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Messaging little girls on facebook (clickbait thread title whooo)

PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
in Help / Advice Forum
(I think I already have decided on an answer before even making a thread. I'll wait until I see meet this person in person. But I don't know if that'll be days or weeks or never so I wanted to get this off my chest?)

I have a unique last name, such that anyone I know with this name is closely related to me. My dad's side of the family (aka anyone with that name) all live in another state, so no one around me (aside from my brother and parents) has my last name. Saturday, at my Local Game Shop (LGS) I hear that someone was there with the same last name as me playing the same card game I play. They were asking if we were related. I was as surprised as they were.

That night, on our local facebook group for that card game, that person made some posts, and yeah, same last name as me. I haven't lived near my dad's side of the family for around 18+ years, and this person is a young girl. She could easily be a cousin's daughter or something. Which means one of my cousins could be living near me and we never realized it. Also, this is the first time I've ever randomly seen anyone with my last name, so I'm super curious.

I hit the friend request button on this girl's profile. Then immediately reversed it. I started to write a private message, then deleted it. The problem I'm feeling is that this is a young girl. I'm pretty sure adults friend or messaging young girls on facebook is a bad idea. Right? I have no idea. So I can just wait and see if we end up playing at the weekly events at the LGS and I could ask about it at that time. I guess I'll ask my dad about it, but I'm sure he would have mentioned it if one of his relatives moved nearby.

Am I going about this the right way? Am I being too self-conscious about contacting the girl on facebook? Am I doing anything really stupid about this right now that I don't realize (including making this thread about it)?

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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    Yeah don't send young girls messages on Facebook dude. That can't end well.

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    NeurotikaNeurotika Registered User regular
    Next time you are both at the game store at the same time, hang around to meet with her parents, see if you are in fact related.

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    PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    Thanks.

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    SilverWindSilverWind Registered User regular
    I would definitely ask her for her parents' contact info. Since you have the opportunity to do so in person, I'd recommend that route. :)

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    y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    Just fyi she will still get an email notification you friended her, if she has that set up.

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    MadpoetMadpoet Registered User regular
    Only because you've already accidentally made contact, I'd save face and send a note on Facebook saying "Hi, I noticed we share a rare last name, and I'm wondering if you're related to (some cousin's name). If so, could you give your dad my contact info?"
    I know it's not the same since I am rarely mistaken for a young girl, but my last name is also extremely rare (we can all trace back to a misspelling on Ellis Island) and I've had a similar message from someone trying to find my dad. Regardless if it's creepy to contact the girl, I think it's worse to make accidental contact and then say nothing.

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    RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    I've got one of those broad names on my mother's side that could or could not be relatives. It would be best in this matter to step back, keep distance when your paths cross, try to establish contact with her parents to find out the family relationship, or work back through your family to find the relation.

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    azith28azith28 Registered User regular
    I would really like to think a 6 (guess) year old girls facebook is being monitored by the parents. Try posting something on her wall just asking if her mom and dad are related to (some grandparent family member), and see if you get a response.

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    PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    Madpoet wrote: »
    Only because you've already accidentally made contact, I'd save face and send a note on Facebook saying "Hi, I noticed we share a rare last name, and I'm wondering if you're related to (some cousin's name). If so, could you give your dad my contact info?"
    I know it's not the same since I am rarely mistaken for a young girl, but my last name is also extremely rare (we can all trace back to a misspelling on Ellis Island) and I've had a similar message from someone trying to find my dad. Regardless if it's creepy to contact the girl, I think it's worse to make accidental contact and then say nothing.
    Accidental contact as in the add friend notification? I think messaging because of that would just make it worse.

    Also, for those curious, I asked my dad about it. He said he's seen people with our last name here since we arrived here. Before 2000. None related. So I'll ask her about it if I see her, but we're probably unrelated. Making the thread helped, either way. I wouldn't have thought of something as simple as asking my dad about it otherwise. Sorry for taking your time, and thanks.

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