Big DookieSmells great!Houston, TXRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
The summer before I left for college, I started selling knives to make a little extra money before leaving. You know those little turds that try to get into your house and sell you a $700 Cutco knife set? Yeah, that was me. I didn't know any better. Anyway, my VERY FIRST appointment, I was demonstrating how sharp our paring knife was by cutting through a piece of leather. The guy thought he'd be clever and brought me another piece that was like three times as thick, and being the fine salesman I was, I decided to show him who was boss. I put my thumb down on the leather to steady it and thrust the blade down with all my might.
You can guess what happened.
Blood, everywhere. Thankfully I'd set out a little cloth over his table for the demonstration, but it was messy. The guy freaked out, he just sat there on his couch with his hands on his head, swearing. I ran to the bathroom and cleaned it as best I could, realizing that I was desperately going to need stitches. At the same time, I also desperately needed money. So I of course went out and finished the demo with one of the dude's towels around my thumb, the guy just staring at me the whole time. Once I was done, I thanked him, gathered my things, and went straight to the hospital.
Two weeks later, I got an order form from him. He decided he wanted a pair of kitchen shears.
God people, always cut away from yourself! This is Bear Scouts 101. Need to take away all your whittling chips.
Oh, yeah, those pesky nouns. It was indeed a broad sword. I use broad swords for all sorts of things.
and by broad swords I mean butter knifes.
Jacques L'Homme on
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GRMikeThe Last Best Hope for HumanityThe God Pod Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
I nearly severed my left pointer finger using a butcher knife to cut the ears off of a frozen chocolate easter bunny when I was 10 years old. Sufficeth to say it wasn't my parents' most shining ER moment.
One time I nicked off a bit of the tip of my finger and nail using a mandolin slicer.
My wife's dad did that with a cheap mandolin slicer. Instead of putting the cucumber he was slicing in the guard he was just holding it by hand and wondered why he ended up losing most of the skin off the bottom of his hand and little finger.
SporkAndrew on
The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
One time I nicked off a bit of the tip of my finger and nail using a mandolin slicer.
My wife's dad did that with a cheap mandolin slicer. Instead of putting the cucumber he was slicing in the guard he was just holding it by hand and wondered why he ended up losing most of the skin off the bottom of his hand and little finger.
One time I nicked off a bit of the tip of my finger and nail using a mandolin slicer.
My wife's dad did that with a cheap mandolin slicer. Instead of putting the cucumber he was slicing in the guard he was just holding it by hand and wondered why he ended up losing most of the skin off the bottom of his hand and little finger.
I also was slicing a cucumber at the time.
Men think they know what to do handling phallic objects around razor edges.
SporkAndrew on
The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
It was my freshman year at art college. I was in the 3d sculpture workshop late at night on Halloween trying to complete my maquette for this thing called activity week. There was a bunch of people there working on similar things. This was mostly the metal work shop - welding, sautering, cutting etc. But there was a wood shop two doors down. It was a pretty good night - there was candy, halloween nonsense, and people making art.
So suddenly, in runs the wood shop safety monitor clutching his hand. Blood is going EVERYWHERE. I mean its like a movie. None of can see anything, and hes screaming murder. So everyone starts laughing. Man this halloween is awesome! Nice trick wood shop safety monitor. You nearly got us.
"IM NOT FUCKING JOKING"
Oh. OH FUCK. OH FUCK THREE OF HIS FINGERS ARE MISSING.
OH FUCK OH FUCK CALL 911.
Turns out he had severed through most of his hand with the bandsaw. There was blood everywhere and someone kept pressure on the wound while I helped him keep his hand elevated before the ambulance arrived. It was... interesting.
He fortunately got his fingers reattached with only a bit of stiffness after it healed. But I don't he ever really liked us after we laughed at his hilarious Halloween trick.
One thanksgiving my mother was cutting the turkey with an old electric knife.
I walked into the kitchken as she was taking the knife apart so she could wash it. She was tugging on the blades and it didn't register with me what the fuck she was doing.
I figured it out just as her hand slipped and she raked her hand down the blades.
She forgot to push the release button for the blades. So much blood. She refused to go to the hospital, and now doesn't have any feeling in one of her finger tips.
Not a great story, but a couple of months ago I sliced my finger on a friend's ceramic kitchen knife. Those fuckers are sharp. Sliced cleanly through the very tip of my thumb (mostly the dead skin) and barely felt it. It bled for a long time.
I've never had it too bad. The only one that sticks in my mind was cutting an orange when I was a kid. Slice through the orange, slice into my hand, in goes the citrus. I ate the orange.
On the Grimm's subject, I seem to remember in Snow White, the queen asked the mirror her question after she'd killed Snow White and was told about a princess who was fairer than she. Of course, this is the awakened and newly married Snow White. The queen goes to the wedding to check things out and gets recognized, so they put her in stone or metal shoes and make her dance herself to death.
First off, Gabe's face in the 3rd panel is the best.
Also I have never cut myself badly. Sure I've got nicks and scratches, but never anything deep or requiring stitches.
My mom has gotten one bad cut. She was doing the dishes and her hand was in this glass and it just sorta exploded around her hand while she was washing it. She's got this really long curvy scar now around her index finger. It needed stithes of course.
My dad though, oh man he's the worst. He does a lot of handy man stuff (installing cabinets, tile, etc.) and he's always used saws. And I have no idea why he isn't more careful, but not only does he have like a 2 inch scar across his forearm from when a fucking SAW BLADE cut into it (it is a badass scar tho) he is also missing the tip of his index finger almost up to his knuckle from, once again, a saw blade!
Lord_AsmodeusgoeticSobriquet:Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
I've never cut myself badly on my hands or elsewhere, but I always seem to get mysterious cuts all over my hands and I never know from where. Like it'll be the middle of the guy and I'll be typing and then I'll realize it hurts and then whoah where did all those cuts on my fingers come from.
Lord_Asmodeus on
Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if Labor had not first existed. Labor is superior to capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. - Lincoln
I kind of wish it didn't have the hybrid role-playing elements, really. I have friends who will play board games but would probably never want to go to the work of creating a character, and don't even have a concept of what an RPG is besides some vague notion about dungeons and dragons.
Still, it's always good to see the PA empire continue to branch out and expand, especially when it's one of the side stories getting in the spotlight. I eagerly await more details.
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After ten minutes of this, Gabe has to leave the room to avoid drowning in it
Satans..... hints.....
Queue quirky song
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Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
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Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
You can guess what happened.
Blood, everywhere. Thankfully I'd set out a little cloth over his table for the demonstration, but it was messy. The guy freaked out, he just sat there on his couch with his hands on his head, swearing. I ran to the bathroom and cleaned it as best I could, realizing that I was desperately going to need stitches. At the same time, I also desperately needed money. So I of course went out and finished the demo with one of the dude's towels around my thumb, the guy just staring at me the whole time. Once I was done, I thanked him, gathered my things, and went straight to the hospital.
Two weeks later, I got an order form from him. He decided he wanted a pair of kitchen shears.
Oculus: TheBigDookie | XBL: Dook | NNID: BigDookie
What spring does with the cherry trees.
Oh, yeah, those pesky nouns. It was indeed a broad sword. I use broad swords for all sorts of things.
Also, I was kind of a bastard of a child.
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My wife's dad did that with a cheap mandolin slicer. Instead of putting the cucumber he was slicing in the guard he was just holding it by hand and wondered why he ended up losing most of the skin off the bottom of his hand and little finger.
Definitely taught me the lesson of working with the tool pointed away from myself.
I also was slicing a cucumber at the time.
feet are like the hands of the legs, right?
Men think they know what to do handling phallic objects around razor edges.
It was my freshman year at art college. I was in the 3d sculpture workshop late at night on Halloween trying to complete my maquette for this thing called activity week. There was a bunch of people there working on similar things. This was mostly the metal work shop - welding, sautering, cutting etc. But there was a wood shop two doors down. It was a pretty good night - there was candy, halloween nonsense, and people making art.
So suddenly, in runs the wood shop safety monitor clutching his hand. Blood is going EVERYWHERE. I mean its like a movie. None of can see anything, and hes screaming murder. So everyone starts laughing. Man this halloween is awesome! Nice trick wood shop safety monitor. You nearly got us.
"IM NOT FUCKING JOKING"
Oh. OH FUCK. OH FUCK THREE OF HIS FINGERS ARE MISSING.
OH FUCK OH FUCK CALL 911.
Turns out he had severed through most of his hand with the bandsaw. There was blood everywhere and someone kept pressure on the wound while I helped him keep his hand elevated before the ambulance arrived. It was... interesting.
He fortunately got his fingers reattached with only a bit of stiffness after it healed. But I don't he ever really liked us after we laughed at his hilarious Halloween trick.
I walked into the kitchken as she was taking the knife apart so she could wash it. She was tugging on the blades and it didn't register with me what the fuck she was doing.
I figured it out just as her hand slipped and she raked her hand down the blades.
She forgot to push the release button for the blades. So much blood. She refused to go to the hospital, and now doesn't have any feeling in one of her finger tips.
Did it also teach you not to attempt the bullet catch anymore?
And I've handled sharp knives, and am certified to work in metal workshops with all kinds of saws, blades, and the like.
Sure, you get scrapes now and then, but those aren't cuts.
Hopefully I'll lose two fingers all at once in the near future to compensate.
On the Grimm's subject, I seem to remember in Snow White, the queen asked the mirror her question after she'd killed Snow White and was told about a princess who was fairer than she. Of course, this is the awakened and newly married Snow White. The queen goes to the wedding to check things out and gets recognized, so they put her in stone or metal shoes and make her dance herself to death.
Also I have never cut myself badly. Sure I've got nicks and scratches, but never anything deep or requiring stitches.
My mom has gotten one bad cut. She was doing the dishes and her hand was in this glass and it just sorta exploded around her hand while she was washing it. She's got this really long curvy scar now around her index finger. It needed stithes of course.
My dad though, oh man he's the worst. He does a lot of handy man stuff (installing cabinets, tile, etc.) and he's always used saws. And I have no idea why he isn't more careful, but not only does he have like a 2 inch scar across his forearm from when a fucking SAW BLADE cut into it (it is a badass scar tho) he is also missing the tip of his index finger almost up to his knuckle from, once again, a saw blade!
YES.
www.cryptozoic.com/games/lookouts-board-game.com
I think all high school table saws should probably have these installed. Or just all table saws in general.
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I kind of wish it didn't have the hybrid role-playing elements, really. I have friends who will play board games but would probably never want to go to the work of creating a character, and don't even have a concept of what an RPG is besides some vague notion about dungeons and dragons.
Still, it's always good to see the PA empire continue to branch out and expand, especially when it's one of the side stories getting in the spotlight. I eagerly await more details.