So a few months ago I was dragged to go 'witness the splendor of nature' by doing one of white America favorite pass time, hiking. So to make sure I get a healthy facial of nature, they told me that I should hike up Angels Landing
The trail to Angels Landing is 2.4 miles (3.9 km) long. It begins at the Grotto drop off point on the park's shuttle system. It roughly follows the path of the Virgin River for some time, slowly gaining elevation in sandy terrain. As the trail gets steeper and leaves behind the river, it becomes paved. After a series of steep switchbacks, the trail goes through the area between Angels Landing and the Zion Canyon that is a gradual ascent. Walter's Wiggles, a series of 21 steep switchbacks, are the last hurdle before Scout Lookout. Scout Lookout is generally the turnaround point for those who are unwilling to make the final summit push to the top of Angels Landing. The last half-mile of the trail is strenuous and littered with sharp drop offs and narrow paths. Chains to grip are provided for portions of the last half-mile to the top at 5,790 feet (1,760 m)
No big deal, right? Yeah, if you're a freaking athlete. So after hours of struggling to get up that stupid rock, everyone just sat there for 10 fucking minutes and turned right back around
. You know what's worse then going up a huge ass rock? Climbing down that same fucking rock when you're bone dead tired.
How exactly is this enjoying nature? As far as I'm concerned, I'm never gonna go hiking anywhere unless it's a hike from a bar from one end of town to the next. I rather spend 6 hours on a stairmachine at the gym then go through that again. Such bull.
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Apparently it's for Japanese, Germans, White Americans, and like 2 black dudes (one being me).
I hiked around Catalina Island a few years ago and there are hella bison just wandering around
We had to just turn around at one point because a couple of them were blocking the only route and just staring at us
Not saying hiking is fun for everyone but it might be for me since I've never really tried it.
So why aren't I hiking?
Oh wait yeah it's because I'm a bum.
Fireworks? Naturally-occurring steak sandwiches? Mad Men marathons?
Hiking can be fun! Just don't hike up a cliff.
Man Runyan is a way better LA hike
If you can stand the ceaseless body shame upon seeing a neverending stream of impossibly cut shirtless dudes
It's a thing, so long as you don't mind it rare.
That reminds me of the time my family visited Yellowstone. We were on our way through when there came to be a herd of bison standing on the road. People were getting out of their cars to take pictures up close and there were park rangers going "GET BACK IN YOUR CARS, YOU IDIOTS"
Well, it's more like whenever I have friends from out of town, they always want to do the Hollywood Sign hike, so I end up doing that.
I'm way too lazy to actually plan out hikes anymore.
Hike Your Way To A Hot Ass In 28 Days!
continue to walk it off
If you're in Japan, it's often a little old lady running some sort of food stand. She hikes up every day to work and is in better shape than you'll ever be. This happened at least twice to me. I always thought it was pretty awesome.
I have two friends who just finished the Pacific Coast Trail and another two who are about to begin it.
I'd love to do that someday.
Someday when I could take off 3-4 months of work, remove myself from society and just experience nature with a friend.
Old ladies: tougher than Casually Hardcore.
Are you a fan of nature?
How about fitness?
Well, have I got a winning combo for you.
Speaking of which
if you get a chub from the Virgin River, you had better throw it back, because it is an endangered species.
Is this a boner joke? I can't tell.
alt post: I was told there were never any chubs in the virgin.
Not really, and no!
Although if there were something cool at the top, that would sweeten the deal
In all honesty I really enjoyed my time at the Arches National Park, mostly because of this bombstatic restaurant located in Moab