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Crusader Kings 2; Charlemagne vs Carloman, Fratricide 2.0
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Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
... you should really get the Republic when it goes on sale this week. Retinues = civilization.
Edit: I'm dumb. But, seriously, the Republic's pretty cool.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
A few thoughts:
-2.0 really makes vassal management more important at any time in the past. Since you basically get no troops from vassals any more (my retinues plus my own personal levies rivalled or outnumbered the amount of troops that I could raise from my mostly 100-opinion vassals). When the entire Islamic world decided to invade Spain, I just brought my Retinue stacks to fight them off. On the plus side, the AI rarely put together a stack over 20k, likely due to attrition concerns, while my 40k stack was able to destroy them and regenerate fast enough that it wasn't a major issue to suffer from attrition.
-Loss of the medieval marine corps hurts a huge amount when dealing with large numbers of enemy stacks. You can't just sail up and drop a stack on people, you need to land and march.
-The effective loss of PB and PABs is another kick in the ass. While I agree that a nerf was probably necessary, I think that they nerfed them too far. Or just in the wrong direction. I'm fine with the restrictions on numbers, I'm really annoyed that they can't be given duke level titles (though there's a way around that - if you're king and hold a duke level title above them, they'll still ask for the title and can be granted it via decision). I'm just annoyed that they can't border each other.
-While it's always a good idea to keep funds on hand, Ironman really punishes you if you don't. Oh dear god it can hurt.
-Cathar is wonderfully OP, in a balanced way. If you switch to Cathar, the Catholic church will hate you and want you to die. I had to fend off multiple Catholic Crusades for France, and it got slightly hairy facing down Aquitaine, Germany, Hungary Burgundy, Italy, and about 75% of Spain. Of course, I was basically doing it without any vassal support, because if I took their small and piddly support I'd just encourage factions to explode the moment that the war ended, but still. Once you switch to Cathar, the ability to put women into any major role is huge. You literally double your talent pool. And then, you can do things like invite women from other realms and use them in critical roles. See a 28 Martial spinster in Venice? Well, one simple marriage and religious conversion and suddenly you have a kick-ass Marshall that no one else even had the chance to recruit. The AI guards its men jealously, but it gives up women fairly easily.
-To deal with trying to keep my realm as tidy as possible, I focused on landing only family members. It worked out quite well in the long term; even at 1453, controlling most of Western Europe, most of my realm was still family. The upside was a huge number of possible choices for heirs thanks to elective (the Imperial title jumped around a fair amount between family branches) and a small but welcome opinion boost. Also, when one went to war for a foreign territory, they brought in more troops by far than I could muster myself. I was seeing 80k stacks besieging single counties.
-A strategy that became increasingly common for me was to locate genius/quick/strong/attractive family members from my many distant branches, educate them as GEs, and then land them in duchies to make them available as my heir. In this way I was able to ensure for the most part that I kept 25+ diplomacy rulers with a lot of positive traits on the throne. I used a similar strategy to locate family members with high martial skills, land them as Counts, so as to be available for me to use as troop leaders. Again, being Cathar was a huge, huge bonus here.
-I only assassinated one person all game, a Duke that had left my territory. I had no claims on him I could use, so I killed him; that opened up a usable claim. Unfortunately, I was caught, and had to commit suicide rather than have Kinslayer while all my vassals are kin.
-Event troops feel like they need to be nerfed to match new levy numbers.
-Going on a pilgrimage shortly after inheriting is pretty important. The positive traits you snag can be critical.
-By the end of the game, my game would nearly crash if I looked at the dynasty tree. I stopped looking in the 1370s, where I had something like 1500 living family members and over 11k prestige. It basically became complete unusable. Yeah, I totally owned the Karlings at the dynasty tree game.
-There were surprisingly few inbred people in my realm.
-On my initial character, Rhodri of Wales, I made the mistake of joining an ally's war against rebels in Aquitaine. Unfortunately, they were on the islands that are de jure Aragon. I had no ships. That war lasted for over 40 years, with the rebels never getting a ticking war score, and Aquitaine never sending out enough troops to end the war. I don't know what the final duration on it was (as soon as I died, I left the war) but I do know that that 40 year war that I never participated in any way meant that my king was never able to move succession off of Gavelkind. His successor's reign began in a somewhat tyrannical fashion. Just a wee bit of banishing everyone in the realm that held land. And hey, the banishing paid for the mercenaries to fight off the title claiming adventurers!
Shortest reign: King Pasgen of Wales, 717 score, ruled for 2 years, died at age 31.
Longest reign: Empress Enid the Great, 48981 score, ruled for 57 years, died at age 63.
Oldest at time of death: King Rhodri the Great, 1852 score, ruled for 37 years, died at 84. Of special note: he's the starting character.
Youngest at time of death: Queen Ffion of Wales, 507 score, ruled for 4 years, died at age 19.
Final score: 339570.
I'm currently expanding my Kingdom of Aragon into Muslim states to the south, but I find that even though the owners of that land have their allies highlighted in red (cannot join a war), they almost always do join the war with a non-fabricated de jure Casus belli. I'd understand if I was declaring a Holy War against them, but dudes with a single castle are calling in distant Sultans to send +7,000 men over to help with his defence. It doesn't seem right, so I might be missing something.
Looking forward to medium crown authority next generation so I can strip some titles off the locals!
So, my last post detailed how everything went tits-fucking-up for me, but what I love so much about CK is that even after suffering incredible setbacks you can still make a comeback. Unlike most other Paradox titles where you're pretty much screwed unless you're a savant level player (spoilers- I'm not).
As I said, everything went to hell, I lost it all, ended up playing as the brother to the defeated (and castrated!) King of Georgia, the King Who Bent-knee. I also mentioned how he still had his two daughters on track for matrilineality marriages. One to a prince of Byzantine the other to a prince of Bulgaria.
Well, through some more blunders and bad luck I ended up as the 'daughter who married a Byzantine prince path'.
For about 80 years or so it was chaos. Constant civil war in the Empire. Constant civil war and constant large scale intrigue. One head of the dynasty after another was assassinated, imprisoned, executed, or just generally defeated.
Then through some fucking miracle a seed of hope bore fruit and the wife of my former (now very dead) Duke became the freaking Empress of Byzantine. With her son (and my dynastic heir) second for the throne.
Crusader Kings though, she is a cruel mistress. The type of cruel that would dangle refreshing, life saving water just our of arms reach of a man dying of thirst.
Before I could kick off a plot to kill the Empress and inherit the world yet another civil war broke out. This one had more fucking sides then a diamond! It felt like I was simultaneously allied and at war with everyone. Having no freaking clue what exactly was going on I told my armies to go home and let the dice fall where they may.
And boy did they fall!
After the dust settled I ended up as the independent Duchy of Albania with my cousin (who was of the Bulgarian prince line) the independent Duchy of Karlti.
Just like that the two halves to form the Kingdom of Georgia were free and within reach. Or so I thought.
Turns out the Bulgarian prince line also bore some long awaited fruit and through some sort of dark magic the cousin inherited a rather large Duchy in what is the tattered remains of Bulgaria.
The cousin declared war for Albania and I simply gave it up (for the Greater Good).
Thankfully, the cousin was merciful and allowed me to keep my lands and titles.
Now the Kingdom of Georgia is reborn for the first time in over a century and we are on the warpath!
Weee!
It's possible that they've changed the war-joining AI-logic in this patch. Even if they have, getting 100% of the target's lands sieged and his own armies destroyed should end the war - it'll hurt, but that's what mercenaries are for, right?
In my experience Holy Wars are very situational and in most cases are probably more trouble then they are worth.
If you are trying to Holy War your way in to purely Muslim territory then you're going to get pretty much every Muslim lord after you. Vice versa applies as well.
Now, say there is a Duchy or what-have-you and all around them are people not of their religion then that is the time to use Holy War. At least IMHO.
I have a new appreciation for Holy Orders, especially when some Muslim has the gall to make a claim on my Kingdom. When that notification pops up all I see is a rain of gold after I crush them into dust
@Axen, that's what's weird - I'm not declaring Holy Wars (the idiot over at Castille keeps embroiling himself in those). This is just a straight-up de jure Casus belli and they're calling in allies that, if I were to try, I wouldn't be able to do.
Could all those who join in be Kin?
Not sure if it was changed in a patch or if it was always like this, but I notice that no matter how distant the relation as long as they are Kin it counts as an automatic alliance and with the way people spread there genes all over the place like some sort of seedy champagne room, it wouldn't be a big surprise if they were all allied that way.
Hell, I've declared war against Kin numerous times only to have a 'Call to Arms' from them not a month later (and to have them answer my call).
edit- Oh and it doesn't show up on the Diplomatic view or anything.*
*That is to say, if you try to see if they are allied it won't look any different, even though it counts as an alliance. Like, I can call my Cousin in on a war, but if I look at the Diplomatic relations view he is just a normal color to me.
Whelp, the things I do for love.
Republic is very cool. I'm not sure if it happens without DLC, but a Doge can approach you for your daughters or granddaugthers hand in marrige. If you happen to be reasonably well placed (i.e.: a king) and the women themselves quite skilled, it can be a very lucrative practice. The highest amount I earned by flogging off a daughter was 202 gold. Her older sister was already the Queen of France so I didn't really need any more big-ticket allies as I'm able to handle the Muslims to the south fairly easily.
That's not mentioning how much fun being a Grand Prince/Supreme Doge can be. I had a family feud with House Sträben that lasted centuries and was consistently hilarious. Here's the story
Shadowhope I stuck you in first place so whenever you're ready sirrah.
Wow.
Or perhaps I should say oy vey.
That was not an easy start.
I lost a lot of big wars, my successor is going to have a huge sword of Damocles or three hanging over their head (an important truce expiring, a planned adventurer invasion on the way, and some nasty faction problems) but I won enough small wars that the next person is probably, probably in a better spot than when we started.
Oh, and Kiev is now the capital of the Jewish state.
I'll have a write-up done and save file ready after work today.
Hmm...this story makes me want to try out a Republic start. I've never done that before. I've done the Irish start, I loved playing Norse, but I've never played yet as what I'm guessing is a Merchant House.
I guess I should look into how best to start one, just to so I have some familiarity with how it plays differently than the normal game.
I was able to conquer the southern most provence in Ireland easily enough with my de jur claim. Then plotted to revoke his title, which worked in a way i suppose. The guy revolted, with his army of 70 men. So he was crushed, but my army wasnt big enough to seige the capital, so i had just enough gold to hire a small band of mercenaries, putting me over the top and claiming the provence for myself.
After letting my levie strength build back up, and fabricating a claim on the one county kingdom above me, i was able to quickly roll over that guy too. I have a guy in my court with claims on 2 more counties in Ireland, so im going to use those next then start invitng whatever claimants i can to the court. My military guy has a skill of 17, so hes been a huuuuuge asset.
During this whole string of conquest i married both me and my heir and so far ive had 2 daughters and hes had a son. I also managed to shack up with my cousins wife, that i set him up with (19 intrigue) and she gave birth to my bastard daughter, but the poor sod thinks its his! Hes 62 and his bride is 38.
This whole affair weighed heavy on my monarchs soul, but he didnt like his wife that well and became lustfull. My wife (the princess of Norway) is pissed and is plotting to kill my lover. Ill let the chips fall where they may. After all, someone must preserve the sanctity of marriage.
My spymaster is a probelm. Mostly because they keep dying. Im on my 3rd in 6 years. The current one has a skill of 11. Blech. How can i get some new talent in the stable?
Edit: Also on topic regarding the new patch my only real annoyance is that the adventurer armies don't seem to have been rebalanced based on new levy size. I was the king of West Francia, with Normal Levies, Medium Crown Authority and good vassal relations and a random adventurer rolled in a doomstack I was barely able to crack even with my vassal & demesne levies, retinues and mercenaries.
Which, naturally, left me vulnerable to the King of Lotharingia to roll through me (I think he was an uncle or something of mine, hard to tell with Karlings).
I got knocked around a bit and an heir ended up in Castille. I'm going to try to do less improvements and no dukes and plenty of money for mercenaries and I'll see how I do.
Best bet with spymasters, though it can be time-consuming, is to find a heir to somewhere else who'll accept an invite to your court, in my experience. He's probably not mad at you yet.
Da fook?
Just demand religious conversion
In fact, my Queen got pregnant and gave birth on the battlefield.
Mind you, I stick to playing Ireland, so although people hate me, the distance is too far for anyone to announce holy wars on me.
WoW
Dear Satan.....
Both bishops are sitting in my dungeon. Is this a diomacy option through the standard menu?
It was real weird. I had them both doing religious tech in my capital when it happened. They had some very "interesting" books to show me.
Also odd thing to note; an antipope was put in place the first week of game time. Havent kept up on that. Maybe i should look into it. Its only 1078... So 12 years in.
5 irish counties under my control.
My one vassal died and his sole son took his county. The boy was 5. Plotted to take that title away post haste. Conquered him to make 4. I had swapped to whatever the P inheritance option was, so i gave my only son that county.
Then i fabricated claims on yet another county. The far north one next to scotland. Crushed the 8 year old girl in charge and took that for number 5. Paused there though. Gotta give it to someone.
Had an event where a traveler told me tals and left me a eunuch as a present. Guy had 20 stewerdship! So he got a nice position.
My affair really affected my poor wife. She ended up needing some time at a convent or something. This prompted me to let the affair wither away. Then she ended up hating me, so i decided enough was enough. Shes popped out 4 daughters including a set of twins. I guess she served her purpose. I started a plot to kill her. I had plenty of backers to boot. So she was soon poisoned. Unfortunitely, europe seems to be a baren wasteland for brides currently. Plenty of 9 and under, but nothing remotely attractive thats of birthing age.
I did press a claim for a guy in my court. Won the quick war and the guy was put in as Earl. Now i thought when i did this, he would become my vassal since im a petty king. Is this not the case?
Heretic! A woman's place is in the bedchamber. . . or Constantinople trying to drum up some tech.
When pressing someone else's claim they will only be your vassal if:
1) They are from your dynasty
2) You are the De Jure liege of the titles that you are pressing the claim for.
3) The person whos titles you are pressing is already your (landed)vassal and the titles they are getting are lower than your own.
Im really liking plots.
The bar event is by far one of the most fun "improve a skill," ones, though the Diplomacy and Intrigue ones with more than one choice involved are pretty entertaining too.
Personally I've noticed way fewer people from Hindustan appearing in my court and an awful lot more Jews since installing Sons of Abraham. I wouldn't mind except that the Jewish folks tend not to be talented Stewards and I'm looking for one more often than not. Wales has been something of a military state for most of its existence in that game.
He’s a lot of things. Twenty-four years old. A cruel, ambitious man. A chaste, charitable man. An aggressive commander. And he’s a Jew. In game terms, that means exactly one thing: everyone is out to get him. The Christians. The Moslems. The Tengri. The Norse. Everyone. He has no allies. He sits on his throne at the edge of the known world, and threats lurk in every direction. He is a cruel and ambitious man, but he is such a man because that’s the sort of man that he needs to be to escape the shackles of history and ensure that the Jewish faith can one day proudly rule over Jerusalem, to ensure that the Third Temple can be rebuilt, and to ensure the freedom, safety and dignity of the Lords own Chosen people.
Manasseh rules Khazaria, an enourmous but sparely populated land of wide open fields under the sky. To the south we have the Georgia, and south of them we have the Byzantine Empire, and beyond them the Arab world. While the Byzantine Empire does not possess its strength of old, it remains the most formidable of powers. To the north and to the easy are the Tengri tribes: the Yagbuid, the Pechenegs, and the dread warriors of Comania. They follow the old ways, and hate Manasseh and his people for deserting them to follow the God of the Book. To the west are the Slavic tribes, fierce heathen warriors that respect neither the Cross nor the Crescent, who will neither offer nor accept quarter.
Manasseh’s stats are randomly generated every time you start a new game. As a result, by restarting a few times you can mix his abilities up a bit, and get good starting stats. In my case, I decided that it was important that he be able to fight. I settled on a version of him that had the Brilliant Strategist training; this meant that he gets a huge bonus to his leadership on the battlefield, as well as small bonuses to Stewardship and Intrigue, and a penalty to Learning. He also gets a small health bonus, meaning he’s less likely to be killed by illness or wounds; it’s almost always a good thing to have a bonus to health. Almost always.
He starts the game married and with a son; at this point, the smart thing to do would be to make him his son’s own tutor. That would help ensure that his son received positive traits and a quality education – not doing that could result in the son having terrible stats and a poor education. As well, by educating a child you gain a substantial opinion bonus from the child, meaning that they’re much less likely to plot against you. In another decision that had far-reaching unintended consequences, I neglected to reassign Manasseh as his son’s tutor.
I did remember to set his ambition to be Exalted Among Men. Would he achieve that? Read on!
January 867. The fierce tribal warriors of Pecheneg are the first to declare war on Manasseh, moving thousands of troops across the border. Shortly after that declaration of war, the Yagbuid attacked as well. Manasseh has at his command 2585 warriors. With the changes to how vassal levies work in version 2.0 of Crusader Kings 2, vassals gain an opinion bonus while you’re under attack, and with that opinion bonus you get more troops from them.
The obvious play would be to try to fight the invading troops. Instead, I marched west. After Hungary forms, the counties that they come from split off into independent provinces. I declared war on each of them, one at a time, using all the troops available to me. Meanwhile, the invasions against me continued apace. I sat back and let them, ignoring that they had taken half of my country. I waited as long as possible before settling for peace, surrendering, to ensure that the truce would last end as far into the future as possible.
The goal I set myself was to reach Kiev. The reasons come down to geography and long term potential. The empires to the south, Christian and Muslim, are just too powerful to take head on at the moment. Even if the Khazars get lucky and arrive while the other side is busy with one of their many civil wars, the empires will invariably recover and generally take back the lost ground. To the north and east are the Tengri tribes, and they're too strong to take head-on (without using questionable tactics). To the west is Hungary, and they're monstrously powerful in the 867 start. That left a break to the northeast, towards the pagan tribes, and the dozens of small warring provinces waiting to be taken.
During this time, I'm also accumulating gold. It actually gets to the point where I could have potentially hired mercenaries and fought back, but I decided that it was too dangerous a move. Even with mercenaries, the odds would be close to even - and a fair fight is to be avoided in CK2. Fair fights are for people who don't mind losing or who have nothing left to lose. I wasn't in that position, so I kept attacking the Tengri on the west of my realm via Holy Wars.
It's important to note: calling those Holy Wars causes the other nearby Tengri to join in. It's absolutely critical to end the war as soon as possible. Assaulting fortifications isn't quite worth it, given the troops available, but it's important that there's no wasted time chasing troops. If they offer battle, excellent. Otherwise, I just focused on taking the province as quickly as possible.
In 870, I ended the war with the Pecheneg; that had an army in Chortitza that would have attacked my army as I moved north to conquer more one-province counts. In 873, I ended the war with the Yagbuids, The new updated map looked like this:
I hired mercenaries at this point. Conquest and gold from my counties had earned me just over 400g, and I hired the Alan Riders. The reason I chose them was threefold. Firstly, at 105g with a 9.75g monthly fee, they were relatively cheap. Secondly, they have Horse Archers. For those new to Crusader Kings II, understand this: Horse Archers are without a doubt that single best unit in the game, bar none. Thirdly, while the Alan Riders and the Pecheneg Band have exactly the same troop composition and cost, the leader of the Alan Riders at the time I hired him was 17 martial, while the leader of the Pecheneg Band was 9 martial. Comparison shopping for mercenaries can pay dividends.
With those mercenaries, I wiped out that revolt for the Tengri faith that you see there, and resumed my push to the north east. One of the Pagans attacked me, and was smacked down for his impudence.
Looking at potential targets, it was like this all the way to the Baltic Sea.
It was in 875 that I realized that I wasn't tutoring my son. Prince Nisi was 15 years old, still an only child, and would be a man soon. I took up his tutoring myself, and he turned into a decent enough heir. Like his father, he's a Brilliant Strategist. He's cruel and gluttonous, but also patient and diligent. And most importantly, he's a cavalry leader. This makes him a fantastic choice to lead troops to victory.
There were few women to select from for Nisi to marry, and as only heir it was important that he marry young. A woman named Maturkka became his bride; though she was 24, she was lustful and a charismatic negotiator, giving her a good bonus to fertility.
Of course, there's just one downside to being a good commander and being a king, and Manasseh encountered it in 876.
Seeking to take advantage of Manasseh's inability to raise troops, unhappy with his leadership, a major rebellion erupted with little advance warning. Two counts and a duke revolted, seeking to lower crown authority, and Manasseh was forced to put the rebellion down. In putting down the rebellion, Manasseh suffered a crushing blow to the head and became incapable. Now, with most rulers incapable lasts only a few short months. That is in large part because they become old first, and then incapable. Manasseh was a young brilliant strategist, so he had a bonus to his health. Despite being incapable, he stubbornly refused to embrace the sweet release of death.
His son became Regent, and worked tirelessly to fulfil his fathers goals.
Perhaps not.
In any case, Kiev was conquered, and the capital was relocated there. Shortly thereafter, some real men arrived to convert the new capital of the Jewish homeland to Judaism, and they brought their Khazar culture with them.
In 881, Bulgaria weighed in to attack the Jewish nation. Wars with the various pagan states had weakened the mercaneries supporting Manasseh's kingdom, and I was forced to hire the Pecheneg Band and the Cuman Band. While they would be disastrously expensive at full price, the casualties that they had suffered kept their monthly price conveniently low. The defeat of the invading Bulgarian armies and besieging their holdings in Moldau. Nisi's combat skills were invaluable here, leading the Jewish troops to easy victories over the invading Christians.
Despite being a babbling idiot incapable of washing himself, Manasseh was doing OK at the start of June 883. Khazaria's borders little resembled the borders of a decade previous, but his people were by nature nomadic, and they were moving into a land of milk and honey and petty kings ripe for conquest. His armies continued to take land for the Khazar state, and word from the front was that his son was winning a great battle against the pagans - with success in that battle he would be able to force yet another pagan to bend the knee to the Jewish nation. Life was not good, but perhaps it was almost tolerable.
Yes, as the day dawned on the 2nd of June, 883, the word from the battlefield was good. His son was winning a great victory!
And perhaps the Khan might recover in time? God could work whatever miracle he so chose, could he not? To show His power and mercy by restoring Manasseh to health, would not that be a great thing? Was not Manasseh the greatest servant of God active in the world? Surely God might take pity on Manasseh, and heal him and lift him up to greatness once more.
Or perhaps not.
And so ends the story of Khan Manasseh II. It began in fire and blood and war, and ended with defecation in a bathtub.
Things are going to be pretty open for my successor. I decided not to divvy up my growing demesne after the incapable status hit, because I expected to die any day. As a result, it kept growing, and it's currently eight provinces. Once the ongoing battle finishes, the war score should hit 100% and another province (Turov) will be added. I'd recommend keeping Kiev as the capital (a massive seven holdings, it's capable of being the best possible troop producer in the game), and I suggest Korsun (five holdings), Pereyaslavl (six holdings), and Chortitza (four holdings) as the ideal additional provinces to round it out the demesne. But Oleshye (six holdings) is also probably worth keeping, especially since it has ports, meaning that it can have coastal cities, meaning it can be a great gold producer.
Nisi himself is 23 years old, is sitting on a good pile of money and has mercenaries currently hired. He's probably going to want to ditch his current wife (she's 31 with low stats), but she's provided him with a son already, so for the moment succession is secured. Also, it was his plot to kill his father (remember what I said about not tutoring your child? Yeah...), but he doesn't seem to have gotten Kinslayer.
There's a truce with Bulgaria for the moment (they're also going through a civil war, so might even be a decent target for expansion). Pechenegs has essentially eaten the eastern half of Khazaria, but lacking event troops they might be a valid target for a mercenary-supplemented army. Manasseh's goal of driving north east to the Baltic promised land is still quite viable as well. A whole world of possibility awaits.
I wish that I could say that the world itself had taken a few interesting or unexpected turns, but the closest thing to that is that Denmark is about to unite itself. Otherwise, borders are practically their standard 868 borders (i.e. after the Viking invasions have had time to do their things).
Next year, in Jerusalem. . .
Next up: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/77384285/Khazaria883_06_02.ck2
Also, how on earth do I get land away from a mercenary company. I've had de jure claims on a county controlled by them and I can't declare war on them.
Might be time to take some of those holdings back.
I went from being the Earl of Hereford and Warrick to being King of Jerusalem. And then one of my daughters became Queen Julia the Confessor and fought off the muslim jihads, took back the entirety of jerusalem, and then also won the Andalusian crusade. I think I will free Andalusia, but the big issue is that my queen has had 7 daughters and no sons.
Of all the things I expected, this was none of them. Well played!