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The Foundation WANTS YOU (to register for D-Class duty)

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    SCP-0CP

    But it's too late. He's seen everything.

    Weaver on
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    JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Man, I don't know if the owl is hilarious enough on its own. Made me laugh though.

    Jintor on
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    HeavyVillainHeavyVillain Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    make it longer and stick a -j on it and i bet it'd go down pretty well actualy...

    HeavyVillain on
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    DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    So, this one is pretty cool:

    SCP-176

    Deicist on
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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2010
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    EEGs confirm full brain activity. No attempts to communicate with SCP-135 are to be made at this time.
    D:

    That's actually the line that makes it work, IMO.

    Orikaeshigitae on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Hmm, good stuff.

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
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    DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I like the body horror type ones the best.

    Like the beetle that turns you into a hive.

    DodgeBlan on
    Read my blog about AMERICA and THE BAY AREA

    https://medium.com/@alascii
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    skinny87skinny87 Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Edcrab, that would be a great joke SCP

    I'm looking for two SCPs I really liked reading about the last time I trawled the archives. One was a phone, I think, that when you listened to it sounds of torture came out? And there was a talking phone that you could ask, which replied in a sassy operators voice and might connect you to somewhere if it was in a good mood.

    Oh, and some kind of building that had to have a D-Class and/or researcher stationed there at all times as there was a door that opened and aliens came through and tried to negotiate with SCP personnel.

    skinny87 on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I think for the phones that's 145 and 519 respectively. I'd have to look into the building...

    Edcrab on
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    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Jintor wrote: »

    I like entry 51 in this.

    Synthetic Orange on
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    GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Oh my god...
    Entry 15: At 01:34 on █/██/2009, Professor Skali Sharpnose was seen entering into the air-processing area of Bio-Research Area-12. He seems to have distracted the guard by starting a conversation and subsequently performing some form of hypnosis (or simply being long-winded and boring) and lulling him into a sleep-like state. He then entered into the air-processing room and introduced a Class-3 airborne sedative into the sleeping quarters of Kain Pathos Crow. Security footage then shows Professor Skali entering into Crow's quarters wearing a gas-mask and carrying a large portable dog-kennel. He is seen leaving several minutes later and is able to exit the facility without arousing suspicions about the identity of the kennel's occupant. Apparently, most site personnel are simply unable to recognize Crow without his glasses. NOTE: Surveillance back-track of Professor Skali shows him several days earlier obtaining a cup of an unknown liquid from SCP-294, using the input "Amnesiacolada". It is believed that he administered this liquid to Crow while he was sedated. Upon leaving Bio-Research Area-12, Professor Skali drove to the nearby town of ███████, where he admitted Crow to the "Paws/Play No-Kill Animal Shelter" and scheduled Crow for a neutering surgery. SCP-050 awaited him on his desk when he returned to his office.

    Gatsby on
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    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Synthetic Orange on
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Jintor wrote: »
    Anybody got some spooky ideas for a metronome?

    At random intervals there is an irregular tick, either slightly too early or slightly too late. There is no pattern in the time between occurences, but it appears to happen less regularly when under intense observation. Inspection of the construction of the metronome reveals no irregularities in the mechanisms.

    Maybe not spooky, but pretty annoying.

    Rhesus Positive on
    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    AkolyteAkolyte Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    You know, I never understood people who would gripe over someone posting a TVTropes link because they just lost 4 hours reading. Now I do.

    Oh god, how I love this site. I can't even get mad about the last two days I spent reading, scratching my head and gasping in astonishment (not necessarily in that order.) The rigid structuring and deliberate [EXPUNGED] of the SCP articles works tremendously in it's favor and adds a great sense of mystery.
    Best one IMHO: 134 - The Star Eyed Child. It's mundane for the most part, what's weird about her is really weird and she's ultimately useless.

    My head is bursting with ideas for weird, useless SCP's right now. Gonna try to see if I can write something decent before I submit myself to that cumbersome joining procedure(and I thought those CAPTCHA things were bad)

    Akolyte on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    AkolyteAkolyte Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Oh, and
    Jintor wrote: »
    Anybody got some spooky ideas for a metronome?

    At random intervals there is an irregular tick, either slightly too early or slightly too late. There is no pattern in the time between occurences, but it appears to happen less regularly when under intense observation. Inspection of the construction of the metronome reveals no irregularities in the mechanisms.

    Maybe not spooky, but pretty annoying.

    Alternatively, make it tick simultaneously for everyone hearing it, regardless of the distance the sound has to travel or any delays suffered through broadcasting the sound.

    A universal beat. Replace beat with heartbeat for extra spooky.

    Akolyte on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Jintor wrote: »
    Anybody got some spooky ideas for a metronome?

    At random intervals there is an irregular tick, either slightly too early or slightly too late. There is no pattern in the time between occurences, but it appears to happen less regularly when under intense observation. Inspection of the construction of the metronome reveals no irregularities in the mechanisms.

    Maybe not spooky, but pretty annoying.

    Sorry, but that SCP is already present in the Patrician's Office, Ankh-Morpork

    Jintor on
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    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    People listening to the metronome become convinced that it is communicating to them in Morse code.

    Synthetic Orange on
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    JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I like the universal tick idea. Got to think about proper implementation. Well, technically I have to finish this legal essay first...

    Jintor on
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    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Instead of ticks it makes fart noises

    Synthetic Orange on
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    JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Unfortunately that is a bad idea, and I must force you into this pokeball.

    Jintor on
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    trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    DrBright wrote: »
    If I may comment on the application process, as I have seen it being discussed:

    There are multiple reasons for doing things the way we do. Once upon a time, we allowed any to edit the site, anonymous or otherwise, and that worked out badly for us. Feel free to look up 'Hagger' for instances. So, we had to make it wikidot members only.

    Then we started to have a problem with people creating things that were, well, just plain stupid. Or making edits to existing SCPs and completely ruining the effect. So, we decided to create the application process, to not only weed out the dumb ones, but to ensure that those we did get were both capable of working within a structure/ruleset, and to make sure that we're letting in people who actually want to contribute to the site, who will actually make the effort to look for the answers. As the man in charge of the applications, you'd be surprised how many people completely skip step five, despite my repeated requests that people not do this.

    All that out of the way, I'm quite pleased to see your interest in our site, and look forward to working with those of you who choose to join. If you have any questions, I'll be lurking in this thread to help answer them.

    (Yes, I am aware this all goes against my well polished 'asshole' image, but I've been working on that.)

    Dr. Bright, I did not notice step five. I will rectify this now.

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

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    AkolyteAkolyte Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Jintor wrote: »
    I like the universal tick idea. Got to think about proper implementation. Well, technically I have to finish this legal essay first...

    If there's anything I've learned reading way too much SCP it's this: When in doubt, add gross insects.

    So make it spawn an actual bloodsucking tick on someone for every tick they hear.

    Akolyte on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Cilla BlackCilla Black Priscilla!!! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    The tick of the metronome will, after listening to it for an unspecified amount of time, force the listener's heart to beat in tune with it regardless of physical activity. Anyone who has then been affected and leaves the sound range of the metronome has immediate heart failure.

    Cilla Black on
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    GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Hahahaha well I'll be damned, this is from Entry 35 of the Prank War:
    What followed can be bought for $9.99 from http://www.[REDACTED] in a censored format; an uncensored version is available from Dr. Coleman for $14.99. All proceeds will be donated to the Childs Play foundation.

    Gatsby on
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    The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    The tick of the metronome will, after listening to it for an unspecified amount of time, force the listener's heart to beat in tune with it regardless of physical activity. Anyone who has then been affected and leaves the sound range of the metronome has immediate heart failure.

    Unless they have a device that can mimic's tic


    or maybe a pacemaker

    The Black Hunter on
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    Sars_BoySars_Boy Rest, You Are The Lightning. Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    people within audible proximity of the metronome automatically start doing everything in time with it

    Sars_Boy on
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    Cilla BlackCilla Black Priscilla!!! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I do that normally anyway.

    Cilla Black on
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    trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    That would be weird, think of a place where everyone moves normally except for a 10ft radius where they go about their daily work in time to the metronome.

    trentsteel on
    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

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    GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Also make it so that the metronome actually makes no sound, that only the people within its radius can hear the ticking.

    Gatsby on
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    JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Oh man, there's the twist I was looking for.

    Imagine: a) the possibility of multiple copies of such a device, b) everything in time to the metronome, including breathing, blinking, and walking, and c) the metronome stopping

    Jintor on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    you know how some metronomes have a bar indicator?

    like you set it to 4/4 time and it goes DING doc doc doc DING doc doc doc DING

    When started, the metronome must be stopped between a ding and a doc, with the ding being the last sound created

    if it is not, the next time the metronome emits a ding sound, it emits and powerful sonic burst which breaks windows and bursts eardrums.

    #pipe on
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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2010
    Just sent my application off. I've got some ideas.

    Orikaeshigitae on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I would suggest something about a metronome that forces other metronomes in its proximity to sync to it

    but that happens anyway

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yysnkY4WHyM

    #pipe on
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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Man, everyone is pouring in

    Ori are you going to make a dashing muscular self-insert that everyone loves?

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
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    Sars_BoySars_Boy Rest, You Are The Lightning. Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    i really want to apply when i'm done with exams

    Sars_Boy on
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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    Man, everyone is pouring in

    Ori are you going to make a dashing muscular self-insert that everyone loves?

    Of course! He'll stop 110-Montauk once and for all and date 808 and 105 simultaneously.

    Orikaeshigitae on
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    JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    808's gone, Ori

    Jintor on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    he will punch the demon baby right out of 231-6's belly and she wouldn't even feel it

    then he'd make her pancakes

    #pipe on
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    Cilla BlackCilla Black Priscilla!!! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    But the pancakes would be so good they'll have to be classified as their own SCP.

    Cilla Black on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    they'll be topped with "best syrup ever" from 294

    #pipe on
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