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Meeting People In College
Ziac45
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I moved into the dorms at my school yesterday for my first year of school. So far I really haven't met anyone, I have been leaving my door open and trying to go out for activities but the only people I have said anything to are the two guys I met years ago.
Is there any advice on what I should do to try and meet people with similar interests? I am trying to get in contact with the people who run the colleges game club but theres no contact link and I don't know how to go about it. Just a little worried I won't have an established group of friends and therefore hate the 4 years I am going to spend here. I should also add that a lot of the guys on my floor are just obnoxious blaring crappy music so loud I can hear it clearly with the door closed and they are 4 rooms away from me, so I don't hold much hope for the people on this floor.
Edit: I should also add that I am pretty incredibly shy when it comes to people I don't know.
Is there any advice on what I should do to try and meet people with similar interests? I am trying to get in contact with the people who run the colleges game club but theres no contact link and I don't know how to go about it. Just a little worried I won't have an established group of friends and therefore hate the 4 years I am going to spend here. I should also add that a lot of the guys on my floor are just obnoxious blaring crappy music so loud I can hear it clearly with the door closed and they are 4 rooms away from me, so I don't hold much hope for the people on this floor.
Edit: I should also add that I am pretty incredibly shy when it comes to people I don't know.
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Most college clubs are active on facebook saying when meetings are. Join and attend club meetings for anything you have an interest in. I was busy with other thins, but we had a chocolate lovers club and a juggling club.
There are clubs for everything.
PSN Hypacia
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This has been true of myself and literally everyone I know. Don't worry about it too much. I didn't have friends outside of my roommates and a few people on my hall for most of the first year, but I eventually met some awesome people and have been friends with them now for a couple years (going into senior year now).
Don't sweat it. Everybody else there is in the same boat as you.
College is also a great place to take up new interests, even ones that don't seem interesting at first.
If you see a group of people playing frisbee or something, ask if you can join. It might look like they have a circle of friends formed, but they're in the same situation you are and are looking for more friends too.
It's the first few weeks of the first semester of college for almost everybody around you. There will never be more social magic and acceptance than there is right now, everybody wants friends, not just you, and everybody is trying to figure out exactly how to meet more people. Just remember nobody knows anybody, nobody has good friends, there are no circles or groups to either accept or reject you, and everybody is willing to meet anybody.
All that aside, as far as meeting people who specifically share your interests, don't worry about that too much, that tends to happen naturally over time. I personally don't talk with any of my freshman year friends anymore, because we are nothing alike, but I had the time of my life with them and wouldn't trade those days for anything. Clubs do help for finding similar people, so does meeting people in your discipline, but so does meeting friends of friends and everything in between that involves being social.
Don't be shy! I consider my best friend the most confident person in the world, and the first thing he did in high school was go take a huge shit because he was so nervous on the first day. I never shat from nerves and I was voted shyest in the class! The only difference between confident and shy people is that shy people get nervous and assume nobody will like them, while confident people get nervous, but they understand everybody is just as shy and insecure as they are, so they go for it anyways. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Forget what other people think, be yourself, and get out there and share yourself with others, because that is exactly what everybody is hoping everybody else will do.
You're judging someone pretty harshly on their taste in music. It... you're a dick.
And to realize that sharing a lot of interests isn't always necessary for good friendships.
I don't think I am a dick, but I don't want to be in a room with music I don't like that is loud enough to make me go deaf. I think thats perfectly reasonable
I met a guy in college who listens to loud Finnish metal all the time. I hate metal, but we're very similar people and get along really well. Another guy I know is really nice and a good buddy but listens to rap so loud I can't think when it's on.
Just because you don't like their taste in music doesn't mean you're not going to like them.
EDIT: Oh, and a tip: I've met friends in almost every class I've had, but not a soul talked to anyone for at least a week, sometimes two or more. Give everyone time to become familiar with both the class and the people in it.
Try not to be so focused on finding people who share your interests. Instead, find people you enjoy being around - its interesting how little the two have to do with each other. Try new stuff - even if you think it's stupid, at least you'll have done it. Now, when you're a freshman and none of your classes are very hard, is the time to do that stuff. My school had a really nice climbing wall that the outdoors club ran - I met alot of great people there, that and the gym.
Classes in your major are a good place to make friends - this is also a practical concern as some of the people in those classes with you (i.e. people who aren't taking them for gen-ed) will be in those classes later and you'll have study buddies. My majors were history and anthropology and it was great to have those people on facebook or AIM in case I had a question about a class, and if they had any I would do my best to help out in turn. Study groups tend to sort of naturally progress into drinking groups as the years go by :winky:.
but they're listening to every word I say
Unbutton your shirt a little and be a little more forgiving of people's things. Welcome to college.
but they're listening to every word I say
I never said he was a dick, I said I didn't want to hang out in his room which is reasonable.
The third year I moved into a dorm and found a lot of awesome people.
I then started my own club that was video game related.
Met a lot of people that I have remained friends with outside of college...even met my girlfriend in the club. So yeah, do what you can and don't settle for shitty friends. Ride it out if you don't have anyone and bide your time by joining clubs and doing activities.
Also, just walking around the halls and commenting on cool shit that people have is not bad. If somebody is playing a video game, just ask what they're playing and see if you can get next (smash bros?), or if somebody has a guitar, or if somebody is watching a movie, or if somebody is studying for a class you have too, or etc.
And if you don't see anything cool, or if you don't wanna talk to them, then don't talk to them. Simple as that really.
Enjoy college! It's the last step before "real life" and "a job". Urgh.
I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
Look man, thats fine. I was only going off of "this guy listens to rap music too loud!"
Either way, be friendly eh? Living quarters like that can suck if everyone doesn't smile.
I moved my girlfriend into her dorm this weekend and someone down the hall was blasting their techno dance music. So a few of us just hopped into the room and started dancing. The person kinda freaked and gave us a "what the hell is this" face and I had to shout over the music: dance party.
I think they got the hint.
Yeah, that's just a kid being an asshole and generally inconsiderate. I remember my freshman year being pretty friendly, going door to door, and I made the mistake of trying to associate with people that weren't worth my time.
Your best bet is to just knock and ask them to turn it down. I'm a cynical individual when it comes to these types though, so I'm inclined to believe it won't end with them making any sort of visible effort.
It's worth a shot though.
It's also entirely possible he is very self-centered and has no idea his music is that loud to anyone else.
Yes - narcissism is one of the greatest diseases amongst the collegiate student body. He might be so enamored with himself that thinking of others is like thinking of whether or not he will get trampled by elephants this evening...as in, it never happens :P
If you don't want to be friends with those guys, that's your perogative. That said, I learned real quick the way *not* to make friends in college was to close my door and pretend like that was solving any problems. If I had to guess, based on what you've said, those guys are having a great time sharing with each other who they are. They're the guys that, six weeks from now, will have people coming in and out of their rooms and they'll still be playing their music really loudly. They're social.
Now, I'm not saying this is okay or should make you comfortable. But for the sake of living with people for a full year, it can often work to your advantage to put your most charismatic attitude on, and go make some inroads with these guys. Whether or not you want to be friends doesn't really matter - you'll find that having someone thinking you like them will make it a lot easier to have them turn their tunes down when it's 2 and you're trying to sleep.
No, I had it through the window you painted me of the "guys on my floor that are just obnoxious, blaring crappy music". I was just trying to give you advice I wish others had. But best of luck, it sounds like you're doing great. :winky:
And really don't worry about meeting your best friends for life in the first couple weeks of college. Meet a couple of people to hang out with and you will meet a lot more people over the next couple of years.
I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
I am dead FUCKING serious.
Now I'm not a super shy guy, but I not the most outgoing either--but the big trick is going to be putting yourself out there and stepping outside of your comfort zone--again and again. Right now at the start of college you can go anywhere and everyone is looking for new people to meet. There might be times when you will look and feel out of place, but I'm telling you, its worth it. I went to frat houses, drum circles, concerts, house parties, dance clubs, hall meetings, sports games, you name it (and many of these places seemed intimidating at first). I made friends with people I never thought I would, and did things I didn't think I ever would, all because when I felt awkward or out of place I just tried to be myself. Some people just wont mesh, but you'd be amazed the cool folks you can meet if you just get over some of your internal hangups and let it all out. College is the place to step out a bit, and if anything, I regret not being "out there" even more. I'm in law school now, and while there are some parallels, almost nothing is going to match your years in college.
If you have a roommate bring him along too, its great to have a wingman but not necessary. Just remember, you might not be the coolest kid in the room--or in any room--but few people are going to on hate you for being genuine, and those who do suck anyways.
Some girl walks in and asks me if she has a nice ass. I am pretty incredibly introverted so I was taken back and didn't know how to respond to that. She leaves and later she walks by and I hear her telling her friends about it and saying that all I ever do is play video games, which for some reason really depressed me and just got me to close the door and work on getting more organized.
1) To hell with her.
2) Don't always have your door open. I had mine open for the first week or so when I was just fuckin' around on the computer or cleaning. If I was "busy", that shit got shut.