The Ashes: Episode 67 - The Empire Strikes Again.

bsjezz

bsjezz

session 1: the poms wrestled momentum back in the last minutes before lunch by claiming the wicket of shane watson. though rogers fell early, it was looking favourable for the aussies for much of the session, with warner in form and contributing most of the 71-run total. but it was stuart broad's second wicket that felled watson and the dangerous paceman will return from the KFC break with a lot to be confident about.

Hermano

Didn't we just have one of these bloody things? If we win again I'm worried the country will reach dangerous levels of insufferable smugness.

Tef

That's a good op, hoss

(Pietersen is a wanker)

bsjezz

Hermano wrote: »

Didn't we just have one of these bloody things? If we win again I'm worried the country will reach dangerous levels of insufferable smugness.

yep. for those who are uninitiated, cricket is played in the summer and the ashes in alternating hemispheres, and since the teams tend to like playing other teams from time to time, that usually means this competition is held every 18 months, rather than every 6. this time though we're playing twice in one year, which could be considered overkill. but the last series actually was very entertaining, despite the australians perpetually being on the back foot. and the rain.

of course that one didn't really count anyway, since it was held in the weird sorta pretend summer that happens in july. december summer's where it's at.

bsjezz

mein gott. broad takes rogers, warner, watson and clarke in not much more than a session.

bring on mike hussey to save the day wait what

Hermano

So when did you all forget how to play cricket in the colonies then? Dearie me

Tef

Fuuuuuu

Tef

What's punter doing now? The Waughs maybe?

bsjezz

sinking schooners at the members bar and loving every second, i'll wager

Nechriah

Cricket is the one sport I have any real interest in, mostly because my dad loves it and we don't have a lot of dovetailing interests, so watching the cricket together is our father/son time thing.

I am currently watching it by myself though because Dad is also a tremendous baby if his team is losing. He stormed off in a huff and said that he was going "for a drive" an hour ago. He hasn't come back yet.

Donovan Puppyfucker

We've had it so good for so long, it's about time we let some other countries win some cricket matches for a while.

bsjezz

for me, criket and ice hockey are the two greatest sports, but they're very different. ice hockey stresses me the fuck out, and i do get angry about it. cricket i tend to watch more analytically, digest more slowly, and can perhaps even appreciate more eagerly the skills of the opposing team. of course i'd love to see the aussies win this series, but i can look at a game like this right now and still watch it happily in the knowledge it'll be a great game even if the odds of a wagging tail or such a crushing attack of our own are unlikely.

bsjezz

one thing that's so great about the aussie team - and we're seeing it this arvo - is how greatly improved the lower order's batting has been. agar's 98 on debut is a fine example: whatever you say about the current development system, they're really managing to bring in bowlers who can significantly contribute to the scoring. i love watching guys like johnson play, he's technically great and because the pressure is low he's able to rack up some massive totals.

you can't rely on it, of course, and that's why we've been losing. but it's almost more fun to frustrate these guys with the 7th wicket partnership than it would be to put a tonne or two on with the openers...

bsjezz

wow lyon on a hat-trick. CAN HE DO IT?

(no)

Bogart

I just woke up. WAT? Six wickets for nine runs this is bullshit.

Were England terrible or were Australia amazing?

bsjezz

australia played very aggressively, johnson went with some real bodyline stuff. but you can't excuse the collapse. carberry and broad were the only two batsmen who ever looked settled.

bsjezz

howzat

Muddy Water

It's kinda weird how there is no good, consistent team in cricket right now, except maybe South Africa. India annihilated Australia two months ago and are now getting the same treatment in South Africa. Australia, after losing 0-4 to India, are now destroying the English, who had defeated the same Australian side 3-0 not six months ago. Nobody's got any momentum.

SCREECH OF THE FARG

I've been playing a lot of the ashes cricket game so I feel ready for this

Aegeri

That's because cricket is a mental game as much as it is anything else. England's destruction began in the previous Ashes series when they couldn't always put Australia away despite how bad the Aussies were.

Also that Mitchell Johnson is actually bowling at pace regularly has been a huge difference. England's batting hasn't been good for a very long time, such as their dismal defeat to Pakistan not long ago.

Vivixenne

so I take it folks here saw the 4 wickets within the space of 30 runs?

was it all within 2 overs? I think it was

that shit was bananas

bsjezz

i was reading cricinfo when watson got out in the aussie's second innings and i just couldn't comprehend the description. "it was a sitter? dropped, you say? the ball did what?" i still haven't properly seen the wicket but i almost rather it that way, an infamous and elusive out that will live on in legend only...

(also missed bailey's 28 in that session. damn work.)

Donovan Puppyfucker

Vivixenne wrote: »

so I take it folks here saw the 4 wickets within the space of 30 runs?

was it all within 2 overs? I think it was

that shit was bananas

Ha ha ha, wickets!

Runs!

Overs!

You are the most 'Strayan.

Vivixenne

except those terms are not exclusive to Straya!

Junpei

Indeed, you could be a Saffa, which would be much better.

Donovan Puppyfucker

Vivixenne wrote: »

except those terms are not exclusive to Straya!

Well yeah, but no-one else is any good at the cricket, especially not the South Africans.

Tef

Errr...

Blake T

My favourite joke about this series ashes is:

It's seem ironic that Broad broke his toe. The guy that would never walk now can't.

Junpei

Don't worry Chris, I can wait until Feb to bring this all back up again.

Donovan Puppyfucker

Tef wrote: »

Errr...

SHUT UP I AM LIVING IN THE EARLY 2000s OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE WE'RE THE BEST EVER.

Muddy Water

Did anybody see the India-South Africa match? Man, what a sham. 447 overs of amazing Test Cricket followed by 3 overs of complete farce.

Junpei

Steyn just giving zero fucks as he swings like a baseball player

Donovan Puppyfucker

Junpei wrote: »

Steyn just giving zero fucks as he swings like a baseball player

He's got #yolo #swag

The Black Hunter

I'm still practising maths to prep for uni.

I put it off for a long time, but finally taught myself long division. If I were to pick one moment where my future took a most terrible turn it was year 7 or 8 maths when long division was introduced. My academic flourishing took a high powered shot to he head and I dedicated the rest of my time until year 10 to drawing animal gangbangs and murder robots. In year 12, I had finally caught back up, I was on the right track, I had pulled myself from my bizarre academic grave and was prepared to conquer mathematics once again.

Then we got an indian substitute teacher with a very thick accent, who didn't typically teach math, for 2 months.

Then it was all animal murder and robot gangbangs

EDIT: Oh hell yeah I just realised why fractions were invented. I solved -0.5 x -8.6 on paper via the magic of numbers separated by little bars. I am Mathlord