kind of weirdos go online to chat with internet strangers they don't know!
but they're listening to every word I say
And then I didn't message anyone!
Some very sweet ladies messaged me, though.
And I did not answer them.
I'm an online dating expert.
I see your face right there. You're a sad dark haired person laying on their hands maybe? Chico is a blue animal thing. I'm flapjack. And Jay Kaos is godzilla. It's way more exciting than real life.
but they're listening to every word I say
After so many years in ye old service industry, small talk is like breathing, it's pretty much a reflexive action. Opening up, however, is another matter.
"good good, I'm real glad to hear that"
that's all there is to it! unless they're not doing well in which case abort abort
He says, complainering.
What about a Complainer That You Really Want to Have Sex With? That seems like a worse option.
Who wants to have a dance-off
Zonugal, you on board?
If I wait until I feel like I'm ready to write positive things about myself or whatever I'm never even going to try so I figured I might as well try. Better to try 3 bajillion times and fail worse each time than to sit here and stew over it I guess.
If anyone wants to look at it for me maybe PM or @ me? I still have to probably do or redo the questions section?
WHO HATH SUMMONED ME?
Pm it to me either the url or name, I'm afraid I don't have one myself so you'll have to make it public if thats okay?