The 5th Annualish [Phalla] Awards



  • premiumpremium Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    Every single phalla up for vote today is memorable to me. I really hate to pick one, but I'll have to go with Deadlands

    For player I think I'll go with ObiFett. When he's hot he is hot, and when he's not he's still a very smart player.

    I am honestly surprised that my phalla is getting any votes at all, considering it was my first attempt at a main. I hope you guys like what I have planned for you in 2014.

    premium on
  • AuralynxAuralynx Darkness is a perspective Watching the ego workRegistered User regular
    Invictus wrote: »
    This is pretty brutal, so for best player, I think I'm going to narrow it with one simple concern: there were two most impressive performances, to me, this year. They were:

    1) CesareB in MrT's organized crime phalla, which is the most fooled I have ever been in a phalla, no exceptions, and

    2) ObiFett in Dwarf Phalla, when he was dead to rights on the last day but had carefully laid the groundwork such that despite an intent and intelligent opposition, still managed to sell a bullshit story to the one person he needed to sell it to.

    I am compelled by both sides, but I think CesareB ekes it out, not least because I am self-centered enough to be particularly impressed by the fact that it was me he fooled.

    On best main, for me, I think it comes down to Phallance and Dwarf. I think it comes down to comparing, in Phallance, an impressively complex set of mechanics that nonetheless were accessible and balanced enough to give rise to an excellent game to, in Dwarf, a set of elegant, though perhaps less creative mechanics, that produced a truly superior game in these exact circumstances.

    ugh. when I put it that way, it's hard not to vote for Dwarf Phalla, despite my real love for Phallance and complexity.

    EDIT: i had the tag reading <color=dwarf> instead of gray. hmmm...

    And you still managed to get the color-coding backwards!

    Been keeping hydrated Dwarf-style?


  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    Narration in a Few Hours

  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    There were Seven of Them:
    • The Admiral
    • The Jedi Bounty Hunter
    • The Man Lost to Rage
    • The Mechanical Man of Mayhem and Merriment
    • The Rogue Grill Cook
    • The Duke of Valentinois
    • A Turtle
    They had gathered for one purpose .... to stop Master Assuran before it was too late.
    The Beginning of the End

    The Chrono-Necromancer Assuran had plans to travel back to 1877 and transform the Wild West into an undead wasteland before the forces of good even came into being. Normally such a plan would be thwarted by the likes of Jedi and various talking animals, but this time the Chrono-Necromancer had friends from high places. The mystical talking falcon and his friend the hip-hop cat had lent their talons and claws to his cause. Along with B.A. Baracus , a zombie pixel monster whose support would be expect and a phantom whose influence exceeded all. Many tried to stop the Chrono-Necromancer, notably Zombie Captain America, who you think would be for the plan (y’know being a zombie), who enlisted of the aid of Scotland by enlisting Gordon Ramsay. Ramsay was aided in battle by a mysterious sith warrior but both were mortally wounded when a lobster bisque attack was turned against him by the mysterious Necromancer who managed to reanimate what little was left of the lobster and turn into a weird undead jelly creature that essentially crunched the both of them. Even the sith warrior’s mentor had attempted to evoke Chaos Physics to counteract the Necromancer’s Dead Magic. But without the aid of the faceless one, the master’s efforts were in vein. Soon Assuran would travel back and time and change history forever, all the while the faceless one drinks tea casually with some dwarves.

    The New World
    Upon arrival, they saw the new lord of the wastes upon his throne of bones- a zombie wench fanning him with peacock feathers and another to poor him wine. “It’s a fine day to be alive, isn’t it gentlemen?’ the necromancer said to the seven. “Not for you it isn’t!” the bounty hunter pointed a revolver at him, Assuran look at him condescendingly as if him immune to any attack. Abruptly the sith apprentice rose from the ground in front of the man known as Fett. He looked on in shock, as the female sith walked slowly over to him; clearly no longer alive – the red bandage on her face fell off as let out a quiet “Errrrgh”. “She’s no longer the sith you knew!” yelled CesareB. Robot Santa had enough and pulled out his grenade launcher and blew her to bits “YOU’VE BEEN VERY NAUGHTY , TIME FOR DEATHMAS!”. Assuran laughed and a legion rose up from the dirt.

    The Admiral, Baidol, had beckoned them back so they could fortify somewhere safe. Just as had he said the orders an undead falcon came from above and gauged out the bearded man’s eyes, he screamed as his hands immediately reached for his eyes. As the zombies approached, his horse got spooked and he was thrown off his mighty stead. The others had already begun a retreat, Robot Santa wanted to continue fighting but the talking turtle and the berserker had assured him there was no victory in the open.

    The six remaining heroes eventually found themselves in a saloon, where they barricaded the various entrances. “We’ll make our stand here” the hunter said. “Hey , at least we have boos” the master Grillcook said. Surveying the stock, he saw a talking label with a pigeon on it

    “Yes, partake of the drink. Partake of the drink”

    “I think I will partake of the drink”. (Now normally Robot Santa would have stopped him by now but Robot Santa is kind of conflicted since robots run on alcohol and he temporarily needed this guy’s help so…yeah he did nothing.)

    “No!!!!” yelled Cesare Borgia

    “Welkom to my ‘orld , babeee” said the talking pigeon on the label and then started to laugh

    “What the hell?” said SaberOverEasy “I can’t speak correktly fur some raisen”

    “HE’S POSSESSED” yelled the turtle

    “What or you talkin’ about stuff n’ legs?’ “weit, your not legs or stuff , you are the zombie!”

    “He’s delusional, take him down!” yelled a random stranger from outside. The berserker hurled himself at him as the rest of the group restrained him. “We can’t stay in here any longer, it isn’t safe, “ said the Turtle. “ I agree, it’s time to start fighting…again!” yelled Robot Santa. Cesare looked over to the berserker, Gatsu, and asked his opinion …he merely shrugged in an anti-hero sort of way. “We have to get them back for what they did to one Sith of Virtue!”. “Ok, then we’re agreed , then” said the turtle. “I shall stay here while the rest of you begin your assault”

    “Why are you staying here?”

    “To look after Saber, of course. Hahaha what else would I do? And I’m not use to you in a fight. “ smiled the turtle

    “……Al..Alright” said the bounty hunter.

    “Good, now toodle-loo”

    The remaining four found themselves outside within moments, they soon a heard a thud behind them as Langly blocked the way back in.

    “I don’t think the turtle could care less if we live or die”

    “I thought that was a given..”

    “Shut up, it’s time to kill zombies!”

    The four went forward and fought valiantly, but no matter how valiant. Valiance cannot overcome sheer power. Over time they would start to fall. First was the Robot Santa “Mill” who sacrificed himself in a nuclear attack on Zombie Pittsburgh. Cesare Borgia would be tempted to the life of undead by the many lovely ladies that now inhabitated that realm, he would later be known as Cesare B. and become an undead pimp. Only the bounty hunter slash jedi, ObiFett, and the man with the sword that seems to say he is compensating for something, jdarksun, were still alive as of present.

    “I think this is the end” said Obi

    “It will never end as long as Assuran keeps making new disciples” jdarksun stated

    “Hey! I forgot I come from a long,long,long time ago! If we can find a time portal, I might be able to get some of my clone buddies to help out!”

    “You just now, thought of that?” jdarksun looked at him pissed

    “Well, I kinda just found out time portals are a thing. Guess I should have known since I’m from the past but” and he did a shrug his clone son would become famous for

    jdarksun shook his head “Well we have no choice, as of the present we live in

    Wins Game of the Year
    obifettwan.jpg +Jdarksun.png
    Survive to Be the Best Players

    Thanks For Voting and Happy Holidays

    The Living
    • Assuran - Master Necromancer and Time Master
    • Obifett- Half Bounty Hunter/Half Jedi
    • jdarksun- Guts

    The Uncertain
    • SabreOverEasy- The Fencing Grill Cook and Masked Vigilante
    • Langly- The Talking Turtle
    • TehSpectre- Spirit of Vengeance
    • Invictus- Faceless wanted Posters are found all Over the Old West

    The Undead
    • Auralynx- the falcon king
    • Egos- the ???
    • CesareB- Undead Pimp
    • Gizzy- dungeon crawling cat
    • ZombieHero- surprisingly still a zombie
    • MrT- Undead B.A. Baracus and now a lieutenant in the Undead Legion
    • Buddha73-there was nirvana
    • Kime - leader of an undead cult
    • Premium - still a pixel zombie

    The Dead (?)
    • Vertroue- Mercy Shot
    • Mill- Sacrificed Himself

    Egos on
    MatevErin The RedMillObiFettpremiumMrTLiciousInvictusGandalf_the_CrazedBuddha73InfidelAssuranKaykime
  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    Now to take us out, two videos dedicated to the each respective Best Player



  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    Also apologies for any typos, etc. Wanted to get this up by morning. Will fix when I have some time.

  • AssuranAssuran Is swinging on the Spiral Registered User regular
    I'm actually really humbled to win game of the year and I would be remiss if I didn't also give props @MrBlarney my thanks for all of his help when preparing the game.

    Sorry I missed most of this as I was dealing with a serious case of the dry socket from my wisdom teeth removal but I think Jdark and Obi were clearly two of the standout players this year.

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Bedlam wins Prettiest Princess!





    AuralynxMatevGandalf_the_CrazedErin The Red
  • Buddha73Buddha73 Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    Not to be a Grinch but my name is Buddha73 not Buddha74. Just had to say it. it's happened twice now.

    Buddha73 on
  • ObiFettObiFett Use the Force As You WishRegistered User regular
    Thanks for the nod my way by voting me in as Best Player. You guys are awesome.

    Its good to feel appreciated here. Probably more than you guys realize. :) I consider the Phalla Community on PA to be my little home on the internet. PA is a great place in general and the forums are filled with amazing people. I'm all over the place and hit quite a few forums and sites, but this place feels like home and CF is always the first page I check. I feel like I've made some progress in my playstyle and hosting, but am still in awe at hosts like @MrBlarney or @I Needed A Name To Post. and players like @Infidel and @Egos and @Langly. Hopefully one day I can contribute to the community as much as they have in their time.

    Thanks for the votes for my various games. I poured a ton of myself into them and while they weren't perfect and many of them could be considered trainwrecks (I still regret Phallance 2), I smile anytime anyone brings them up. Phalla Squadron and Phallance 2 both being nominated meant a lot to me.

    Speaking of the phrase "a lot", that reminds me of the time I quit this community. @Jdarksun pushed my buttons a bit too much one game (culminating in a post death joke about my use of "alot") and I took a break as a result. He is a great dude, though, and we talked because of that tiff and I learned a bit about him that I otherwise wouldnt have. Jdark is a pillar of the community here and it would be a sad place without him. He's analytical, understands the game, and is great at reading people. Also, he loves Star Wars nearly as much as me so there's that. I think it is fitting that we both were chosen to be Best Player this past year.

    MatevErin The RedSeGaTaiBuddha73MrTLiciouskimejdarksun
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    I suppose I should chime in as well

    Congrats to everyone who got awards, and to everyone who was nominated!

    I consider myself lucky to be able to play with such a wonderful group of folks, and it was very encouraging to have my first game included in the nominations, it's wonderful that people still think so well of it now.

    It's been a rough year for me, but it's nice to have a good game and great people to come back to. Cause in the end, that's what we're here for. To share our love of games and forget our cares, if only for a little while, right?

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
    Erin The RedAuralynx
  • CesareBCesareB Registered User regular
    Thanks Zombie for hosting these awards, and similar thanks to all of the great guest narrators for their contribution to making this another success. I think these awards really helped underscore that, even though activity is maybe a shade below what some of the old-timers are used to, the game is still really rewarding, and innovative, fun games are still being made all the time. It was great to see myself nominated a few times, and seeing other newer players/hosts being recognized for their efforts convinces me that we've still got a lot of great games yet to play.

    Hooray for Phalla! Now lets get back to killing each other mercilessly!

  • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
    I was pretty inactive on the Phalla front this past year, so that's why I recused myself from this Awards thing (not that I've participated in Phalla Awards much in the past in any case). Thanks for the best game nomination; I'll do my best to be better next year. :D

  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    Buddha73 wrote: »
    Not to be a Grinch but my name is Buddha73 not Buddha74. Just had to say it. it's happened twice now.

    Fixed. OOC why 73?
    I'm sorta doubting you are 40 or turning 40 :)

    That would make the gg rivalry much more amusing

  • KayKay What we need... Is a little bit of PANIC.Registered User regular
    @Egos the work you put into your narration up there blew me away.

    Nominate Egos for most amazing Phalla award narrations of all time, plz.

    3DS FCode: 1993-7512-8991
    GizzyZombie HeroMill
  • Buddha73Buddha73 Registered User regular
    Egos wrote: »
    Buddha73 wrote: »
    Not to be a Grinch but my name is Buddha73 not Buddha74. Just had to say it. it's happened twice now.

    Fixed. OOC why 73?
    I'm sorta doubting you are 40 or turning 40 :)

    That would make the gg rivalry much more amusing

    It was my senior year football number in high school. I think of it has my lucky number. and no I'm no way near 40. I'm 21 and gg is a few years older then me. Also Buddha was my nickname in high school since when i laugh or smile I look like my profile pic minus the big ears. lol so now you know.

  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Now that I know you folks do this sort of thing I'll be certain to try my hand at some more phallas in 2014.

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