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[Cards Against Humanity] Bad things come in threes.

2456717

Posts

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    @Sir Fabulous knew he had a very special issue of Sky Mall when he ran across these ads:

    Forget everything you know about Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum, because now we've supercharged it with Slightly more than 3 ounces of cum! (Egos)
    Forget everything you know about My sex dungeon, because now we've supercharged it with Doggy-style with a real doggy! (Cog :star: )
    Forget everything you know about A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw, because now we've supercharged it with The few shreds of tinsel still clinging to my asshole! (Heffling)
    Forget everything you know about Natural selection, because now we've supercharged it with My machete! (Cythraul)
    Forget everything you know about Finally finishing off the Indians, because now we've supercharged it with A gratuitous claymation sequence! (Gizzy)
    Forget everything you know about Yiffing, because now we've supercharged it with Being kicked in the ovaries! (Anialos)

    chamberlain on
    Megafrost
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    I like these.

    There's something wrong with me...

    ...with all of us.

    MrTLicious wrote:
    I'm done.

    (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
    CogHefflingMegafrostAnialosEgos
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Man.

    Good round.

    Do not envy @Sir Fabulous having to judge this one.

    Megafrost
  • MegafrostMegafrost Leader of the Decepticons Registered User regular
    Thirded. This is a very amazing round.

  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    In a game where the goal is to go too far,

    Forget everything you know about My sex dungeon, because now we've supercharged it with Doggy-style with a real doggy!

    Might be the worst it can get. There's something about the enthusiasm the exclamation mark adds at the end there that just tickles me.
    No wait not in that way wai-

    pickup-sig.php?name=Orthanc
    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,' @Cog brings the reader to some very strange places.

    And the aftermath?

    @Sir Fabulous @Egos @Heffling @Cythraul @Gizzy @Anialos

    Mmmmm, _____! …and it's still warm!

    ElvenshaeCog
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @Egos what can you possible have to do on the weekend that is more important than an offensive card game being played on a gaming forum?

    Cythraul
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    @Cog what's your favorite way to stay warm on these cool fall evenings?

    Mmmmm, Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti! …and it's still warm! (Heffling)
    Mmmmm, The miracle of childbirth! …and it's still warm! (Cythrual)
    Mmmmm, Flesh-eating bacteria! …and it's still warm! (Sir Fabuous)
    Mmmmm, Giant sperm from outer space! …and it's still warm! (Egos)
    Mmmmm, A chronic colonic.! …and it's still warm! (Gizzy)
    Mmmmm, A urine-filled bong! …and it's still warm! (Anialos :star: )

    chamberlain on
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Maybe it's because it's the most relatable, but there's something about a bong full of hot piss that is seriously disturbing.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    When asked how high he was at the time, @Anialos shrugged and said he was multitasking. 'Hey man, my bong could be used on sea anemone stings.'

    @Cog @Heffling @Cythraul @Sir Fabulous @Egos @Gizzy

    Just in time for next year's Sundance Film Festival:

    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with _____.

    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    Ok @Anialos I would like the answer delivered in your best 'In a world...' voice:

    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with Waiting for the bar to open. (Sir Fabulous)
    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with The Holy Bible. (Egos)
    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with The Virginia Tech Massacre. (Heffling)
    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with Never watching, discussing, or thinking about My Little Pony. (Cog)
    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas. (Cythraul :star: )
    Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with Like a million alligators. (Gizzy)

    chamberlain on
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

    I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

    CythraulElvenshaeHeffling
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Cog wrote: »
    From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

    I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

    I agree, but I didn't gloss over it. :D

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    Cog wrote: »
    From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

    I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

    I agree, but I didn't gloss over it. :D

    Why does your Red 3 card cost 4 mana? :confused:

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Cog wrote: »
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    Cog wrote: »
    From the steamy new novel, '50 Shades of Greyhound,'

    I totally glossed over it at the time, but this was a fine joke and deserves some recognition.

    I agree, but I didn't gloss over it. :D

    Why does your Red 3 card cost 4 mana? :confused:

    Because it's got wacky effects and a solid statline, so it'd be OP as only a 3-drop!

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    @Sir Fabulous we've exchanged places this game

  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
    ElvenshaechamberlainCogHefflingNotoriusBEN
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    If there were judge points I would give Anialos like a million of them. CaH is a harsh mistress, though, so @Cythraul benefits from another's hard work.

    @Anialos @Sir Fabulous @Egos @Heffling @Cog @Gizzy

    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _____ to the people of Haiti.

    You aren't less generous than Sean Penn, are you? Are you??

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    @Cythraul How did Sean Penn top his interview with El Chapo?

    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought An oversized lollipop to the people of Haiti. (Gizzy)
    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought An unforgettable quinceanera to the people of Haiti. (Sir Fabulous)
    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought A peyote-fueled vision quest to the people of Haiti. (Cog :star: )
    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought The Ubermensch to the people of Haiti. (Heffling)
    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought Gloryholes to the people of Haiti. (Egos)
    After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought Lunchables to the people of Haiti. (Anialos)

    chamberlain on
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    I can absolutely visualize every single one of those things legitimately, really happening, and Sean Penn looking extremely fucking sanctimonious about it.

    Heffling
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    Agreed! The one that tickles my current fancy though is After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought A peyote-fueled vision quest to the people of Haiti

    MrTLicious wrote:
    I'm done.

    (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    You chose.... wisely.

    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @Cog knows that Haiti is a real place but is certain that Sean Penn is nothing more than a hallucination. Maybe that means he will go away someday.

    @Cythraul @Gizzy @Sir Fabulous @Heffling @Egos @Anialos

    Your trip to the family zoo was going just fine until little Jimmy tugs on your arm.

    What's wrong with these gorillas?

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    @Egos The power of Halloween compels you to send me your card.

    chamberlain on
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited October 2016
    I hope you had a fine Halloween weekend @Cog but now it is time to get back to business.

    Monkey business.

    What's wrong with these gorillas? The Y2K bug. (Heffling)
    What's wrong with these gorillas? Don't you care choose any answer mentioning Harambe. (Sir Fabulous)
    What's wrong with these gorillas? A fishy taste. (Egos :star: )
    What's wrong with these gorillas? Ethnic cleansing. (Anialos)
    What's wrong with these gorillas? Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers. (Cythraul)
    What's wrong with these gorillas? Men. (Gizzy)

    chamberlain on
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    I'm going to go with the one that grammatically and reasonably makes the most sense: A fishy taste.

    Real talk: not our strongest round.

    Auralynx
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    I blame myself, that wasn't a very good black card. But the gods of CaH resent having their random choices tampered with. @Egos did the best he could.

    @Cog @Heffling @Sir Fabulous @Anialos @Cythraul @Gizzy

    It's lunch time at the office and

    I'm so hungry, I could eat _____.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Either @Anialos doesn't eat or he ate his card. Send me a fresh one.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited November 2016
    Ring that dinner bell @Egos

    I'm so hungry, I could eat A self-microwaving burrito. (Cog)
    I'm so hungry, I could eat Father's forbidden chocolates. (Heffling :star: )
    I'm so hungry, I could eat Space muffins. (Gizzy)
    I'm so hungry, I could eat The true meaning of Christmas. (Sir Fabulous)
    I'm so hungry, I could eat Six pounds of raw, peeled garlic. (Anialos)
    I'm so hungry, I could eat Cake farts. (Cythraul)

    chamberlain on
  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    I like the narrative behind father's forbidden chocolates

    Also thanks to this I now know what cake farts are......

  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Huh. I figured it was a euphemism. Nope.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    I thought that father's forbidden chocolates was a euphemism as well. I am not going to google it, not matter what @Heffling says. He can keep the point.

    Game note: I have noticed that some of you have a few shitty, shitty cards. In two rounds, we'll call it the end of the first quarter, I will allow you to dump whatever terribleness that you do not think you can use and get fresh awful things.

    But for now @Egos @Cog @Gizzy @Sir Fabulous @Anialos @Cythraul do your worst with this:

    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long _____ can withstand _____.

    ...so that's why the series finally ended.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited November 2016
    @Heffling what was your favorite sweeps episode?

    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long Smirnoff® the Wizard can withstand Another shot of morphine. (Egos)
    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long The biggest, blackest dick can withstand Leprosy. (Sir Fabulous)
    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long The Chinese gymnastics team can withstand Kinky fuckery. (Cog :star: )
    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long A mating display can withstand Fisting. (Gizzy)
    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else can withstand Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine. (Anialos)
    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long Someone who isn't me can withstand Using a live squid as a condom. (Cythraul)

    chamberlain on
    ElvenshaeCogHeffling
  • HefflingHeffling No Pic EverRegistered User regular
    edited November 2016
    I can totally imagine Adam Savage excitedly volunteering for this one:

    Today on MythBusters, we found out how long The Chinese gymnastics team can withstand Kinky fuckery.

    Heffling on
    If a movement doesn't have someone that can sit down opposite those in a position of power and strike a deal, how can that movement achieve success?
    Elvenshae
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Smirnoff® the Wizard is one of my new favorite cards.

    Egos
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    I would've loved to see Grant's face when Jamie announced "Today on MythBusters, we found out how long Someone who isn't me can withstand Using a live squid as a condom."

    Awesome round, y'all.

    elvenshae2_zps569236d5.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The FATE of the Rebellion PBP
    FotR on Obsidian Portal
    CogHeffling
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    You know what too much kinky fuckery will get you, right @Cog ?

    @Heffling @Egos @Sir Fabulous @Gizzy @Anialos @Cythraul

    What will they carve on my tombstone?

    ...death by kinky fuckery. :winky:

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited November 2016
    @Cog when you die how do you want the public to remember you?

    What will they carve on my tombstone? Sweater puppies. (Anialos)
    What will they carve on my tombstone? www.clownpenis.fart (Gizzy :star: )
    What will they carve on my tombstone? Lactation. (Heffling)
    What will they carve on my tombstone? Man meat. (Sir Fabulous)
    What will they carve on my tombstone? The Klobb. (Cythraul)
    What will they carve on my tombstone? Rock bottom. (Egos)

    chamberlain on
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Space on my tombstone is for sale. www.clownpenis.fart is currently the only bidder.

    Gizzy
  • GizzyGizzy <- girl PhoenixRegistered User regular
    Woo!

    3DS Friend Code 3282-2248-0453
    Gizzy's Amazon Xmas Wishlist
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