Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited June 2018
There's also that old thing of "am I actually attracted to this person or is this a Bad Brain Moment where I'm having completely unwanted thoughts about a close friend or someone else I'm not romantically interested in at all nor would I ever be because yuck"
Sexuality is weird. Brains are weird. Let's all be featureless sentient mechanical cubes.
Edit) featureless aside from shape I suppose. And the fact that they are mechanical. But other than that!
I guess I just find it weird to imagine feeling like that about people you don't even know. Must make it hard to concentrate.
oh, it gets very silly, and @Garlic Bread I'm so with you that it can lead to some really ill-advised stuff.
it used to really confuse me how being allo worked re: my life, because I don't have any major attraction to 97% of the people out in the world, but with 3% of the people I run into, their presence sort of hits me like a truck.
then I thought back to my first time being attracted to someone, which was being in middle school jazz band when I spent a solid year getting these incapacitating crushes on each of the leaders of the high school jazz band. I absolutely didn't know them beyond maybe a word in passing, but they felt trustworthy and inordinately good.
it's like I see someone I'm both generally attracted to and who carries themselves in a way that I like, and I make the leap to, "oh yeah that combo of things means they're Actually Alright and I'm Allowed to be Very Into Them because they'd Definitely Treat Me Right."
I don't hate the impulse; it's sort of nice to have a special layer of compulsion to talk to certain people that I normally might not meet, but it's definitely taken me a while to not confuse it for anything more than a first impression.
I'm much more excited thinking about people than actually engaging in any activity because god DAMN I have been getting the worst sex anxiety attacks lately and I hate it.
I want my sex drive back, damn
Do most people actually feel sexually attracted to tons of people all the time every day?
I don't think so? Mostly people go about their daily lives.
But maybe the difference is like, when I go to the climbing gym and I'm not actively climbing I am spending 90% of my remaining time creeping (uh hopefully subtly and in a way that doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, just nonstop ogling and making comments of a sexual nature to my friend if she's with me) whereas an ace person probably would just be thinking about climbing or like appreciating the aesthetics of the people's bodies without the additional thought 'I would do that person'.
?? maybe??
But at work it's not like I would think about that sort of thing basically ever.
Do most people actually feel sexually attracted to tons of people all the time every day?
I think its less about the frequency of it and more that people who are not demi have the capacity at all to be sexually interested in someone without any emotional connection. For someone demi, until that closeness is obtained they wouldn't think about it at all.
Yeah. @Goatmon yes I get what demisexual is, and I don't feel bad about anything, nor do I need a pat on the head. I think you misunderstood me.
Hehe sorry, I only threw that first part in just in case.
Also, I'm still kinda new to this part of my life and it's fun to be able to share my thoughts on it with people whenever the chance to babble about it comes up. :P
If you're demi, do you still have generalized sexual fantasies or none?
Oh I still have fantasies, they just rarely involve specific people.
I've been pretty open about writing porn for the past year. Amara has been a hell of a muse, I tell you what. :tell_me_more:
I'm working on a new one, as we speak. I keep not finishing the scripts I've been working on, and so I came up with a shorter-length story intended to only be a single chapter. We'll see how this one turns out.
I find it hard to say if I actually experience sexual attraction because my brain won’t permit myself to think that way about other real, live people. It’s partly coming from low self-confidence and partly coming from a general sense of ‘what if they could suddenly read my thoughts’ guilt.
It always seemed like a gross or silly thing to me to involve friends or complete strangers in one's sexual fantasies.
It's allowed to seem that way to you for yourself, of course, but it can be a perfectly healthy thing to do as long as it doesn't impact your real life relationship with those people in a way the object of the fantasies finds uncomfortable. I'd be very careful about describing someone else's fantasizing as 'gross', or 'silly' for that matter.
It's Pride weekend in Baltimore! I'm not going to anything because I have literally no money as always and can't afford parking.
The good news is, I get to spend the day trapped in my own house with my ex's super conservative and Catholic parents while he marches in the Pride Parade!
Just kidding that's not good news at all, I hate capitalism
GB that sounds like the fuckin worst. I'm so sorry
Update: @Kwoaru came and picked me up and took me to the Pride block party and then we got beers and chicken quesadillas because he's an amazing person
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
I had a realization (that I don't understand the implications of just yet) walking around the Pride festival
I've been getting into drag / women's fashion and stuff this year, and I haven't even bothered with dating or sex at all (which, as someone who has had sex with more random dudes in a week than there are days, is extremely weird)
But walking around Pride I realized I pay more attention to women a lot? Like "her outfit is so cute" "I want those shoes" "OH MY GOD HER CHEEKBONES"
I mean, if I see a thicc dude I'm definitely gonna check to see if he got ass. But I've been more into...appreciating women? It's not sexual, and it's not specific to any kind of woman. Watching makeover shows and such I've just been like, about every woman "what??? Why is she here she's gorgeous" (I understand they don't think that)
I guess I've just been paying more attention to what's a aesthetically pleasing than what gets my dick hard. Which is good (except for where it's also because I hate myself and don't see myself worthy of any sexual or romantic partners right now, but hey that's still better than my old behavior)
your post is making me feel several things, and i'm not sure how i want to respond, but regardless, I'm glad you're getting enjoyment from admiring people.
brains are indeed weird. i've been spending the past couple hours searching for a post i made (regarding squish --platonic crush-- but i know i hyperlinked it so it doesn't show in forum search) and it's driving me nuts
@Garlic Bread I definitely relate to the thing you said about appreciating someone’s aesthetic more than how attractive you find them. Like, I used to find Gok Wan ridiculously attractive; but now I think that was coming from a place of wishing I could ride that masc/femme line as well as he does, rather than wanting to bone.
Also, today I am remembering that I was supposed to take my eye makeup off before I crashed. Last night’s Dave Navarro inspired look has become more of an Alice Cooper
Nechriah on
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
your post is making me feel several things, and i'm not sure how i want to respond
I'm sorry. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I was just trying to explore my thoughts and feelings through a public venue that I trust, but if I caused anyone distress with my comment or wording I can edit it out. Never my intention but I have too much privilege that I don't know when I'm expressing it
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
Sea of Thieves recently added a rainbow flag you can fly on your ship's mast:
So I've been sailing the seas, proudly announcing my search for some hot plundered boo-tay. 8-)
your post is making me feel several things, and i'm not sure how i want to respond
I'm sorry. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I was just trying to explore my thoughts and feelings through a public venue that I trust, but if I caused anyone distress with my comment or wording I can edit it out. Never my intention but I have too much privilege that I don't know when I'm expressing it
@Garlic Bread, noooo, sorry, not in a bad way. just feels -- literally don't know how to articulate, not that any of it was distressing and overwhelming. sorry for the confusion!
part of my reaction was a feeling of warmth. .. welcoming and familiarity, i guess? ...sometimes i get this overwhelming aura of acceptance/appreciation/admiration of others, and it's a lovely feeling. that. hoping you experienced that.
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Hi, I'm Garlic Bread
It also leads to extremely bad decisions!
I've gotten a lot better at not making them, but it's really just because I have no self worth anymore. Pros and cons
Sexuality is weird. Brains are weird. Let's all be featureless sentient mechanical cubes.
Edit) featureless aside from shape I suppose. And the fact that they are mechanical. But other than that!
oh, it gets very silly, and @Garlic Bread I'm so with you that it can lead to some really ill-advised stuff.
it used to really confuse me how being allo worked re: my life, because I don't have any major attraction to 97% of the people out in the world, but with 3% of the people I run into, their presence sort of hits me like a truck.
then I thought back to my first time being attracted to someone, which was being in middle school jazz band when I spent a solid year getting these incapacitating crushes on each of the leaders of the high school jazz band. I absolutely didn't know them beyond maybe a word in passing, but they felt trustworthy and inordinately good.
it's like I see someone I'm both generally attracted to and who carries themselves in a way that I like, and I make the leap to, "oh yeah that combo of things means they're Actually Alright and I'm Allowed to be Very Into Them because they'd Definitely Treat Me Right."
I don't hate the impulse; it's sort of nice to have a special layer of compulsion to talk to certain people that I normally might not meet, but it's definitely taken me a while to not confuse it for anything more than a first impression.
I want my sex drive back, damn
I don't think so? Mostly people go about their daily lives.
But maybe the difference is like, when I go to the climbing gym and I'm not actively climbing I am spending 90% of my remaining time creeping (uh hopefully subtly and in a way that doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, just nonstop ogling and making comments of a sexual nature to my friend if she's with me) whereas an ace person probably would just be thinking about climbing or like appreciating the aesthetics of the people's bodies without the additional thought 'I would do that person'.
?? maybe??
But at work it's not like I would think about that sort of thing basically ever.
Yeah.
@Goatmon yes I get what demisexual is, and I don't feel bad about anything, nor do I need a pat on the head. I think you misunderstood me.
Also, I'm still kinda new to this part of my life and it's fun to be able to share my thoughts on it with people whenever the chance to babble about it comes up. :P
(I'm saying you're all filthy animals)
Oh I still have fantasies, they just rarely involve specific people.
I've been pretty open about writing porn for the past year. Amara has been a hell of a muse, I tell you what. :tell_me_more:
I'm working on a new one, as we speak. I keep not finishing the scripts I've been working on, and so I came up with a shorter-length story intended to only be a single chapter. We'll see how this one turns out.
It's allowed to seem that way to you for yourself, of course, but it can be a perfectly healthy thing to do as long as it doesn't impact your real life relationship with those people in a way the object of the fantasies finds uncomfortable. I'd be very careful about describing someone else's fantasizing as 'gross', or 'silly' for that matter.
It's just something I find hard to relate to and my post was in the context of how I would personally feel having those fantasies
This mornings question was ‘what fictional character would you want to be real’
And now im STRONGLY reconsidering my answer
Whaaat thats rad
Is ur pupper there
Bring ur pup to me
I thought you just said you don't feel sexual attraction to me
Update: @Kwoaru came and picked me up and took me to the Pride block party and then we got beers and chicken quesadillas because he's an amazing person
I've been getting into drag / women's fashion and stuff this year, and I haven't even bothered with dating or sex at all (which, as someone who has had sex with more random dudes in a week than there are days, is extremely weird)
But walking around Pride I realized I pay more attention to women a lot? Like "her outfit is so cute" "I want those shoes" "OH MY GOD HER CHEEKBONES"
I mean, if I see a thicc dude I'm definitely gonna check to see if he got ass. But I've been more into...appreciating women? It's not sexual, and it's not specific to any kind of woman. Watching makeover shows and such I've just been like, about every woman "what??? Why is she here she's gorgeous" (I understand they don't think that)
I guess I've just been paying more attention to what's a aesthetically pleasing than what gets my dick hard. Which is good (except for where it's also because I hate myself and don't see myself worthy of any sexual or romantic partners right now, but hey that's still better than my old behavior)
Brains are weird. Good Boy for President.
brains are indeed weird. i've been spending the past couple hours searching for a post i made (regarding squish --platonic crush-- but i know i hyperlinked it so it doesn't show in forum search) and it's driving me nuts
Also, today I am remembering that I was supposed to take my eye makeup off before I crashed. Last night’s Dave Navarro inspired look has become more of an Alice Cooper
I'm sorry. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I was just trying to explore my thoughts and feelings through a public venue that I trust, but if I caused anyone distress with my comment or wording I can edit it out. Never my intention but I have too much privilege that I don't know when I'm expressing it
So I've been sailing the seas, proudly announcing my search for some hot plundered boo-tay. 8-)
part of my reaction was a feeling of warmth. .. welcoming and familiarity, i guess? ...sometimes i get this overwhelming aura of acceptance/appreciation/admiration of others, and it's a lovely feeling. that. hoping you experienced that.
Moving back into hillbilly country sometimes feels like a massive mistake, but it was the only choice I had
Am purple once more. My powers have returned.
I'd say the gayest, most criminal location on your body but I don't think I'd actually want needles around there, personally
Also, it won't all fit on the pinky finger.