We have a new update on The Future of the Penny Arcade Forums.

Of Might and Wing, A MRE Guide: Dragons (dragon questions wanted)

13468918

Posts

  • CorporateLogoCorporateLogo The toilet knows how I feelRegistered User regular
    Well, creatures don't get much smaller or mundane than an ant

    Do not have a cow, mortal.

    c9PXgFo.jpg
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Typical forms so far discovered are creatures like rabbits, deer, birds of prey, and what not, depending on the time of day and location.

    Those clever pigeons? might just be a dragon.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    A man walks into a bar and orders a Fractious Dragon So the bar tender gives it to him

    146.jpg

    117.jpg

    Living in rocky hills and crags these coppery dragons love to set up pranks for any passer bys to witness. These are often elaborate (and sometimes fatal) but they never fail to bring a smile to the beast's face. Keen hunters, they tend to know their areas well, and will often leave these pranks as traps and early detection systems. If a simple traveller is caught in this fashion they will often be allowed to continue their journey, but less kind people are often met with a face full of acid.

    Tactics Advice: Stealth and cunning is key here, as well as common sense. Avoiding obvious traps and things that might be a trap are the key, but once forced into combat these dragons aren't necessarily the toughest charge— but these wily creatures likely have a back up plan.

  • YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Dear Dr. D Melding,

    I currently have a colleague working on a project where he is attempting to combine the traits of several dragons into one large "chromatic" beast. A rather nefarious plan I think. Should this situation go awry and my colleague be eaten, what sort of high tech weaponry would be best placed in a robot to help subdue and harness this beast.

    If this doesn't work out, what sort of weaponry would you recommend to dispose of the creature should it become a threat to my own designs?

    Sincerely,

    Dr. A. Wily.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Yukira wrote:
    Dear Dr. D Melding,

    I currently have a colleague working on a project where he is attempting to combine the traits of several dragons into one large "chromatic" beast. A rather nefarious plan I think. Should this situation go awry and my colleague be eaten, what sort of high tech weaponry would be best placed in a robot to help subdue and harness this beast.

    If this doesn't work out, what sort of weaponry would you recommend to dispose of the creature should it become a threat to my own designs?

    Sincerely,

    Dr. A. Wily.

    Dear Dr. Wily,

    I would recommend using a small team, of perhaps six to eight robots with unique weaponry designed to defeat each of the breath weapons of the different dragons used.

    However, I would more seriously recommend giving us the location of this project. This is not the first time someone has attempted this, and we need to put an end to it before it can grow out of control. This is a more serious threat then you might be aware. I however, can not go on record stating times such events have happened, let us just say all involved did not walk away unharmed.

    Still not a doctor,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    The knight in shining armour you never asked for, or wanted Cavalier Dragon

    27.jpg

    27.jpg

    Noble-intentioned to a disastrous level, these gold scaled dragons are at best a well meaning trouble maker of great power, and at their worst a misguided force of destruction. Bright and often even wise, it’s their understanding of human culture that fails them. Self-appointed protectors, they seem themselves as a parent of a people ignorant of their own power. This level of arrogance is not their best asset these days and often leads them into conflicts where their prescience causes more harm then good. With this in mind, fighting one of these creatures isn't the best tactic. Often explaining why they should stop is the best course. However once they swear Vendetta, you best have a defence ready.

    Tactics Advice: These fire breathing dragons are powerful creatures, adept on land, in the sky, and surprisingly even in the water. In their twilight years to rival even the best of the greater dragons. Only with keen weapons and tactics will you easily slay this beast.

  • Day of the BearDay of the Bear The Qun demandsRegistered User regular
    edited September 2011
    MRE what should I do about

    very small dragons?
    ww7Ka.jpg

    Day of the Bear on
    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    27236large.jpg

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    That's not how We did it when i was a young Imperious Dragon

    89.jpg

    Age_of_Storms_by_kerembeyit.jpg

    The overbearing grandfather of dragons. Though generally kind, these dragons seem to always know best. Although they don't typically go on the same crusades of justice that Cavalier dragons are so fond of, they are no less annoying. Living where they can literally look down on the world, they watch for instances where they believe they can be helpful, and then insist on solving your problem for you. Despite whether you want their help or not.

    Finding yourself fighting such a beast is rare, as they tend to be not very violent, however when pushed these silvery dragons unleash terrible blizzards, rivalling even mountain dragons in combat.

    Tactics Advice: Bringing equipment that can survive the transition from room temperature to freezing is the best idea. And note that Imperious dragons do not tolerate high or sudden heat very well. Your emergency flare gun might just come in handy.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Well, that's today's section.

    If you have any questions be sure to post them.

    I am all too happy to answer them.

  • ChimeraChimera Monster girl with a snek tail and five eyes Bad puns, that's how eye roll. Registered User regular
    I have a question that perplexes me and forgive me if you have already covered this. If one were to take the hide of a dragon and tan it into leather for use in light armor would it provide any special defensive abilities beyond normal leather? On top of that, with the dragons that scales and armor plating, how feasible would adapting those parts into a shield be and would it be worth the effort?

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dragon hide its self is a lot more durable then most leathers, so in almost all cases it would sturdier. It however it would be heavier, not incredibly so, but noticeably so.

    As for special properties, if treated properly they would retain all effects they had while still apart of the dragon, such as Mountain dragons extreme resistance to fire and heat. However it does not confer this to you. Or to other parts of the armour not made of the same material. However, it does tend to look awesome and is often a sign of status among dragon slayers. I myself have a pair of Tundra dragon boots, and a jacket made from the remains of my first swamp dragon kill.

    As for shields, it really matters on the type you want to use. Storm and thunder dragon scales have a very high resistance value for electrical current, most fire breathing dragon's scales can deflect flames well enough but convection is still an issue.

    In short, depending on how much you have on hand to use, it can be a good idea, and one that is visually impressive, but it is not too much better then the alternative sadly.

  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    my bestfriend told me that youll turn into a dragon if you slay one and eat its heart is this true??!??

    - Excited About Dragons

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    As a fully licensed expert in dracological husbandry, I

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    my bestfriend told me that youll turn into a dragon if you slay one and eat its heart is this true??!??

    - Excited About Dragons

    Dear Excited,

    In a word, "No".

    In a few more words, while dragon blood can have super natural effects on humans it takes a substantial amount more then that. And in fact would likely involve consuming several dragons worth of blood if you were to honest attempt such a thing. As well would require a long powerful ritual that if not performed correctly will end in your horrible, painful death.

    It is not recommended to attempt this, as even seasoned occultists have failed it.

    Killing the buzz,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE.

  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited September 2011
    my stomach hurts

    - Less Excited About Dragons

    Tommy2Hands on
    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Day of the BearDay of the Bear The Qun demandsRegistered User regular
    I think the real question is, who cares about eating a dragon's heart when you've got all that delicious dragonsteak on hand already?

    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    Dear Dr Melding,

    You have a great deal of advice for people who want to slay dragons.

    Do you have any words of advice for someone with more... romantic interests in these beautiful beasts?

    - "Excited" About Dragons

    broken image link
  • FlayFlay Registered User regular
    Dear D. Melding,

    Our small village was recently came under attack from a juvenile dragon and its subjects. Thankfully we were able to fend the beast off and few lives were lost, but I fear my engagement ring, which I was to present to my love only a week from now, has been claimed as part of the dragons hoard. The local council has moved to avoid provoking the dragon even more until we can find assistance, but I'm afraid the ring may be lost if I don't act soon. Do you have any advice for one who wishes to barter with a dragon, or on how to locate a hoard?

    Sincerely,
    D. Oxley

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dear Dr Melding,

    You have a great deal of advice for people who want to slay dragons.

    Do you have any words of advice for someone with more... romantic interests in these beautiful beasts?

    - "Excited" About Dragons

    Dear Excited,

    As of this time, it is recommended to not uh, do that. However if it is vitally important, I might be able to get you in contact with someone from the Monster Romance Council. They have a large collection of uh, shall we say, interesting techniques to romance the inhuman.

    Also i would recommend romancing an intelligent type, and a Garrulous one at that. Less likely if you nag then they will just devour you.

    Not as excited about dragons,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Flay wrote:
    Dear D. Melding,

    Our small village was recently came under attack from a juvenile dragon and its subjects. Thankfully we were able to fend the beast off and few lives were lost, but I fear my engagement ring, which I was to present to my love only a week from now, has been claimed as part of the dragons hoard. The local council has moved to avoid provoking the dragon even more until we can find assistance, but I'm afraid the ring may be lost if I don't act soon. Do you have any advice for one who wishes to barter with a dragon, or on how to locate a hoard?

    Sincerely,
    D. Oxley

    Dear Oxley,

    Attempting to recover objects from a dragon's horde is no simple task, even a master thief would have difficulty breaking in. In the long run, it would probably be wiser to buy a new ring. but this isn't the type of advice you want. The horde is typically located in the main chamber of the dragon's lair, so that it may lay with it and guard it at all times. and the path there is likely treacherous and laden with all kinds of traps. As well what ever minions it has will likely move to alert the dragon.

    Depending on the type of the dragon, how to bargain with it changes, but unless it's a forest dragon coming in with a large offer of food and an item or two worth more then the ring would likely be the best course of action, if you wish to try to barter it back. Keep in mind dragons are surprisingly astute about determining the worth of an object, attempting to rip them off is very hard and will likely get you killed.

    The final option is attempt to slay the dragon. Depending on what country you live in this could be easier then you might expect. Large calibre automatic rifles are the now go to weapon for easy dragon removal. Yeah, you're still probably going to lose a few people in the assault, but if the bulk of its followers are kobolds, you have very little to worry about.

    Including the name of a few good jewellery stores,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

  • MaceraMacera UGH GODDAMMIT STOP ENJOYING THINGSRegistered User regular
    Dear D. Melding,

    What's the scoop on drakes?

    Sincerely,

    M. Marsh

    xet8c.gif
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Macera wrote:
    Dear D. Melding,

    What's the scoop on drakes?

    Sincerely,

    M. Marsh

    Dr Marsh,

    Drakes will be coming up shortly, and probably tomorrow at this rate. The next section will be starting soon. The topic head will be put up in a few seconds, and then the first entry probably an hour or so after that.

    Assuring you we will get there,

    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Greater Dragons
    bigdragon.jpg

    Greater Dragons are to regular dragons what the Great Lakes of North America are to to regular lakes. They are bigger, more dangerous, and draining off to sea. Greater dragons are a large scale threat, often requiring military assistance to quell the situation.

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Dear D. Melding,

    why have dragons got a bad rep for guarding princesses? Is it based of true facts, or is it just poppycock?

    Yours, L. Iiya

  • HunteraHuntera Rude Boy Registered User regular
    Dear D. Melding,

    I have found an Imperious Dragon in the immediate area, how is it best to address them to obtain some meager wisdom?

    Yours, Hunter A.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote:
    Dear D. Melding,

    why have dragons got a bad rep for guarding princesses? Is it based of true facts, or is it just poppycock?

    Yours, L. Iiya

    Dear Iiya,

    Typically speaking, the myth is a bit, skewed. Typically the maiden, sometimes a princess, was an offering to the dragon to keep it away. Give it someone important and it will leave you alone. and the knight or what have you would come in and rescue her for, less the noble reasons. The only times we have on record, these are old records mind you, of dragons actually being employed as guards where when they were under the thrall of an evil wizard of some sort and the princess was to be a sacrifice or forced bride. Sometimes both.

    So in short, It's largely facts, covered in some shrewd story telling.

    Letting her hair down from the tower,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Huntera wrote:
    Dear D. Melding,

    I have found an Imperious Dragon in the immediate area, how is it best to address them to obtain some meager wisdom?

    Yours, Hunter A.

    Dear Hunter,

    Treat it like you would the scary old man who might be a nice hermit. Offer a gift, be respectful, and don't make any demands. Also be ready for a lot of stories that don't lead anywhere but make sense a few years down the road when you're doing something similar.

    Yelling at a cloud,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Goodness gracious, Great Fire Dragons

    ancient-hellkite.jpg

    damnitkevwalker.jpg

    Though arguably poorly named, these are still a relative to the regular fire dragon. If they were breeds of dogs, the Great Fire Dragon would be the English mastiff to the fire dragon's miniature pinscher. Varying greatly in size by age they are larger and stronger than most semi trucks, and able to produce flames that, appropriately enough, are hot enough to melt a semi truck. Where the regular fire dragon can devastate the countryside for a while, these can devastate entire counties with little effort. Luckily, they are largely just a predatory creature with no measurable higher intelligence and are easily out smarted— and felled by modern anti aircraft weaponry. That said, weapons lacking similar punch are largely ignorable by the Great Fire Dragon, and are best left at home.

    Tactics advice: Call in air support, ‘cause unless you have a greatsword of dragon bane, you are not doing much here today.

  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    Melding, it looks like it's coming along nicely.

    Glad I got to read it before it hit the threads, still terribly sorry I wasn't able to get to work on it.

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    s'cool. You were busy and what not. it happens. Even sometimes i get busy.

    Not recently, but it still has happened.

    Now i'm just hoping for input of what people want to see and what have you.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Commanding a high level of respect Emperor Dragons

    -dragon-wallpapers33-dragons-wallpaper-home-chinese-2-s-d-tattoodonkey.com.jpg

    chinese-dragon-wallpapers22.jpg

    Mostly based in China, this imperial dragon is a largely benevolent creature, but as is so often the case they’re devastating when angered. Commanding vast magics and with impressive psychical prowess, they are able to wage incredible fights on land, sea, and air. Luckily these creatures are both incredibly rare and open to discourse, willing to back down and surrender when it seems they may be out-muscled.

    Tactics advice: be more physically imposing than they are and bring counter-magic. It works, trust me.

  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Emperor Wang. Can. Can Wang.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    ..what?

  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    i...confused the word for dragon (long) with emperor (wang)

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    i see.

    That's just confusing.

  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Wang Yong is Korean for Dragon King. They are basically the same!

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Striking fear into all Tyrant Dragons

    137532_cn1.jpg

    mtg__furyborn_hellkite_by_cryptcrawler-d3jwo8v.jpg

    If Titans were dragons, you'd get something akin to this. Currently one has not been seen active, however scans of dormant, underground Tyrants reveals them to be massive in scale, even for dragons rivalling passenger jets. Very cautious testing of shed scales hints at a relation to many dragon types, leading us to believe that these are a great ancestor to dragons, and if they were ever to awake it would be Very Bad News. Currently, Titan Level counter-measures are being prepared in the event one awakens. Until that date, what we can report on these creatures is up in the air.

    Tactics advice: run and call everything you can for support. We aren't entirely sure what they can do, and we don't want to find out.

  • ChimeraChimera Monster girl with a snek tail and five eyes Bad puns, that's how eye roll. Registered User regular
    Dear D. Melding,

    Through my many travels through out the world I have come across many cultures that embrace both myths and truths based on dragons. Normally I am able to see through many of these but one rather well populated island I came across had quite the convincing stories that each of their emperors had been direct descendants of dragons.

    I ask you, what is the feasibility of these claims and if true, are their many instances of dragon born humanoids that pose as humans in an effort to rule over them?

    -Thank you in advance,
    Chimera

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Chimera wrote:
    Dear D. Melding,

    Through my many travels through out the world I have come across many cultures that embrace both myths and truths based on dragons. Normally I am able to see through many of these but one rather well populated island I came across had quite the convincing stories that each of their emperors had been direct descendants of dragons.

    I ask you, what is the feasibility of these claims and if true, are their many instances of dragon born humanoids that pose as humans in an effort to rule over them?

    -Thank you in advance,
    Chimera

    Dear Chimera,

    Such a thing isn't too uncommon, and back in prehistory, dragon-born humans were generally considered great beings. It wasn't until much later normal people turned against them. However, direct descendants of dragons have more then a tell tale sign of their heritage, and without such, it is likely either very far removed to the point of being not worth mentioning or just flat out a lie.

    There is the chance these days of surgically altered dragonborn perhaps, but they tend to be as prideful of their heritage as normal dragons, so the odds of this become lessened.

    Possessing no scales,
    D. Melding, Head of Community Outreach and Readiness, MRE

Sign In or Register to comment.