So former lurker blahblahblah
Anyway-I feel that this problem is more up the alley of SE++ than of H/A
I live in a suite-style dorm (4 people, 2 rooms, one bathroom) with two big jerks for suitemates. They continuously trash (and I mean TRASH...puke...beer bottles...etc...sometimes they clean it up...SOMETIMES) the bathroom and are just generally rude towards everyone on the floor. So since our "roomate contract" didnt actually stipulate that they cannot be removed for just being jerks, I have taken to retaliating in my own fashion
Both of them are "good ole boys" (read- very southern and homophobic) and after their latest escaped, which involved DELIBERATELY and WHILE SOBER spreading peanut butter and chocolate syrup around the bathroom, i was struck with inspiration during my botany class
It was right around Valentines Day (so like two weeks ago) and we were studying flowers in botany (awww). So I took all the rose petals that every group had to remove to look at the female reproductive organs and pocketed them. Later that day I snuck into their room through the bathroom (It connects the two rooms) and sprinkled the petals all over one of their beds, with a note saying "Happy Valentines Day *Mark! Love: James*" (not real names..I dont know why)
Needless to say, worked like a charm and they were confused and quiet for a few days.
All this is to provide backstory as to what I want to do now....they recently drew a vaseline bottle on their whiteboard with the slogan "Vaseline Gets It Done Right!" Now, since this isnt really anything but stupid and un-funny I want to write a snappy remark that is homoerotic in nature, but much more subtle ( so it takes them a few days while everyone else is chuckling behind their backs)
tl;dr- Jerkface unfunny homophobic suitemates need subtle homoerotic response to "Vaseline-Gets It Done Right!" written on door
That'll show them!
that's why i'm not posting a funny image here
YOU SUCK PENIS AND SWALLOW THE EJACULATE THE SPURTS FORTH IN A WHITE FOAMY SLOP OF JOY
That ought to do it.
Fortytwo's blog about fatherhood, life, and everything.
Yea, see I COULD...but wheres the subtlety in THAT?
I don't know man, slip them some date rape or something.
...This is why I don't hang out in H/A.
it's like you know my every move
Cmon man, you know the deal by now. Strip and rip.
Vote for my film! (watching it is also an option)
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what does that even mean
isnt that already a gay joke
I think I should.
gets them every time
I'm a headphone man myself.
"just ask Mark!"
I just bought headphones! Audio-Technica ATH-M30's, they're quite nice.
So now I'm looking to upgrade my speaker system, which right now is a Sony CMT-HPX9 Hi-Fi stereo system. Nice, but it's only stereo, not surround.
if you took one of them out to dinner, showed him a really nice time, slept with him and then never called him back
oh man that is coooold
This is immediately what I thought. It writes itself. Hi5.
I think it would be better if he wined him and dined him and then blew the other guy.
That'd show 'em.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Or just pose as a male stripper for his birthday.
Give him a lap dance he'll never forget.
Then you bang them over the head with a frypan and fuck them in the ass.
all tying him down and forcing the dance upon him, in spite of his muffled screams
oh i have ten boners just thinking about it~
So it is decided that I will go with this plan then.
Step two- where can I get a frying pan for....
....two dollars and thirty-two cents?
some rooms have that quad occupancy, but i dont, im stuck with my disabled roommate who stays on the phone with ugly girls til 3 am every night
i agree, hah.
Oh...um..I mean...not funny...
Hilarity ensues or your money back.
*"James" as in whoever the petals were supposed to be from.
It wasn't really supposed to be funny, but just to point out that he spelled "petals" incorrectly.