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Squidbunny's stupid thread again (help me do a crappy cover really fast)

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    GurtPerkGurtPerk Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm also going to say second to last one. I agree - it does feel a bit more western to me and I'm just generally intrigued as to what's gonna happen next.

    The last one with the clockwork is pretty cool, but as for a cover, I personally think that the second to last is stronger.

    Still amazing stuff, I love this comic. When this gets printed, I am buying copies. plural.

    GurtPerk on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thanks, guys! :D

    Because of personal preference & points (mostly made in the doodle thread) about all of them I'm leaning toward this one, so I started building it up some to see where it goes.

    cover_WIPv2.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Maaaaaan, that is way fancier than the original mock-up and I am digging it as a result.

    Spectre-x on
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    GurtPerkGurtPerk Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Really dig the colors, great silhouette. :^:

    GurtPerk on
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    KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    the silouette might want to go smaller.. Just so you have big shape vs little shape (more contrast more interesting) vs Two closer in size shapes..


    the tangent of his hat and the design element is distracting.

    Kendeathwalker on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Worked on this a bit:

    cover_WIPv2.1.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    That looks better, but with his forearm at that angle it makes his upper arm look incredibly long. On a related note, with his chest at that angle I personally would expect to see part of his shoulder. Otherwise it's perfect.

    Spectre-x on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Little more noodling, more slight changes. I've kind of lost all objectivity.

    cover_WIP_v2.2.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    His arm still looks a bit weird. I did a quick paintover, but I don't prefess to be a master at anatomy so I might still be wrong.

    I've also included a little doodle to show where it looks the arm is coming from strictly for comedy purposes.

    NTO-cover-paintover.jpg

    Spectre-x on
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    HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Love that new cover design.

    Heartlash on
    My indie mobile gaming studio: Elder Aeons
    Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Ha! I see your point, Spex, and I'll do a better job fixing that up, though I think your drawover's a little extreme. The way he's angled (or supposed to be), especially with his hand at that height, his shoulder's thrown further back, out of view.

    Now I want to put two additional hands in the image, though, on either side of the flame, shuffling cards through it.

    Thanks, Heartlash! :D

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited August 2010
    I'm partial to pulling out a bit and just showing the crotch arm.

    I really like this cover, my only nitpick is the fire which looks kinda like glowing swirling gas or magma to me. It conveys heat just fine so maybe its insignificant, it just looks like liquid and not like flame, to me.

    Iruka on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Iruka, my sister hated the fire, too, saying it looked nothing like fire. I've left it so far because I think with it looking all liquid and noodley it conveys faster that it's unnatural. I could be persuaded to ditch it, though, if folks at large aren't digging it.

    I took the boring way out:
    sick_of_this_cover.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    It might make it look a bit more fire-like if it were a little sharper or solid, maybe. A bit less gas-like. I like the liquidity of it, though. It does make it look like unnatural fire under his control.

    The arm looks fine now, by the way. It's shaping up to look real neat.

    Spectre-x on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Iruka? Fire? Iruka? Eh? Eh? Mommy? Mama? Ma? Ma? Lois?

    oh_my_god_sick_of_it.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Better.

    I"m still not sure what the hole cog/gears thing is about. Also I don't get the vertical lines going upwards. Is it supposed to be a pendulum?

    earthwormadam on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    It's the guts of a pocket watch, which is ultimately important to the story, but generally, it's just decorative. Since it's a more a tonal abstraction, now, and not a specific story moment, I guess I just figured design elements were okay?

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I guess it was just the pillar-ish vertical shaft thing that was throwing me off.

    I like this cover, but if I saw it in stores without knowing how awesome everything was inside, I may have passed on taking a further look. The first cover, though it also had a few problems, gave me that slam bang feeling that this one lacks. I think it's just a preference however, since this one is just more of a thinking mans cover.

    I think the biggest issue with this cover (haha issue) is that the bottom landscape is very very dark and nothing else in the composition comes close to matching that much blackness. Maybe some darker spots in the clouds near the top would help, or applying some darker shadow areas to the main character.

    earthwormadam on
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    melting_dollmelting_doll Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Looking at his hand, it looks a little unnatural. Just 'cause I myself, had I the power to control fire, probably wouldn't have my arm angled that way and my wrist twisted in towards me. The tips of the fingers would probably be facing forward, farther away from the body.

    EDIT: Maybe this piece of crap thing will show what I mean:
    owwrist.jpg

    melting_doll on
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    Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Ah, but he's holding it out in front of his chest, so the hand at an agnle like that is more natural than holding it straight out. It also looks more dramatic.

    Spectre-x on
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    HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Holding my hand out, it appears to be most comfortable somewhere in between, nearly a 45 degree angle from above.

    EDIT: I should say it doesn't bother me enough as is, though.

    Heartlash on
    My indie mobile gaming studio: Elder Aeons
    Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
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    MunchMunch Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I really like the design of the cover, but I'm not really sold on the painted style or color choices. I feel like, were I browsing comics at my local shop, and I saw this cover, my eyes would just wash right over it. I think it's the combination of warm colors and soft edges on everything. But that's just my opinion as a dude that buys a lot of comics.

    For an example of eye-grabbing covers, Frank Quitely's covers for Batman and Robin 1-4 always made me immediately take notice of them at the comic shop, even when I wasn't really looking for them. Ditto for Invincible Iron Man 20-24. There's something about that searing neon that will just immediately grab your attention.

    Munch on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Universally rejected by everyone except the folks who wanted me to relinquish 50% ownership, NTO continues. I made it a terrible site at www.nexttownover.net, finished writing (rough drafts, anyway) all 13 chapters, and resumed drawing pages, like so:

    nto01_14.jpg

    ... In panel 4 does there need to be a sound effect? I'd say yes except we've previously voted down SFX in favor of ... not SFX.

    <3s.

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Just a few things:

    The art itself looks great. I really like it. The variety of close-ups and master shots gives the page a nice variety and it's easy to digest it as a whole. The character poses, the colors, I like them all. The first two dialogue balloons are a little confusing as far as which one belongs to each person. After like 2 or 3 seconds of looking, it's simple to interpret, but it looks like they were placed as an afterthought, so as not to cover up the art/characters. The 180 flip is a little confusing to. The bartender(?) just kind of comes out of nowhere. I would vote yes for a sound effect in panel 4. It needs something. As is, it just doesn't give the impression of a powerful gunshot.

    NibCrom on
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    FugitiveFugitive Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Just FYI, I had no problems with the word balloons in the first panel.

    I did have a problem with panel 4. It wasn't until you mentioned the sounds effects that I even noticed she had been shot. I just kind of assumed she was reluctantly putting her hands up. So, yeah, sound effect would probably be good.

    alsofyiIlikeyourcomic

    Fugitive on
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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    squidbunny wrote: »
    Universally rejected by everyone except the folks who wanted me to relinquish 50% ownership, NTO continues. I made it a terrible site at www.nexttownover.net, finished writing (rough drafts, anyway) all 13 chapters, and resumed drawing pages, like so:

    nto01_14.jpg

    ... In panel 4 does there need to be a sound effect? I'd say yes except we've previously voted down SFX in favor of ... not SFX.

    <3s.
    how did the sheriff shoot
    from the right, but the bullet thingy impacts the outside of the left arm...i'm confused about that...otherwise, ive loved this whole thing.

    NakedZergling on
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I would say a SFX would be beneficial in that case, but only because visually the change in action is subtle. But either way its awesome, I think I would just prefer a sound effect.

    Woo I can't wait to see more.

    earthwormadam on
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    NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I think i prefer it without the sound fx. If only because I noticed her being shot right away and I like that it conveys her being shot before even noticing that there is another guy there.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited November 2010
    The simple thing to do, I think, would be to increase the opacity on the bullet hole and then smoke. It does look like the bullet is coming from the wrong direction, though.

    Iruka on
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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Personally thought it looked like we are seeing the exit wound but maybe it would help if you showed a little blood spraying out? Would also make the shot more obvious. Don't think you need SFX.

    And if it's not supposed to be an exit wound then yeah, she's being shot from the wrong side.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    The action lines dictate that the object is hitting the outside of the arm in panel 4 it clearly reads(to me) that the bullet is moving from right to left and were looking at the bullet/dart lodged in the arm and NOT an exit wound, though if she were shot that is where the exit wound should be.

    NakedZergling on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Thanks for all the feedback guys. :D

    Seems panel 4 is problematic.

    It is an exit wound that we're seeing; I agree that blood would clarify this immensely but it's significant that the character not bleed so I'll see what else I can do.

    Zerg, you say the action lines clearly read as not an exit wound; how would you go about making it look ... exitier?

    In retrospect the best fix would be an additional panel of the sheriff's gun firing in between the two close-ups on Vane aiming but goddamnit I don't want to redraw the whole thing. ; ;

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Is this exitier?

    nto01_14v2.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    farbekriegfarbekrieg Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I know this will be ackward, but the updating of this thread makes my nether bits all tingly!

    Moar drawing squids... more drawing!

    I think some of us are getting caught up in trying to bring alot of reality into your story, things like bullet speed, entry and exit wounds, and confusion about directionality of the bullet based on position of the characters.

    it does look much exitier.... i likes it

    farbekrieg on
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    i like it like that

    earthwormadam on
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    Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Good golly gosh, I hope I can make my comic as awesome as this one, squidbunny.

    Arden Canelo on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Thanks, guys! :D

    Arden: if you obsess over it long enough it will be as good and better.

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    It does look exitier. I still vote for no SFX though. Of course how you use my vote is up to you :)

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
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    NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    smof wrote: »
    It does look exitier. I still vote for no SFX though. Of course how you use my vote is up to you :)

    i would vote for no sfx as well.

    It looks much cleaner that way and I think the new wound + bullet sells it well enough

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'm with you guys on no SFX; I hate them unless necessary and I really wanted to put across that she doesn't notice being shot at until it happens.

    I think this iteration is pretty definitive:

    nto01_14v3.jpg

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
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