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The Ancient [Chat] Awakens

BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
2JYBdVN.jpg

Lovecraftian stuff is pretty rad and probably to blame for how weird the universe has gotten since 2016
Q: Will CERN awaken the Elder Gods?

Physicist: At the risk of over-simplifying the situation; yes, absolutely.

For years dark and unexplainable events have been the norm in particle accelerator laboratories around the world. However, it was not until a meta-analysis of the 2001 “blood running up the walls incident” in Fermilab, the 1983 “unfortunate undead incident” in Daresbury, the 2011 “faster-than-light neutrino incident” at CERN, and the “howling vortex of pain effect” common to employees of KEK, that a subtle underlying pattern was uncovered.

In addition, some concerns were voiced when it became apparent that the user’s manual for the Large Hadron Collider had been written, entirely by accident, as a nearly verbatim translation of the Necronomicon.

But ultimately, the call for a comprehensive study by the NSF was sparked by an experiment by Dr. Damian “The Unblinking” Shoggoth (PhD., occult particle cosmology, music history), involving the ALTAS detector at CERN, and the still-beating hearts of three virgin employees. While Dr. Shoggoth’s experiment successfully demonstrated an effective means of tauon generation, it also created a dark fissure between the Mortal World and the Dreaming.

According to Rolf-Dieter Heuer, the director general of CERN, “… strange experimental artifacts are just a part of doing [science]. When you hear screaming every time the beam is active you tend … to assume that it’s the result of some unknown mechanism; metal fatigue, poorly tuned resonators. One-time events, like the combined terror of every human sacrifice … bleeding through from a dimension of pure agony is difficult to take into account, given our current scientific model.”.

For thousands of years particle accelerators have been used by isolated groups of occultists to commune with their Dark Lords. The Toltec ziggurat reactor, the Stone Henge synchrotron, the Nuclear Pile at Miskatonic, and the Nazca linear accelerators are just a few examples. But of course, with ever greater technology comes ever more violent violations of the natural order. It wasn’t until accelerators capable of giga-electronvolt power came into common use, for example, that secret physicist covens discovered reliable methods for creating weakly-interacting neutrino–golems, to slay their enemies.

The findings of the NSF study show that when CERN is finally brought to full power it will almost certainly summon the Outsider, and begin the Age of Torment.

Said Heuer, “We’re living at the dawning of a new age of discovery, understanding, and unending darkness. With any luck, by 2013 we’ll have confirmed or discomfirmed the existence of the Higgs boson and been devoured by our dread master, Lord Cthulhu.”

But, I suppose time (what’s let of it) will tell. The joy of science is in the surprise and the eldritch horror.

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Posts

  • BamaBama Registered User regular
    Honk wrote:
    Wait has anyone seen Obama and Bama in the same room?
    Yes, actually.

  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    hm I checked in on the progress on my one project so I could write a report to our sponsors, and the junior scientist is doing such fun-looking algorithm-development stuff.

    I am jealous! But it is her thing to do, not mine :(

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    fuzzy could you rephrase that last thing

  • NecoNeco Worthless Garbage Registered User regular
    Hmm

    Good response time, horror themed op, nice work, Burnage!

    *stamps seal of approval*

  • MadCaddyMadCaddy Registered User regular
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

  • IlpalaIlpala Just this guy, y'know TexasRegistered User regular
    "Fuck Zaza Pachulia" - Gregg Popovich (figuratively) 5/15/2017

    FF XIV - Qih'to Furishu (on Siren), Battle.Net - Ilpala#1975
    Switch - SW-7373-3669-3011
    Fuck Joe Manchin
  • tyrannustyrannus i am not fat Registered User regular
    Lovecraft and Robert Howard were bros and the Conan universe is apparently the same universe as Chthulu or whatever his name is

  • NecoNeco Worthless Garbage Registered User regular
    edited May 2017
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    uguu~~!
    Neco wrote:
    Dear chat,

    rekt

    Your pal,
    Neco <3

    Neco on
  • MadCaddyMadCaddy Registered User regular
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Lovecraft and Robert Howard were bros and the Conan universe is apparently the same universe as Chthulu or whatever his name is

    Robert Howard and Lovecraft being friends makes sense on such a fundamental level.

  • ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    never post on page 100

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
  • jungleroomxjungleroomx It's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovels Registered User regular
    edited May 2017
    *gasp* WINDOWS UPDATES...

    *collapses*

    *feebly raises hand...*

    they can be... scheduled...

    jungleroomx on
  • BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    never post on page 100

    Or any page after 100, for that is the way in which madness lies.

  • QanamilQanamil x Registered User regular
    So prompt.

  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    Years of anime have left you soft and weak and any fight you would get into with that person would end in a beatdown for you.

  • DelmainDelmain Registered User regular
    I AM AWOKEN

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    never post on page 100

    Or copy and paste and be prepared.

  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    If the Charles Stross laundry books are ot be beleived the real gateway to the abyss of the Elder gods is Powerpoint presentations

  • QanamilQanamil x Registered User regular
    Burnage wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    never post on page 100

    Or any page after 100, for that is the way in which madness lies.

    and anime

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    I would be perfectly happy if I could set a flag in Windows 10 that says "Wait X hours before patching and rebooting" because then I'd stop losing downloads.

  • DelmainDelmain Registered User regular
    Burnage wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    never post on page 100

    Or any page after 100, for that is the way in which madness lies.

    I'm all in on madness personally.

  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    I think I shall play pinball and eat at Taco TIme this afternoon/tonight.

  • wanderingwandering Russia state-affiliated media Registered User regular
    It is important to remember never to use Windows

    There are times when you will be tempted

    A cool new indie point and click adventure game will be released for Windows only and you will be tempted to sully your MacBook with a boot camp partition

    But stay strong and know that Jobs willing, that cool indie game will be ported over in a couple of months

  • jungleroomxjungleroomx It's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovels Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    Nice turn around time


    Whoever alerted the mods to recycle last thread are literally worse than the Nazi's that worked auschwitz for the indignity I just suffered having to lose my post.

    never post on page 100

    Between this and "nothing good happens after midnight", I feel like I have solid life advice all around.

  • Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User, Moderator mod
    Organichu wrote: »
    i guess i hate the whole idea of how we fashion this bright, pulsating line of demarcation. i see it all the time with stuff like 'don't say he has a narcissistic disorder, he's JUST an asshole'. it strikes me as enormously gross. i'm not saying don't have sympathy for the mentally ill but saying 'this fits enough of the developmental markers in the DSM to make this person truly disordered, whereas this person only hits four of the markers so they're just a dickhead' kind of makes my skin crawl.
    Everyone is a fucking armchair psychiatrist. That's the part that I hate. It takes YEARS to be a psychiatrist, let alone a good one. The internet doesn't make anyone an expert.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    A Tennessee sex club is being accused of masquerading as a church, and it’s owners may need to drop to their knees — to pray — because city officials want to shut the place down.

    The Social Club – which has a permit to operate as a church – were exposed by two undercover city inspectors who infiltrated the swingers club on March 25 and “observed patrons openly engaging in sexual conduct and intercourse,” according to the complaint filed on May 11 by Nashville officials.

    Sounds like a way better time than Sunday Mass as a Catholic.

  • Blameless ClericBlameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered User regular
    I had a meeting with a professor today but he postponed because he was feeling too stressed and tired

    poor dude

    Orphane wrote: »

    one flower ring to rule them all and in the sunlightness bind them

    I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    wandering wrote: »
    It is important to remember never to use Windows

    There are times when you will be tempted

    A cool new indie point and click adventure game will be released for Windows only and you will be tempted to sully your MacBook with a boot camp partition

    But stay strong and know that Jobs willing, that cool indie game will be ported over in a couple of months

    I thought even Blizzard had given up on porting games over to OSX?

  • Desktop HippieDesktop Hippie Registered User regular
    Delmain wrote: »
    I AM AWOKEN

    COMMAND ME, LORD!

  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    wandering wrote: »
    It is important to remember never to use Windows

    There are times when you will be tempted

    A cool new indie point and click adventure game will be released for Windows only and you will be tempted to sully your MacBook with a boot camp partition

    But stay strong and know that Jobs willing, that cool indie game will be ported over in a couple of months

    I thought even Blizzard had given up on porting games over to OSX?

    Overwatch at least yeah

  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    I had a meeting with a professor today but he postponed because he was feeling too stressed and tired

    poor dude

    It is very interesting that a professor would willing to be vulnerable enough with a student to tell them that.

    I guess it's humanizing and probably ok?

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • bowenbowen Sup? Registered User regular
    @jungleroomx even in the paid version of windows 10 that GPO is hit or miss if it works

    mine worked until the weird ass anniversary edition or whatever got pushed out, now it doesn't do shit

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • jungleroomxjungleroomx It's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovels Registered User regular
    edited May 2017
    Delmain wrote: »
    I AM AWOKEN

    COMMAND ME, LORD!

    Vy am I dripings wiv goo

    jungleroomx on
  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    A Tennessee sex club is being accused of masquerading as a church, and it’s owners may need to drop to their knees — to pray — because city officials want to shut the place down.

    The Social Club – which has a permit to operate as a church – were exposed by two undercover city inspectors who infiltrated the swingers club on March 25 and “observed patrons openly engaging in sexual conduct and intercourse,” according to the complaint filed on May 11 by Nashville officials.

    Sounds like a way better time than Sunday Mass as a Catholic.

    They were being geese about this.

    There's actually no laws against sex clubs in Nashville, they just have to be in industrial areas and 100 feet or more away from certain buildings. (schools, churches, etc)

    So TSC decides to set up NEXT TO A CHURCH SCHOOL, then pretends to be a church, and literally goes out on the blueprints and like marks out dildo room and sex chamber and writes in "chorus room" and "confessional booths" and shit, with the other terms still visible.

    are YOU on the beer list?
  • Solomaxwell6Solomaxwell6 Registered User regular
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    MadCaddy wrote: »
    I think it retards conversation to stupidly discriminate what words can be used.

    Some rules are good, and a few even bolster innovation and better understanding, but being overly prescriptive stifles and harms as much as being laissez faire.

    These forums have a rule that there is a certain racist word no one is ever allowed to use no matter what. My ability to communicate is no worse for it--if we're talking about race, I can mention "black people" or "African Americans" (when appropriate) or if I'm going more broad I can talk about "people of color" or "racial minorities." And none of those terms have the sheer historical baggage of the verboten one.

    As far as I know we don't have such a strict rule on any other word, but the same thing applies. There are plenty of words available that aren't insulting to broad groups of people. No matter where you go, it's pretty easy to follow the "don't be an asshole" rule. If other people seem to be insulted by a particular term, avoid using it in front of them even if you're not particularly sure why.

    Well yea. That has to go with respect more than anything. I just feel that if you're going to have an in depth conversation about that word and the ethics therein it's unideal for it to be verboten. I also think it's a dumb false equivalency to equate the two for a plethora of reason.

    I'm not arguing to repeal the ban here or the one in the other forum as I'm all about states rights and private property. I even said rules can foster innovation and understanding. What I am saying is that they need sound reasoning and logic to be good effective rules, especially if they hope to bolster understanding and communication and not hinder.

    Now to really shock you all, I'm also against yelling fire in a crowded theatre.

    People treat words differently. You might think that a word isn't really offensive, or maybe you think it's a little offensive but not even close to having the historical context of the other word--but someone else might not see things that way. Particularly so if they have to actually live with the consequences of bigotry against people with a disability and it's abstract to you.

    As far as meta-discussions about offensive words, you can still refer to them through euphemisms. Neither of us have actually used the forbidden word in this discussion, but we both know exactly what I'm referring to. In one sense it's perhaps ever so slightly less than ideal, but it's only a very small shift and suddenly there's no longer a risk of insulting people. Plus on discussion sites like this you run into the potential for new posters--do you really want some new user to check out the site, click a [chat] thread and see an offensive word used a dozen times in the first couple of posts they see? Even if the context seems innocent, that might not make a difference, or they might miss out on some of the context. Or what happens if someone crosses a line, not realizing they're doing so because things shifted bit by bit from the original (innocent) discussion? Having hard and fast rules about terminology can help create the sort of environment you prefer and has plenty of benefits.

    Yea, and it's that meta aspect that I was speaking about. I wouldn't choose to use the word just for shock value, personally, and I understand the logic behind banning the use of certain words in certain spaces; these bans fundamentally change the level of discourse and degree of intensity the conversations can feasibly reach. As well as have a disingenuous effect to the fundamental honesty. I take little solace from someone who thinks of me in terms of the worst pejorative they can imagine curbing it by choosing the pc way to express those feelings . I, personally, prefer the more overt aggression then curbed and pc micro-aggressions.

    The point of banning terminology like that isn't to spare your feelings. It's about the feelings of the group targeted by a given banned word (which you may or may not be part of, but only one single member of the group).

    Incidentally, since you brought up microaggressions, you have things a bit backwards. If someone insults or attacks you directly, it's not a microaggression even if they use couched language. It's just aggression. Using terminology that dehumanizes a group or is associated with bigotry could be considered a microaggression, especially if you're using it more casually and don't mean it to historical extents.

  • GooeyGooey (\/)┌¶─¶┐(\/) pinch pinchRegistered User regular
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    A Tennessee sex club is being accused of masquerading as a church, and it’s owners may need to drop to their knees — to pray — because city officials want to shut the place down.

    The Social Club – which has a permit to operate as a church – were exposed by two undercover city inspectors who infiltrated the swingers club on March 25 and “observed patrons openly engaging in sexual conduct and intercourse,” according to the complaint filed on May 11 by Nashville officials.

    Sounds like a way better time than Sunday Mass as a Catholic.

    you have to wonder what the city inspectors did when "infiltrating" the place

    919UOwT.png
  • BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    A Tennessee sex club is being accused of masquerading as a church, and it’s owners may need to drop to their knees — to pray — because city officials want to shut the place down.

    The Social Club – which has a permit to operate as a church – were exposed by two undercover city inspectors who infiltrated the swingers club on March 25 and “observed patrons openly engaging in sexual conduct and intercourse,” according to the complaint filed on May 11 by Nashville officials.

    Sounds like a way better time than Sunday Mass as a Catholic.

    It's like the author has never even heard of a sex cult

  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    "Why would you get Home" well it was free and I don't wanna pay 100 bucks for an upgrade.

    I guess if I was desperate enough because the Windows Update stuff was really fucking with me I'd do it, but paying $100 for a single feature that's buried in the guts of the OS when it should just be part of the basic update process is not at all reasonable.

    vRyue2p.png
  • jungleroomxjungleroomx It's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovels Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    jungleroomx even in the paid version of windows 10 that GPO is hit or miss if it works

    mine worked until the weird ass anniversary edition or whatever got pushed out, now it doesn't do shit

    Weird, mines been pretty functional here at work.

    *shrugs*

    Still better than 8.1

  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    Re: personal responsibility

    The line we draw between what people are responsible for and what they are not responsible for seems, much of the time, to be very arbitrary.

    All human decisions are caused. It is not trivial or useless or impractical to follow those causal chains as far as we can. Personal responsibility is a reasonable and valuable principle but it does not mean removing someone from the circumstances that created them. Nor does it absence mean absolution. If someone does not take responsibility when they should, there is a reason they did not do so, and maybe they need intervention to gain that capacity.

This discussion has been closed.