Dear New Jersey-based Forumers
Are you available on Saturday, January 17th? Do you like big Warhammer 40k games? Are you willing to help Ein retain the shredded remnants of his sanity? Read on.
After a bit of analysis, I have come to the conclusion that I have
way too many unpainted orks. I have 140 unpainted Assault on Black Reach boyz
alone, not to mention the legions of boyz in parts in bins scattered around my apartment. This is a tremendously depressing obstacle, since seeing that much unpainted plastic tends to unhinge most people's sanity, and I am no exception. It's obvious that, left to my own devices, these things (and thus, a bulk of my army) is never getting painted.
This is an attempt to change that.
On January 17th, I will be throwing open my doors in the hopes that some of you might be willing to help by picking up a brush and laying down the law (and acrylic paint) on this horde.
> Why on earth would I help you paint your own stuff, you lazy son of a bitch?
Good question. This event is half humanitarian, half megabattle, and half party.
First, I will be furnishing whoever participates with pizza and drinks (including alcohol later in the evening) in relative abundance. I am warning you all now that most of the non-alcohol-related drinks will probably be diet sodas or things like seltzer, because I am diabetic and I don't want to get stuck with fourty cartons of regular Coke and shit that I can never have.
By the evening of the 17th rolls around, we will have hopefully dealt some significant damage to the unpainted hordes. At that point, the alcohol will get uncorked, and we will head into the lounge of my apartment building. Once there, we're going to commandeer the pool table, cover it up with a board, and throw down a
megabattle of debaucherous proportions. I expect this battle to drag on into the wee hours of Sunday morning, at which point we will all probably be thoroughly hammered, tired, and sick of miniatures entirely.
Bonus: The winner of the megabattle will receive the magnificent prize of being allowed to smack me in the head, execution style, with a wiffle bat. It will, of course, be recorded for posterity.
So essentially:
In exchange for help painting my hordes in a party setting, I will feed and inebriate you, and we will then play apocalypse games. Pictures will be taken. A good time will most likely be had. Someone will probably fall down some stairs.
> This sounds stupid but tell me more
Okay.
WHERE:
1180 Raymond Boulevard, Newark, New Jersey.
WHEN: Saturday, January 17, 2009. Painting starts at noon!
> How do I get there?
You can drive here, but parking in Newark is
dumb. Weekend parking at the neighboring facility, from Saturday into Sunday, will cost $18. That might be too much trouble for most folks.
However, my building also has the undisputed benefit of being a block away from Newark Penn Station. This means that you can easily take the trains in if you want to participate. Truthfully, I'm not sure if that's cheaper than the cost of parking, but you don't have to worry about driving/parking in Newark, and it's probably faster than driving for some folks.
> Tell me about the painting.
Prior to the 17th, I will have all of the orks prepped and primed; mold lines removed, flash cleaned up, sprues clipped, limbs pinned where necessary, and a coat of white spray primer will be applied to every single mini. All of my brushes, vallejo and citadel paints, and tools will be available to you. The Assault on Black Reach orks are all left in individual pieces to make painting easier, meaning arms, heads, and bodies are all separate. I expect all of these will be mounted on tooth picks, with a chunk of styrene handy to stick parts in.
I'm using white primer because it'll be easier to achieve uniform results. Basically, painting an ork boy would be really straightforward: Base coat skin in a bright color (goblin green), base coat the clothes whatever damn color you feel like. Then, use the citadel washes on it. Viola, model done. (The bright base coat is intended to serve as the 'highlight' color; washing over that will produce good results). By painting in this two-step way, it'll make it real easy for everyone to achieve pretty uniform results.
I'll also have bases prepped and primed black, for anyone who's willing to help but knows they're not a very good painter. They'll be set up so you can simply drybrush them desert-y colors, and we'll be all set.
Lastly, for anyone who wants to participate, but is terrified of picking up a paint brush, I'd also be happy to have you help me clip the
hundred thousand sprues I have scattered around my apartment, because I really need to do that, as well.
> Tell me about the game.
The game will begin Saturday evening. I'm guessing around 8:00 is a good time. I cannot tell you all how long the game will go, but I anticipate it to extend into the wee hours of Sunday morning. You should do the same.
We'll be moving into the lounge of my apartment building, which is a nice and open space. We'll be using the pool table as our gaming surface. I will be covering the pool table up with some sort of hard surface (wooden planks, etc) so we're obviously not playing
directly on the pool table, but I anticipate a playing surface of about 4x8.
Depending on how many people we get, the size and scope of the game will change. As of right now, I'm going to suggest each player brings a 2,000 point list. If you don't have 2,000 points, don't worry, because I have no doubt someone else will be willing to make up for the point difference.
It'll be played by pretty standard Apocalypse rules. I may add one or two things (like, scenario-related happenings), but I still have to work that stuff out.
The victor of the game will not be decided by Kill Points or any of that other crap. Obviously, if one player tables everything else, they're the winner. In less clear circumstances, we'll leave it up to the tyranny of the majority: Whoever the group thinks deserves to be the winner, wins. In event of a draw, D6 it. Easy! Why?
The winner gets the magnificent prize of being able to deliver their fiercest blow to my cranium with a wiffle-bat, post game. We'll obviously put this on youtube, doubly so if I manage to lose an eye in the process.
Final note: If you show up in time for the game and skip painting entirely, everyone present is allowed to take turns beating on you with said wiffle bat for an indeterminate amount of time.
What happens after this?
Well, there are two options. You can either stay at my apartment for the night/morning and sleep off whatever you've drank, or go the hell home.
As of right now, I have no spare sleeping surfaces. All three of the sleepable surfaces in my apartment have been spoken for (Bed, futon, sofa). If you bring yourself a sleeping bag, or inflatable bed or something, and don't mind sleeping on the floor, you're welcome to spend the night.
I'm kicking you all out by midday Sunday because I am still a responsible law student with things to do. :P
If you take the train, you might find it easier to get home at whatever godforsaken hour in the morning we decide to quit on Sunday. The parking garage adjacent to my building is, however, open 24 hours, so you can get to your vehicle whenever.
> Anything else I should know?AS OF RIGHT NOW, WE HAVE 6 ATTENDEES: and fuck I don't feel like updating this list constantly right now
Myself (I should hope so)
Wulf
My out-of-state buddy Brian
Another dude named Mike
Dakkabu, from the-waaagh.com's forums
The Count of Midget Fisto
Based on the current composition of attendees, it is important I toss out this disclaimer:
DO NOT COME IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO HANDLE ABOUT 14 HOURS OF TASTELESS JOKES, ETC.
Because that's basically what you're in for.
Please LET ME KNOW YOU ARE COMING by the first week in Jan. or so, so I have some idea of how much room/food I have to provide.
Posts
Maybe we can get some staged "dragged intot he back of a van" going on, if it'll get me there with no fuss :winky:
If you can get the okay and the means to come, you're absolutely welcome to, but I want to make sure that we're clear that under no conditions are you procuring alcohol through this, because I could get in worlds of shit (if I get charged with anything related to serving minors I can get kicked out of law school).
In all seriousness, though, I'm looking at a total of 6 people right now (waiting on a verification of the 6th's method if getting here before I say yes for sure) and I have no doubt that in the course of a few hours hundreds, if not thousands of points of greenskins will finally see color.
Pictures will be taken in abundance for all of you losers who live in other stupid states or countries.
Hmm, maybe tim and I could roadtrip up there... that's during our winter break, I believe...
Totally ruined my day.
It's unlikely, but were you with Misfire, the webcomic? Isn't that how they got shut down?
Also, I might come up depending on what class is like at the time.
We can put you on base-painting drybrush duty. :P
When you get a chance, send me a PM and let me know how you intend on getting here, if you're staying the night, that sort of thing.
Also, your beverage of choice. 8-)
2. I think I'll spend the same day painting my orks, who have no paint whatsoever as it stands.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
I have many uses, most of the legal.
And I drink Hoegaarden. Or any regular lager mixed with mango juice.
You like Hoegaarden and warhammer? We should totally hang out
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
Whether or not this will fit in my apartment is another matter entirely, but I'll figure it out.
We'll make it fit! You still have that tape on the floor?
I do. We may have to seriously rearrange the layout of my apartment for that to work, though.
I refuse to play on the floor mostly because of my back problems. I can't walk after I do something like that, and a big game is likely to drag on a long while.
It may end up that we need to reserve the basketball half-court in my apartment building's basement to fit this thing in. :P
In memorium of my missing this, paint up at least ONE ork different from the rest, and write on his base "Thegreatestorkever" or some such thing.
Such has it been ordered, and so shall it be!
I had a Torts final exam today, this morning (The 19th). My law school, in it's incredible benevolence, has decided to cancel all of the exams taking place today due to inclement weather, despite the fact that there is absolutely no snow on the ground whatsoever. Like, it is dry as a bone outside my window. I can see the law school from my apartment. But! Apparently, I get extra time to study for my final, so huzzah for me, etc.
Now, there's a complication here. They have rescheduled my Torts exam for, you guessed it, Jan. 17th. I guess this is so they don't screw people up who had travel plans for the 20th to go back home for the holidays. Of course, this screws me up something fierce, in that the 17th was my planned day for festivities. I have not been told what time the exams are at on the 17th, but it's safe to assume they're around noon like every other final exam I've had at law school has been.
So, therein lies the problem. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this. The easiest possible solution would probably be to bump it forward or backwards a week, so that I don't lose my mind trying to organize everyone while walking into my Torts final exam.
I need to hear from you guys that are coming as to what you think you might want to do.
The Saturday before and the Saturday after will not be good for me, I fear. Nor will the last Saturday of January. Perhaps next time you do this.
Give me a shout when you (and Wulf and any others) are up for playing a game of 40K in the local store or in that lounge or something. I haven't played in a long while.
I hope you guys drink a lot, because if you leave me with all this booze I am going to have to become an alcoholic just to get some of my fridge space back.
Everything else is still on for Sunday the 18th. Painting starts at noon - get here earlier than that so you have time to unpack/unwind. We'll paint till 6, then head down into my building's conference room and throw down some Warhammer on their fancy meeting table.
I previously said to put together a 2k list, and I would hope you all still do that. However, if you guys have enough models to manage it, also put together a 3k list - I am not sure how many people are bringing what, exactly, so a bit of flexibility in the army lists would help speed things along nicely.
Good luck with the torts exam, Ein. It's not fun, I know.