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Greatest Stories About Drunkeness And Intoxication

FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
edited May 2010 in Social Entropy++
Monday Night
December 21'st
Friends Birthday
Packed Bar
More Friends Show Up Coincidentally
Now There Are About 30 Of The Closest Friends I've Ever Had
11 Tequila Shots
12 tequila Shots
13 Tequila Shots
Half a Pint of Smithwicks
Ran Into Two Girls who I knew from High School
...
...
Alarm Ringing
4 hours late for work
Still Drunk at Work
Become Hungover around 6:pm, with two hours left to work
Vomit repeatedly In The Staff Washroom
Go Home
Sleep for 14 Hours
Wake Up
Rub Eyes
Smile.


And that's the most well recollected version I have about the most recent story I have about an absolute fucked-beyond-comprehension night several months ago.

Any of you guys/gals like to share some crazy stories? Don't feel obliged to mimic my fractured/snapshot/drunken-memory format. I just thought it captured my experience of the evening.

I am a 21 year old male, so that means I can drink lots and not be an alcoholic, right?

Fosterdid on
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Posts

  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Teth? Is that you?

    Tossrock on
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  • Chia MountainChia Mountain Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I am a 22 year old male, so I condone both of our drinking habits. But your story is a bit on the mild side.

    Chia Mountain on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Schlitz!
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I have more, I was merely opening the floodgates.

    Also, I guess I'm a lightweight? I'm skinny anyway. 11 tqeuila shots very quick followed by a pint (oh, and some jagbombs) did me in for that evening.

    Fosterdid on
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    cool story, bro

    Damnit, I can't tell if you're mocking the "hipsterbro" vibe of my drunk story or if you're sincere...damn this postmodern cultureeeee!

    Fosterdid on
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    as far as "interesting" stories about intoxication go

    this one is really boring

    MrMonroe on
    STEAM ID
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fuck, three minutes roll by and I've had my story shredded by the posters. Fair enough. Just bear in mind I...I...have really good times thinking about it?

    anyway, let me cook up my next one with a bit more narrative punch.

    EDIT:

    Could I pass it off as a gentle, poetic way of rendering the paradoxical enjoyment derived from a hungover day? No? Okay.

    Fosterdid on
  • Chia MountainChia Mountain Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    This one time I was about to puke, I was by a toilet bowl, and right as I'm throwing up, I look to my right and see a guy pissing in the bathtub, and chuklets get all over his converse and skinny jeans. Shit was real.

    Chia Mountain on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Schlitz!
  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I just used logic to get some susie q's from a drunk guy on my hall.

    I love college.

    Baroque And Roll on
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    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Jagbombs.

    Viscount Islands on
    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Leyendecker_arrow_color_1907.jpg
    im too tired to think of any snide response to this thread so i just pressed ctrl-v

    i would fuck the second dude from the left to dust hth

    mensch-o-matic on
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    hipsters and bros are like stereotype antitheses

    no see hipster just means "people i am choosing to arbitrarily identify as a group and don't like"

    satansfingers on
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    hipsters and bros are like stereotype antitheses



    Never even considered that, but you're right. I'm sure you could understand my amalgamation of a general trying-too-hard-to-be-cool modern young person though, yeh? I mean, Bro, Hipster, douche, have at it as you will.

    Fosterdid on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    this is a completely run of the mill story of drunkenness and intoxication

    what is greatest about it

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    satansfingers wrote: »
    Koshian wrote: »
    hipsters and bros are like stereotype antitheses

    no see hipster just means "people i am choosing to arbitrarily identify as a group and don't like"

    Too true, Too true. I am guilty, certainly.

    Fosterdid on
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    so like, your avatar

    is that your fursona

    Tossrock on
    sig.png
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    World as Myth wrote: »
    this is a completely run of the mill story of drunkenness and intoxication

    what is greatest about it



    I was trying to catch the seat-of-my-pants vibe of running off as many details as possible before a blackout. No one wants to just supersede my story with a better story? Fuck every post I make gets lambasted for being pretensions :P (exaggeration)

    Although, admittedly, I am a fucking tardbag.

    Fosterdid on
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    World as Myth wrote: »
    this is a completely run of the mill story of drunkenness and intoxication

    what is greatest about it

    Maybe it was like, really good tequila

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Yes you are.

    Weaver on
  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Tossrock wrote: »
    so like, your avatar

    is that your fursona

    That was fast.

    Baroque And Roll on
    2dtr87s.png
    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I usually drink alone, actually.

    This one time I totally tripped while I was carrying a fresh beer and a little splashed on my shirt! It was epic, bro.

    Clint Eastwood on
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    wow im getting straight violated here by the forum regulars...

    Can I...Can I redeem myself?

    Ah fuck.

    K see ya I guess?

    Anyway, big fan of PA.

    GO HARD

    Fosterdid on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    my grandma could tell a better story than this

    we're not one-upping you because it's more fun to mock you

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I got drunk one time

    There were more times, but that time I was also drunk.

    Langly on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    langly you have got to be kidding me

    oh man fucking classic bro

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    You guys are some quick wits. Somebody get me a glass of water, the humor in here is DRY!

    Fosterdid on
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    C2H6O erryday

    Weaver on
  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I don't think you lurked long enough, bro.

    Baroque And Roll on
    2dtr87s.png
    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    This one time, I had a few beers and a really nice time with my friends

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    THIS THREAD

    GOING PLACES

    mensch-o-matic on
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fosterdid wrote: »
    You guys are some quick wits. Somebody get me a glass of water, the humor in here is DRY!

    Hey you.


    Shut up

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    granted I've never gotten drunk before so I don't have any stories

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    so is it your fursona or what dude, i'm on pins and needles here

    Tossrock on
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  • Chia MountainChia Mountain Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Foster, you gotta let your thread develop a life of its own, and check up on it in short bursts, you can't be nursing it the entire time someone makes a post.

    Chia Mountain on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Schlitz!
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    pics or it never happened

    Clint Eastwood on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I've never gotten drunk before

    mostly because of how self-conscious I am

    Centipede Damascus on
    bluesky/tumblr
    eZB497F.jpg
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    this one time i didn't get drunk and then i took a shower

    satansfingers on
  • IpseDixitIpseDixit Treat me like a pirate And give me that bootyRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    You see the thing is something interesting needs to have happened in order for this to be an interesting story

    Nothing interesting happened

    You didn't even get fired from work, which by the way you should have been. Showing up 4 hours late drunk going into a hangover is grounds for a firing no matter where you work

    IpseDixit on
    ipsesignew.jpg
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  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    satansfingers wrote: »
    Koshian wrote: »
    hipsters and bros are like stereotype antitheses

    no see hipster just means "people i am choosing to arbitrarily identify as a group and don't like"

    no

    that is not at all what it is

    I can pick them out of a crowd just as easy as I can pick out punk kids or juggalos or hippies

    where did this fucking theory get started

    I assume it was with some hipster who took offense to the term

    edit: also Mensch: yes

    MrMonroe on
    STEAM ID
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showpost.php?p=13616036&postcount=39

    Weaver on
  • FosterdidFosterdid Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    lol fuck me

    Fosterdid on
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