Fucking with your coworkers

CrackedLens

I work at a television station. For a week me and a buddy saved every script we could get our hands on. When we figured we had enough, we nabbed a guys a guys car keys and threw all the paper inside. It filled his entire Chevy Blazer up to the steering wheel.

Also, when it snows, we peons in Production sometimes have to go clear the parking lot so the news vans can get out. we usually just pick some one's car and pile all the snow up on it.

Aslan

Skull Man wrote: »

Kuribo's Shoe wrote: »

Skull Man wrote: »

I changed a girl's timesheets to fifteen minutes before she came in and fifteen minutes after she left

she got paid more for a week, then fired

that'll teach her not to get me lunch when she's going out and I offer money

harsh

yeah well

I was hungry and had six hours before I got off

I just got more and more pissed

plus she was fat and seemed to really relish her food

so it was extra infuriating

and she used to sing radio edits of shit songs; that is, she would sing the songs loudly and go "hmm" over any swears

Is her name Jean Teasedale and does she write for the Onion?

Larlar

A coworker left his computer unlocked once and I changed around all the dates and times so I could send him an e-mail that looked like it was from himself from the future (I also had to delete the trail it left, like in the "sent messages" folder, etc.), warning him not to eat his lunch. He asked me and a few other people about it and I just played dumb.

He actually threw out the lunch he brought and bought a new one at the caf that day.

redimpulse

I've:

Stuck card stock in between the lever and the button for raising/lowering the seat height. In all the chairs in the office. That's simple and produces a decent laugh.
Reversed the receiver/microphone part in the phones.
Scotch taped the phones so it's incredibly hard to hear and/or be heard.
Pulled the one in the OP with the background stuff.
Filled an entire cube with packing peanuts.
Swapped a QWERTY keyboard with a Dvorak but switched the keys around to resemble QWERTY

Probably other things too

Rage

Oh, for those that love to leave their workstations unlocked: CTRL+ALT+ Down arrow will flip their screen upside down (works for WinXP Home & Pro)

always a quick and dirty office warfare tactic.


Also: Play "Hide the Sushi" with your most hated officemate. The betting pools can reach incredible proportions.

Dajian

We also hooked up a usb hub to one guys system after he left for the day and added an extra keyboard and mouse to his system.

The guy sitting across from him was able to randomly caps lock, sticky key, and right click while he was in the middle of coding. The hub stayed attached for 4 months all the while the guy got more and more convenced his system was screwed.

We tried to keep it subtle so we could drag it out but we were moving desks soon so we just started randomly locking his computer or doing [windows key + R] opening notepad and typing wierd messages to him.

He was pissed for about 5 minutes then laughed his ass off.

Lardalish

Stale wrote: »

The celery salt thing was probably my greatest achievement in life.

Over 2 months I took a perfectly sane aware confident man, and by the end he was haggard, costantly ill, and smelled celery EVERYWHERE. Even at home.


"It follows me..... it follows me."


Of course it did. he was kicking it up onto his pant legs each day. He spent thousands of dollars going to doctors. He was convinced he had a brain tumor.

God damnit, you glorious bastard.

I want to be this awesome.

Aretè

Pstools.

Oh my god the fun with Pstools.

Bluescreen/Lock/Reboot/ is just the tip of the iceberg.

Infact...think I'll fuck with someone right now.

CrackedLens

Our boss went out of town visiting a sister station one time. We came in with 2x4s, drywall and paint. In one night we made his office into a broom closet. because he was gone so long, the cleaning people actually started using it as a place to store all of their shit!!

He was pissed when he got back

Skull Man

when I volunteered at the library I came in during this one asshole's shift and reshelved the encyclopedias to spell FUCK MR WITHOS

who was of course our boss

fired

redimpulse

Dajian wrote: »

We also hooked up a usb hub to one guys system after he left for the day and added an extra keyboard and mouse to his system.

The guy sitting across from him was able to randomly caps lock, sticky key, and right click while he was in the middle of coding. The hub stayed attached for 4 months all the while the guy got more and more convenced his system was screwed.

We tried to keep it subtle so we could drag it out but we were moving desks soon so we just started randomly locking his computer or doing [windows key + R] opening notepad and typing wierd messages to him.

He was pissed for about 5 minutes then laughed his ass off.

This is good!

Also we would send random shutdown commands to each others computers. Great fun until you figure out who's doing it.

CrackedLens

Skull Man wrote: »

when I volunteered at the library I came in during this one asshole's shift and reshelved the encyclopedias to spell FUCK MR WITHOS

who was of course our boss

fired

nice

Rage

Oh, also Google for "cupholder.exe" - and if you're bright enough, you'll find a way to task that little bastard on someone's workstation.

CD tray out.

CD tray in.

CD tray out.

CD tray in....

Tonkka

I enjoy squirting ketchup packets underneath car door handles and the watching people in the parking lot have to walk back in to wash their hands.

Today might be a good day.

mully

the worst thing i've ever been involved in was sending a love letter from one male co-workers unlocked computer to another male.

i tend to leave my co-workers alone, they're all pretty dumb.

the admin assistant in my department actually called tech support because she couldn't figure out where her files were after one folder was renamed. engineering was renamed to engineering division.

every time she wants to open something, she goes through "why can't i find this" "because you're in word, you don't have all files selected, and you're trying to open an excel file. see? *switches to all files*" "oh.. but i just saw all my word documents." "yeah .... you're trying to open an excel file though.. see? here it is... now let's go over to excel..." "word won't open my excel document?" "it'll likely link you over to it but that's.. i mean.. why'd you open word to get to an excel document?" "why did it only show me those other word documents when i first got in though?? where did my excel file go??"

she can not grasp this concept; it kills me.

Skull Man

CrackedLens wrote: »

Skull Man wrote: »

when I volunteered at the library I came in during this one asshole's shift and reshelved the encyclopedias to spell FUCK MR WITHOS

who was of course our boss

fired

nice

someone has to consistently bother me and ignore my requests to stop for me to strike

when I do it is always to get them fired

CrackedLens

mully wrote: »

the worst thing i've ever been involved in was sending a love letter from one male co-workers unlocked computer to another male.

i tend to leave my co-workers alone, they're all pretty dumb.

the admin assistant in my department actually called tech support because she couldn't figure out where her things are after one folder was renamed. engineering was renamed to engineering division.

wow

we had a guy call IT freaking because he couldnt find the recycle bin in the upper right corner of his screen

it was moved to the lower right corner......

mcp

Rage wrote: »

Oh, for those that love to leave their workstations unlocked: CTRL+ALT+ Down arrow will flip their screen upside down (works for WinXP Home & Pro)

always a quick and dirty office warfare tactic.


Also: Play "Hide the Sushi" with your most hated officemate. The betting pools can reach incredible proportions.

Man, when I first found out about that, someone in our finance department accidentally hit that key combination, and couldn't remember what the fuck they did.

It was hilarious and extraordinarily annoying at the same time.

Saph

Once, I took a salt-shaker and unscrewed the lid...

So when some unsuspecting innocent went to salt his food..

.. THE SALT WOULD ALL COME OUT AT ONCE, RUINING HIS MEAL!

PiptheFair

Saph wrote: »

Once, I took a salt-shaker and unscrewed the lid...

So when some unsuspecting innocent went to salt his food..

.. THE SALT WOULD ALL COME OUT AT ONCE, RUINING HIS MEAL!

histories greatest monster

CrackedLens

Saph wrote: »

Once, I took a salt-shaker and unscrewed the lid...

So when some unsuspecting innocent went to salt his food..

.. THE SALT WOULD ALL COME OUT AT ONCE, RUINING HIS MEAL!

Scandalous!!!

misbehavin

Rage wrote: »

- Officemate went on vacation for two weeks, so I brought in a Costco-sized roll of plastic wrap. Even our director was in his cube, wrapping everything that wasn't attached to his desk. Once that job was completed, we walled in and roofed the cube with the remaining plastic wrap, afterwhich I cut a rectangular window out, taped a cardboard "door" labeled "Recycling".

For the next two weeks, our entire building of 200+ devs, QA and tech support staff filled Josh's cube up with empty pop cans and cardboard. His cube never smelled quite right ever again after that.


- My first gig at MS years ago. One of the PMs went on maternity leave for a month after his daughter was born. Our old building had a massive freight elevator around the back side of the regular elevator area, and one of the other managers decided it would make an absolutely perfect office for Terry, since Terry was an incredible dick about people fucking with his stuff.

So, we had Facilities close down the elevator for 2 days - took reference photos of Terry's office, and 10 of us proceeded to systematically take apart and re-build his entire office IN the freight elevator; desk, computers, haggard-ass futon couch thing...everything was removed and relocated into his new "office" and our boss's boss had MSIT change his office location in the GAL to "B25-Freight01" to make it official.

He was actually a really good sport about it when he came back, and even worked out of the elevator for a couple of days to keep the joke rolling.

I MUST KNOW WHERE YOU WORK AND GET A JOB THERE!

mully wrote: »

the worst thing i've ever been involved in was sending a love letter from one male co-workers unlocked computer to another male.

i tend to leave my co-workers alone, they're all pretty dumb.

the admin assistant in my department actually called tech support because she couldn't figure out where her files were after one folder was renamed. engineering was renamed to engineering division.

every time she wants to open something, she goes through "why can't i find this" "because you're in word, you don't have all files selected, and you're trying to open an excel file. see? *switches to all files*" "oh.. but i just saw all my word documents." "yeah .... you're trying to open an excel file though.. see? here it is... now let's go over to excel..." "word won't open my excel document?" "it'll likely link you over to it but that's.. i mean.. why'd you open word to get to an excel document?" "why did it only show me those other word documents when i first got in though?? where did my excel file go??"

she can not grasp this concept; it kills me.

You have to kill her, for the good of all mankind.

M.D.

I've done some stuff to coworkers. Yea, it was bad and I did it.

Rage

When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

(find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

*5 minute panic*

Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

Wait for hilarity to ensue.

Saph

Mr. Embarkation wrote: »

I've done some stuff to coworkers. Yea, it was bad and I did it.

I wouldn't call rape, murder and torture pranks...

Xaquin

I would take screen shots of BSoDs and make them into power point presentations. Then I would set them as peoples screen savers with a 3 minute delay. Harmless, but fun.

Aretè

Rage wrote: »

When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

(find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

*5 minute panic*

Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

Wait for hilarity to ensue.

Hahah that is awesome.

Weaver

Callius wrote: »

So, last night a coworker of mine didn't lock his computer or log off when he went home. And we all know what that means... time to fuck with him!

I screen shotted his desktop, hid his task bar, hid all of his icons, put the screen shot as the wallpaper and reversed his two mouse buttons. Lo and behold, he couldn't do shit.

Well, I got in to work this morning and he was fucking livid, all bein' aggressive and saying that if I did it again he'd beat me. Shit like that. Turns out he couldn't figure out a way to fix it so he completely reformatted his computer.


yes... he reformatted his computer instead of spending five minutes to "fix" it.

He is supposed to be tech support.


Anyway, moral of the story... how have you fucked with your coworkers?

and go.

So THAT's what you did to him.

Callius

Weaver wrote: »

So THAT's what you did to him.

Plus I smeared goat blood on his keyboard.

Cerrius

I work with hispanics. I don't fuck with them cause I don't want my shit stolen and/or getting shanked.

mcp

Rage wrote: »

When bored, I would take a peek at the real-time traffic monitors coming in and out of our F5s and Barracuda spam appliances.

A bored administrator with domain root, Altiris and a remote console is nothing but good times.

(find someone surfing MySpace or something...)

net send: This is not company-approved content. Your workstation will be locked in 5 minutes and your supervisor notified of your actions.

*5 minute panic*

Remote to target machine and lock out the user.

Wait for hilarity to ensue.

From time to time I like to Curtain users with ARD 3. It drops a big padlock on their screen, and displays whatever message you type in. Takes 10 seconds to hear them running down the aisle to my desk.

Skull Man

Callius wrote: »

Weaver wrote: »

So THAT's what you did to him.

Plus I smeared goat blood on his keyboard.

was he jewish

Hunter

Cerrius wrote: »

I work with hispanics. I don't fuck with them cause I don't want my shit stolen and/or getting shanked.

Wow, you really put no thought into that racism. You just threw it out there in all its shittyness.

Callius

Hunter wrote: »

Wow, you really put no thought into that racism. You just threw it out there in all its shittyness.

I work with doctors, so I'm always afraid that they'll smell like lavender and eat all my churros.

Saph

Cerrius wrote: »

I work with hispanics. I don't fuck with them cause I don't want my shit stolen and/or getting shanked.

Exactly, and good luck getting an asian to take a joke, they're all "WAKATAW" and you find yourself sent to the floor by their expert knowledge of the martial arts.

Abracadaniel

I uh, got one of my coworkers laid off by getting involved in physical confrontations yet being better liked and more useful to the company.

crocodilemachine

My story starts out with my co-workers fucking with me. This one guy at work (I used to work at a gas station/fast food restaurant) would put me on bathroom check duty and before he would send me in, he would sneak into the bathroom, shit in it, and then place one of the old footlong hot dogs from the fast food side and put it in there to insure I would have to dig in there and remove the hot dog so the toilet would not clog.

This went on once before and that time he told me "it had to have been a customer" after he took a sip from his 32oz cup covered with a straw lid. (See where I am going with this?)

So on my last day of work (before moving up to college) he thought he would play the same prank again for "old time's sake" and thus shit in the bathroom and placed a hot dog in it. So as a pulled the cleaning cart up to the bathroom I also grabbed an empty cup. Once in there I immediately threw on the gloves, ripped the dog in half, threw half in the cup and the other half in the trash, and cleaned up.

When I came out of the bathroom, my co-worker was in the back doing dishes, probably laughing his ass off. So I took this opportunity to dump the contents of my cup into his ( fecal matter, dog, and all.) and popped the lid back on.

I then went to the timeclock and punched out an hour early and left.

I have yet to hear from the bastard.

Saph

Dumb Hero wrote: »

I uh, got one of my coworkers laid off by getting involved in physical confrontations yet being better liked and more useful to the company.

That's a classic

PiptheFair

Cerrius wrote: »

I work with hispanics. I don't fuck with them cause I don't want my shit stolen and/or getting shanked.

what in the ever-loving fuck

Skull Man

I got fired from my chef job for shoving a guy onto a tray of food when he grabbed my ass and said "when do you get off"

it was like the third time he did it